Explosive Desire (Love With a Price Book 4)

by N. J. Young

  Tears pooled in her eyes, and she quickly swiped them away. “That’s part of the problem. I can’t be with someone who’s angry, who can’t communicate.”

  Q’s laugh startled her. He was really laughing, head thrown back, as if that was the funniest thing he’d ever heard. “Jesus Christ, Doc, have you even met Luke Price?”

  She just blinked in confusion as Q shook his head.

  “Oh, man.” The bartender ran an exasperated hand through his wavy hair. Then he cast her a long look. “I’m guessing you know already that Luke is into the BDSM scene, right?”

  She felt the heat rise in her face. “I know he wants the control.” Just another reason she felt unsure.

  “No, that’s not it,” Q countered.

  Now her brow furrowed in confusion. “But, I thought … I mean—”

  “It’s the communication. The trust. And he doesn’t want it. He needs it.”

  She shook her head slowly. “I don’t understand.”

  Q smoothed his hand on the table. “BDSM centers around trust and communication. Luke needs that to feel centered. You have to understand, it wasn’t always easy for him growing up in the Price clan.” He smiled slightly, and his eyes clouded as if he were seeing a memory. “Luke was never crazy book smart like his siblings. There was always part of him that didn’t quite measure up, at least not in his eyes. They never did anything to make him feel that way, at least not as far as I could tell. But he seemed to have it in his head that he wasn’t good enough to be in his own family, that they didn’t really need him. And while his brothers were always good at teasing him, they never really did much to help him understand how much of a central figure he was to that family. Still is.”

  Her heart hurt as she thought of a young Luke who didn’t feel like he was important, who didn’t recognize his worth. “I still don’t understand what this has to do with BDSM.”

  “Like I said, BDSM is all about trust and communication. I’ve been to the club with Luke. I’ve seen him top women. He’s good at it because he needs to feel needed. He craves the trust that someone else puts in him. And communication goes with it. If you don’t have that, a D/s relationship doesn’t work.”

  She took a shaky breath. “But what about…” She stopped and shook her head.

  “What about what, Harper?”

  She couldn’t get over the unease she’d felt the other night. “At the hospital, he was so angry. He punched a hole through the wall.” And she couldn’t get the image of her father, fists flying, out of her head. “I can’t be with someone I’m afraid of.”

  Q’s eyes narrowed as if he were seeing something in her that was unspoken. “Maybe you and I have more in common than I thought,” he said, almost to himself.

  She blinked up at him. “What do you mean?” Q didn’t seem like the type of man who was afraid of anything.

  He just shook his head. “Look, I know Luke has a temper, but, Harper, I’ve known the man since I was a kid. I’ve never in my life seen him get violent. The only time I’ve ever seen him punch someone was when he defended me.”

  “But he seemed so mad, so … out of control.” She almost seemed like she was trying to justify her feelings to herself. Was she doing that by making Luke out to be the bad guy when he wasn’t?

  Q shrugged a dismissive shoulder. “He was mad. And given, punching a hole in the wall was a dick move on his part, but he’s not dangerous. He’s not violent.” He tapped his fingers on the table as if he were trying to decide what to say. “Trust me, Harper. I’ve had experience with violence. That’s not Luke. And I’m guessing you’ve had experience with violence, too.”

  He looked at her for confirmation, and she just nodded.

  “Right. So, ask yourself. Do you see that in him? The man who drives around with his brother and picks up stray puppies on the weekend. Can you look into his eyes and see in him the kind of violence you’ve experienced?” He shook his head. “He’d never hurt you, Doc. I may not know much, but I know that.”

  Memories of her father ran around in her head. He spoke with his fists. He’d never wanted her, never loved her.

  Her mouth dropped open a bit as the realization hit her. Her father had reacted out of anger because he downright loathed her. He’d never reacted because he had any sort of passion. Luke wasn’t her father. He wasn’t anything like her father. The caring and compassion he’d shown her in the short time she’d known him was more than her father had shown her throughout her whole life. She’d taken her own insecurities and fears and projected them onto Luke.

  “Oh, God.”

  Q grinned. “I think you’re finally getting it. You should go to him, Harper. Before it’s too late.”

  She swallowed hard. “Too late?”

  Rising from the chair, Q nodded. “You kept things from him, Harper. You didn’t tell him the truth. He puts honesty above all else.” The bartender pushed his chair in. “You need to prove to him that you’re the woman he thought you were.”

  She was already up, grabbing her purse. What had she done? By holding back, had she ruined the only relationship in her life that had ever had any sort of potential? She began to dig out her wallet, but Q put a hand on hers. “Wine’s on the house. But next time, you can tip me for the advice.”

  She gave him a watery smile. “Thanks, Q.”

  He shrugged a nonchalant shoulder. “Just go to him. And please don’t tell anyone I’ve suddenly become the love doctor. I’m supposed to be all dark and broody. I have a rep to protect.”

  She gave him a quick hug and sprinted out the door, determined to find Luke and make him realize how much she cared about him.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Luke stood at his kitchen counter and stroked Gus’s fur as he re-read the text from his sister.

  Have you talked to Harper yet? Don’t let her get away, Luke! You two are perfect for each other.

  Okay, he really needed to stop looking at his phone. He’d about had enough of Becca, the dime-store psychiatrist. Besides, talking to Harper was easier said than done. He’d tried to call her, but her phone kept going straight to voice mail. And he wasn’t going over to her place and banging on the door. Not that he hadn’t thought about it. So maybe he had driven by her place two or three or ten times. So what? He just had to purge her from his brain somehow.

  He scratched his gray cat behind the ears. “Purge her from my brain. How the hell am I supposed to do that, Gus?”

  Gus gave Luke a bored look and a tail flick in response before he leapt off the counter.

  Raking a hand through his hair, Luke walked over to the refrigerator in his immaculate kitchen and pulled out a beer, then practically jumped as his back door swung open. “Jesus Christ, Dylan. Don’t you fucking knock?” He slammed the refrigerator door and grabbed the bottle opener next to the sink.

  Dylan headed straight to the fridge to get his own beer. “Would you have answered?”

  Luke took a long, deep swallow from his bottle and waved his middle finger at his brother with the other hand.

  Dylan popped the top on his beer. “Exactly.”

  Luke’s harsh glare didn’t seem to do much to deter his little brother. “Shouldn’t you be with Carly?” The last thing he needed right now was company.

  Dylan gave a half-hearted shrug. “She’s at the shelter, helping her mom. They got some new rescue pups in. I’m just hoping she doesn’t come home with one. We’re up to three dogs already.”

  At the buzzing of the phone, both men glanced down to see another message from his sister.

  I know you’re ignoring me. The message was complete with a monkey emoticon holding its hands over its ears.

  Dylan’s eyebrow arched curiously. “Becca getting involved in your love life too?”

  Luke let out an irritated breath and quickly typed back, Mind your own business, brat. His thumb hovered over Send, but then he decided that might be too harsh so he added an emoticon of a face sticking out a tongue. “She needs to focus on her
own love life and stay out of ours,” he grumbled.

  Dylan leaned on the counter behind him and stretched out his long legs. “At least you have an advantage. She’s not friends with Harper.”

  His brother had a point. Becca was friends with Carly and Tori. To her, that meant she could insert herself in the middle of her siblings’ relationships and make sure—as she put it—her brothers “didn’t do anything douchey”.

  Dylan regarded his brother. “You know, if she knew how much you’ve been involved in her love life, she would probably kill you in your sleep.”

  Confiding in Dylan about how he’d interfered in Becca’s love life had been a big mistake on Luke’s part. But since Dylan and Carly had been visiting the Calico on the weekends, they’d become familiar with Gray and Q’s predilections.

  The muscle in Luke’s jaw started to twitch. “You know, everyone around town still thinks she’s trying to decide which one of them to choose.” But he knew the truth. Not only were Gray and Q two of his best friends, but they were both Doms at the Calico. And they played together. No, they weren’t gay. They’d always been so close that Luke had once thought they were, but then when they’d all discovered the BDSM scene, Gray and Q began to top women together. They’d done it for so many years, they were like a well-oiled machine.

  Dylan crossed his arms over his broad chest. “You know, I doubt either of them is even capable of having a relationship without the other one at this point.”

  “I know. You know I support them no matter what their lifestyle. It’s just a whole new ballgame when you throw Becca into the mix.” When Luke had realized Becca was interested in the two men, he’d nearly gone into a blind panic. “Christ, Dylan, not only are they nearly ten years older than she is, but they don’t do relationships. Never have. With Gray’s baggage and Q’s demons, any relationship they attempt would be a time bomb waiting to explode. I don’t want Becca anywhere near that.”

  The problem was he knew his friends had feelings for Becca. So he’d told them if they truly cared about her, they would leave her alone. And they’d respected his wishes. But sometimes he wondered if he’d been right to step in.

  “I know you’re just trying to protect her.” Dylan picked his beer up off the counter and took a long pull. “But she’s a grown woman, Luke. She can make her own decisions.”

  He eyed his brother. “Really? So you’d be okay if Becca started showing up at the Calico? What, would you stand and cheer her on if she was tied to a St. Andrew’s cross and Gray was fucking her while Q flogged her?”

  Dylan visibly shivered. “Really? You really had to put that visual in my head, motherfucker?”

  Luke grunted and drained his beer. It’s certainly not like he was an expert with relationships, but he cared about his sister.

  “Look, I didn’t come here to talk about Becca.”

  And there it was. Why did everyone feel the need to offer unwarranted advice?

  Luke shoved past Dylan and grabbed another beer out of the fridge. “I’ll tell you what I told Becca. Mind your own business.” He didn’t want to talk about it, and he certainly didn’t want Dylan’s psychoanalysis.

  He turned and stomped down the hall to the family room at the front of the house and tossed his big body on the leather couch. Dylan was right behind him. His brother sat in the leather club chair opposite him, and put his feet up on the ottoman, crossing one ankle over the other.

  “Have you talked to her?” Dylan finally asked.

  Luke’s eyes rolled skyward. No one could take a fucking hint. “No. And it’s not like I haven’t tried. She won’t answer the phone, okay?”

  Dylan snorted. “Since when does that stop you when you want something bad enough?”

  Luke’s moodiness was turning into an intense sulk. “Well maybe I don’t want her.”

  Harper was too good for him. He knew it, and he was sure Dylan knew it, too. So what was the point of this little exercise?

  An exasperated sigh escaped Dylan. “Come on, brother. I know you were upset that she didn’t tell you everything, but—”

  “You don’t get it,” Luke interrupted. “Yeah, I was mad, but can I really blame her? I was an idiot. I made things out in my head to be way more than they were.” I was stupid enough to fall for her.

  Dylan studied him for a long moment. “Do you really think that’s true? Because I don’t. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, Luke. You weren’t making that up in your head.”

  “God, Dylan.” Luke angrily raked a hand through his hair and fisted it. “Do you honestly believe an insanely beautiful, intelligent doctor would ever go for someone like me?”

  His brother’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Yes. And what do you mean ‘someone like you’? Why wouldn’t she go for you?”

  Luke gave his head a quick shake. “She’s just like all the other women. They see muscles and a pretty face, and they’re more than happy to fall into my bed. But long-term?” He let out a hollow laugh, and his words came out all in a rush. “Come on, I’m not the kind of guy you take home to mom. Harper proved she wasn’t thinking long-term when she decided not to share her life with me. I was stupid to think we had a chance.”

  Dylan stared at him, open-mouthed as Luke drained the last of his beer and slammed the bottle down on the table. He got up and gestured to the door. “Look, while this has been fun and all, I’d really prefer to be alone if you don’t mind.”

  “Luke,” Dylan said gently. “You can’t possibly think—”

  The ringing of the doorbell interrupted him.

  Luke’s hands clenched at his sides. “You have got to be kidding. What is this? Grand fucking Central?”

  “Maybe it’s Ethan,” Dylan offered as he rose from the couch. “If it is, maybe he can talk some sense into your stupid ass.”

  “Or maybe I can just ignore whoever it is, and they’ll go away,” Luke said hopefully.

  The doorbell rang again, and they both glanced in the direction of the front hall. Then there was a long pause, and for a moment, Luke thought whoever it was had given up. Then, the doorbell rang five times in a row.

  “Well, fuck,” he grumbled as Dylan chuckled. Whoever it was had obviously seen his lights on and knew he was home.

  When the doorbell rang again, he let out another curse and headed to the foyer. If it was Ethan, Luke was going to kick his ass. Solitude was the only thing he needed right now.

  He got to the front door just as the person started pounding on it.

  “What!” he practically roared as he yanked it open. Then all of the breath left his body.

  Harper stood in front of him, tears in her eyes, her fist raised, ready to knock again.

  Chapter Eighteen

  His rugged face took her breath away. Even as Luke stood in the doorway and glared at her, the butterflies in Harper’s stomach began to zip around. She paused for a moment, waiting to see if he would greet her or let her in. But he just stood there. The tightness in his jaw was evident, and the tension was palpable.

  “Harper!” a cheerful voice exclaimed a moment before Dylan’s face appeared from over Luke’s shoulder.

  When Luke didn’t move out of the way, Dylan shoved his older brother hard with his shoulder, forcing him to step aside. “Come in, sweetie. How are you doing?” Before she could say a word, Dylan grabbed her hand and pulled her inside. He didn’t let her go until he’d led her into the family room. “Have a seat.”

  Luke had followed them into the room but said nothing. Harper sank slowly onto the couch, wondering if coming here had been a mistake. She cleared her throat. “Um, I didn’t know Luke had company. I can come back another time.”

  “What?” Dylan looked alarmed. “No, no, I was actually just leaving. Carly texted me, and she needs my help at the shelter.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at what Harper was pretty sure was a blank screen. “Yeah, I really do need to go. Besides, you two probably have things to talk about.”

  He glared at Luk
e. “So I’ll see you later.”

  Harper offered him a weak smile and watched as he walked past Luke and punched him in the bicep, hard. Luke barely winced.

  Dylan turned and gave her one last wave before she heard the click of the front door.

  Her fingers twisted this way and that in her lap, and studying them seemed like a way better idea than looking up into Luke’s face. Still, the silence was so deafening, that before long she couldn’t take it and finally cast a glance upward.

  Luke’s arms were crossed over his muscular chest. His biceps strained against his gray shirt, and she wondered if it was possible his muscles had bulked up even more in the three days since she’d seen him naked.

  Even with that stern look on his face, he was movie star gorgeous. His black hair was disheveled, one raven lock falling over his forehead. His mouth was a firm line in his sculpted face. And his eyes looked black as they narrowed at her, his gaze dragging over her. Why did he have to be so sexy?

  “What do you want, Harper?” His voice seemed to boom in the quiet room, startling her a bit.

  She licked her lips and took a deep breath. “I wanted to talk.”

  “Talk?” He cocked his head, looking as though he didn’t believe her. “I’ve tried to call you numerous times over the last three days. You didn’t answer, and you haven’t returned my calls. What could you possibly want to talk to me about?” He certainly wasn’t going to make this easy, but after the way she’d treated him, she didn’t really deserve for him to go easy on her.

  “I wanted to apologize,” she said weakly.

  His withering stare seemed to pierce right through her. It took him so long to respond, she thought for a moment that maybe he hadn’t heard her.

  “Fine,” he said finally. “Apology accepted. Anything else?” He walked in the direction of the foyer, as if attempting to usher her out.

  She stood, and for a moment, she nearly lost her nerve. He didn’t want her there. Or if he did, he was doing a damn good job acting like he didn’t. But she didn’t come here to just give up and go home. She’d never taken a chance on love before, never found anyone she wanted to take a chance with. For the first time in her life, there was a man she didn’t want to let slip through her fingers. But if she wanted to keep him, he was going to make her work for it.