And Baby Makes Five

by Debra Clopton

  Sitting there in the cold air, Lilly felt comfortable enough to let Lacy inside her heart. “I married Jeff because I was lonely and to disprove the legacy my grannies tried to pass down to me. I made a bad choice.” Lilly studied the landscape, the barren pastures waiting for spring. “It was a huge mistake. After he left me, after I started coming back to church, after I met you, I realized that I hadn’t waited on the Lord. I tried to hate Jeff. But I couldn’t. Jeff didn’t know the Lord. He didn’t care or understand that marriage is a commitment made before God. I let my wanting a husband get ahead of waiting on the one God had in mind for me. Do you think I’m right about that?”

  Lacy paused for a few moments. “I can’t say what God’s mind was then. I’m sure He wanted you to do what you could to make the marriage work once you had committed to Jeff. But he left and it’s over. You understand the concept—one man, one woman for as long as the two shall live.”

  Lilly nodded. “Yes.”

  Lacy reached over and placed a cold hand on Lilly’s. “Do you still want a husband?”

  “Yes. Yes, I do. Despite my grandmothers, I want to have a family. I look at Joshua and every negative thing my grannies said about marriage, about men, all of it just disappears into thin air. I want a husband. And I want more children. But I don’t want just any husband. I want Cort.”

  Lacy smiled. “I thought so! I told you I thought he was your future.”

  “But Lacy, he doesn’t want to marry me, for reasons I’m not at liberty to talk about.”

  “Do you love him?”

  Lilly looked at her hands. “Yes, yes I do.”

  “Do you trust God?”

  Lilly looked at Lacy. Her blond hair looked like whipped cream after a pie-smashing contest, but the wisdom that shone from her blue eyes reached far into Lilly’s heart. “I want to trust Him.”

  “I was reading a verse this morning. ‘Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.’ I believe that was Psalm 37:4.” Lacy thought for a second. “Nope, it was 37:5 because verse four is, I remember now, ‘Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.’”

  Lacy searched Lilly’s eyes with hers as Lilly pondered the verses. Commit her way unto the Lord. That was what had been on her mind lately. She hadn’t done that—at least, she hadn’t tried to do that until recently. And she hadn’t totally committed to it until she’d looked into the face of Joshua. “I want my child to know that his mother loves the Lord. My delight would be that he grow to know the Lord. That he join me in heaven one day. That he grow up to be a man of God. And I would like him to have the guidance of a father in his life.”

  “Are you prepared to wait on the Lord?”

  The question shocked Lilly. She had been all set to go after Cort. To convince him that he was the man for her. But was she prepared to wait on the Lord? Was she once more trying to rush the plan that God had for her life? Lilly sat up straight and gawked at Lacy. “How in the world did you get to be so smart?”

  Lacy laughed. “Oh, Lilly, it isn’t me. God prepared my heart for this conversation. I prayed this morning that whatever it was that was bothering you, He would speak through me. That He would just kick me to the curb and use my big mouth to speak to you.”

  Lilly lowered her head and stared at her hands folded in her lap. “Yes, I’m prepared to wait on the Lord. Only He could have known what I needed to hear.”

  Lacy squeezed Lilly’s shoulder. “God wants what’s best for you and Joshua, Lilly. But whatever is going on may not be about you. It could be about Cort. Give it time and pray. God has a plan. And I have faith that whatever it is, it’s gonna be wonderful. And it’s gonna outshine anything you could imagine.”

  “But what if He doesn’t give me Cort? How can I go on?”

  “God’s grace is sufficient to sustain you through anything. He promises that. He doesn’t say His grace might be sufficient. He says His grace is sufficient. Things in this life hurt. You’ve already learned that. Life isn’t fair. Satan is alive and well and striking out at every turn. But I know that when my dad left me and my mom, when he turned his back on us, it hurt so much. But God carried me through. He was faithful and I’ve used that pain to counsel many other people with similar problems because I understood what they were going through. He will carry you, Lilly. He will carry you every step of the way if you need Him to. But I know you. I saw in you a spirit, the first time I saw you singing in the church choir. Like this town, you have a spirit that wants to soar for God. You just have to trust Him. Act out on that trust and pass on His grace as the opportunity arises. You’re going to be all right, Lilly Tipps.”

  Lilly reached over and hugged Lacy. “Thank you, Lacy. God blessed me the day you became my friend.”

  Lacy gave her a hard squeeze. “Girl, I can’t even begin to list all the blessings He’s given me. But you are one of them. And that Clint Matlock, bless his sweet soul, is the icing on my cake. And I wasn’t even looking for him when God put him in my path.” She released Lilly, put the car in gear, then gunned the engine, smiling big-time at the loud sound.

  Lilly sucked in a breath and held on as they shot out onto the blacktop heading back toward town.

  “You get ready, Lilly,” Lacy called out like a cheerleader. “Because our God is an awesome God and there is truly no telling what’s going to happen next for you and Joshua. No telling at all.”

  Lilly couldn’t help but smile.

  Even when a bug hit her between the eyes.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Cort put the screwdriver back into his toolbox, then closed the door to the feed room and tried out the freshly relocated bolt near the top of the door. No way would Samantha get into the feed room now. He felt a bit guilty for having changed the lock. What would Samantha think, after having been allowed in the room all her life, to now being ousted?

  She was just a donkey. A little pesky burro. But she seemed like more. He had grown attached to the old girl. Just as he’d grown attached to Lilly. And Joshua.

  Loser was sitting at his feet. He wasn’t lying at his feet—he was actually sitting there. At attention. Why, the dog even wagged his tail every once in a while. And if Cort even got near his truck, the crazy animal would run and leap into the truck bed and look expectantly at him. Loser wanted to go, but not just anywhere. Loser wanted to see Samantha. Cort felt the same way about Lilly. He wanted to get in his truck every time he passed by and drive over to see what was going on at the end of the dirt road.

  But he couldn’t do it. He’d kissed Lilly. Then he’d told her he wasn’t the man for her. He’d turned the sweet woman away when, in his heart, he’d wanted nothing more than to hang on to her with both hands and never let her go.

  He’d misled her.

  And he’d hurt her.

  But there was nothing he could do about it. He was learning the hard way that life wasn’t fair, and it definitely didn’t care how many times it struck him down.

  When Ramona left he’d not been able to blame her. She wanted children. She’d always wanted them, and no matter how much it had hurt Cort to watch her leave, he’d understood deep inside that he had to let her go. It was for her best interests. Letting Lilly go was for her best interests, also. He just couldn’t believe that God would lead him all the way out into the middle of nowhere just to dangle Lilly in front of him. But then, he hadn’t understood much the Lord had been up to lately.

  He looked over at the now almost smiling Loser.

  “Well, I’m glad one of us is happy. I feel like God’s put me on a merry-go-round. Only, there isn’t anything merry about it. It’s just one stinking heartache after another.”

  Loser tilted his head and barked, then ran over to the truck that sat at the end of the barn. He wiggled his body like a dust mop being beaten against a rug. The closer Cort got to the truck the wilder and more erratic his wiggling became.

  “I’m not going over there, Loser. That’s the
last place I need to be.” He looked at his watch and saw that it was nearing three o’clock. He had promised Clint he’d help him and a bunch of the other cowboys set up a few more tables for the wedding that was to take place on Saturday.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “Lacy Brown, get away from that door.”

  Lacy ignored Norma Sue and continued to peek through the heavy door of the church. “It’s packed!”

  Lilly chuckled. Despite her heavy heart she was determined to enjoy Lacy’s wedding. And so was Lacy. Lilly stood on tiptoes and peeked over Lacy’s head. The little sanctuary was filled with all kinds of cowboys and a good many women. Some of them she recognized as having come to the dinner theater.

  “You see anybody out there making eyes at each other?” Esther Mae asked, bumping into Lacy and then Lilly as she tried to get an eyeball to the crack in the door.

  “Esther, watch it,” Norma snapped. “Your big feet are steppin’ on Lacy’s dress.” Lilly was glad Adela was playing the piano loudly, so it would drown out all the chattering.

  “Norma, Norma, Norma, calm down,” Lacy said with a laugh. “Look out there. Look how beautiful and happy Clint’s mother looks. I’m so glad she came to the wedding and that she and Clint are getting to know each other again.”

  Lilly could see Clint’s mother in the second row beside Lacy’s mother. It was hard to believe, looking at her, that she’d run off with a man from the circus when Clint was just a boy. But she’d recently become a Christian and asked for Clint’s forgiveness. Now here she was about to witness her son’s marriage. God was incredible. He’d restored a family after years of separation. It did her heart good to know God’s faithfulness.

  Lilly thought of Joshua, and of Cort. Would God bring them all together as a family? Lilly had been praying for the Lord’s will to be done in her life. And yet the moment Cort had walked into the church her stomach had started churning and her pulse had increased. Cort Wells made her happy even from a distance.

  “Oh, and look at Molly taking all those pictures,” Lacy hissed in an excited whisper, reeling in Lilly’s runaway thoughts. “There’s Cort sitting by Sheriff Brady. Lilly, just wait till he sees you in that dress. Oh, Molly just took their picture.”

  Lilly glanced down at the ice-pink dress she wore. She still couldn’t believe she was one of Lacy’s bridesmaids. Of course, Lacy was different. She’d wanted Norma Sue, Esther Mae and Adela to also be her bridesmaids, but they’d refused, declaring they were way too old. In the end she had her roommate, Sherri, as her maid of honor and Lilly as her bridesmaid.

  Esther Mae and Norma Sue were watching Joshua for her.

  “Okay, ladies,” Ashby said from behind them. Everyone spun around, bumping elbows as they lined up in front of her. She was the acting wedding planner, and she looked the part in her elegant suit and silky straight hair.

  “My, my, but all of you look like you’ve had your hands in the candy jar. What’s going on?”

  “We’re just people watching,” Norma Sue said, jiggling Joshua in her arms.

  “Well, it’s about time for you to march down the aisle.”

  Lilly was more nervous than Lacy. When the wedding march started Lilly was in place only because Ashby set her there and gave her a tiny nudge that it was time for her to get things rolling. She wanted to roll, all right. Right out the door.

  Everyone in the church turned, watching her, but her feet wouldn’t move.

  “Go,” Ashby whispered from behind the door. Sucking in a deep breath that immediately stuck in her lungs, Lilly stepped out.

  Cort was sitting in the second row from the back, and his eyes caught hers. She was finally able to breathe again when she reached the front of the church and took her appointed spot.

  In her mind’s eye she could see Cort, standing where Clint stood waiting for his bride.

  And Lilly wanted it to be her.

  She so wanted it to be her.

  Please, Lord, give me peace. Help me be satisfied with Your plan for my life.

  Cort had watched Lilly walk slowly down the aisle. Her curls were swept up on top of her head in a pleasing mass of disarray that exposed her smooth neck. Her barely pink dress contrasted with the warmth of her eyes. When their eyes met she’d looked away, toward the front of the church. Cort hadn’t been able to tear his gaze away, following her every step.

  And he noticed his weren’t the only eyes that appreciated the picture of beauty Lilly made as she took her place at the front of the church. Cort was sitting near the back, and out of the corner of his eye he could see Bob Jacobs. He stood tall and straight in his tuxedo. He was, Cort felt sure, what a woman would find handsome in a man. And he watched every move Lilly made.

  Sherri passed him on her way to stand in the maid-of-honor spot and Cort didn’t even notice, he was so caught up in thinking about Lilly and Bob. One second Lilly stood there alone, then Sherri took her place beside her. Sherri was beautiful, too. Her normally crazy Rod Stewart hair was curled softly about her face, taking away the radical look she was known for and exposing a more vulnerable woman. But Cort had eyes only for Lilly. She was everything he wanted.

  And there lay his problem. Nothing about it had changed since the first night he’d met her. He needed that kick in the head, and he needed it badly.

  When he finally focused on the wedding, Lacy and Clint were beaming at each other as Pastor Lewis asked each of them if they’d take the other in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad times. When Lacy reached out and cupped Clint’s jaw as she said “I do,” Cort’s eyes again sought out Lilly.

  There were tears in her eyes and a sad smile on her lips.

  His heart ached. He wanted the best for Lilly. She deserved it.

  It didn’t matter that all he really wanted to do was walk to the front of that church, take her in his arms and ask her to be his. All that mattered was that Lilly get the family she deserved.

  Trust me.

  The words of the Lord came to Cort as he watched Lilly’s lip tremble. Why was she near tears? His chest tightened and his fist knotted tightly.

  Lilly needed whatever the Lord had in store for her. Once more he reminded himself of this. Trust me. Wasn’t that what he’d felt God telling him this morning when he’d opened his Bible looking for answers? All day he’d meditated on the words. Was he trusting God? Did he believe that God had a plan?

  Did he?

  The answer was yes.

  But watching Lilly, lovely Lilly, with her eyes glistening with tears and her lip trembling as she watched two people unite in marriage, he faltered. How was he to know if he should try for a future with Lilly or stay out of her way and simply be her friend?

  Until he understood what God wanted from him he would stay out of her way. He would simply be there as her friend when she and Joshua needed him.

  It felt wrong.

  Every day it felt more wrong than the day before. Still, it remained the right thing to do.

  Lilly stood on the front walk of the community center and studied the array of cars parked along Main Street. There had to be three hundred people here tonight. The inside of the building was bulging at the bricks with full capacity. Leave it to Lacy to make her reception a memorable one. Who but Lacy Brown would have a karaoke party for a reception? An all-love-song karaoke bash!

  Bash was right. There were all kinds of love songs being butchered inside. While it was fun and hilarious at the same time, Lilly had needed to escape, to catch her breath and contain her nerves. Being near Cort—and yet his seeming so distant—hurt. He’d stayed across the room from her all night, talking with Roy Don and Hank.

  Adela had taken Joshua home with her, saying she would leave the partying for the young adults. She was spending time with the youngster of Mule Hollow.

  Now Lilly was torn between going to pick him up and heading home or going back inside. Cort continued to make it quite clear that he wasn’t the one for her, that she needed a
younger man who could give her children.

  For the past week she’d tried to heed Lacy’s advice and wait on the Lord. But it was so hard.

  There was no way she could go over to Cort’s without a good reason, as if she were throwing herself at him. No way would she ever do that again.

  Lilly bit her lip thinking of the wedding. It had been wonderful, yet her emotions were bouncing around and the least little thing was making her want to cry.

  And love songs were the pits!

  Sure, if you were in love they were perfect! But for someone whose love life was crashing around her feet, listening to off-key renditions really hurt.

  She wasn’t in the best of moods, and it seemed as if God wasn’t listening.

  “Hey, Lilly, you are a definite knockout tonight.”

  Lilly glanced over at Bob as he walked out onto the front walk to stand beside her. His dimples were huge and his grin was sparkling in the fairy lights that hung along the porch.

  “Thanks, Bob. It was Lacy who was the knockout.” Lilly pushed away her mood and smiled at her new friend.

  “Aren’t you cold?” He rubbed his hands together, cocked his head to the side and eyed her suspiciously. “Something wrong?”

  “No and no. No, I’m not cold, and no, nothing is wrong. I just needed a break from all the love songs.”

  Bob nodded and relaxed against the railing, turning so he could face her. “I know what you mean. That ceremony really made me think about the future. I’m ready for the Lord to send me a wife to settle down with on my own little piece of land.”

  “I’m sure God’s going to send you a great wife. You’re a wonderful guy.”

  It was starting to get cold to Lilly now and she suddenly felt awkward. “I guess I’d better go inside. The chill is setting in through my coat.”