The Boy Project

by Kami Kinard

  After I read through that tongue-lashing — well, I guess it was a pen-lashing — I sat in stunned silence. What the heck’s an F+? Like that little plus sign is going to make failing any better? An F is an F is an F. This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. My parents are going to F-reak. It’ll be F-atal. I have ruined my F-uture!

  I was sitting there panicking when I heard a voice calling to me from a distance.

  “Kara. Kara?”

  Okay, the voice calling my name wasn’t so distant from me physically — but I’d let my mind wander far, far away from room 217 while imagining my death.

  “Kara McAllister!”

  Now the voice sounded irritated. My mind sped back to room 217.

  “Kara!” said Ms. Sabatino again. “Release those poor earthworms. They’ll probably love it in the courtyard.” Ms. Sabatino turned to the class. “Any volunteers to help Kara with these buckets?”

  Then a surprising thing happened. A weird, exciting, surprising thing. Two hands shot up. One was attached to Chip Tyler. The other was attached to Evan! Ms. Sabatino nodded toward Evan, who picked up two of the buckets and headed out of the classroom. I grabbed the third bucket and followed.

  Even though it was probably good for Evan to see what it felt like to be dumped, I still felt bad that his girlfriend jilted him for defending me. So as soon as I caught up with him I said, “Sorry about you and Maybelline.” (Yeah. I said Maybelline. Oops!)

  Evan looked at me for a second and I think the heat coming from my face could have roasted a marshmallow at that point. “I meant to say Colleen,” I added quickly.

  He looked at the ground and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. Then he chuckled. “Maybelline. I get that. She does wear a lot of the stuff, doesn’t she?”

  I’m glad he thought it was funny, but I sure didn’t. Tabs and I promised that we’d never tell other people the nicknames we use. I mean, if it gets back to Maybelline that we call her something other than Colleen, she’ll ruin our lives! I begged Evan not to repeat that (instead of denying I said it, like I should have).

  He smiled. “Your secret is safe with me.” I think he meant it.

  I told him again how sorry I was that his relationship was ruined and he said, “It was bound to happen sooner or later. She’s not really that nice.”

  He laughed when I agreed. You know, there aren’t many good things I can say about Maybelline, but I have to admit that the few days Evan spent under her discerning eye really helped his appearance. He was wearing cool clothes, had a great haircut, and his sideburns made him look even cuter. Of course, Evan always looked pretty good to me.

  I only had one thought on my mind as we walked back to class and that was: I was right all along! Evan Carlson is supposed to be my soul mate!

  After school. Waiting for Ms. S.

  At least having to meet with Ms. S gave me a good excuse to cut my chat with Tabbi short. It was hard to talk to her because the whole time she was blabbing about James I wanted to blurt out, “Since you like James so much, I guess you won’t mind if I like Evan.”

  I never did get the nerve to say it, though. Probably because I already knew what the answer would be.

  Bedtime

  I really don’t feel the need to tell my parents about the dreaded F+ because Ms. Sabatino is going to give me a chance to bring up my grade! The first thing she asked me was, “Why didn’t you follow through with the project described on your science fair application?”

  “I did follow through,” I said. “I distributed one hundred and fifteen surveys, compiled the data, and created a graph.”

  Ms. Sabatino raised an eyebrow that had been plucked to perfection. “So why didn’t you use it for your project?”

  “Mr. DeLacey said my sample wasn’t large enough.”

  “Hmmm. He may have had a point. But you could’ve surveyed more students.”

  “I know,” I sighed.

  She crossed her arms and looked at me in a way that means Keep explaining, kid to every kid who’s ever been in trouble.

  “Well, Mr. DeLacey also said there was nothing scientific about the surveys,” I continued. “He suggested that I start with something new.” I was tempted to tell her that Mr. D had also predicted I’d thank him when I got a grade higher than an F. Shows how much he knows about the future, because I’m not wasting a single breath to thank him for that little plus sign.

  Ms. Sabatino stood up and started pacing. “What subject does Mr. DeLacey teach?”

  “Algebra.”

  “I fail to see why you considered his opinion without asking mine.”

  Once she put it that way, I failed to see it, too. What good was Mr. DeLacey’s opinion? So far, the only thing it had gotten me was after-school detention and the lowest grade of my school career.

  “If you had come to me, I’d have encouraged you to keep the theme of your original project, even if you had to adjust it a bit. Scientists do their best work on topics that interest them. And I have a feeling you’re a lot more interested in relationships than earthworms.”

  No argument there, but it did make me blush. I can handle a little embarrassment, though, because Ms. Sabatino said that she’d give me a chance to redo my project for a B (if I do a super-great job). She said I should stick to the original topic but could change all other elements of the experiment. And I don’t even have to turn it in until the end of the semester, which is after the actual science fair, but all I really care about at this point is losing the F+! Ms. Sabatino is the coolest!

  Wednesday, February 7

  Sixth period

  I like the way Chip laughs. When he laughs, it’s not one of those breathy giggles or chuckles that only involves a person’s mouth. Chip’s laughter sounds like it comes from deep inside. Like his soul is happy. I couldn’t help but notice this today because something really hilariously funny happened when Ms. Sabatino handed back my notebook with the earthworm project data.

  Like I mentioned before, I designed my science project notebook to look almost exactly like my soul-mate project notebook. Of course I’d hoped something hilariously funny would happen, but usually I’m not so lucky.

  Anyway, once the notebook was in my hands, I purposely left it on my desk and went to sharpen a pencil. Maybelline fell for it! Before I could get back to my seat, she’d grabbed it. “Aha!” she sneered. “Now we can see who you’ve been writing about in Soul Observations.”

  Heads turned. I told her to give back the book — that it was my private property. This only encouraged her. (I knew it would!)

  “It’s not really your book because you have to be writing about us. What other souls do you know? Can’t be many.” She was whispering loudly, in an attempt to keep her voice low enough for Ms. Sabatino to pretend not to hear while watching YouTube science videos, but loud enough for everyone else to tune in.

  I made a fake grab for the book, which prompted Maybelline to flip it open and start reading. “What?” she gasped. “This isn’t about souls!”

  “Right,” I said. “It’s about soils. You’d have known that if you read the cover carefully in the first place.” I ripped the journal from her hands and held up it for the class to see. Maybelline looked shocked, then embarrassed. (Which is the first time I’ve ever seen that expression on her face.)

  Then Chip about fell out of his chair laughing. Most people don’t want to go head-to-head with Maybelline so no one else laughed out loud, but quite a few others were suddenly finding the tops of their desks awfully amusing. Chip didn’t seem to care, though. He laughed so loudly that Ms. Sabatino was forced to stop pretending she didn’t hear us and start a lesson, which wasn’t the best part of the scenario.

  Neither was the part where Maybelline’s well-mascara’d eyelids narrowed and she hissed, “Is this the same book I saw the first
time?”

  I nodded. “I’ve been working on the earthworm project for some time.”

  She didn’t look exactly like she believed me. But she didn’t look exactly like she didn’t, either. Mission accomplished.

  After school

  Well, the tables have turned and I’m not sure where my place is anymore. Because now instead of me seeking him out, Evan is seeking me out. No kidding. He came over and talked to me before school yesterday, and today he sat with me at lunch. Tabbi hadn’t gotten to the cafeteria at that point, but when she arrived, she blew right by us. She and James went and sat near the windows instead.

  If only Tabbi had broken up with Evan instead of the other way around! Because he’s so nice (other than dumping Tabs) and so funny. I’m always laughing when he’s around. I can’t help it! But I wish I could, because I was laughing at something he said in the cafeteria when I looked up and caught Tabbi’s eyes. At that particular moment, they looked like eyes that belonged in a face that had never laughed. Even her eyelashes looked angry. And she wouldn’t answer my calls or my texts after school.

  So I’m going to have to find somewhere to sit tomorrow where Evan won’t find me. At this point in my life, I need a BFF more than I need a BF. And Tabbi’s eyes told me that she’s not over Evan yet, no matter what her mouth says.

  End of discussion.

  Bedtime

  I can’t help thinking about Chip laughing when Maybelline grabbed my notebook. I mean, was he doing that to impress me? He certainly didn’t care about what Maybelline thought! Or did he just laugh because he thought it was funny? I thought it was hilarious myself. And I can’t help thinking about Evan, either. Because when I sat with him at lunch, it was because I was interested in him. Does it work both ways? Could I, Kara McAllister, actually have two guys interested in me?

  Thursday, February 8

  Fourth period

  Today I had the chance to have my first (tiny!) conversation with Dylan Hudson. I guess I should say I made the chance by forcing myself to sit at Maybelline’s table. I know. But I had to find a place where Evan wouldn’t join me. And sitting next to Maybelline pretty much guaranteed that.

  You should’ve seen her face when I walked over, by the way. She slowly looked me up and down and said, “What are you doing here, Scara?” So I told her that I’d been admiring her fingernails and I wondered if she could give me some tips to help me get mine looking better. (Dad claims that no one can resist talking about themselves. This must be true because even though she rolled her eyes and said, “As if,” before I sat down, she didn’t try to stop me and she immediately began talking about her nail-care regimen.)

  Anyway, while I was there I was able to speak to Dylan a few times, giving him a chance to fire back one-word responses such as “Righteous” and “Hmmm.” And, to be honest, he completely ignored a few of the things I said.

  Which was probably some kind of karma because I was completely ignoring Evan when he walked by with his tray and lifted his eyebrows in a way that asked Why the heck are you sitting there? I have to admit that it hurt to see the look on his face — to feel that he wanted to be sitting with me and to know that I wanted to sit with him, too.

  But I made the right decision. When I called Tabs after school, she answered.

  Friday, February 9

  After school

  I had only been at my desk in English for a minute when I felt someone pull one of my curls. (Why can’t I have straight hair?) I wheeled around with a dirty look already pasted on my face, thinking I was going to be aiming it at Maybelline. Unfortunately, that’s who usually sits behind me.

  “Whoa!” said Chip. He held up both hands. “I thought we were cool after being in detention together.”

  After assuring him that we “were cool” and explaining that it was a case of mistaken identity, I started having a really nice conversation with him. It began in the usual way . . . him telling me the new funny fake names he’d heard (Faye Slift, Lee Nover, Al B. Zienya). But then he saw that I was reading Inkheart, which is a book about a man who has a talent for reading characters out of books. Like, they actually come out of the books and interact with people. (So many times I wish I had that talent . . . only I wish I could read celebrities out of magazines instead.) Anyway, he got kind of excited when he saw Inkheart because he said it was one of his favorites. So we started discussing it. I didn’t know you could have conversations like that with guys.

  While we were talking, he twisted my hair around his finger and I could feel it gently tugging at my scalp and I can’t explain why, but I think I liked it. For a millisecond I wondered what it would have been like if we had kissed in that closet.

  Our discussion was completely ruined a few minutes later when The Vine walked over.

  “What are you two talking about?” she asked.

  “Inkheart,” said Chip.

  “Ooooo. That sounds really interesting.” The Vine scooted behind Chip and started RUBBING HIS SHOULDERS like she was suddenly a massage therapist. She pretended to look interested while we talked about the book a little more. But really, the conversation had taken a nosedive because Chip didn’t seem that interested anymore.

  “So.” I looked at The Vine. “Have you ever read Inkheart?”

  “Nope.” The Vine shook her black hair, then tugged at Chip’s shirt. “Isn’t it about time for class to start?” He let go of my hair and stood up. Then The Vine grabbed his arm and escorted him back to his seat as if he needed her help. I mean, it’s not like he’s an old lady who can’t cross a street alone.

  Now, I’m the first to admit that Chip is a total dweeb . . . but I kind of wish he hadn’t let The Vine get intertwined in our conversation. For the first time in my life I wished that Maybelline had been sitting in her usual place behind me.

  Saturday, February 10

  Early. Too early.

  Just got off of the phone with Tabs, who apparently couldn’t wait until a decent hour to call even though it is Saturday and sleeping in is about as much fun as I can expect to have on weekends at this point. It was not one of my favorite conversations.

  Tabs: Kara? You were awake, weren’t you?

  Me: Mmmmm.

  Tabs: Good! ’Cause I can’t wait to tell you who James and I saw at the movies last night.

  Me: Mmmmm.

  Tabs: The Vine. And guess who she’s creeping around now.

  Me: (Suddenly springing up even though I have a sinking feeling) I’m not sure I wanna know.

  Tabs: Of course you do. It’s Chip.

  Me:

  Tabs: Can you believe that? Like, I know we give Gina a hard time and all, but can you believe she likes that dork? I don’t know what she sees in him.

  (I do. But I didn’t admit this to Tabbi.)

  Me: Hmmm. Interesting.

  Tabs: She was all over him, too.

  Me: Um, you mind if I call you back? I was kinda asleep when you called and I’m having trouble concentrating.

  Hopefully by the time I call Tabs back, she’ll have something better to talk about. I don’t want to hear about how Chip Tyler, who thought he was too good to get a perfectly-free-no-strings-attached-spin-the-bottle kiss from me, is now kissing The Vine. How humiliating for me. And for Chip. Why can’t he see that he can do better?

  Not that I like him! I totally don’t. I just thought he was interested in me. But even if I did decide that I liked him at some point in the future, I could never go out with him now. He’s off-limits FOREVER. Because how could I like a guy who lets The Vine hang all over him?

  How will I ever find a soul mate when everyone keeps getting off-limits? I’ll probably have to move to some more populated area. Like New York City. Or China. Some place where there are so many guys that The Vine wouldn’t have time to get to them all.

  And someone would be
left for me.

  After lunch

  To: Kara M

  From: BebeTruelove

  Subject: Tip #6

  Dear Soul Mate Seeker,

  Remember that your soul mate is that one person who shares your hopes and dreams. So he should share your interests as well. Find someone who shares your interests and maybe you’ve found someone to share your life.

  Tip #6: Find common interests.

  Good Luck in Love,

  Bebe

  Take an interest survey!

  Not sure what you like? Take our free interest survey and we’ll tell you more about yourself. A five dollar processing fee will apply.

  Click here to take survey!

  ♥ Interest ♥

  (Must be 18 years of age to order.)

  Thanks a lot, Bebe. I thought I’d found common interests with Chip, but The Vine ruined it.

  Sunday, February 11

  After lunch

  Furthering my soul mate search via my science project was almost the last thing I wanted to do after hearing about Chip and The Vine. Unfortunately, the absolute last thing I wanted to do was keep that F+ in the grade book. So I spent a good part of yesterday lying around on my fluffy white cloud rug gazing at my Christmas-light stars while trying to think of ways to get a larger sampling for my surveys. I really wanted to survey guys who don’t go to my school because I’m pretty close to concluding that every guy there is a jerk, a jock, or has dated The Vine.

  I thought about handing out the surveys at the mall or something. But that’d probably make me look pretty desperate. Then I thought I could do one of those phone surveys. I’d dial random numbers, ask if there was a teenager in the house, and conduct the survey. But I remembered how many times I’ve hung up on people giving phone surveys. Finally, I thought of the perfect place to distribute tons of surveys anonymously. It’s that alternate social networking universe where enemies are friends, friends are friends, strangers are friends, and relationships have nothing to do with reality. Faceplace.