Becoming Mrs. Right

by Sherri L. Lewis

  Shauntae put Jumping the Broom in the DVD player. She wanted to practice talking proper while she was good and awake. As soon as the movie started, the wannabe Rastaman sitting next to her woke up and leaned closer to her.

  “Does this look like the IMAX theatre, nigga? This is a private viewing. Get back on your side of the seat.”

  His lusty grin quickly turned into a frown. “Oh, it’s like that?”

  “Yeah, it’s like that. Leaning all over here. You need to try to be leaning on a tube of toothpaste instead of trying to be all up in my face.”

  His frown turned into a snarl and Shauntae wondered if he might be somebody who could do her some harm. “What, nigga? Don’t even think of looking at me the wrong way. You clearly don’t know who I am. If my man even knew you was sitting by me, you would be dead before the day is over.” Shauntae looked him up and down with a murderous glare. “Forget about him. I could do you myself.” He needed to believe that she was crazy so he would leave her alone.

  He got up and moved to an empty seat a few rows back. Shauntae was glad for the extra room and for the fact that he wouldn’t be sitting there looking at her crazy when she stopped the video to repeat Angela Bassett’s lines over and over until she sounded normal talking like that.

  After watching the movie and talking proper for almost three hours straight, Shauntae was tired and her brain hurt. But she felt like she had made some progress learning how to talk like Mrs. Gary Jackson. She pulled out her phone.

  Gary answered on the second ring. “Hey, honey love. Give me the good news.”

  Honey love? This dude was sappier than she thought. “Mama’s tests all came out good. It’s like a miraculous recovery or something. Baby, your prayers really worked.”

  “Praise God. I knew they would. So when are you coming home?”

  Shauntae hoped he didn’t hear the hum of the bus. “I’ll be on a plane day after tomorrow. I want to get Mama home and good and settled before I leave.”

  “I can’t wait to see you and my baby. “

  “Aw, I can’t wait to see you either. I love you.” It was the first time she’d said it first. Looked like the movies was helping.

  “I love you too, baby.”

  Shauntae was about to hang up when Gary said, “Wait a minute. I have some good news of my own. My other prayers have been answered. My lawyer called and said my appeal for partial custody of the kids is going to go through. Everything my ex did to desecrate my character didn’t work. Soon I will, or we will, be able to have my kids two days a week. Isn’t that great news?”

  Shauntae’s mouth froze. Partial custody of the kids?

  “Honey love? Did you hear what I said? We’re going to be a family. Not completely the way I wanted, but definitely better than before. And when the new baby comes, there’ll be a child in the house all the time. And soon after, we can try for another one.”

  After hours of studying the right way to talk this man, Shauntae couldn’t find one word to say.

  “Shauntae?”

  She pinched herself. “Oh, Gary. God is so good. God is amazing and great.” One of her grandmother’s favorite religious phrases popped into her mind. “Wonders to behold.” It sounded funny coming out of her mouth.

  “I know. I feel like God is working out everything and restoring everything that’s been lost. I knew you’d be happy about the kids. I know it will be a lot of work when the new baby gets here, but you’re going to be an amazing mother.”

  After they hung up, Shauntae sat in shock. Two kids? Two days a week? She thought of having to keep Brianna every weekend once Devon put her out of the house. Remembering to feed her, bathe her, change her diapers, and wash her clothes on a regular was too much. And then when Brianna got older, Shauntae had to listen to her talk all day about all sorts of silly kid stuff. She always wanted to go kid places and do kid things. Wanted to watch stupid kid shows on television.

  The thought of it gave her a headache. And there would be two of them? And instead of being at her own place where Devon couldn’t watch her and judge everything she did, she would be with Gary’s kids in Gary’s house with Gary. This was a nightmare. A test that there was no way she could pass.

  But she wasn’t going down without a fight. As soon as she got to Atlanta, she’d have to get all the seasons of The Cosby Show and study Clair Huxtable until she was her. She’d spend all her free hours watching The Disney Channel and Nickelodeon to learn all she could about kids and family kinda stuff.

  Instead of taking a nap like she had planned, Shauntae put in The Preacher’s Wife. She needed to get this churchy woman thing down. She couldn’t be using her grandmother’s old-timey phrases. And maybe she would have to learn to do the holy dance. Whatever it took. She was going to do anything and everything she could to become Mrs. Gary Jackson and finally have the life she wanted.

  Four

  “Come on, Shauntae. I don’t know how bad the traffic is gon’ be and we need to get to the airport.” Sherice was getting on Shauntae’s nerves, actin’ all nervous and jumpy like she was the one going to meet Gary.

  Shauntae checked herself in the mirror one last time. Candy had come over to Sherice’s apartment to do her makeup and help her get dressed. It had been three months since Shauntae last saw Gary and she needed to look her best. When Shauntae called ahead to let them know she was coming, Sherice and Candy had gone shopping and picked up some really nice designer clothes and shoes at the Goodwill, Ross, and Marshalls.

  Shauntae knew all this wasn’t for free. Them heifers would be expecting her to slide them a little something on a regular basis once she got settled in Gary’s pockets. And she would. She wouldn’t be like their friend Keosha, who, when she married a bench-riding Atlanta Hawks player, forgot they even existed. Keosha’s dreams of being a NBA wife had came true and even though nobody even knew her man’s name, let alone ever got to see him play, Keosha was living nice.

  She had gotten all high and mighty and changed her name to Kayla. The first time they had attended a party at her house, Kayla complained afterward saying they had embarrassed her in front of the other NBA wives by acting all thirsty. Then, she stopped inviting them over for champagne lunches and out for shopping sprees. Shauntae knew it wouldn’t be long before she didn’t hang with them no more at all.

  But she wasn’t gon’ be like that. She was gon’ take care of her girls as much as possible. Men could come and go, but her girls always had her back.

  “I finished packing the bags,” Candy called out from Sherice’s bedroom. She walked into the bathroom and looked at Shauntae’s reflection in the mirror. “Come on, girl, you look nice. We gotta go. How you gon’ explain it if your man is waiting for you at the airport and you pull up in Sherice’s old, busted car?”

  “Girl, shut up,” Sherice yelled from the kitchen. “Don’t be talking ’bout my car. You don’t be talking about it when you need me to pick you up from the grocery store. Next time I’ma leave yo’ tail on the bus.”

  Shauntae was glad to be back in Atlanta. She had missed hanging with her girls. She hated that Gary lived all the way across town from them. Gas prices was high and she wasn’t sure how often they would get to visit her. When Gary bought her a car, she would visit them all the time. Maybe she could convince him she needed a nanny to take care of the new baby and the other kids. Sherice could come in talking proper and looking nanny-ish and they’d be able to hang out all day.

  “A’ight. I’m ready.” Shauntae came out of the bathroom and struck a pose. “Let’s do this.”

  The three of them piled into Sherice’s car and headed to the airport. There was no traffic, so they got there almost an hour before she had told Gary her plane would land. They decided to park and have a drink to celebrate Shauntae’s new life.

  They went to the bar in the Houlihan’s in the airport atrium and ordered their favorite drinks. Sherice drank a chocolate martini, Candy a Long Island Iced Tea, and Shauntae a pear mojito. They had learned to order
fancy drinks for their rounds at their fancy clubs and bars. They still drank forties when they hung out at the house, though.

  When hers came, Shauntae drank it faster than she usually did. If she was paying, she could sip on a drink for hours. If a man was paying, she could drink a whole lot and hold her liquor better than he could.

  “You nervous?” Candy asked her.

  “A little.” Shauntae looked around for the waitress to order another drink. But then she decided she needed to hold on to her little cash until Gary’s wallet was flowing easy. And since they had already bought her a bunch of clothes and stuff, Shauntae knew better than to ask her girls for some cash. They might have been as low as she was.

  Plus, she needed to have all her senses straight. Two drinks too fast on an empty stomach could have her lips loose and she would forget all the fancy Angela Bassett talk she had worked so hard to learn. Sherice had complimented her on it and had only corrected her a few times since picking her up at the bus station.

  “Why you nervous, girl? You ’bout to have some homecoming sex. That man ain’t had none in three months. Put it on him and he’ll be saying ‘I do’ before next week,” Sherice said. She and Candy slapped hands.

  “Yeah, girl. Do what you do. It’ll be all right.” Candy sipped her drink slowly. She was a lightweight when it came to alcohol, and got real silly, real fast if she didn’t watch herself.

  “It’s not the sexing part I’m worried about. I know how to handle myself in that department. But Gary . . . he’s . . . different.”

  “Girl, a man is a man,” Sherice said. “At the end of the day, they all like sex and you know how to work it, so it ain’t nothing to be scared about.”

  Shauntae looked around at the tables next to them. She loved her girl Sherice, but she always talked too loud in public.

  Candy looked at her real hard. “You scared for real, huh? What’s different about this man that got you all scared?”

  Shauntae shrugged. She didn’t want her girls seeing her all weak.

  Sherice put her hands on her hips. “Stop acting hard. Tell us about the man. We your girls. Ain’t nothing so different about him that the three of us cain’t figure out together.”

  Candy elbowed her in the side. “Come on, girl. Wassup with this man that got you freaked out like you ain’t one of the baddest chicks in Atlanta?”

  Shauntae could always count on her girls to help her out. “Well, he’s real smart like Devon. Maybe even smarter. I know I’m talking better, but what if I don’t know what to say or if I can’t understand what he’s talking about?”

  “Girl, you ain’t that stupid,” Sherice answered. “What could he talk about that you cain’t understand? What he do for a living?”

  “I’m not sure. He always talking about business or something like that.”

  Sherice and Candy looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

  Sherice said, “What I done told you about doing your research? You get so blinded by the dollar signs that you forget to listen. Girl, you betta not mess this up again. You already birthed one child and ain’t got nothing from it.”

  Shauntae could remind Sherice that she had four kids by four different dumb, broke men. Sherice was always falling for some roughneck dude and was stupid enough to have they baby when there was no chance of getting paid.

  Shauntae bit her tongue ’cause she needed Sherice’s help. “I didn’t have much time, remember? We went out a few times, did the deed, went out a few more times, and then I had to leave.”

  “Girl, you supposed to find out that kinda information on the first date. You so . . .” Sherice sucked her teeth. “Anyway, the first thing you do when you get in the car is ask him how business is going. Ask him some smart questions and find out what he does. A’ight?”

  Shauntae nodded. She wasn’t sure what kind of smart questions to ask but didn’t want to let Sherice know that.

  “What kind of food does he like?” Candy asked.

  Sherice interrupted before Shauntae could answer. “I don’t know why you asking that. You know Shauntae can’t cook nothing but fried bologna and Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. And let a good show be on and she’ll burn that.”

  They both cracked up laughing. Shauntae didn’t know if it was the hormones from the baby or what; normally she would have been laughing with them, but today it wasn’t funny. “Forget both of y’all. I’ll figure this out myself.”

  She stood up to grab her bags and leave them sitting there laughing and looking stupid, but she got dizzy and almost fell backward. Candy jumped up and grabbed her before she fell. “What’s wrong wit’ you?”

  “She pregnant, fool,” Sherice snapped. “That happens to pregnant women. Oh, I forgot, you don’t know nothing ’bout that.”

  Candy’s mouth flew open. Shauntae couldn’t believe Sherice had hit that low. Candy had caught a disease when she was young and couldn’t get pregnant. Which meant she could only pull short-term games and could never collect child support.

  Candy put her hands on her hips and got real loud. “Sherice, you always been an evil—”

  “Calm down, girl.” Shauntae moved over to stand in front of Candy. The three of them had got banned from two of Atlanta’s most exclusive restaurants for getting in fights that had started like this. “We supposed to be talking ’bout me, remember?”

  Candy took a deep breath and sat back down. She shot Sherice an evil glare and Shauntae knew they would beef in the car on the way home.

  Sherice glared back at Candy while asking Shauntae, “What do he like to do? What do he do for fun or to relax?” She turned to Shauntae and continued firing questions. “What are his work hours like? Does he come straight home after work? What is his mama like? Where is he from? What kind of clothes does he like to see his woman in? What made him break up with his ex-wife?”

  Shauntae stared at her blankly, not able to answer even one question.

  Sherice shook her head. “See, that’s what’s wrong with you. If I had your face and your body, I wouldn’t be sitting here dumb, broke, and single. I’da been married by now. Or, better still, married, divorced, and then married to someone richer.” Sherice rolled her eyes. “Got all the natural assets but don’t know what to do with no man. Let me be pretty and be able to grow some long hair. Humph.”

  Sherice kept preaching, “You got to get in a man’s head. Know what he likes, what he wants, what makes him happy and sad and mad and all that kinda stuff. Good sex can only take you so far. As much as men love them some sex, they can get sex anywhere. You want to keep him? You got to make him feel special, like he’s the king of the world. Listen to everythang he says. And then be everythang he wants and everythang he needs. If you can make him happy and keep him happy, he’ll take care of you for life.” Sherice finished off her drink with flourish.

  Shauntae and Candy sat mesmerized after listening to Sherice’s wisdom. They somehow forgot about the fact that she hadn’t successfully caught and kept a man herself.

  “Looka here. This what we gon’ do.” Sherice leaned in close and Candy and Shauntae leaned in to listen to her. “For now, you ask as many questions about him as you can. Act real interested and impressed with all his answers. Write everythang down and then we gon’ go over it and figure out how you need to be. A’ight?”

  Shauntae nodded, then thought for a second. “What if he asks me something and I don’t know how to answer? Or what if I say something stupid?”

  Sherice pointed to Shauntae’s belly. “You got the best excuse for the next few months. If anything goes wrong, fake sick, fast as you can. Thinking about his baby will make him forget whatever dumb junk you do. Or start crying and blame it on your hormones. You can use that even after the baby is born for a few months.”

  Candy stared at Sherice. “How you know so much?”

  Sherice shrugged with a real arrogant look on her face.

  Candy said, “I guess I should ask, how come you know so much but you still broke and single like us
?” She busted out laughing.

  Sherice’s mouth fell open. “You know what, heffa? The reason you cain’t catch no man is cause of them ugly buckteeth and them skinny legs of yours. You need to try to date a dentist and a trainer.”

  Candy stood up, her voice getting all loud again. “Let me tell you about you, skank. You always be busting on the fact that I cain’t have no children, but you be popping ’em out and cain’t keep ’em. You talking about how Shauntae ain’t got nothing to show for Brianna, but you got four children in the system and no child support. In fact, we all know you be puttin’ money on your last man’s books at the prison. So the next time you wanna—”

  “Hey!” Shauntae stood up between them. She looked around the bar at the people staring at them. “Stop all that. Why y’all gotta act crazy in public?” Shauntae could almost understand why Keosha/Kayla had kicked them to the curb.

  “Oh, you gon’ act all new ’cause you got a fancy man?” Sherice asked. “You be acting crazy in public worse than anybody.”

  Shauntae looked down at her watch. “Oh. It’s time. This is what time my flight was supposed to land.”

  The argument was instantly forgotten. Sherice said, “Okay, call him and tell him your flight landed and you on your way to baggage claim.”

  Shauntae couldn’t believe her hands were shaking as she pulled out her cell phone and speed dialed his number.

  When Gary answered, he said, “Baby?” like it was a question.

  Shauntae frowned, hoping he hadn’t forgotten that her so-called flight was coming in today.

  “Yes, it’s me, honey love.” Shauntae turned her back to Sherice and Candy who were bug-eyed and laughing at the name she called Gary. “I’m here at the airport in Atlanta. On my way to bag claims.”

  “I pulled up your flight information online. It said your flight was delayed and wouldn’t be here for another four hours. How are you here in Atlanta?”

  Shauntae heart started beating fast. “Uh . . . I . . . uh . . . I caught another flight. When they announced there would be a delay, I took another airline.” She smiled at how fast she came up with an answer.