Summer Daze

by Renee Porter

  El looked back and forth between me and Marshall. She sighed heavily and stood, placing her hands on her hips. “Well, I guess I know when I’m not wanted.” She gave a tight smile and passed by me with a simple, “it was good seeing you, Jay.” She tried a smile at Marshall who pinched his nose at her and then, El was gone.

  “What the hell? You know her?” Marshall was on me quicker than white on rice. I moved passed him trying to catch up to El but instead was halted by Marshalls hand around my arm. “Nope. You’re not going after her.”

  “Marshall. Come on, you don’t know.”

  “Honey, I know better than you think.” At Marshall’s look everything clicked into place.

  I pointed at him and then at El and by association, Daniel Branson. “That’s the guy?!” Marshall looked heartbroken immediately, and then I really understood. “And El is the girl.” Marshall tried to look anywhere but me.

  “Yeah, she is, isn’t she?” Marshall knew about the one girl that took my heart away. I had never told him exactly who it was, but in this moment he had figured it out.

  I grabbed his hand that was still placed on my arm and squeezed. Right now, my best friend needed me more than El. “How about we close up shop and get some coffee.” It was an understanding that both of us were going to delve into things we never meant to say to one another. Either because it was too hard, or too secretive. But we both knew, that tonight, our friendship would be sealed forever.

  Chapter 20

  After closing the shop, we went next door and found a small booth in the corner. People around us laughed and spoke loudly, while Marshall and I huddled close like we had a million secrets. I held onto my tea as Marshall sipped from his scalding latte. To him, pain was something to numb the hurt. I however, needed something a little stronger. Too bad Starbucks didn’t sell whiskey.

  “So, it was Daniel…” I thought for a second and realized no one would understand who I was talking about unless I used him in conjunction with El. Marshall’s eyes widened but then realized the same thing. He nodded.

  “I was with him for a long time, you know that.”

  “But, you were always fond of her that’s what I don’t understand.”

  Marshall nodded. “I was…I am,” he corrected himself. “I really do love her music. She’s so relevant to this day and age and to what we go through. She’s bi,” he looked at me knowingly, “which totally brought her to another level. And I never really thought she was the problem, until I saw her.” Marshall looked like he had scalded his throat. “Oh god, I was such an ass. It’s not her fault. It’s just, when I saw her I realized she was the reason we weren’t together.” Marshall’s eyes started to tear and I put my hand on his, rubbing his knuckles softly.

  He cleared his throat and shook his head. “It’s not her fault. It’s his. He wasn’t ready to be out and I wasn’t ready to hide a relationship that I wanted to shout from the rooftop.” Marshall kept shaking his head. “And then, next thing I know he’s telling me he found someone that would help him out of this mess and I find out it’s some girl in a band…gosh. I fell in love with her music because I was so obsessed with who he was seeing. I’m such an idiot.”

  I shook my head, not wanting him to be self-inflicting this hurt. “You’re not an idiot, Marshall. It’s…” I took a breath. Not too many people knew about me and El. The only people I was still in touch with was Justin and Bryce every now and then. The only constant who knew was my mother, but she had sworn not to bring it up too often. “It’s hard to be with someone in the public eye.”

  Marshall’s gaze softened and he squeezed my hand. “You and her all this time,” he took a sip of his coffee. “No wonder why you’re ruined. Even I hate to say it but, she’s gorgeous.” I didn’t deny it. I nodded as I exhaled a breath of stress.

  “El,” I paused and looked around, “Eleanor was a friend first. Then my first of everything and then not there at all.” I shrugged my shoulders as Marshall waited for me to say my piece. “There is something with her. She always shows up at the most random times and…” I thought for a second and wondered why El had shown up. And how Marshall knew Daniel and…” I looked up suddenly into his bronze eyes and he knew I knew. I pointed at him with my mouth agape. “You asked him to come to the store. You asked him to sponsor my product.” I was louder than I had wanted to be and ducked when I found too many patrons looking at our table. Lowering my voice I glared at my best friend. “How could you do that?”

  “Like I knew that she was the one?”

  I shook my head as I forced my frustration down. “No, she isn’t the one.” I forced out, and was extremely confident of that phrase. Although Marshall didn’t seem to confident. He gave me the ‘look’ that said I was full of shit but I didn’t back down.

  “You needed help. I knew that Daniel was in town so I called his manager. We’re friends.” Marshall shrugged. “It was worth a shot.”

  I took a second to understand what Marshall had done. If we had been switched, I couldn’t say that I would be more than willing to call El to keep his business from failing. My own pride would have gotten the best of me. Plus, he didn’t know that El was my girl.

  I bit my lip. Not my girl. Not now. Maybe not even then.

  “I’m sorry. I’m sure it was difficult to even make the call.” I took the last sip of my tea and took a look at the open menu to make sure they didn’t actually sell whiskey.

  “You think it would’ve been, but it wasn’t.”

  His words shocked me but then I understood completely. Their relationship must have been very deep and very comfortable. Maybe he even considered Daniel a best friend? Then, something else clicked and my life had true meaning. Even I knew that Daniel was gay. I had called it from the moment I met him and the way El said boyfriend…my eyes got a far away look and I slapped my hand on the table. Marshall looked at me as if I was crazy and even some of the patrons in the shop, but I knew I wasn’t. Well, not that crazy. I would bring them back together, and only one person could help me.

  Chapter 21

  I had called El but it had gone straight to a disconnect service message. It seemed as though she didn’t keep her old cell phone number but that didn’t stop me. I called Justin who just so happened to be on again with Madison and gave me El’s direct number.

  I stared down at the numbers on my cell and hovered over the ‘call’ button. This was going to be the call. The one that changed everything- for my friend. I had to keep thinking that. Because this was for Marshall, not for me. Even when Daniel realized it was better living in the open as an out actor than in the closet, El could very well not decide to be with me. I shook my head. If Marshall could make the call for me, I could make the call for Marshall.

  “Hello?” Oh, I hadn’t even realized I hit the button.

  “El?” That was smooth, Danley.

  “Jay?” It was as if we had transported years back. The voice over the line calmed me and I was finally able to relax.

  “Hey, it’s me, yes. I got your new number from Madison.”

  “You’re still in touch?”

  I didn’t want to talk about Madison but we ended up getting off tangent and talking about how Justin and Madison were actually perfect for one another. Only those two could handle each other.

  “It reminds me of…” El broke off in a momentary lapse of judgement as she realized who she was talking to. “Hey, what was with your friend Marshall anyway?”

  It always amazed me how El could let things roll off her shoulders. Only to bring them back up again.

  “That’s actually why I was calling.” El grew quiet as I explained the situation. I expected her to deny everything. I expected her to say that she and Daniel were in love and planning on getting married, but instead El was quiet.

  “So, that’s the guy.” She said. And for the life of me, I wondered if Daniel knew that I was the girl. And then I shook my head because that would mean I was a larger part of El’s life that described a full s
tory. And I don’t think I was that girl.

  “Yes. It’s him. So, will you help?”

  El breathed out heavily. “I can’t.”

  “What?”

  “I can’t Jay.” I could see her shaking her head in my mind’s eye. “It’s not my place. Dan, he’s not ready.”

  “What about you?” I asked.

  “Me?” El sounded flabbergasted that anyone would even find her feelings mattered.

  “Yes, you. What are you going to do? Cover for him until he’s ready?”

  “I’m…” El stuttered and I wondered at that moment what she was really thinking. “I’m bad at love, Jay. You know that…” I gripped the phone and looked up at the sky. How was it that there were billions of stars in the sky but only one focused in my line of sight?

  “Will you think about it, El?” I forced my eyes closed so I could just listen. Because for all I knew, this conversation could be our last.

  “Yes. Of course, I will.”

  It was sincere.

  And that was the only thing I knew as of that moment.

  Chapter 22

  It had been days since I heard from El. And those days felt longer than the years that passed between us not speaking.

  The store’s problem of not hitting any traffic was still not a problem any longer. In fact, somehow, Daniel Branson was able to get our best products the second they came out. I didn’t think anything of it though. I was still allowing my staff to ‘man’ the shop as I took most of time in the back ordering more products and staying out of the lime light. I interviewed for local stations and newspapers but for the most part, I allowed Daniel’s donning of our clothes to be my publicity. Now that I knew he was with El just for the publicity himself, it was easier for me to not think of him as anything but a way to market my brand.

  I also couldn’t shake Natalia from my grasp. The woman was more than a thorn in my side. She constantly called and asked me to meet her for lunch or dinner but I could care less. Kaycee believed it was because she liked me. I believed she was in hot water that the local-owned store was kicking their national brand’s ass.

  The phone rang and I considered for a moment to let it go to voicemail. I was exhausted and although I had wished for the publicity I knew that the caller on the other line wanted something from me. I hesitated for a moment and then, let it go to voicemail. I double checked and noticed that a message wasn’t left.

  I continued to write an email to my local distributer, asking for a rush on our most current fad. I hit ‘send’ when my text message pinged.

  Okay.

  I looked at it once, then twice. The number looked slightly familiar but I couldn’t remember why.

  We’ll be there in twenty. Make sure Marshall is available. See you soon.

  And then, I remembered. My heart started to race as I picked up my phone, hovering over the letters. El was going along with the plan? I shook my head to myself as I typed out a response and stood.

  I had to see this through.

  I entered my store as walked by the countless groups of young teenagers. I smiled and showed a group where they could find the worn out jeans seen in Daniel’s latest movie. Or one of the hats that he was wearing on one of his red carpet interviews. All the while, I was keeping my eyes on the front door. And then, hand in hand, I saw them in slow motion. I stood as the double glass doors opened. The cool air conditioner acted as a vacuum, and somehow as a time machine, as the seconds seemed to pass by slower. In slow motion, El and Daniel opened the double doors, the wind blowing her hair, the time slowing around him.

  His eyes stuck on Marshall, my own stayed on El.

  “Hey,” I tried my best to remain cool and collected. Daniel broke his eyes from the back of the register and met my own.

  “Ah, my favorite person.” Daniel hugged me and kissed me on both cheeks. His eyes flickered between me and Marshall and I couldn’t help but smile.

  My own humor shone through at El who held my hand in greeting.

  “Let me know if you two need anything.” I winked at them both and let them go wander. I watched as El carefully let go of Dan’s hand as he neared the register, carefully asking Marshall if he had a certain shirt in a larger size.

  El smiled and winked at me, and I seemed to melt right then and there.

  It didn’t take long for people to recognize the pair and for an hour they stood signing autographs and taking photos. It wasn’t until closing time that they decided to call it a night and gracefully thanked me (and a certain staff member) for our hospitality.

  As I closed up shop and saw Marshall off, I couldn’t help but think that today had gone just as I had hoped. It was subtle, yet unassuming. Marshall had figured that Daniel was there to shop, and I had allowed it for more publicity.

  “It went well, don’t you think?” I turned as I locked the shop to find El just as beautiful as she had been moments before I saw her leave.

  “I do, yes.” I smiled as I pocketed my keys. “What are you still doing here?”

  El tilted her head and smiled. “Well, you know Justin is in town?” I nodded, knowing my cousin had already called asking to join him at Madison’s beach house that night.

  “Madison is having a ‘party’ so to say…” she said looking at her feet. I couldn’t help but smile.

  “Are you driving or me?” El looked at me and rolled her eyes.

  “Come on, Jay. I’m famous.” She threw her hand up in the air. “Marshall is driving.”

  ***

  There was something in the air.

  I couldn’t describe it as I sat next to El in the backseat of Marshall’s Pontiac. I watched as he easily spoke with Dan, his nickname, not mine.

  I eyed El in my peripheral vision. Her own eyes stuck to her window, looking out across the infinite expanse of ocean. A single light glistened on the horizon.

  I wondered if she saw it as something she wanted to go to or something she wanted to take her away.

  We pulled up to the familiar driveway and I exited the car. I watched as Marshall wiped his hands on his jeans and gave me a nervous smile. I gave him the same as his attention was taken away from me.

  “Are you okay?” El asked easily beside me. I nodded wondering if I was telling the truth or not. Just the scenery was enough for me to want to run and hide.

  All four of us entered the house unannounced as Marshall and Daniel stood together mirroring my own stance with El.

  I followed El subconsciously as she moved to the back of the house. The bon fire was already a full blaze as Justin, Madison, Summer, Bryce and Langston sat around it. For a second, I almost thought we were back in high school. The years that passed were only a dream and I still had all the time in the world to make things right with El.

  But Marshall and Dan where there. And El was older and more beautiful than she had ever looked. Justin was sitting across from Madison (off again) and Langston and Bryce were sitting awfully close to each other (on again?).

  “Vodka?” Bryce picked up the handle between them and I smiled. Good old, Bryce. Langston shook his head as he sipped on a water. I pulled two beers from the ice bucket and handed one to El with a smile. Marshall looked at Dan and handed him a water and took a water for himself. I think there was more to this than Marshall had let on.

  “Gang’s all here, plus a few.” Bryce said with a giggle from Summer. She looked over to me and El and held up her own glass of wine. “To friends, right?”

  I watched as her right hand glistened softly as she raised it toward her mouth.

  Summer’s story was not the fairy tale as we thought it would be. She had married young only to lose just as young. Her husband saw the bad side of drug abuse and ended up as part of statistic. The young widow was doing better but her eyes were dulled with the pain she saw in her young life.

  “Right.” We rang back. I clinked my bottle with El’s and then Marshall and Dan’s bottle. We sat, talking about old times and new, not knowing exactly who everyone was anym
ore but understanding that we were settling back into the common habit.

  “So, El and Daniel are famous and in love,” Langston said after a while. I rolled my eyes along with the sound of the waves in the background. I’m not sure how Langston always knew what not to say when I was around.

  “And Jayce is still hiding her love for me,” the group chuckled as Langston blew a kiss in my direction. I stuck my finger down my throat in show of defiance. Looking over at El, she burrowed her eyes into Langston who shrugged his shoulder.

  He continued to catch us all up on what everyone was doing. Langston was co-founder of a rehab clinic that catered to the wealthy and addicted. On one hand, it was great that he had found his calling in life. He didn’t drink anymore, didn’t do drugs and tried to lead a healthy lifestyle. On the other hand, his new addiction seemed to be money and you could see that a mile away. Langston sported a 24k gold necklace which shined bright against his neck. He boasted it only took him two months to afford the necklace. If I didn’t know him any better I would say he was full of shit.

  Madison and Justin were indeed off again. I didn’t believe that they would ever be ‘on again’ either. Seeing as Madison was carrying the child which was a result from a one night stand. And Summer? Well, we already knew that Summer had some of her own issues to deal with, along with Bryce, who seemed to be more than willing to help her through.

  And that really left me, in the end. Aside from the joke that Langston supplied, I was fairly successful, with a beautiful unit of family and friends who supported me. I wasn’t where I wanted to be, now that I think about it, when I thought of my future as a kid. I wanted to have someone to share my life with, but I realized that I was still young.

  But what if that person already had shown up and I let them go? What if I was destined to be alone forever? What if in forty years I was still working behind the counter of my shop, alone, and still regretting the only bad decision I ever made in life?