Welcome to Paradise

by Rosalind James

  “Take your pies home for dessert,” Cliff said. “And Arcadia? It’s finally your turn to talk tomorrow. And to vote.”

  If anything, the walk back to Paradise was even quieter than the trip to the Clearing had been.

  “Want to do a little fishing with me, Kevin, once we take care of the animals?” Stanley asked as they neared the cabin. “Trout and pie for dinner’d be right nice. And you go on and get your bath, Mira,” he instructed. “One thing I can do in the kitchen is fry trout. That corn looked like it was ripening up real good. Boil us up some of that, along with some green beans and your huckleberry pie, we’ll be having a party.”

  Mira nodded numbly. She’d faced going home every week, she reminded herself. But while she was washing hastily in the creek, she felt despondent all the same. As hard as it was out here, as dirty and exhausted she felt most of the time, she didn’t want to leave. Didn’t want to leave Gabe, of course. But it was more than that. Something about being out here had got under her skin. And she was going to miss it.

  She shook her head at herself, dressed quickly, and walked to the cabin, collected a basket to gather the vegetables for dinner. And met Gabe in the garden, doing a little extra watering on the tomatoes and waiting for her. Danny was in place already, getting some footage that she knew he was hoping would get more exciting now.

  “Have a good bath?” Gabe asked, setting down the bucket at her approach.

  “Not as good as yesterday,” she answered, feeling her spirits lift a bit at the memory. “That seems like a long time ago, doesn’t it?”

  Gabe glanced at Danny. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go pick corn.” He pulled her quickly around behind the tall stalks, leaned down and kissed her quickly, then held her for a moment as Danny brought the camera around.

  “I don’t want you to leave tomorrow,” he said against her hair. “If it’s you—“

  “Come on. You know it’s me. There’s no question.”

  “Maybe not, though,” he insisted, stepping back from her and pacing a few steps along the row before turning back, his expression intent. “Look. Keeping you two makes strategic sense, and if Alec’s anything, he’s strategic. And I’ll bet Rachel is too, though I don’t know about Calvin.”

  “Nobody’s that strategic,” Mira said wryly. “I’m going. It’s obvious. They’ve been dying to have Scott gone for weeks. That’s going to outweigh anything else over there.”

  “Don’t be so defeatist! Why can’t you have a little faith? Why can’t you even try?”

  He really looked upset, she saw with a twinge of discomfort. “Gabe. I’m going. And that’s OK. I’m sorry not to get another week or two, but it’s really not that big a deal. And what could I possibly do about it now anyway?”

  “It’s not a big deal? That you’re losing? That you’re leaving with him?”

  “Of course not,” she said, smiling uncertainly. What was wrong with him? How could this be a surprise? “It’s been obvious since the beginning that Scott and I would never win the million, and my half of that second-place money wouldn’t exactly change my life. And I’m not leaving with him. Don’t be ridiculous.” She put a hand on his arm. “Come on. What’s the matter?”

  “Of course you’re leaving with him. That’s the point.” He shook off her hand and, oblivious of the intently filming Danny, walked to the edge of the garden and stood, back turned to her, head down, hands in his pockets.

  Mira stood, helpless to know what to do. The familiar tension twisted her insides at his annoyance. His . . . anger. She couldn’t think how to make this right. Was he really this upset with her for losing? He’d been quiet on the walk home, but she hadn’t realized that it was about her. She’d tried so hard. Why was that never enough?

  He turned back at last, came back down the row to her.

  “I’m sorry I lost. I’m just no good at pie,” she said helplessly as he approached. “I tried my best, but . . .” She felt her chin trembling. “I couldn’t do it. And I’m . . . sorry.” The final word was almost a whisper as she fought the tears.

  “Why are you sorry?” He frowned down at her. He still seemed annoyed, and her heart sank even further.

  “I’m the one who should be apologizing,” he went on angrily when she didn’t answer. “I’m the one storming around here like a pr—like a jerk. You should be telling me to knock it off. Go on, tell me.”

  She smiled hesitantly, wiped the stupid tears, as always, with her apron. Why was he still mad? What was she supposed to do now? “I’m not going to say that.”

  “Why not? What’s going to happen if you get mad at me?”

  “You might . . .” She stopped, confused and shaken, not knowing what to make of his stormy expression. Did he want her to fight with him? “But,” she said slowly, “you’d just get mad at me, then. Madder than you already are.”

  “So?” he demanded. “So you tell me off, and my male pride gets all wounded, and I snap back at you. Where’s the disaster in that? Because then I’d walk away, like I just did, and come to my senses, if I know what’s good for me. Realize that if I treat you badly, you’ll be dumping me on the dance floor. And that I can’t risk that, so I’d better walk right back here and apologize to you. Which, in case you can’t tell, is what I’m doing right now. I’ve been acting like a jerk, because I’m worried about you. And a little bit jealous, too,” he admitted.

  Her heart was pounding with different emotions now. Relief, and pleasure, and confusion, still. He was jealous? Really? “I hate it when people get angry,” she confessed. “Especially at me. I just hate it. I don’t know what to do about it. I just want to make it be over.” She was close to crying again, fought the tears back.

  “Don’t you see,” he told her gently, pulling her close, laying one hand against her cheek, smoothing her hair back. “It’s not your job to keep everybody happy. You’re sure as hell not supposed to worry about keeping me happy. I’m supposed to be trying to be good enough for you.”

  “Wow.” She laughed shakily. “That would be a novel way to look at the world.”

  “Yep,” he agreed. “You can get mad at me, especially when I get all stupid and possessive like that. You can tell me off, put me in my place. We can even have a fight from time to time.” He grinned down at her, tightened his hold on her waist. “That’s just going to make it so much more fun when we kiss and make up.”

  “By the way,” she said, after they’d done just that, for once oblivious of Danny. “You have no reason to be jealous, or to be worried. If I do leave with Scott tomorrow—we may be leaving at the same time, but I’m not going to be with him. Not ever again.”

  “I know that. Intellectually, at least. I’m not that much of a jealous idiot. But I don’t like the way he looks at you,” Gabe said. “He’s been humiliated so many times out here. It’s been his own fault every time, of course, but somebody like him doesn’t see it that way.”

  “Yeah,” she agreed. “I’ve realized that with him, it’s always somebody else’s fault. I thought he really liked me, but I realize now that what he liked was that I would take the blame. I’m good at that.”

  “You were good at that,” Gabe corrected. “But whether or not you accept it, I don’t want him throwing it at you. And I’m pretty sure he will.”

  “I’ll stay away from him. He’s not going to say anything in front of other people. Probably not, anyway,” she added honestly. “As long as I’m not alone with him, I’ll be fine.”

  “And anyway, I’m the one who should really be worried about leaving you alone out here,” she said, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Why’s that?” he asked, standing back from her now, his arms around her waist, and looking down at her with a smile.

  “I suspect Rachel has a little thing for you,” she said sternly. “And I know how hard it is for you to keep your hands to yourself. You’d better be behaving yourself while I’m gone, or I am going to be dumping you on the dance floor. And remember, the camera doesn�
��t lie. Danny’s going to keep an eye on you for me, aren’t you, Danny?” she asked over her shoulder.

  “Mira. You’re supposed to ignore me,” he growled. “How many times do I have to tell you?”

  Gabe laughed. “She looks all soft and sweet, Danny, but she’s got a sassy side. Don’t I know it.”

  The cameraman sighed with exasperation. “You are too. Supposed to ignore me, I mean. You guys are worse than Zara.”

  “Maybe that’s because you’re always around,” Mira complained, “so we’ve gotten to know you too well.”

  “Hey,” Gabe protested. “Quit talking to Danny. This is my time. And you were just getting all jealous, and I was loving it.”

  “You were?”

  “Definitely. You going to fight for me?”

  “No. No fighting.” She tightened her arms around his neck, looked into his eyes, and spoke from her brimming heart. “What I’m going to do is, I’m going to wrap my arms around you. I’m going to hold you so you feel it, so you remember it. And while I’m gone, I’m still going to be holding you, every minute of every day. And you’re going to stop what you’re doing, sometimes, to feel it. You’re going to feel my arms around you, holding you. You’re going to feel me loving you.”

  “Danny,” Gabe said quietly.

  The inevitable sigh. “What now?”

  “Go away.”

  The Tail of the Dog

  Gabe stuffed his hands more deeply into the pockets of the wool jacket against the midnight chill and eyed the unfamiliar outlines of the cabin. He probably could have thought this out better. The full moon had lit his way reasonably well to the Clearing, and then along the path from which Arcadia had emerged so many times. Of course, he could always have turned around and asked Stu the way, but he preferred to forget that he was being followed by a camera. But whatever the case, what was he supposed to do now? He didn’t even know which side of the loft the men were sleeping on.

  Just as he was steeling himself for an exploratory trip that had every possibility of ending disastrously for Alec as well as himself, the cabin door opened, the figure stepping out into the moonlight more familiar to Gabe than his own reflection.

  “Gabe?” Alec called softly. “You out there?”

  Gabe stepped from the shelter of the trees and walked to meet his twin. Performed the handshake they’d worked out when they were ten, the routine of fist-bumps and special grips both a little juvenile and the most comforting thing ever. Then put his arms around his brother for a quick hug.

  “Who’s got a Spidey Sense now?” he asked, keeping his voice low.

  “I woke up and knew you were here,” Alec agreed. “But let’s go over by the creek where we can talk.”

  “OK,” Alec said, once they were seated on a couple of boulders. “What’s up? This about the vote?”

  “They going? That the plan?”

  “You know it,” Alec said with satisfaction, understanding the question perfectly. “It’s obvious how you feel about him. Hell, when he said what he did at the dance, I wanted to deck him myself. So imagine living with him for five long weeks. It’s like he’s disintegrating. We’re in Lord of the Flies territory over here.”

  “And if you’re asking me to keep him on somehow,” he finished, “I can’t do it. And I wouldn’t if I could. I’m counting the hours, and so is everybody else.”

  “We’ll be merged after tomorrow, though,” Gabe argued. “And then he’ll hate me, not you. I’ll deal with him. Plus,” he went on in his most persuasive tone, “you still want to win this game, right?”

  “You know I do.”

  “Well, that’s our best bet in all respects. Go to the end with the two of them, and we win, no-brainer. And the same thing’s true for Stanley and Calvin. Vote out Rachel and Kevin instead tomorrow, and you’ve removed one of the two obstacles between Calvin and a million bucks. All he and Stanley have to do is beat you and me in the Safety challenge, and he’s won the whole thing.”

  “And don’t tell Calvin, but from yours and my point of view, it wouldn’t even be that cut and dried,” he added, seeing a more thoughtful expression come over Alec’s face. “Stanley’d rather duke it out with you and me for the million than Scott and Mira or Rachel and Kevin. Even if he and Calvin win the challenge, Stanley’s going to push for us to stay. That ‘let the best man win’ thing. Stanley isn’t a real strategic player. Too straight-up of a guy for that.”

  Alec shook his head regretfully. “It sounds good when you say it, but I can’t do it. I go to Calvin and tell him I want to vote Rachel? He’s going to think I’m playing him, that I’m working with Rachel to vote him off, because he and Stanley are our biggest competition. Calvin is a strategic player. You and I’ll find ourselves on the jury in no time flat if I do that. Because Scott’s going to be voting you and me. You know he is.”

  “You can convince Calvin, though. You’re good at that. You can talk anybody into damn near anything.”

  “Did you hear me? It’s too risky, and I want to win!”

  “Why?” Gabe demanded. “Because you need half a million more dollars? We wouldn’t even be here if the producers hadn’t recruited us. You never even wanted to do this. You didn’t come here for the money, and you know it.”

  “I don’t care,” Alec said stubbornly. “I’m here now, I’ve put in the hard time, and I’m not shooting myself in the foot just because you’re hot for some girl. She’ll still be there in a couple weeks, after we’ve won. She can’t exactly go anywhere. Anyway, I thought the whole idea was that we were supposed to be thinking deep thoughts out here. And I’ve actually done it. Got my next project all mapped out, thanks to a whole shitload of plowing and haying and wood-chopping time to work through it. You were right, thank you very much, great downtime. Now I’m ready to go back and get into it. Just as soon as we win.”

  “And meanwhile, what have you been doing?” he continued. “Not thinking, that’s for sure. And not playing the game either. You’re one of the most disciplined, competitive guys I know. If there was one thing I would’ve said I was sure of, it was that you’d want to win this thing even more than I do. And that you could do it. Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?”

  “I’ve won already,” Gabe insisted. “I’ve got what I came for.”

  Alec groaned. “Is this the sappy part where you tell me true love is the greatest treasure? Come on. You’ve known her, what, six, seven weeks? You’re headed right over a cliff here, and you’re supposed to be the cautious one!”

  “If you mean I’m in love, the real deal, then you’re right. I don’t care how long it’s been. Look at the people on Arcadia, even the ones who’ve left now. Compare them to people you’ve worked with for years, and tell me which ones you know better.”

  “You really mean it, don’t you?” Alec asked wonderingly. “You’re really ready to . . . what? Have you even slept with her?”

  “Doesn’t matter,” Gabe said. “And none of your business.”

  “Oh, man,” Alec groaned. “You haven’t. How do you know that it’ll even be worth it?”

  “You got a stove in your cabin?” Gabe asked.

  “What? Of course we do.”

  “Does it get hot?”

  “Yes, it gets hot. Why, you want to cook something? You’ve gone around the bend, you do realize that, right? You are now officially nuts.”

  Gabe ignored the comment. “How do you know it’s hot? You ever touch it?”

  “All right, all right,” Alec muttered. “I get it.”

  “That’s right. I don’t have to make love with her to know I love her, that she’s the only one for me. That’s not how it works.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Alec said in alarm. “Slow down there, boy. This is Sir Galahad again, isn’t it? OK, she was with the Prince of Darkness there, and you rescued her. Great. Good job. Doesn’t mean you have to carry her off on your horse and take her to live at the castle.”

  “I think you’re mixing your
fairy tales,” Gabe said with a little smile.

  “Whatever,” Alec said impatiently. “It’s still too fast.”

  “No. It isn’t. And I need you to do this for me. I need you to help me keep her safe.”

  “So that’s what this is about,” Alec said with relief. “That’s ridiculous. You’re letting your imagination get way ahead of you. Wherever they’re keeping them, you know all the others are there too. So he says some nasty things to her. She’s a big girl. She can handle it. This isn’t actually the Wild West, you know, and you don’t have to have her under your protective arm to keep her safe.”

  “I need to keep her here,” Gabe said stubbornly. “I know I do, that’s all. I need you to help me do it. You owe me, and I’m collecting on that. Right now.”

  “I owe you?”

  “You sure do. All those years of you calling the shots? Know how many times I went along with you? Well, it’s Payback Time. I’m not the tail of your dog anymore.”

  “What tail? What dog? We never even had a dog. You’re seriously worrying me here, bro.”

  “All those Halloween costumes? The horse thing, seventh grade? The Slinky Dog? What was the common denominator there?”

  “They were awesome? We won Best Costume? What?”

  “They were always your idea, for one. And I went along with them.”

  “And I’m supposed to give up a million dollars, because I got to choose our Halloween costume. You. Are. Dreaming.”

  “And the other thing about them,” Gabe went on inexorably. “Who was the head, and who was the tail? Who decided where we went, and who followed along? Me, that’s who. I spent eighteen years being the tail of your damn dog. And I was happy to do it, most of the time. But I’m not the tail anymore. And I’m telling you that I’m right about this. It’s important to me.”

  “It’s a million dollars,” Alec objected weakly.

  Gabe said nothing, just continued to look at him.

  Alec sighed and caved. “All right, Dog Head. I’ll do my best.”