Can I really bring myself to be selfish with her like I have other women? Will I be truly satisfied knowing that I am only satisfying myself and not Jess?
Am I really prepared to just take everything from her without giving anything back to her in return?
All of the above would have been easy to answer this time last week. Now I’m not so sure.
I decide against my male instinct and wait it out in the kitchen while she finishes of her bath. She's still a little delicate and I would hate for her to think that I was taking advantage of her. See, that right there. What is that? She's changing the way I act. Normally I would have been in there, gotten what I wanted and been on my way. I'm a selfish man only out for myself. I'll always be the first to admit it; nothing else protects you more than only thinking of yourself.
Being around Jess is breaking more barriers than I ever realised I had. While I wait, I make a few phone calls to make sure everything is set for when we leave on Monday. Melissa is still being a little drama queen, which shouldn't be much of a surprise. Seriously though, this grudge that she is holding is lasting longer than normal. I'm hopeful that when I arrive home she will pull out whatever it is that is stuck up her arse and return to being my loving little sister. I understand the separation anxiety that she goes through and the need to make sure I'm still there for her, damn I'm the only family she has out there. She's been dealt a bad hand at times in her life, fucking hell we both have. I thought she would be ok with Heath around, at least with him I know she is in safe hands.
This is a prime example of why people shouldn't rely on me, or expect anything in return. I'm a fucking selfish bastard - even if it is unintentionally.
JESS
I watch him leaning over the kitchen side, his hand running through his hair causing his biceps and his muscles to flex. The definition in them is breath taking. He's on the phone talking in hushed tones. Judging by his posture he doesn't seem to be a happy chappy. Maybe he needs his mood lifting a little. After all he has done nothing but make sure that I have been okay and pamper me all day. After my luxurious bubble bath of heaven, I feel fresh as a daisy. My new bathrobe leaves little to the imagination and I cannot wait to see how he reacts to it. With a low cut plunging neckline when it is tied and thigh high slits on either side, I saw no point in ruining this beautiful piece by wearing underwear beneath it.
The silky feel against my skin makes me feel sexy and confident, just like the man stood in front of me. It's like I have him wrapped around me. My mind chooses this moment to suddenly think of all the other women that he has probably bought lavish gifts for and I can't help but feel a slight pang of jealousy in my chest. I promised myself that I wouldn't do this, that I wouldn't allow myself to get too involved. I'd be stupid to think that this, whatever it is, could be anything more. I really need to let go and enjoy this beautiful ride while it lasts and face the consequences, whatever they may be later on.
Once I enter the kitchen, he turns to face me and his eyes rest on mine instantly as if he has sensed me enter the room. I bite down on my bottom lip as I take in the sight of him and to prevent a grin from spreading across my face. He clearly likes what he sees. His hungry eyes roam over every inch of my body, lingering a little bit longer over my exposed flesh. I love how easily someone like me can make a man so beautiful, so powerful and full of control seem so defenceless when he looks at me. It gives me the strength I need to step slowly towards him.
As I move closer to him I press a finger to my lips so that he remains quiet as I approach. Surprisingly, he does as I ask. His eyes never leave mine; the passion laced within them is evident. When he speaks down the phone his voice comes out thick and throaty, full of desire and need that I feel myself blush and hope that the person on the other end of the line isn't Mal or Luke. Once I reach him, I motion for him to stand and again, he does so without question. His expression is one of confusion, causing his brows to knit together. I could kiss that beautiful face all over. Seriously I have never witnessed this much perfection.
My hands automatically land on his big broad chest and a flicker of electricity shoots up my arms at the contact. I lightly trace my fingers up and down his torso, while looking up at him through my lashes. I continue my trail of seduction until I reach the waistband of his sweatpants and pause slightly as he sucks in a sharp breath. Watching him come undone under just my touch alone causes heated fire to flood through my veins. I idly skim my fingers around his side, desperate for more of him but not wanting to rush things. I don't think I could ever really get enough of him. He's like a drug, a drug that I will always need - no matter what the price.
His arm clamps onto my arse and he presses against me so that I can feel his arousal; the heat burning through the fabric of my robe. To hell with waiting, I need him too badly. I quickly pull down his pants, needing to feel him against me. Skin on skin. He still watches me with those hooded eyes as he continues to listen to whatever it is that the person on the other end of the line is saying to him. He looks so god damn beautiful stood before me like this, completely open and void of any barriers. It takes everything that I have to hold back, when all I want to do is rip that phone away from him and have my wicked way with him. Instead I lift up onto my tiptoes and place a tender kiss onto his lips. When he tries to kiss me back I pull away. Still keeping eye contact with him, I lower myself so that I am crouched in front of him. I cannot believe I am doing this while he is on the phone. He brings out a side of me that I never knew existed and I love it. I love the thrill of it. I have never been so daring with someone before especially someone who I have known only a short period of time. I take him in my hand, his thickness slightly overwhelming, but he doesn't need his ego stroked anymore. Working my hands up and down his length a few times, I lean in gently and lick around his tip slowly before taking him fully into my mouth.
"I'll call you back." He growls down the line before slamming his phone onto the kitchen counter. "Fuck..." His hands knot in my hair instantly and his hips begin to move back and forth. "... Ahh, shit."
Before I know it I'm on my feet and Max is pressed against me in a heartbeat. He presses his forehead down to mine and holds my chin with his thumb and forefinger, pulling my face up so that I am forced to look into his glistening brilliant blue eyes.
"I've been so fucking hard for you all day." He says just before his mouth crashes down against mine, his tongue searching desperately for mine, eager for contact and I do the same. Teasing and exploring in that perfect way of his. His hands roam beneath my robe and I am pulled closer to him. The moan that reverberates from deep within his chest lets me know that he is more than pleased with my lack of underwear.
I devour him. I let him take what he wants, how he wants, desperate for more of the feelings that he stirs within me. I'm like a woman possessed whenever I am this close to him. The way he makes me feel renders me speechless every time.
I feel alive.
I feel as though I can do anything, anywhere with him and it wouldn't matter because in these moments it's just us. Max and me, me and Max. Nothing and no one else matters.
I'm broken away from my thoughts as the cool solid granite of my work tops hits my naked arse. Holy shit it's cold. I can't help but squirm and let out a squeal at the sudden invasion on my skin. Max chuckles at me, filling me with a fuzzy warm feeling inside at this carefree man stood in front of me. He's like a completely different person when it's just the two of us.
Hating the sudden void of him pressed up against me, I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him back towards me and take those wonderful lips of his within mine. The feel of his solid hard thighs between my legs does crazy things to me. With one sharp tug from Max, my robe falls loose, exposing my heavy breasts and pert nipples that ache so desperately to be touched.
"I like the robe sweetheart, but I like what's underneath it better." Sensing what I need, his fingers begin trailing over my nipples, teasing and pulling, causing the pressure between my thighs
to heighten. My hands find their way to his hair and I bask in the ecstasy that is taking over my body. My neck falls back and my back arches as his mouth finds its way to my nipple, that wicked tongue of his licking, sucking and assaulting my nerve endings. His fingers work their way towards my sex in a slow fashion and its pure torture. I need to feel him closer to me; I cup his balls in one hand and begin to knead them gently, slowly working my way up his hot solid length. I guide him towards me, aching for him to be inside me, wanting that extra connection between us. The pleasure that courses through me as soon as he sinks inside me is most welcome. I have missed the feel of him against me, the feel of us colliding against each other in heated passion more than I realised. He fills me completely and it takes a moment for my body to adjust to the sudden invasion. Once it has passed I start to move my hips so that I build some friction between us to relieve me of the dull ache that is rapidly increasing within me.
The feel of his rapid heartbeat and his heavy breathing has me on the brink of release as he picks up his pace, slamming into me with so much power and passion that I can't see straight.
"I've missed the feeling of being buried deep inside of you angel." Those words are all I need to send me over the edge. "So fucking much. You bring out feelings so raw within me, sometimes I feel like I'm about to go batshit crazy..." I cut him off as my nails dig into his back as I ride out my orgasm. I'm pretty sure I draw blood. His words make me feel warm inside, fill me with hope that this could be more than a wonderful shag-fest. Sex talk means nothing though, just meaningless words that are said in the throes of passion; filled with lust. I don't respond to him, not trusting the words that would most likely come out of my mouth. Instead I rest my head in the crook of his neck, our sweat riddled bodies comforting each other with the aftermath of the mind blowing sex that we just experienced.
I don't know how long we stay like this, entwined in each other's arms, but eventually Max pulls his head back and says "you hungry?" while his fingers lightly trail up and down my side. I'm bloody starving but I don't feel like moving just yet. I'm pretty happy and content to stay propped up against this irrational yet beautiful man. In all honestly I'm not ready for this to end and the reality to come crashing back down around us. In just a couple of days we will be leaving for Australia and then what will happen? I'll probably be just the employee, but seriously? What did I expect? I knew this was just a bit of fun.
"Kind of." I manage to get out reluctantly. "But I don't think I can move."
"Not a problem angel." He leans over and grabs his phone from where he slammed it down earlier. I am scooped up in to his arms again as he carries me a short distance from the kitchen to the living area and places me down gently on the sofa.
"What do you fancy? Italian, Chinese?" He is so relaxed and looks surreal sat next to me naked on my sofa ordering takeout. If someone had told me last Monday morning what this week had in store for me I would have laughed in their face and asked if they required medical attention, but here he sits once again catering to my needs and putting me first.
"I don't mind, honestly. Why don't you choose?" My voice is barely a whisper as I struggle to find the energy to talk.
We settle on Chinese and while we wait for it to arrive, Max pulls the blanket that's placed over the back of the sofa and wraps it around us so that we are cocooned in our own little haven.
We stay like this for the rest of the evening, lay next to each other wrapped in my blanket watching game of thrones.
"I think I like this, whatever this is." Max says, completely taking me by surprise. This is the first time he has referred to us both as an us. I have no idea how to react to his little declaration of how he feels.
"Me too." Is all I manage and place a kiss on his perfectly toned chest. Bloody hell, what am I supposed to do now?
JESS
I wake up suddenly to the sound of raised voices. Why am I hearing raised voices on a bloody Sunday morning? I turn over to the left and see that Max isn't in bed. I can't help the sudden panic and hurt that overcomes me at the thought that he has walked out again, but that doesn't explain the shouting that seems to be coming from downstairs. The more I listen to the voices, the clearer that Australian accent becomes. Yes, he is definitely still here, but who the hell is he yelling at? Realising that the only way I am going to find out is if I get my arse out of bed, I quickly pull on my bathrobe.
Oh please, no. You have got to be fucking kidding me. My worst nightmare soon becomes a reality when I stand at the top of the stairs. I can see Max stood in just his sweatpants bellowing at the man in front of him.
"I've told you once already pal, fucking do one."
"Listen you jumped up prick, don't think you can stand there and tell me what to do in my own house." I can tell by Josh's voice that he's worried how far he can push Max but his stubborn streak keeps him shouting his mouth off. "Seriously mate. Who do you think you are swanning about in my house?"
"Get a grip you twat. You don't live here. You made that mother fucking choice when you decided to stick your dick in anything that showed your sorry arse a bit of attention."
I stop at the bottom of the stairs just as Max has finished his little outburst. How the hell does he know about Josh cheating on me? Judging by the look on Josh's face, he's thinking the same and it doesn't take him long to notice me.
"You've known him what? Five fucking minutes and you're pouring your heart out to this fucking prick, someone who you don't even know?" Josh says, looking directly at me, anger and hurt plastered all over his face.
"Watch who you're calling a fucking prick before I ram your teeth into the back of your pussy arse throat." Whoa. I need to separate these two otherwise it isn't going to end well at all.
"I want to talk Jess. That all I want. One chance for you to hear me out. Please." The sight of Josh begging turns my stomach. "It's not what you think. I've tried to make it right."
"You were messaging another woman. Fucking hell, it could have been ten for all I know. That's a no go for me Josh and you have always known that." I can only imagine what we must look like. Me in my new silky robe and Max looking absolutely breath taking in just his pants. I actually hope Josh feels hurt and angry. I hope he finally realises what he has actually thrown away for some quick thrills. There is no way he will ever get it back. Not now, not ever. Regardless whether Max is in the picture or not.
"This isn't over Jess." He spits out at me again. I really wish he would move on. Everyone would be so much happier for it. He wasn't happy enough in our relationship for him to stay faithful and I'm guessing that his latest conquest isn't doing it for him anymore so he wants to come back. Well it isn’t going to happen. No way am I putting myself through his bullshit again.
"What do you feel like doing today angel?"
"Are you serious?" I laugh, watching as Max looks completely at home grabbing the milk from the fridge. "I've got absolutely shit loads of packing to do, remember?"
"What happened to the ‘I don't need to pack that much’ routine? Don't worry about it. Whatever you don't have when we can get over there, we'll just buy new." He makes his way over to me and picks me up into those big strong arms. My legs instinctively wrap around him. "Plus I like the thought of you in less clothing; you’re easier for me to get too."
After our day of fun and relaxation yesterday, I can't allow myself to get distracted by him and that glorious body. We fly out in the morning and I still need to say goodbye to Jen and George. I'm supposed to be meeting them at Joes around lunchtime, and no matter how much he tries to sway my plans, there is no way I am going to miss it.
"As much as I would love to stay her and play, lover boy, I really need to go and say goodbye to my nearest and dearest."
"I'm not one to stop a lovely lady from doing what she wants, but when it's my lady I get selfish and want to keep her all for myself." What? So now I'm his lady? Damn, this man has a way with words, considering he hasn't got a romantic bone in his body. I just ca
n't allow my brain to process the words as true, if I do I really don't think I will be able to piece myself back together after the heartbreak I will suffer.
"So, what are you going to do?" I ask, eager to change the subject.
"My packing is all done, so I suppose I will probably pop in on Mal and Daisy to say bye..."
"Bye?" I cut in. "Why would you be saying bye when they're flying out with us?"
"There's been a change of plan sweetheart. Mal's going to stay here and keep his eye on that girl, Amelia is it? He wants to make sure she has the hang of things before he leaves or to see if Todd wants to take on the current clients."
"Tim. It's Tim." I snap. He's not making any sense. "Why haven't I been told? Why is Mal staying behind? This is his fucking dream."
"Less of the language sweetheart." He warns. "Yes it's Mal's dream, but you have already drafted the designs and completed most of the work. Don't think Mal hasn't told me that this is more your project than his. Plus, it would be wrong if Mal was to get frisky with me on the plane."
I can't help but laugh at his attempts to put me at ease. "It would seem you have a valid point Mr Wild. Yes, that would be very wrong on so many levels Max." I reach up and him a swift kiss as a silent thank you to how he makes me feel. I can't help but worry about Amelia though. Maybe I should have left the current projects with Tim rather than burden her with more stress. Mal’s a big guy, I’m pretty sure he knows what he’s doing.
As soon as Max has gone to say his goodbyes, I begin to get ready to say mine. I'm absolutely shocking at this kind of thing and I'm always the ugly crier, I can assure you it isn't a pretty sight. No sooner am I about to leave the house, when I realise Max has left his phone when it chimes to life beside me. I decide to answer it so that I can pass a message on. Normally I would never do such a thing, but he's a business man and it may be important.
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