by Jaye Wells
“My, I see we had ourselves a pity party, hmm?” Kira said as she surveyed the disaster.
Syd’s temper flared. “Just yell at me and leave. I am in no mood for this.”
Kira picked up a tissue with the tips of her perfectly manicured fingers and dropped it on the coffee table before sitting on the couch. She patted the spot next to her.
“Sit down, young lady. You and I are going to have a little chat,” she commanded, her expression serious.
Chapter Nineteen
Syd eyed Kira suspiciously. She sure wasn’t acting like a woman bent on destroying the woman who broke her son’s heart. However, Sydney was no fool. She knew better than to underestimate a seven-hundred-year-old vampire.
“If you don’t mind, I think I’ll stand,” she said defiantly.
“Sit!”
Syd jumped into action, pushing a clump of tissues off the far end of the couch before sitting. She grabbed a cushion and hugged it to her body like a shield.
“That’s better. Now, I can tell from the look of you that you are no happier about the state of affairs than Logan,” Kira began. Syd flinched inwardly at the sound of his name and gripped the cushion tighter.
“Where is your gumption? You’re cowering on the sofa like a scared rabbit. What happened to the Sydney I know?”
“What do you mean?”
“I hate to see you looking so defeated. What I want to know is why you are running away? Are going to let a little thing like a lover’s spat intimidate you?”
“A lover’s spat? Is that what he said? The pompous ass!” Syd said, sitting up straighter.
“That’s the spirit! But, Logan didn’t say that. Those are my words. In fact, Logan didn’t say much to me when I talked to him. He actually hung up on me if you can believe it!” she declared with a huff.
“Oh. Well, what on earth made you call it a lover’s spat?”
“Because with you youngsters it usually is,” Kira said confidently. Syd really couldn’t argue with being called “youngster” seeing the woman had 675 years on her.
“Why don’t you tell me what happened,” Kira said.
“Can’t you just read my mind or something?” Syd asked.
Kira chuckled. “I could, dear, but I think you need to talk.”
Syd debated with herself for a moment. On one hand, talking to Logan’s mother about Logan didn’t seem like a good idea. On the other hand, she didn’t have anyone else to talk to, except Jorge. She cringed, imagining Jorge’s reaction to the entire story. Probably not a good idea.
She looked at Kira, who seemed genuinely interested in listening to Syd’s problems. It had been so long since she had had an older woman to talk to. Actually, not that she thought about it, her own mother had never been a very good listener. She always went into denial mode whenever Syd tried to discuss her feelings. Maybe Kira could help her sort through what had happened.
“Okay.” Syd took a deep breath and held it. She had no idea where to begin.
“Just start at the beginning,” Kira suggested.
“I guess I need to start at the very beginning then. Three years ago, I was engaged to a man named Cole. My family really supported the match because he was a successful lawyer with a bright future. I thought I wanted it too until he started making demands. He wanted me to give up my master’s program and be a housewife. He needed me to help him climb the ladder. He said I wouldn’t have time to study in between hosting dinner parties and becoming involved in philanthropic causes. At first I went along with it. Then a few weeks before the wedding, I realized that it would mean giving up my identity to help him pursue his goals. I tried to talk to my parents about my concerns, but they didn’t want to hear it. I tried to talk to Cole, but he threw a fit.
“The truth is I didn’t love him, at least not enough to sacrifice myself for his success. When I broke off the engagement a week before the wedding, it shocked everyone. I understood Cole’s anger, but my parents refused to speak to me at all. Even my friends thought I was nuts. But I knew I had to move on. So I put myself through graduate school and then landed the job at the museum,” she explained.
“How awful for you. I don’t understand how parents can be so unsupportive,” Kira said, patting Syd’s clenched hand. “But what does this have to do with Logan?”
Syd open her mouth to speak and then closed it. How could Kira not understand the link between her past and Logan?
“Uh, it has everything to do with Logan,” Syd said slowly.
“Nonsense. He is nothing like that Cole person,” Kira said with a wave of her hand.
Syd leaned forward. “He told me he wanted me to give up everything so I could become a vampire and be with him.”
Kira’s brow wrinkled. “Really? That doesn’t sound like Logan. I know he can be a bit hardheaded, but he would never ask you to give up your career.”
“I am telling you he wants me to give my life up to be with him,” Syd said, her voice rising.
“Sydney, are you telling me he actually demanded that you quit your job and leave your life behind?”
“He said if I became a vampire I wouldn’t have to work,” Syd said and sat back.
Instead of taking her side, as Sydney thought she would, Kira laughed. “He said you wouldn’t have to, not that you can’t!”
Syd started to respond but stopped herself. Had she been so hell-bent on being angry at Logan that she misunderstood his meaning? Now that she thought about it, she realized maybe he had been trying to make the vampire life sound appealing, not giving her an ultimatum.
“But still. I would have to give it up. Wouldn’t I?” she asked.
“Of course not, dear. Do you think we all just sit around on our duffs century after century? Think about it. We all have jobs. We would go crazy if we didn’t work. Why would you think Logan, of all people, would want a woman who sits around all day doing nothing? He knows how important your job is to you.”
“But . . . but how could I work?”
“You get up, get dressed, and go. If you became one of us, you would take the same supplements that allow us to be out in daylight. But you could easily work at the museum.”
“But I thought . . . Oh my God,” Syd put her hand to her mouth. How could she have been so stupid? She had jumped to conclusions the minute Logan started talking about forever. He didn’t expect her to give up her job to be with him. He just wanted to be with her.
She ruthlessly reminded herself there were other issues. Regrouping her thoughts, she launched into another argument. “Even if he didn’t make those demands, there are still major issues we can’t get past,” Syd said, trying to come up with a list.
“Like what, dear?”
“Well, for starters I don’t think I can drink blood,” Syd said.
“Oh, please. You know very well Logan is about to release synthetic blood to the market. There’s no reason he couldn’t alter the taste and color for you. You wouldn’t even know it was blood,” Kira said.
Syd frowned. “Kira, come on.”
Kira shrugged. “Well, okay, you might, but I am sure something can be done. However, I think that issue is minor. After all, you know Logan would do anything to make it easy for you.”
Syd was grasping at straws, but as Kira rebutted each of her concerns, she felt more and more frantic
“Okay, the soul mate thing,” she said. “Logan didn’t tell me about that.”
“Sydney, what would you have the boy do? Remember, he has feelings too. What would you have done if he came to you early on and declared he was your soul mate?”
“I would have told him he was crazy. But he could have told me later,” Syd countered.
“When?”
“I don’t know! Look the whole idea freaks me out, okay?”
“Dear, I know it is a bit overwhelming. But you have to view it from another angle. How many people are lucky enough to find their soul mates? You have to look at it as a gift. Don’t waste it because you’re scare
d,” Kira said. “You have to take your chances even if you’re scared as hell. Take it from me, the gamble is worth it.”
“How do you know?” Syd asked.
“Because I was lucky enough find my soul mate. And just like you I was a mortal and Logan’s father was a vampire,” Kira announced. Syd felt her eyes grow wide with shock.
“Only I was much younger than you and lived during a time when science didn’t exist like it does today. I was terrified of Cornelius when he told me he was a vampire. But by then, I was already in love with him. Luckily, he was persistent and finally convinced me. The night he turned me is one of my most cherished memories,” she said, dabbing at the corners of her eyes.
“But weren’t you scared?” Syd asked, enthralled by the story.
“Of course. But Cornelius had prepared me for what was going to happen. And I knew I would do anything to be with him forever.”
“Wow,” Syd said, awestruck. She couldn’t believe Kira had once been in her shoes.
“We had five hundred years together. I won’t say they were all easy. We fought all the time, but then we’d have so much fun making up,” she said with a teary giggle.
“I can’t believe you were mortal too,” Syd said.
“It’s true. That is why I feel confident telling you these issues you keep creating can be overcome,” Kira said.
“I am not creating issues.” Syd felt her righteous indignation rear its head.
“Will you at least admit you love him?”
Syd felt her stomach drop and a cold sweat bead her brow.
“Sydney? Dear, you’re awfully pale.” Kira’s brows knit with concern.
Syd’s breath became labored. “Hy—hyper—ventilating,” she gasped.
“Put your head down,” Kira said, pushing Syd’s between her knees.
As she concentrated on getting each labored breath in and out, her heart fluttered like a butterfly on speed. In, out. In, out. Finally, after several repetitions, her heart rate slowed, and her breaths came easier.
“There, there, dear. All better now?”
Syd sat up and immediately regretted it. Dizziness washed over her in waves. She felt Kira get up but didn’t care as she swallowed to push down the bile rising in her throat. She wanted to curl up in the fetal position and die. A minute later a cold wash cloth pressed against her neck, making the queasiness recede instantly.
“Thanks,” she croaked and held the cloth against her forehead. Kira sat back down and waited patiently for Syd to recover. Finally deciding she wasn’t going to hurl, she looked sheepishly at Kira.
“Sorry, I don’t know what happened there,” she explained lamely.
“I do. For some reason you’re terrified to admit you love Logan. I think all of these other excuses are just a smoke screen to hide your insecurity,” Kira said.
Syd looked at her. “You sound like a psychologist.”
“I’ve taken a few courses. Don’t look so shocked,” she said when Syd looked over sharply. “I’ve had a lot of time on my hands.”
Syd just stared at her.
“Forget about my degrees. The fact remains you can’t move forward until you face your fear. Now, repeat after me: ‘I love Logan.’”
Her heart skipped a beat. “I can’t!”
“Yes, you can. Take a deep breath and just say it,” Kira instructed.
Syd took a deep belly breath, and then she blurted, “I love Logan?”
Immediately, her heart rate picked up again, only this time it wasn’t so bad. In fact, she felt kind of good.
“That’s better. Only this time say it, don’t ask it.”
Another breath. “I love Logan,” she said matter-of-factly. Then she smiled as tension lifted from her shoulders.
Breath. “I love Logan!” she shouted. Her happy laughter followed the announcement, and she grabbed Kira for a hug.
“I can’t believe it. I do feel better,” Syd said as she let Kria go.
Then she started to think about what had just happened. She’d just admitted, at the top of her lungs no less, to Logan’s mother that she loved him. She couldn’t take it back now. Collapsing onto the couch, she felt dizzy.
“I need to lie down,” she said. She laid her head back on the armrest and closed her eyes.
Kira patted her leg. “It’s going to be okay, dear.”
“But I love him,” Syd whimpered.
“Of course you do,” Kira said gaily. “Only I forgot to tell you that being in love can sometimes make you feel like you have the flu.”
“I thought that was pregnancy,” Syd said.
“That, too. But with love you get to keep having sex,” Kira said matter-of-factly. “Speaking of pregnancy . . .”
Syd held her hand up. “Don’t even go there!”
“Sorry. I suppose it’s a bit premature.”
“Definitely. By the way, I forgot to talk to you about the gigantic box of condoms.”
“You don’t have to thank me. I have a source if you are running low,” she said. Syd peeked open one eye to see if the woman was serious. Kira laughed. “Gotcha.”
Syd couldn’t help but smile. Even if Kira had forced her to admit something she didn’t want to face, she was forever grateful for the woman’s help.
“So what do I do now?”
“We mustn’t be hasty. You only just admitted to loving him. Give yourself a few hours to get used to the idea. Then you can go over to his house and grovel.”
“A few hours! Kira, we’re talking a major commitment here. And not the fifty-year kind either—the eternity kind. Besides, I can’t grovel. I doubt he’d even talk to me after the way I acted last night. When I think about the look on his face when I . . .” She cut herself off as tears threatened to fall.
“Oh dear. Please don’t cry, because then I’ll cry,” Kira sniffed.
“I can’t h-help it. I was so m-mean,” Syd said, unable to stop her sobs.
“Sydney, you have to understand something about Logan. He should really be telling you this, but I think you need to know. When Logan was younger, around his one-hundredth birthday I think, he thought himself in love with a young woman named Brenna. She was a vain, spoiled young lady. Unfortunately, Logan didn’t see that. He was infatuated with her as only the young can be. Anyway, he decided to tell her the truth. She called him a monster and ran as fast and far as she could from him,” Kira said.
Jealously churned in Syd’s gut.
“Oh, don’t worry dear. You’re much prettier—and frankly, smarter—than that little hussy. Besides, I know the feelings Logan has for you are real. His foolish obsession with Brenna was nothing more than puppy love.
“But I do fear your actions might bring up some repressed feelings from the experience for Logan.”
Syd sat up quickly. “Oh my God. He’s never going to listen to me now!”
“Well, I’ll admit it won’t be easy. But don’t lose faith. You have come too far to turn back now. Where’s your backbone?”
“But he must hate me now,” Syd said, her heart breaking at the thought of his pain.
“I doubt he hates you, but it will definitely take some fast talking on your part to convince him to hear you out. He pretty much withdrew after the Brenna debacle.”
“What am I going to do?”
Kira looked at her watch. “It’s almost nine. I suggest you get dressed and go to work.”
“Crap! It’s that late already? I do need to go. But I meant what should I do about Logan?”
“I have a feeling if you go to work the answer will come to you,” Kira said with an enigmatic smile. At Syd’s curious look, she quickly explained. “I mean perhaps focusing on something else will help you see things more clearly.”
“I guess so. Kira, I don’t know how to thank you for listening to me. I can’t believe I have been such a fool,” Syd said.
“We have all made ourselves fools for love at one time or another. Now, don’t worry so much. Things will work out. Give yourse
lf some time to think about what we discussed,” Kira said.
She enveloped Syd in a hug. The maternal gesture comforted Sydney more than she thought possible.
Kira leaned back with her arms on Syd’s shoulders. “I know this is early, but I want you to know I would be very proud to have you as a member of my family.”
Syd couldn’t control the rush of emotion Kira’s words caused. It had been so long since she had felt like she had anyone to lean on, and now this ancient vampire was offering her the one thing she had longed for her whole life—a family to love and support her.
She threw herself back into Kira’s arms as tears started to fall again. Soft hands stroked her hair as she cried. After a few moments, the sobs subsided into soft hiccups. Syd looked up, a blush spreading over her cheeks.
“I’m sorry. I have cried more in the last two days than I have in my whole life.”
“You can’t be strong all the time. Perhaps it’s time you learned that sometimes you have to share your burden before it weighs you down. Now, go take a shower. You still have chocolate on your forehead.”
Syd let out a watery laugh. After another hug, Kira left. Leaning against the closed door, Syd took a deep breath. All she wanted to do was collapse back onto the couch and sleep off the exhaustion caused by the emotional burden of the last few days. Instead, she pushed herself away from the door and marched to the bathroom. She had no more time to dwell on her love life.
She had to see if she still had a job.
“Hey, Jorge.” Syd strolled up to his desk with a concerned frown. “You don’t look so good.”
“Shhh. Stop shouting.” He winced and put a hand to his forehead. Dark sunglasses shielded his eyes and his normally olive skin was pale.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“No. I don’t know what we were drinking last night, but I have never felt this hungover in my life,” he groaned.
Confused, Syd stared at him until she remembered Kira’s quick thinking last night.
“Oh yeah, uh, you were really tossing back that . . . uh . . . tequila,” she said.