Sunlight and Shadows

by Christine Cross

  “Maybe,” he answered. “But, there’s no time to make extra. Someone’s got to help Ben around the farm.”

  “Well, I suppose,” she said reluctantly. “Since he seems so averse to caring for horses…”

  “Lucky for us he is.”

  “Lucky for us?” she asked, a smile lining her lips. “Or just lucky for me?”

  “I’d likely be in more trouble than you if Ben found you here,” he said.

  “I doubt that.”

  The smile faded from her face and her eyes looked downward. She moved away from the saddle and a hint of color came into her face. It was as though she’d just been reminded of something horrible.

  As she moved away from the saddle on the workbench and towards the small table where he had set her midday meal, she suddenly doubled over and clutched at her belly. Joshua rushed over to her.

  “Eliza? Eliza, what’s wrong?”

  “It’s nothing,” she said waving him off. “Just a... just a-”

  She let out a grunt as she bent forward again, clutching her stomach.

  “Is it the baby?” he asked. “Is it time?”

  “I... I suppose it might be,” Eliza said breathlessly.

  Joshua felt his entire body freeze at that. He quickly realized that he had no idea what to do now.

  “All right,” he said finally. He moved closer to her and gently put his arm around her shoulders guiding her towards the bed of hay.

  “Just...just lie down,” he said. “I’m going to get help, I’ll be right back.”

  Eliza looked like she was about to protest but, as soon as she opened her mouth, another grunt of pain spilled out.

  “It’ll be all right,” he said.

  He rushed out the side door of the stables and back to the house. He entered through the back door that led to the kitchen, hoping Isabell would be there.

  When he arrived, however, Isabell was nowhere in sight. Panicked, he moved through the kitchen door to the house’s main room.

  There, he was further surprised to see his older brother standing at the open main door, speaking with a stranger. Isabell stood behind Ben looking wary.

  “The girl’s been missing for a good two weeks now,” the stranger at the door was saying. He stood a good few inches taller than Ben who was tall as a church steeple as it was.

  This man had a harder look about him from his unshaven face to his small sharp eyes. When Joshua looked to the man’s hip, he could see a gun holstered at his side.

  Joshua felt the blood drain from his face as he realized what this man was. A bounty hunter.

  One of the hardened men who made their living killing cattle thieves and, occasionally, catching runaways.

  “Her father’s eager to see her returned to him. She’s with child, you see. By living on the run, she could kill both the baby and herself.”

  If Joshua had not been almost certain that the man was after Eliza before, he was now. There was no question.

  “And you’re certain the girl ran here?” Ben asked looking at the man skeptically.

  “She was seen heading this way,” the stranger said. “I’ve checked in town, no one’s seen her. Been searching the farms for the past few days.”

  “Well, I can tell you there’s been no sign of anyone else around here for weeks,” Ben said.

  “And you’re sure about that?” the stranger asked.

  “Positive,” Ben replied confidently. “I think I’d know if a runaway had stolen onto my farm.”

  Joshua was tempted to sigh in relief at this brother’s blind confidence. But he remained as rigid as he could, hidden in the kitchen’s doorway.

  When Ben turned and saw Joshua in the doorway, Joshua felt the tension return to his shoulders tenfold.

  “What are you doing back in the house?” he asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be grazing the horses?”

  “The mare’s got a lame foot,” Joshua said, inspiration suddenly coming to him. “I’ve been trying to bandage it but she’s kicking something awful. I was hoping Isabell might be able to help.”

  “And who is this?” the large man asked, stepping past Ben and into the house from the doorway.

  “This is my brother, Joshua,” Ben said, looking slightly affronted that the man had pushed into his home without being invited. “Joshua this is-”

  “Charlie Sanders,” the man said ignoring Ben and striding towards Joshua.

  “I’m looking for a girl. Long brown hair, blue eyes. Very pretty. About eight months pregnant. I don’t suppose you’ve seen anyone like that around here, have you?”

  Joshua felt his face color and shook his head.

  “And, if you don’t mind, I do need to get back to the stables. Ben,” he said turning to his brother, “could Isabell come and help? If she’s not too busy?”

  “I thought you were supposed to have a steady hand with horses,” Ben said derisively.

  “Don’t be cruel, Ben,” Isabell said putting a hand on her husband’s shoulder. “I’ve heard animals in distress can put up quite a struggle.”

  She turned to Joshua and gave him a small smile.

  “Of course, I’ll go.”

  Joshua, his heart pounding nodded and waved her towards the kitchen door.

  “Joshua,” the large man said before Joshua could follow his sister in law out into the kitchen. “If you see anything be sure to let your brother here know. I might come by to check again in a day or so.”

  Joshua, his heart in his throat, could do nothing more than nod. Quickly, he shut the kitchen door behind him and moved to Isabell who was waiting for him on the hill.

  “Joshua, are you going to tell me what this is really about?” she asked as soon as he reached her.

  “I told you,” he said quickly. His eyes darting to the barn where Eliza had been left alone far too long. “The mare’s got a bum leg and-”

  “And we both know you’ve fixed worse on those horses by yourself plenty of times before.”

  Joshua felt heat rush up his face once again at having been caught out, but forced it aside as best he could.

  “We don’t have time,” he said. “You’ll see when you get there.”

  Running as quickly as he could, he made his way to the stables. He heard Isabell following after him as he made his way to the hay stacks in the back room.

  Eliza was laying on her makeshift bed, one hand still on her stomach, but she was no longer crying out in pain. And though she was still breathing heavily, color had returned to her face and she did not seem to be in much pain.

  Concerned, Joshua moved over to her and took a seat beside her on the bed of hay.

  When he did, he heard a gasp from the doorway. He turned to see his sister-in-law’s stunned face, eyes wide with shock. Isabell opened her mouth several times to speak but could not seem to find the words.

  “Eliza,” Joshua said shakily. “This is my sister-in-law, Isabell. She knows much more about your... condition than I could manage.”

  Eliza pushed herself up on her elbows, her eyes widening as well.

  “Who else have you told?” she asked a slightly accusing sound in her voice.

  “No one,” he said. “No one else knows. I promise.”

  “How long has this girl been here?” Isabell asked. Now that she had found her voice, she spoke strongly and advanced on Joshua with hard eyes.

  “About two weeks,” Joshua said. “I found her sleeping on the hay. And I... well I couldn’t just throw her out.”

  “And I suppose this is the girl that bounty hunter was looking for,” Isabell said.

  “Bounty hunter?!”

  Eliza’s voice rang out at a fevered pitch. Joshua heard her breathing become more shallow and she forced herself up on the bed looking quickly from Joshua to Isabell.

  “Don’t worry Eliza,” Joshua said touching her shoulders and trying to move her back down to a resting position. “He doesn’t know you’re here.”

  “What was his name?” she asked fiercely.
/>
  Joshua had to think for a moment. He had met the man so briefly and had been so worried that he hadn’t taken much stock of what he said. Then he remembered.

  “Charlie,” Joshua said absently. “Charlie Sanders.”

  He watched as Eliza’s face turned pale, almost white. Her eyes widened in fear.

  “I knew he would come for me,” she said desperately. “He knows where I’ve gone! I’ll have to leave!”

  She actually made to get up but Joshua put his hands on her shoulders once again.

  “You can’t leave now,” he said. “I thought you said the baby was coming.”

  “The pains stopped almost as soon as you left,” Eliza told him.

  “Phantom pains.”

  Isabell’s small voice issued from behind them as though unsure of herself. Both Joshua and Eliza turned to her.

  Isabell heaved a sigh and moved toward Eliza.

  “They call those phantom pains. It happens sometimes when the baby’s a few days from being born.”

  Isabell looked to Joshua and with a hand movement indicated that he should rise from his seat. Joshua did quickly. Isabell moved to take it instead.

  Gently, she put both hands on Eliza’s stomach. Eliza shrunk away from her touch, looking at her suspiciously.

  “It’s all right,” Isabell said offering Eliza an understanding smile. “I was the oldest of eight children. I helped my mother deliver the last four. I know what I’m about.”

  Slowly, Eliza nodded and relaxed back against the hay.

  “May I ask how you came to be in this condition?” Isabell asked, her hands still gently moving against Eliza’s stomach.

  “It was one of my father’s ranch hands,” she said. “A boy only a little older than me. He sweet talked me. Told me things I’d never heard from anyone else. Told me I was beautiful and kind and lots of other things. After I told him... after I learned that I was with child... I told him it was his. He refused to believe it. Called me a liar. He was gone the next morning.”

  Eliza’s voice wavered and she looked down at her small hands as though she was speaking directly to them.

  “I tried to hide it from my father,” she said. “I did as long as I could. When he saw... what I’d done... he told me he would abandon it at the orphanage a few miles away. I couldn’t stand to think of my baby in a place like that so... I ran.”

  Eliza’s lip quivered and her eyes became red with unshed tears. She bit down on her lip and looked away from the others as though to keep them from falling.

  “And that man... Charlie Sanders,” she said. “He’s... he’s a friend of my father’s. I’m sure Pa sent him after me. He won’t stop until he has me!”

  Isabell looked up at Eliza. Her eyes seemed to fill with tears as well. She gave a small cough to hold them back.

  “Well,” she said. Her voice quivering slightly. “He doesn’t have you yet. And it’s best not to think about him for now. You’ll need to rest for the next few days. From the little I can tell, the baby seems as though he’ll be ready any day now.”

  Eliza looked at her then up at Joshua. He forced himself to give her a small smile. This seemed to encourage her, she gave a half-smile in return before turning back to Isabell and nodding.

  Isabell stood. As soon as she did, Joshua made his way back to Eliza’s side. He sat down beside her and looked into her dark eyes. He saw fear there, to be sure. But, there was also something else shining just behind it. Something like hope.

  “Don’t worry, Eliza,” he said. “You’ll be all right.”

  “Both of us, I hope,” Eliza said. She smiled and put a hand on her stomach. It took a moment for Joshua to realize that Eliza was talking about the child in her belly and not about him.

  A strange, disappointed sinking feeling dropped to his stomach even as he forced a smile back at her.

  “Both of you,” he said gently. Her smile reached her eyes this time as she looked back at him. Perhaps it was this smile that inspired him to lean down and press a gentle kiss to her forehead.

  When he pulled back, it was to find Eliza’s dark eyes widened in surprise looking back at him.

  Eliza opened her mouth as though to say something but, before she could get the words out, Isabell spoke.

  “Joshua,” she said. “We need to get back to the house. Your brother will worry.”

  Joshua nodded reluctantly and with another half-smile at Eliza, he stood and walked out of the stables following his sister-in-law.

  “She won’t be able to stay there,” Isabell said as soon as the stables had been left behind. “You know that, don’t you?”

  “Of course,” Joshua said. Though his heart felt heavy at the thought. Of course, he knew that Eliza could not simply live in his brother’s stables forever. But, over the past few weeks, he’d become so used to seeing her there, so used to eating with her, speaking with her, hearing her laugh that the thought of being without her caused an empty hole to form in his chest.

  “And a stable is far from an ideal place to have a baby,” Isabell continued.

  “It was good enough for Jesus,” Joshua quipped.

  “Don’t get smart with me.”

  Isabell stopped walking and turned to Joshua her arms once again crossed over her chest and her eyes looking hard at him.

  “That girl will need a proper bed and a doctor if the baby is to be born alive,” she said. “To ensure that, we’ll have to tell Ben.”

  “No,” Joshua said firmly. “You know what he’ll do! He’ll turn her over to that...that man! That bounty hunter! Besides, I promised Eliza that-”

  “You also promised her that she and her baby would survive the birth.”

  Joshua bit his lip and looked away. He knew, under normal circumstances, Isabell would be right. A baby could not be born in a stable with very little help and no doctor on hand. It was very unlikely that either the child or its mother would survive.

  But, even when Joshua considered this, he couldn’t help but remember the large bounty hunter at the door. The gun at his hip or the dark glare in his eyes. He remembered Eliza’s fear when she talked about her father. Her determination never to go back to him.

  Ben would send for the bounty hunter, Joshua knew that. His brother might just be compassionate enough to wait until the child was born. But then, he was sure to turn her in.

  “Isabell,” Joshua said. “You know Ben. Harboring a fugitive is against the law. Ben doesn’t break laws. He’ll turn Eliza over to that bounty hunter. He’ll send her back to her father.”

  “Maybe... maybe it's for the best,” Isabell said. “The girl has nowhere else to go, after all, and, with a child-”

  “You saw the bruises on her arm! I know you did! He gave those to her!” Joshua said suddenly. “Do you honestly believe that Eliza or her child would survive one day in that man’s house?”

  Isabell pursed her lips as though trying to think of an answer to that. Joshua knew that there was none.

  Even so, Isabell seemed determined to try one last approach.

  “Maybe I could persuade him to keep silent,” she said. “Perhaps I could explain-”

  “Isabell, you know he won’t,” Joshua said. “Even if he was convinced to let Eliza have her baby here, even if you could convince him not to call that bounty hunter. You know Ben would have her father or the sheriff pick her up as soon as it was done.”

  Isabell heaved a sigh. Joshua knew she had run out of arguments, out of reasons to tell her husband about the woman living in his stables.

  “Isabell, please,” Joshua said giving her one last push. She looked up at him and after a moment gave a tiny nod.

  “Alright then,” she said. “But, you have to tell me the moment she feels any pain at all. If that child is to have any chance, someone must be with her through the entire process.”

  “I will,” Joshua said happily.

  Isabell gave him a skeptical look and for a moment, Joshua was afraid she was going to try to persuade him to tell
Ben once more. In the end, however, she heaved a sigh.

  “Dinner will be ready soon,” she said. “Be sure the horses are fed and watered before sunset.”

  And, with that, she made her way back up to the house. As Joshua looked after her, he could not help an uneasy feeling that mixed with light relief in his chest.

  Despite his arguments, he couldn’t deny what Isabell had said. Eliza’s chances of survival would be greatly increased if she were to give birth in the house. In the stables, there was no telling what might go wrong.

  He shoved these fears aside as best he could and returned to his work, constantly glancing back at the stables, hoping that he had done the right thing. Both for Eliza and for himself.

  *****

  Eliza

  Eliza knew she had to leave.

  With her father’s hired man on her trail, and the birth of her child imminent, she could not stay here. If she did, she was sure to put Joshua in danger, either with the law, or her father, or Charlie.

  She knew Charlie had killed men before. And if he thought Joshua was the father of Eliza’s baby, even if he sensed anything romantic between Eliza and Joshua, he would not hesitate to shoot the boy.

  Either way, it would be a poor repayment for Joshua’s kindness.

  She woke that morning with the sun and began to neatly fold the blankets Joshua had given her. She set them beside the haystack that had become her bed. She set the small, feather pillow Joshua had brought out for her on top of them.

  When she surveyed her work, the folded blankets, the bare haystack, she could not help but feel a horrible pain inside her chest that refused to leave her in peace.

  She did not want to go.

  It seemed strange but, in this stable, lying on a bed filled with hay, she had felt truly at ease, truly at home for the first time in her life.

  In her father’s house, she had always been a liability. A sad reminder to him of the wife he’d lost.

  Perhaps that was why he was so eager to find her though he seemed to have little regard for her when she was at home. Perhaps a sad reminder of Eliza’s mother was better than no reminder at all.

  But here, in Joshua’s stables, she was not a sad reminder of anything. Nor did she feel like a burden despite her condition.