Cheeky King
Page 14
She had a point. It probably wasn’t. As a matter of fact, it was probably the worst thing I’d ever done. But even after the gala, the way he looked at me, even after all of that, I still couldn’t stop thinking about him. I still couldn’t walk away from him, which meant that was exactly what I needed to do—put a lot of distance between me and him and never look back. “I’m actually thinking of going back to New York.”
She leaned against the front door. “I had wondered when you would start to see that as a possibility. So when do you leave?”
I blinked at her. The light from the fading sunset made her hair look even fierier than usual as it dusted her shoulders. All Royal Guards had to keep their hair tied up, but the moment Ariel was off duty, she always let hers go free.
“Well, you’re my bestie, and if you’re moving to New York, then so am I.”
“As much as I love you, what are you going to do in New York? You’d be bored in days.”
She slid me a gaze, complete with raised eyebrow and pursed lip. “Honey, it’s New York City. I’ll find something to do. I can get a job like a normal person and not pack a gun. Besides, don’t you remember that the very sexy men of Blake Security offered me a job?”
I hadn’t considered it, but it was an option. And Lord knew Ariel would be good at the job. “Oh my God, that would actually be awesome. But I feel like if I go back, I need to do it on my own, you know? Strike out and see if I can. With you always there to back me up, it’s like having a constant safety net.”
“As it should be. After all, I am your bestie.”
“Yes, you are. But I might need to do it on my own, you know.”
“Fine, ruin my fun. I had all these ideas about being a lady spy for Blake Security. Now, you’ve just dashed my hopes and dreams.”
“Oh come on, I wasn’t trying to dash your hopes and dreams. I’m just trying to figure myself out.”
“Well, let’s figure you out over a pint of ice cream. As always I have no groceries in the house, so I’m relying on the kindness of my second family.”
I opened the door and tossed my keys in a bowl by the door. All the lights were off, so I turned on the ones in the living room. I kicked off my shoes before placing them in the shoe rack in the closet. Ariel followed suit, and we both headed for the kitchen. But she took a detour. “I’m gonna go pee first.”
How this girl made it through life with a bladder the size of a peanut was beyond me.
I pulled open the freezer, grabbed the chocolate crunch and got two teaspoons. My mother would have a conniption, but I didn’t care. My present mood called for extra indulgence. I might even grab a bottle of wine. Huh! I tried not to think about how Sebastian had offered to sip the wine off of my body back in London. I couldn’t say I wasn’t tempted because I sure as hell was. I didn’t bother to wait for Ariel before digging in, and I didn’t even get a bowl. I just tucked in and scooped some onto my spoon and then moaned in delight. When I went for my second spoonful that was when I heard the “Oh my God!”
Then there was clattering, some thumping, and then there was running. Ariel came tearing around the corner at full speed. There was more thumping and clattering in the hallway, and out came Michael and Robert following close behind, both in various stages of undress.
Michael called out. “Ariel, it’s not what you think.”
Ariel didn’t even stop. She just headed straight for the front door, and out she went. I scowled at the both of them and tossed my spoon in the sink. “Jesus Christ, you guys can’t even be fucking discreet? It’s bad enough you’re continuing this affair, but God, Michael, that could have been Mom.”
My brother had the good sense to look embarrassed. Robert, however, gave me a look that was all challenge. Direct stare, slightly raised brow, set jaw.
I ran after Ariel and found her at the first flower roundabout that led to one of the side gardens. “There you are.”
She was pacing and running her hands through her hair. “Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. I didn’t handle that well. I just—I was just going to ask Michael if he had any of that hand lotion. You know, the one that smells like him, the sandalwood. And I—The door was ajar, and I just pushed it open because it wasn’t closed. Then I saw them and they were—”
“Okay, breathe, Ariel. Breathe. It’s fine. Everything is fine.”
“Is that—Is this like that meme, where that dog is in your house and it’s on fire and he’s like, ‘It’s fine. Everything is fine’? Because this doesn’t feel like everything is fine. Oh my God, your boyfriend, your ex, with your brother … ”
I just watched her and let her process the same way that I’d had to. It took her another good, solid thirty seconds before she realized that I wasn’t freaking out.
She stopped and turned. “You knew.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I knew,” I said more quietly.
“Since when?”
“Well, you know that person I caught Robert with?”
Her mouth fell open, jaw unhinged, chin on the ground. “No. No!”
I shrugged. “Yeah. That was basically the catalyst for me going to New York. So it was the best and the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Ariel went back to pacing and the running of hands through the hair. “Oh, my God. And instead of learning from their lesson, they just keep doing the same thing?”
“Yeah, pretty much. It seems the heart wants what it wants.”
She shook her head, her eyes wide in disbelief. “But it was your brother. How could he?”
“I’m not even trying to understand Michael right now. The whole thing is a disaster and Robert is threatening to tell everyone about how he found me with Sebastian wearing nothing but a bed sheet and a smile. And obviously, I haven’t told my parents.”
“Why not? After what he did to you? You’re going to just keep letting them believe he’s the perfect son?”
“If it was anything else, I would have told them right then. But this is about who he is and his inability to say something about it. Maybe it’s fear, maybe he’s not comfortable, but it’s not my secret to tell.”
Ariel resumed pacing. “You’re a really good sister. A better sister than I could ever be, because I would have lost my shit.”
“It could still happen. But for now, I’ve let it go.”
“Honey, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“Well, the only thing that’s changed now is that you know who it was. It doesn’t change anything that’s happened in the past. But I’m sorry for you too. I know how you felt about Michael.”
Suddenly her eyes went wide. “Emily, that poor woman.”
“Honestly, I don’t know what their deal is. He barely sees her. He barely calls her. Maybe she already suspects. It’s up to him to tell her the truth. And I hope he does that soon.”
“I hope one day I can be Zen about this.”
“How are you feeling? I know how much you cared about him.”
“I’m in shock, honestly. If I’m being frank, I’m in complete and utter shock.”
“I get that, because I’m there too, or at least I was when I first saw them together. It’s had time to settle.”
“So what now? We just wait and pretend we don’t know what we know?”
I shrugged. “Pretty much. The only problem is I still have to figure out how to keep Robert from spilling the beans that I can’t keep my legs closed for the king.”
Ariel’s brows snapped down. “He’s such a fucking twat. I hate him. First he hurts you with your own brother, and now he’s threatening to what, blackmail you? He’s such a piece of shit.”
“Yeah, he is. That doesn’t change the fact that I have to do something to deal with him.”
That’s when Ariel patted my hand, and I knew there would be trouble. “You don’t worry about that. I’ll find a way to deal with Robert. Are you sure you’re okay though?”
I laughed. “You’re the one who got the shock. I’m okay. Besides, I’ve had a lot more time
to process.”
Suddenly, my pixie-like friend grabbed me up in a tight embrace. “I’m really sorry your ex-boyfriend is such a dick.”
Even as I squeezed back, I had to chuckle into her hair. “Yeah, me too.”
* * *
Sebastian
I didn’t want Lucas to be right. I didn’t want my brother to see everything. It was annoying. It was also probably what made him a great con man. We were going to have to do something about his con man ways eventually. How the hell was I supposed to sell him as the new prince of the Winston Isles, former con man and grafter? Luckily, he’d never been arrested, but those kinds of secrets were hard to bury.
But first things first, and I was going to celebrate the fact that I had jumped this hurdle. I was going to celebrate the fact that I had taken a step toward what my father had wanted all along. I was going to acknowledge how difficult that was and be proud of myself. I had passed the vote. My coronation was next month. Once I was officially king, then I would make the announcement and decree. All said and done, he had a point. I hadn’t been able to get Penny out of my head. So far, everything I had done was totally stupid and foolish and was meant to get her attention. It was meant to lash out at her in some way. My mother had seen it. Roone had seen it. And now Lucas had seen it too.
I scrubbed my hand down my face. What was I supposed to do? I’d tried staying away from her. Clearly, that hadn’t worked. Then I’d hurt her. I supposed, I could try talking to her, but that wouldn’t resolve the problem. Even knowing that I’d let go of everything with Laila still didn’t do the trick. A part of me remembered the life I thought I was going to have, and not the one that I have now. Well, you can keep up this cycle, or you can do something to fix it. What’s it going to be?
I opened the drawer on my desk and pulled out the framed picture of Lucas, Penny and me. It was one of those cheesy amusement park frames, but I’d still held on to it. The three of us had looked so happy. How could that have been only a little over a month ago? How was it that I’d been someone so different then?
Instead of slipping it back into my bottom desk drawer, I left it on my desk. Maybe it was supposed to serve as a reminder about who I’d been once and of how my life had changed. Fuck, I didn’t know. But I did know that I missed her. Maybe we could just clear the air, you know, with our clothes on. We might actually be able to come to some kind of common ground.
Sure, it’s easier said than done though because you’ve been a complete ass to her since you’ve been back. Yes, that was true. I had been an ass. I knew it. Pretty much everybody knew it. She’d taken it though, which, I couldn’t quite believe she’d done.
She wasn’t the real person you were angry at.
It didn’t take a psychologist to clue me in. I was pissed off with my father. The old man had meddled. And not just that, he’d controlled us both and he put in front of me someone that I could love, someone that I could actually care about. It had hurt when all of that was taken away. I needed to fix this, because the one thing that was very clear was that I couldn’t move forward if we kept up like this. One or both of us was going to destroy the other. And I didn’t want that, not for her. My anger was not necessarily her problem. Maybe she was right. Maybe she had just done her job and fallen for me as a byproduct.
At the end of the day, it wasn’t about her lies. It was about the fact that she’d been my father’s puppet. It was about the person who I believed I’d been falling for not existing.
So, I needed to fix things, and I had a lot further to go on the apology front. I had an idea about how to start and knew it had to be big, some epic, grand-gesture type situation.
“Are you done with me for the evening, Your Majesty?”
I leaned back in my chair watching Penny gather her things. Like a total ass, I’d made her shadow me the whole damn day. I hadn’t even done anything interesting. I’d just answered phone calls, had several meetings, and had given her the grunt work of shadowing me. Most of the time, I didn’t even have one of the guards in my office with me. But, oh no, I made Penny sit through every boring conversation.
Yep, asshole, right here. “Where do you think you’re going?”
She checked her watch. “My shift was over two minutes ago. Your replacement, I’m sure, is outside the door. I’ll go and check if he’s there. And if he’s not there, I’ll call my father to send in one, and then I’ll stay on your watch until someone turns up.”
I thought about arguing with her to see if I could just push her that much further, but I didn’t. She poked her head out the door and then mumbled a greeting of some sort to whoever was out there. And in just seconds, she was back in my office. “Your guard is posted outside. It’s Tom, this time. He said to just notify him five minutes before you want to leave and he’ll call a car to take you out if you want to go anywhere. Or if you like, he’ll escort you anywhere else you might want to go.”
“Are you still painting?” Where the hell had that come from?
She startled and then frowned. Then her brows snapped down. “Excuse me?”
“Painting, that thing that you used to do, or was that a lie?”
“No. It wasn’t a lie. I haven’t had much opportunity. Time to put away childish things and become an adult and all that. Thank you for asking, Your Majesty. I just don’t have any time these days.”
“I thought you preferred to be an artist instead of a Royal Guard.”
Her gaze flickered to mine. “I do, but I’ll do whatever the job calls for.”
When she walked out the door, I had to squash down any rebellious thought to call her back. Hell. Smooth, real smooth.
I remembered how she looked when she was painting. Eyes bright, paint invariably in her hair and somewhere on her clothes. She’d been mine then. And she’d been the bright spark I’d needed at the time. So maybe it was time for me to be the spark she needed instead of the reason hers was dimmed.
I knew what I had to do. I knew the one thing that would help us bridge the chasm between us. I picked up the phone and made a call to New York. “Hello Rison, I have a favor to ask. It’s about the Piques Gallery opening. I’d like some additional pieces added.” It might not be the answer, but it might go a long way toward starting over at the very least.
21
Penny
Sebastian had requested me again. This had to stop. I could only take so much. Every time I saw him, it hurt. Knowing I was so close and couldn’t have him was so painful.
Remembering that distant look after the ball, the way that blonde had looked up at him adoringly, I knew I was making the right choice. Those women could give him something I couldn’t. They were all viable candidates.
Was I actually going to walk in on him this time? Even if you do, it will be the last time. Because I’d had enough. The last six weeks at home had been great to see family and all that and to finally not be seen as a failure, but I wasn't happy. This wasn't what I needed or what I wanted to do. It had taken actually doing the job well to see that.
I knocked on the door of his private quarters, steeling myself for anything, readying for the disappointment that would inevitably flow through me, preparing for the slash of pain.
You can do this. It's fine. You can do anything for a certain amount of time. All you have to do is get through this. Then I can get on a plane to New York.
Of course I'd have to tell my father first, but that was okay. I was less afraid of telling him now because I had seen how disappointed he could get. I’d also seen how proud he could get. But even though he was proud, he kept watching me warily, no doubt waiting for me to screw-up something.
How exactly did I tell my father that I'd screwed the king of the Winston Isles? I certainly wasn't going to tell him that. Because that was just a level of I-fucked-up-my-life that I didn't want to contend with.
When Sebastian opened the door, he looked like the Sebastian I'd met back in New York. He wore jeans, a tight-fitting, cable-knit shirt, and his belove
d Chucks. His hair was unkempt, like he’d spent a lot of time running his hands through it or like he’d just got out of the shower and run a towel over it several times. His chin sported a layer of day-old scruff. He looked sexy. He looked delicious.
No. Do not do this. Do not get caught up in how he looks. Do not get caught up in who you think he is. He has already shown you.
I curtsied and mumbled, "Your Majesty. You requested to see me."
When I said ’Your Majesty,’ his lips thinned into a line. Well, what the hell else was I supposed to call him? He was the king.
"I wanted to speak to you."
"Yes, Majesty." I stopped talking, shoulders back, hands clasped behind my back and my eyes focused on a far point on the opposite wall. Right now, I wasn't Penny. I certainly wasn't Len. I was a nameless Royal Guard.
Sebastian expelled a breath. "Would you look at me?"
I lifted my gaze to the side and glanced over him briefly. "I just did, Your Majesty."
From the corner of my eye, I saw him start to pace. "Okay. I know I screwed up. And I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Nothing happened with Eliza. It wasn’t like that. I was hurt when you pulled away from me, so I needed you to hurt. It was childish. Stupid. I didn’t want her. Ever since you, it’s only been you. I just—I went a little dead inside when you pulled away from me.”
My heart broke all over again as I remembered. "Your Majesty owes me no apology." Even saying words made my heart break. I wanted to turn to him. I wanted to watch him apologize. I wanted to see the truth of it in his eyes and embrace him. Len wanted all kinds of things. I knew better.
"Yes, I do. The way I treated you the other night at the party, both in the office, and ... after.” He licked his lips. "And that thing with that girl … You have to know I didn't sleep with her. She kissed me. I wasn't into it. She wasn't you."
I inhaled deeply and my heart was about to burst in my chest. I wanted to believe him. But at the end of the day it didn't matter. Because he was now the king and I was a commoner. Not just any commoner, but Royal Guard. So that was just never going to happen. He was going to do as expected and marry some highborn socialite, as was the way of royalty. I didn't stand a chance.