The Alone Alternative
Page 26
‘Without media and celebrity support, this has no chance of catching on,’ says Gillian. ‘However, I take your point that we need to reduce consumerism and that clothes are the area where there is currently most resistance. My boss says there might be potential for a series on environmental issues to be created for children. He’s talking to a couple of producers and I’ve given him copies of your draft packs so they can see what we’re doing thus far.’
‘The sticking point is sex,’ says Marianne, noting Gillian’s startled expression. ‘I mean relationships. The last two decades have seen a shift towards more fashion consumerism, not less, with men joining women in their quest to buy clothes for appearance rather than functionality.’
‘This is hardly relevant on a children’s channel,’ says Gillian.
‘Pre-teens may not realise that the underlying purpose of fashion is to attract a mate, but the media has sexualised tweenagers in the past few years such that they are almost as interested in fashion and make-up as adolescents. I would like to see a reversal of that trend and it’s more likely to happen if the media message for all age groups is one of less consumerism.’
‘Businesses will try to fight back, otherwise they risk going bust.’
‘Businesses will need to adapt and evolve. If we are to consume less, it is essential. It won’t be popular, but ultimately there will be no choice. I am not suggesting that we lose interest in clothes, but that we need to embrace classics and longevity rather than disposable fashion. This might mean paying more for the original garment for it to last more than a couple of seasons. If we could turn the focus towards accessorising, it would be more economical and would place less stress on raw materials. The water consumption in textile production is phenomenal. If men and women believe their dating strategies are enhanced by these new behaviours and attitudes, then they will adopt them.’
‘In which case, we have to get a few of the younger celebrities to endorse it. I’ll put out a few feelers and see who’s already banging the environmental drum. They may be persuadable.’
*
Marianne keeps Edward informed of progress, mostly by email and text. Since the floods, he has made no further suggestion that she visit Broadclyst, even though the weather has improved. She deduces that he is waiting for her to make the next move but with the onset of the London Olympics and distracted by equestrian events and the tennis, she is disinclined to leave the city.
To: Edward Harvey
From: Marianne Hayward
Date: 27th July 2012, 22.27
Subject: Re: Olympics
Hi Edward,
Andy Murray has won Gold!
Am super-excited by the way the Olympics have lifted everyone’s mood. Great to have so much good news on TV instead of all the doom.
How is Meg?
love,
Mari
*
To: Marianne Hayward
From: Edward Harvey
Date: 28th July 2012, 18.31
Subject: Request
Dear Mari,
Agreed.
Meg is a little better but still can’t walk far or fast. Mostly we stay on home territory. Yesterday we ventured as far as the Molwings’ lane. She seemed to want to go further. Then suddenly she sat down and I had to carry her home. So sad to see. Have started going further afield without her otherwise will become unfit.
Patrick has offered me last minute ticket for closing ceremony. Wish I could invite you too. This will mean trip to London mid August. Wondering if you would like me to visit? We could discuss Scilly preparations – and stuff.
love,
Edward
And stuff …
To: Edward Harvey
From: Marianne Hayward
Date: 29th July 2012, 19.47
Subject: Re: Request
Dear Edward,
Stuff might be thwarted as Holly here for long weekend Friday–Monday. Don’t want to put her off as it is the first time in ages that she has said she will stay over. Think she wants to have chats before Scilly! But that doesn’t mean you can’t come. Indeed, I’d like you and Holly to meet again.
Mari x
*
To: Marianne Hayward
From: Edward Harvey
Date: 29th July 2012, 23.11
Subject: Re: Request
Dear Mari,
How about I come Saturday afternoon until Sunday morning? I could take you both out for a meal on Saturday evening? I will be out of the way late morning Sunday as am meeting Patrick to discuss planning. He says he can put me up Sunday night after the ceremony and I need to return to Exeter Monday morning as am giving talk to history branch of local U3A in the afternoon.
love,
Edward x
Marianne is excited at the thought of another encounter which with Holly’s presence in the house, removes any anxiety about strings or escalating intimacy. Scilly is only weeks away and it will be a turning point one way or another. Either she takes the plunge, or she doesn’t. If she doesn’t, she might as well say goodbye to a future with this most delightful and extraordinary man.
Without the day-to-day whirl of bells, meetings and lessons, she can think more easily about the future. She asks her regular set of workpeople to give her quotes for various home improvements that need to be done ahead of putting the house on the market. Two rooms need decorating and she wants the old carpet in the hall replaced by a laminate floor. She has ignored major refurbishments since Johnny died, unable to face the upheaval of workmen on her own.
When Holly arrives, she embraces Marianne and says, ‘I have felt far away and useless while you have been going through this Jessica thing. And I haven’t been very understanding, have I? About Edward. I’ve been selfish and blinkered. I’m sorry. It makes me sad to think of you here without Dad and I don’t want you to be lonely any more.’
With Holly’s permission, it is another obstacle removed.
*
It has been almost two months since Edward has seen Marianne and as he waits on the doorstep in Beechview Close, he is hoping that she will give some indication, however subtle, of there being progress in their relationship.
But it is Holly who answers the door. She shrieks his name and rushes at him with the abandonment of a five year old, almost knocking him over. His own children never welcome him with such enthusiasm. This is a type of greeting he only experienced from Meg.
She plants a kiss on his scarred cheek and gives him a big hug before he has had time to drop his bag and briefcase. ‘When Mum said you were coming, I was so excited. It’s been ages. We so missed you when you left; Dad, especially.’
Dad, especially. Not Marianne. She must’ve hidden it well. But then she was used to hiding her feelings from him so it must be one of her traits.
Edward absorbs details: tall and attractive, more woman than the girl she was when he was lodging; still the same long dark hair now in random waves, the modern untidy look. She wears a long blue dress and sandals, her mother’s casual summer style.
‘I was sorry to hear about Felicity. Can’t believe it. Mum said the chef is loads younger.’
‘Holly!’ says Marianne, hovering in the background, awaiting her turn.
Edward parks his bags in the hall and fleetingly places his arm round Marianne’s back. He is cautious about displaying affection in front of Holly. Marianne catches his eye, then goes to make tea while Holly ushers him into the living room.
‘Mum tells me you’re going to Scilly together. I’m cool about it now, but it was a shock at first. Another man; it takes some getting used to.’
Edward sits on the sofa, considering what to say. ‘It isn’t quite like that, Holly. I would like us to have a relationship of the sort you imply, but she’s probably told you we’re being very cautious. Plenty of time to think about the risks. Would have been much easier if we lived in the same area and could go on dates.’
‘Mum misses Dad a lot and I can’t be here much because of work and
my new relationship with Will. I don’t want her to be lonely. But I don’t want her to be hurt. You’re not divorced yet, are you?’
‘No, but only because Felicity and I have avoided communicating since she left. The time will come.’
‘If you need any legal advice.’ Holly laughs.
‘Of course, although a degree of impartiality might be advisable.’
‘How is your family adjusting to the idea?’
‘Harriet is very supportive, ditto James. Rachel is anxious and Chris probably doesn’t know yet – because there isn’t anything to know. Now your mum has finished teaching there’s more chance of spending time together – although with the floods and now the Olympics, we haven’t managed to meet until now. Scilly will be a defining time. Afterwards, if she comes to stay at the Deer Orchard, she can spend more time there; bring her writing.’
In meeting Holly again, Edward is even more aware of the enormity of starting a serious relationship with Marianne. He would be taking on the equivalent of a step-daughter too, perhaps slotting into some of the roles filled by her father. And there are four of his children for Marianne to acquire and with whom to forge relationships. No wonder she is sometimes overwhelmed at the prospect. Of course their mother is still alive, but Marianne would still be by his side to advise, not least because Felicity is in Italy.
In the evening, the three of them go to Cinnamon Culture, a superior Indian restaurant in Sundridge Park between Beckenham and Chislehurst. Edward knows that Marianne and Holly favour Chinese, but Marianne is keen to try this restaurant as she has read rave reviews on Twitter via the #BeckBromFL and thinks its authentic Indian menu will be more to her taste than the typical takeaway.
The restaurant was once a pub and has a spacious dining room with high ceilings and two long rows of tables covered with crisp white tablecloths.
All three of them have the starter of jumbo prawns in a delicious herby marinade. They discuss Holly’s career and then her relatively new relationship with Will.
‘He is the closest thing to a Dylan,’ she says. ‘Of course, there will never be another Dylan because he was young and some of those crazy traits mellow as you get older. But I can imagine Dylan evolving into someone like Will. He’s not as good-looking, but he’s kind and thoughtful and very persistent. I’m warming to him.’
‘I haven’t met him yet,’ says Marianne.
‘I didn’t want to dump him on you unless I felt it was going somewhere. Now I think it might, we can arrange a meeting. After you’ve been to Scilly, perhaps.’
Holly asks Edward about his children’s relationships. ‘If I remember, James was with Kate, and Rachel and Harriet weren’t serious about anyone.’
He thinks it is perhaps best not to mention the Harriet and Rick situation. If Marianne tells her, that is a different matter. ‘Kate is eminently suitable. Indeed, they want to buy me out of the Deer Orchard.’
‘Have you told me this?’ says Marianne.
‘Probably not,’ says Edward, taking a sip from his glass of water. ‘Waiting to see what can be done, finance-wise.’
Through main courses of lamb biryani (Marianne), chicken tikka (Holly) and wild boar vindaloo (Edward), they discuss Edward’s hopes for the documentary series and Marianne tells Holly about her involvement in the creation of the Education Pack. The food is lovely, the ambience buzzing but not intrusive and Edward is pleased to find conversation flowing easily between the three of them.
They return to Beechview Close for a cup of tea and at ten o’clock Holly announces she is retiring to bed to catch up on some reading.
‘I’m making a tactful retreat,’ she says. ‘I remember what it was like when I had boyfriends over and the parents wouldn’t leave us alone. Dad used to disappear and then keep coming back on the pretext of having forgotten something. So embarrassing. I won’t do that.’
Marianne blushes and closes her eyes. After Holly has gone, she remarks that to be chaperoned by your own daughter is weird and she supposes Edward felt the same about Harriet’s presence at the Deer Orchard.
‘It seems a very long time since that delightful night,’ says Edward.
‘With each passing week I find it easier to imagine us together without feeling guilty. And I don’t want to feel the slightest trace of guilt. You don’t deserve that. When the time comes, I want you to know that I am with you and only you, with no regrets or anxiety.’
But he doesn’t want to take liberties; not with Holly upstairs and Marianne sure to stop him. The promise for the future is ever clearer, ever more inviting. It won’t be long now.
Surely.
38
The Waiting Game
The following morning Marianne drives Edward to Beckenham Junction. He kisses her on the cheek, says, ‘It’s been lovely, as always,’ and as she watches him stride under the station’s archway entrance and through the ticket hall she knows that it is decision time. After what didn’t happen the night before, she recognises a different mood: her guilt has all but gone and in its place a certainty that she would like to move things forward. Holly’s cautious approval helps. And time is slowly healing, gradually lessening the grief.
She wonders about the love issue; wonders how much it matters at this time of life. Does he love her? She thinks he does but is unsure whether he is in love – or lust – or whether it is a deeper, more all-consuming and enduring variety. It would be useful to know, yet generally it is only the poets who put their complex emotional feelings into words.
Taryn’s rules suggest she should wait until he says so.
‘And you mustn’t say it to him first,’ said Taryn. ‘On no account. No matter what. Only then will you be sure of his commitment.’
To: Edward Harvey
From: Marianne Hayward
Date: 12th August 2012, 10.14
Subject: Visit
Dear Edward,
Let me know what it’s like at the ceremony. Details, not a cursory overview!
Thank you for being.
love,
Mari x
*
To: Marianne Hayward
From: Edward Harvey
Date: 14th August 2012, 20.12
Subject: Re: Visit
Dear Mari,
Thank you for everything …
Was lovely to see Holly again too. She has grown up so much but still retains her youthful charm.
When we arrived at the Olympic Park, we were struck by the wild flowers, even though they were fading slightly – such a good idea using so many native species. I thought of our sustainability project and how the insects would benefit if every landscaping development took this into account. There was also an inspired use of water which helped soften some of the more angular and functional buildings.
Acoustics were amazing for such a large space, but despite its size there was an intimacy – much as must have been felt in Greek and Roman theatres and amphitheatres. It was an incredible spectacle in terms of people – with athletes from a host of nations supporting each other and a positive atmosphere in the crowd too.
A longish trek to the nearest tube station, but made easier by the humour and joie de vivre of the volunteers – all still lining the route home after the show.
Overnight stop at Patrick’s riverside flat was revealing: a pristine sterile space devoid of any clutter; a typical bachelor pad with a modern arty feel. It was a bit awkward but at least he has a spare room.
Must dash.
love,
Edward
*
To: Edward Harvey
From: Marianne Hayward
Date: 14th August 2012, 21.04
Subject: Re: Visit
Dear Edward,
Sounds like it was wonderful! The mood did come through on TV – up to a point. Was the timing of your sending your email deliberate?
love,
Mari
*
To: Marianne Hayward
From: Edward Harvey
Date: 1
5th August 2012, 22.39
Subject: Re: Visit
Dear Mari
Time was pure coincidence. Yes, it was wonderful. The memories will stay with me for a long time.
We must speak again soon.
love,
Edward
She reflects on their email relationship, now spanning twelve years if you don’t count the missing five. When she wants to tell him something she finds email the best medium, even now. She knows the phone will distract him from whatever he is doing. Email can be dealt with at a convenient time, or even ignored. Taryn says even emails should be rationed but Marianne has always written to him straight away when something of interest enters her sphere.
To: Edward Harvey
From: Marianne Hayward
Date: 17th August 2012, 20.04
Subject: Population Issues
Dear Edward,
They’re banging on in the news about building more homes to cope with the UK’s burgeoning population – now at 62 million, and that’s only those we know about.
As usual no mention of trying to halt the people explosion. Your documentary is ever more relevant.
Looking forward to Scilly!
love,
Mari
*
To: Marianne Hayward
From: Edward Harvey
Date: 22nd August 2012, 21.08
Subject: Re: Population Issues
Dear Mari,
Today is Earth Overshoot Day. According to the Global Footprint Network, we have spent our natural resource budget for the year. This means we are now in ecological deficit.
love,
Edward
She then receives a call to discuss final arrangements for Scilly. The phone conversation is short and to the point. He rarely chats on the phone. Marianne suspects it is how he manages to do so much. But he ends by saying, ‘I’m looking forward to spending time with you again,’ and she echoes the words back at him.
To: Edward Harvey
From: Marianne Hayward
Date: 24th August 2012, 11.21