The Bears of Blackrock, Books 1 - 3: The Fenn Clan

by Michaela Wright

  Kirk pressed his lips between his teeth. “Are you telling me because you want to break the streak, or -?”

  “What?! Oh, uh – I mean.”

  Kirk chuckled, stepping away from the counter to come toward her. He was smiling that beautiful smile of his, laughing at her expense as he approached with a playful air that seemed to threaten tickling or teasing – with something more.

  Kirk pulled her in, squeezing her to him as he kissed the top of her head, playfully.

  “I would be honored to ruin your record, if you were so inclined. My own isn’t as impressive, but it’s nothing to balk at.”

  “What do you mean? How long has it been for -”

  “Five years. Give or take a few months.”

  Joe visibly exhaled. “That surprises me.”

  He looked down at her, smiling. “Well, I’m flattered, I think.”

  The two of them stood there, Kirk’s arms enveloped around her. She wanted to settle there, or to provoke him to more, but she felt frozen. Her desire for him was overwhelming, but her trepidation would win now, every time. It was easier to pretend it wasn’t more before waking in his arms that morning. It was easier to pretend it wasn’t more when Carson was just a memory. Yet, now she’d chosen Kirk over running. She’d chosen to stay with him when logic told her to run as far from Blackrock, Maine as her tiny bank account could take her. Now he’d know damn well it meant more, and she was crippled by the knowledge.

  “So, do you want me to?”

  “What?” She asked, startled.

  “Break your streak.”

  Joe turned her eyes down to his chest, the hairs there just visible at the opening of his flannel shirt.

  She swallowed. “Yes.”

  Kirk’s embrace changed just so, his hands moving down her back to pull her against him in a different way, her hips against his. He lowered his face to hers, his lips grazing her cheek as he moved to her ear. She shivered against him, her fingers clutching at his shirt.

  “Are you sure you want this?” He asked, his arms still strong around her.

  Joe searched his face, feeling both terrified and wanting. “Don’t you?”

  He snorted in a half laugh. “You have no idea, Joe.”

  He kissed the crook of her jaw, and she whimpered softly, betraying her nerves and desire. He held her tighter, walking her toward the living room. Kirk slumped down onto the couch, pulling her on top of him as she had been nights before in the apartment over his garage. The position felt familiar, but the world had changed since then. Somehow kneeling over him in the light of day felt too vulnerable. She let Kirk caress her there, pulling her face down to kiss him as he settled beneath her, his hands firmly planted on her ass. He pushed and pulled her in the same familiar rhythm they’d found in the truck, but this time, she didn’t engage. She couldn’t. Damn it, why couldn’t she?

  “Is something wrong?” He asked in a half whisper.

  “No, no. It’s fine.”

  The rhythm continued, his kisses surface and teasing as he seemed to wait for her to take control. She’d done so before, climbing into his lap with heated abandon more than once. Yet, now she looked down at him with new fear, wanting desperately to make him hers, but too afraid to take him. He squeezed her ass hard enough to draw a whimper.

  Her mind reeled, memory after memory roaring to the surface of the last time she’d let a man have her like this. Not Kirk, not in the cab of his truck. That had been a stolen moment; a sudden assault of something likened to teenage hormones. This was different. This was intimacy, free and unhindered. He could have her in any way, as long as he wanted, no interruptions or limitations. Somehow, this new freedom scared her.

  She pulled from his kisses again, faltering there as he stared up at her, confused.

  “Joe, sweetheart. If something is wrong, just tell me.”

  She grimaced, angry with herself.

  Give over to it, Josephine! You want him more than you’ve ever wanted anyone. Stop being such a coward.

  She remembered Carson’s face, the way he leered at her, played the blade of his knife over her collar bone as she sat there, helpless to him. She cringed and convulsed with each vision, all of them fresh now, as though seeing his face again would force her to relive those moments anew. Damn it, she couldn’t let him ruin something so good. She couldn’t let his return stop her from feeling something again. She deserved to feel something good, didn’t she? She deserved to be happy!

  “Sweetheart? We can wait. I’m in no rush.”

  Joe’s face contorted in both frustration and affection. Why didn’t Kirk just take her? She couldn’t lead now, not anymore. She needed him to be in charge. Why didn’t he understand that?

  She lifted from his lap and walked through the kitchen into the garage. She was only half aware of what she was doing, but the fervor drove her on. She searched the shelves of his garage for her prize, and found it tucked under a pair of kayak oars.

  She marched back into the house, finding Kirk halfway through the kitchen, following her with a concerned look on his face.

  “Are you alright?”

  Joe pressed the bundle to his chest, and held her breath. Her hands were shaking. He looked down, taking the bundle of rope from her hands.

  “I need you to use this,” she said, her voice trembling as she spoke.

  Kirk’s startled expression betrayed worry and reserve, but she pressed on.

  “Please don’t judge me. I can’t explain it, but I just – I need this. Ok? Please.”

  Kirk held the bundle of rope in front of her, running his thumb over the knots as he mulled it over. “I’d never judge you, sweetheart, but – Are you sure? You want me to tie you up?”

  She swallowed, frowning. Hearing him say it made her feel like some damaged, troubled thing. Yet, she did. She needed Kirk Fenn to take her in hand and show her that he was in charge. She needed him to take control away, and somehow, replace the troubled memories she harbored. She feared even this wouldn’t work, that she’d find herself shirking away from his touch, unable to be open with him, all because of the crimes of a terrible man over a decade before.

  Damn it, no. She wouldn’t let Carson have that power anymore.

  Please Kirk, take it back for me, she thought.

  “Please,” she said, fighting not to betray too much emotion in her voice.

  He squeezed the rope in his hand, taking a deep breath. Then he took her hand in his and led her down the hall to his bedroom.

  Her stomach coiled into nervous knots, instantly.

  Kirk didn’t look at her again as he led her into the bedroom, the room dark despite the time of day. Kirk released his hold on her, turned for the door of the bedroom, and tossed a stretch of rope over the bedroom door. He then slammed the door shut over it, leaving the ends of the rope dangling there before her. He turned back to her and in a sudden, deliberate gesture, took hold of her like some weightless thing, and pulled her toward the door. He pressed her back against it, looming over her there, his dark eyes blazing down in a sudden fervor that almost frightened her. Before she could find words to speak, he took her hands in his and pinned them over her head. She was tied there a moment later.

  “You’re sure this is what you want?” He asked, grabbing hold of her hips and pulling them into him.

  She shuddered against him, almost unable to form the words. “I’m sure.”

  He nodded, then took hold of the button of her jeans, unfastening them and yanking them down with enough force to make her lose footing. Her tied hands were all that kept her upright. She lifted her feet up one by one obediently, letting him take off her jeans. Then he leaned in there, letting his lips graze against her thigh. She whimpered at the sudden touch. His breath came in soft bursts as he chuckled to himself.

  Kirk ran his hands up the length of her thighs, hooking his fingers into the waistband of her underwear. She gasped, twisting there against the door as though she might dislodge him, deter him from his purpose.r />
  “You’re tied, beautiful. There’s really no point in fighting, now is there?”

  She exhaled in shaky bursts, turning her face away as his lips grazed against her thigh again, drawing closer to her sex with each moment.

  Kirk took hold of her hips and turned her suddenly, forcing her backside toward him. He groaned softly as his hands moved over her backside, squeezing and kneading her between soft kisses. His lips were warm on her skin, his hands big and rough from years of work. He grabbed the waistband of her underwear and slid them down over her ass, exposing her to him fully. She was trembling now, pulling at the knots that held her wrists, as though she might climb up the door and away from him. Her underwear were at her ankles before she could say a word, and Kirk’s face was pressed to her ass, his hands gripping her by the hips. He opened his mouth, and bit her.

  She shrieked, squirming in his grasp, but unable to free herself. He groaned there, and she could feel the vibration of it through his lips. He moved to the other buttock, grabbing and squeezing her roughly as he clamped his teeth into her again. She made to cried out, but Kirk was on his feet, his mouth at her shoulder, biting her there as well, as his hands moved up the front of her, taking hold of her breasts. Her breath caught instantly, overwhelmed by sensation and desire. He rooted into the crook of her neck, forcing her head aside as he kissed her jaw.

  He pressed his lips to her ear. “God, you are so beautiful.”

  She closed her eyes, feeling exposed by these words. He slid his hands up her shirt, unfastening her bra before taking hold of her breasts again, groaning with pleasure as his fingers played at her nipples. She could barely breathe.

  “Do you like the way that feels, Josephine?”

  Hearing him say her name in that hushed, lustful tone made her knees buckle beneath her. She steadied herself as he grabbed her ass again, squeezing so roughly she felt she might bruise. She whimpered.

  He kissed her jaw again. “Do you like being helpless to me?”

  She couldn’t respond. Her mind was racing, darting between dark memories and the newness of Kirk’s touch. She wasn’t sure if she liked being helpless, but somehow, she liked being helpless to him.

  “Shall I take you right here, then?” He asked, his voice barely more than a whisper. “Shall I have my way with you?”

  Joe’s eyes were clamped shut, as though she might hide from this feeling of exposure. Kirk tugged at her hips, pulling her backside against him, letting her feel him, hard beneath his jeans. She couldn’t answer him.

  Kirk reached back, and she listened to the sound of him unbuttoning his jeans. A moment later, he took hold of her hips again, and almost tentatively pulled her back against him. His hard cock was pressed to her ass now. She gasped, still unable to make a sound.

  “I want to hear you, Josephine,” he whispered, his lips pressed to her ear again. She took a breath, searching for the courage to speak, but his hand moved across her belly now, sliding downward as he took hold of her breast with the other hand. His fingers slid between her legs, finding the wetness there and groaning in appreciation. She whimpered again, shock and desperation crashing together as his fingers began to move.

  “Do you want me to stop?” He asked, though his fingers continued to move with increasing purpose. A gasp caught in throat, but she couldn’t respond. She shook her head and his pace doubled.

  Joe cried out.

  Kirk gave a wicked chuckle. “Damn it, I want to hear you.”

  With that, he grabbed her by the hips, spun her around to face him, and before she could wholly take in the sight of him – his naked skin, his cock at attention – Kirk dropped to his knees, grabbed her right leg by the ankle, and yanked it up over his shoulder. Joe barely had time to scream before Kirk pressed his face between her legs with enough force to slam her back into the door. His whole mouth pressed to her, open and eager, his tongue darting with force and purpose. The shock of what was happening hit her, and her heart pounded in her chest. No one had touched her like this in so long – perhaps ever. Joe tried to recoil from him, but he simply gripped her hips, pressing his mouth harder. He growled there between her legs, devouring her with such delight, she couldn’t bring herself to protest. Kirk’s fingers began to play at her sex, and for a moment, she found herself writhing into him, her body begging him onward. He glanced up at her, his dark eyes betraying a smile as his fingers slid inside her. She cried out his name. Joe wanted nothing more than to grab him by the hair, press him to her, but her nerves would never let her, even if her hands were free. Instead her hips moved against him, thrusting toward him in her preferred rhythm. He matched it instantly, his fingers moving deeper as she urged him on.

  “Don’t stop,” she whispered, and the words startled her. Kirk responded with a satisfied groan, his tongue moving over her with purpose. Her body was responding, her muscles tensing around him. He seemed to notice, and the knowledge only inspired him further. Joe watched him there, writhing against his mouth, aching for release. Her body tensed and his fingers slammed into her, tripling their speed. Joe cried out in a long, desperate scream as her body succumbed to him. Kirk’s movements didn’t slow until she was breathless and limp. Then he was on his feet, his fingers hooked behind her knee, pulling her leg around him.

  He brushed his hand over his face before leaning into her. “Are you ready for me?”

  Joe gasped. Oh god, it was happening.

  She nodded.

  “Tell me,” he said. “I want to hear you say you want it.”

  She gasped, terrified to speak. She couldn’t look at him, let alone speak with that dark, affectionate gaze just inches away, looming over her as she stood there helpless and exposed. She took a deep breath, hooking her knee behind him, as though he might let her body speak for her. His cock slipped between her legs, and she almost whined in frustration.

  “I can’t,” she finally said.

  Kirk grabbed her hips, pulling her against him, letting her feel him slide against the wetness he’d left behind. “Yes you can. Tell me you want me.”

  Joe closed her eyes tight. She felt helpless. She wanted him more than words could express, but somehow she couldn’t form the words – she couldn’t bare herself like that. Her body was his to have, her skin unshielded, but her heart – she was terrified to expose that, and even just the words ‘I want you,’ felt too weighty to say.

  Kirk let her leg fall from his grasp, his hands coming up to her face. He took her face in his hands and turned her toward him. “Look at me, Josephine.”

  She felt the urge to cry bubbling from somewhere deep within.

  Please don’t make me do this, she thought. Just take me. Just make the dark thoughts go away and take me. Don’t make me feel. Don’t make me admit what I feel.

  “Look at me.”

  Her throat grew tight, but she opened her eyes, meeting Kirk’s soft, loving gaze, just inches over her, his rough hands cradling her face. He stared into her eyes a moment, his thumb brushing over her lips.

  “I will never hurt you, Josephine.”

  Joe’s heart ruptured, and her eyes welled up and spilled over. She’d lived a decade in fear – lived in constant terror that the darkness of her past would find her and take everything. She’d seen those fears realized in the corner booth of the Blackrock Tavern just the day before, but there in the dark of Kirk Fenn’s bedroom, she heard a vow of safety, that all would be well, and despite years of knowing nothing but fear – she believed him.

  He watched the tears come, brushing them away without a word. “I will never let anyone hurt you. Never again.”

  A sob caught in her throat, and Kirk enveloped her in his arms. He grabbed the doorknob and yanked the door open, loosing the ropes that held her there. Her arms fell over his head, and he collected her up in his arms, carrying her to the bed. She clung to him like moss to a tree, her arms and legs clamped around him with such desperate need that her strength surprised her. He lowered her down onto the bed, his body still be
tween her legs, his lips at her ear, then her cheek, kissing her softly. Kirk knelt over her a moment, untying her wrists before lowering himself over her, pressing his lips to hers with such passion, it nearly stole her breath. She couldn’t hold him tight enough if she’d all he strength in the world.

  She lost her fingers in the tendrils of his hair, clutching him to her, kissing him back as though his lips were the only source of oxygen. Finally, she pulled from his kiss, breathless.

  “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything, Kirk.”

  His eyes went wide for just a moment before his lips returned to hers, devouring her mouth with the same passion he’d devoured her sex. She melted beneath him. Then she felt his body shift over her, and an instant later, the hardness of him found the softness of her. He pressed himself between her legs and slid inside, unhindered. Her body contoured to him, instantly. Joe cried out against his lips, half in shock and pain, but as his body began to move over her, the friction between them overwhelmed her. He felt as though he’d been made for her, and she for him.

  “Oh please!” She cried, but his lips found hers again, unwilling to relinquish this kiss. She pulled at him, urging him on as his hips moved with purpose. She reached down to his backside, digging her nails into the soft flesh there, pulling him onward. He growled into her mouth.

  Finally, he broke the kiss, lifting himself over her. He loomed there, the muscles in his arms and stomach tensing as he thrust into her, his speed and force quickly building. His curls were wild about his head, and his eyes were focused on her. She felt that same exposure, that same vulnerability at being seen, yet she didn’t look away. He was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, and despite the tightness in her chest, she watched him, relishing in his lustful expressions.

  “Ah, fuck,” he whispered, shifting his knees on the bed to drill deeper.

  She gasped, crying out in desperation. She wanted to feel him succumb in her arms. She hoisted her legs higher, urging him onward. He hunched over her then, grinding into her as his breaths became hoarse and ragged.

  “Yes. Yes!” She screamed, her body tightening around him again.