“For a while we just sort of hung out together, going to dinner and the theater and to museums. It was honestly a little strange since I’d disliked him for so long, but in reality, he was totally different than I’d thought.”
I nodded, knowing exactly what she was talking about. I’d misjudged Chase too.
“I wasn’t really sure what we were doing until one day in April when I realized how much I liked him, but I had no idea how he felt. We were walking back from Brooklyn Brewery, and we’d both had a decent amount to drink.”
I was riveted at that point, and a little disturbed, as this was my brother we were talking about, but still, I was on the edge of my seat.
“I stumbled as we were walking across the bridge, and Chase caught my arm. When he pulled me up, we totally had one those movie moments where we looked in each other’s eyes for a few seconds, each wondering if the other would make the first move. Then he kissed me, and it was the best first kiss I’ve ever had.”
“Aww, I mean eww, but really aww,” I said, thinking that that was one of the sweetest things I’d ever heard, even if it was my brother she was talking about kissing.
She smiled. “I know, too cute, right.”
“So what happened then?”
“He walked me back to my apartment and asked if he could take me out to dinner that night, like on a real date. Then came over to pick me up, and it was sort of awkward, because we were both so nervous and knew we were going to cross a line. I mean we’d had some seriously flirty conversations, but they’d never gone any further than flirting. Now, he was standing inches from my bed, and we’d just kissed that afternoon, and it was so awkward, but in a really good, ‘I’m really into this new guy I met’ kind of way.”
“Do I want to hear this?” I asked grimly, really not wanting to hear about their first time.
She stuck her tongue out at me. “Yes, you’ll be fine.”
Tired of standing, I slunk down against the wall and pulled my knees to my chest waiting for her to continue.
“Because we both seemed so on edge, I poured us some drinks. Then we sat there in silence, sipping vodka and cranberry juice, since it was all I had, and feeling ten shades of awkward. Finally Chase turned to me and said, ‘I really want to kiss you again. Can I?’ So, of course I said yes, and he did, and then we missed our reservation.”
I stuck my finger down my throat and made gagging noises, playfully, as I could see how blissfully happy Rachel was in that moment. She was fingering the ring on her thumb.
“That ring,” I said. “Chase has the same one.”
She nodded and grinned like an idiot. “Yeah, we bought them in SoHo the weekend before we flew home to Charlotte. Chase said he wasn’t sure what the summer would bring, but he wanted something to remember the two best months of his life.”
“Wow,” I said, never thinking my brother had it in him to be so romantic. How little I knew about him. “Wait, you didn’t do all this for him, did you?” I gestured to her new look.
She shrugged. “Not really. After a while, the person you’re with sort of rubs off on you. I was looking to do something different, and I knew he’d like it.”
“He really designed your tattoo?”
She nodded. “Yeah, he’s pretty amazing. He designed all of his, some of Davis’s and some for a few guys he knows from NYU.”
“Seriously?” I was shocked that my brother was an artist. Add that to the list of things I’d never bothered to find out about him. “Wow.”
It was definitely a morning of surprises. Suddenly, all the things that felt a little off that summer came back to me in a rush, and I didn’t know why I hadn’t seen the signs earlier. Rachel freaking out that I, really Chase, was leaving for the summer, Chase and Rachel seeming to have become friends at some point, her number programed in his cell phone and the relief she felt when, apparently Chase, not ‘Michael’, had surprised her when he was supposed to be in Raleigh with Molly, potentially cheating on his girlfriend. Then there was the way Chase had been freaking out the day before when Rachel had arrived, how rigid he’d found out she’d slept with Derrick and his surprising behavior when he’d put Derrick in his place, and probably threatened him for hitting on Rachel. Good Lord I was dense. How had I not realized this sooner?
“So you really like him?” I asked, still in slight disbelief.
She smiled widely and nodded. “I love him.”
“Really?” I asked, never thinking I would hear those words from Rachel, let alone about Chase.
“Yeah. I do.” She was grinning so widely, that I knew she wouldn’t have been able to wipe it off her face for anything.
“He loves you, too?” I asked, a little louder than I should have.
“Yeah, I do,” came Chase’s voice from the doorway.
Rachel’s head snapped up, and she locked eyes with my brother. His dark hair, not so dark anymore, as it had lightened a bit in the sun, was wet and sticking up. He had a pair of khaki shorts on with a black hoodie, and he was smirking down at Rachel, as if he was embarrassed, but excited about what he’d just admitted to her.
“You do?” she asked.
He smiled, his smirk stretching into a grin to match Rachel’s, and nodded. “Hell yeah, I do.”
With that Rachel leapt off my bed, ran over to Chase, and threw her arms around his neck. I had to look away when she kissed him, because it was just too disturbing to watch.
“I love you, too,” I heard her say, as I looked intently out the window at the clear blue sky.
La, la, la, la, la. I can’t hear my brother making out with my best friend.
Chase laughed. “Yeah, I heard.”
“I wanted to tell you sooner,” she said, “but I was afraid you didn’t feel the same way.”
He kissed her again. “Rach, I’ve felt that way for a while. It’s cool.”
I heard them kissing again.
“Okay, don’t mind me,” I said loudly, still not looking at them.
“It’s safe, you can look,” Rachel said, and I could hear the utter happiness in her voice. It made me wonder if that was how Zack and I looked together. Something told me it was.
As I turned to look, I saw them both grinning, as they stood in my doorway. Chase’s arm was lung over Rachel’s shoulders, and her arms were wrapped around his waist.
“Okay, fine,” I said begrudgingly. “I’m happy for you guys! Now go get a room already.”
“Okay,” Chase said, as he grabbed Rachel around the waist and pulled her out of my room. She squealed in delight at his caveman style attack.
I shook my head, laughing lightly as I heard them make their way down the hall and into Chase’s room, trying my hardest not to think about what was about to transpire behind his closed door.
Chapter Twenty-Six
I texted Zack when we got to the beach later that day, but he didn’t respond. I had to guess that he’d gone back to bed. I was dying to see him, to tell him the bombshell news I’d learned that morning, but I also just wanted to see him. I’d give him in a few hours to sleep before I went over to his house to drag him out to hang with us. It was a gorgeous day.
Rachel and Chase finally joined Keely and me about an hour after we’d gone down to the beach, which gave me a chance to fill Keely in the relationship our brother had been hiding all summer. Her reaction was almost identical to mine, but she still couldn’t mask her disbelief when they walked up to us holding hands. I wasn’t sure if it was something I’d ever get used to seeing, but both of them looked happier than ever, which thrilled me to no end.
All day I saw a different side of my brother as he laughed and played with Rachel in the ocean. It was incredibly different from the day before when they’d had to hide what was going on between them. Chase was just as sweet as he’d been, but he took advantage of every opportunity to kiss or touch her, which he’d refrained from before. I could tell they were in love.
When Chase left to get us drinks, I took my opportunity to dig
for as many details as I could stomach. I could go a lifetime without hearing about what they did when they were alone, but I’d be an awful best friend if I didn’t let Rachel download the details of her new relationship.
“So, you seem so happy,” I said.
She turned to face me. “I’m very happy.”
“What are you going to do next year?”
Distance had been on my mind a lot that summer, as I thought about what would happen to Zack and me after I returned to UNC. We hadn’t discussed the future at all, and I was afraid to bring it up for fear of knowing that it was stupid for us to even consider staying together. We’d only met a few weeks earlier. It seemed fruitless to even think about doing long distance, even though I wanted it more than anything.
Rachel looked introspective for a minute. “We haven’t really talked about it, but I assume we’ll stay together.”
She said it so casually as if there wasn’t really another option outside of staying together.
“You’re okay with being in a long distance relationship?”
Rachel shrugged. “I want to be with Chase. I don’t really have any other options outside of long distance at this point. Besides, it’s only until graduation. You know I’m moving back to the city in June.”
I nodded. “But you won’t get to see him hardly at all during the year.”
“Flights go to New York City every day, Emily,” Rachel chastised me. “I can see him whenever I want. Besides, he’ll be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and we can get together over spring break. It won’t be that bad.”
“What about date functions and formals? Will he come down for those?”
I couldn’t exactly see my brother dressing up and attending one of our Gamma Pi events, especially the ones that had themes. Chase definitely wasn’t a fan of costumes that required the wearing of Hawaiian shirts or flannel and cowboy hats. He’d hate having to sit on a log in the woods, drinking beer with frat guys like Ben, who most girls in Gamma Pi dated. Then again, if he truly loved Rachel, he might just be willing to dress up and accompany her to our annual woodser in October or our luau in the spring. I might even pay good money to see my brother sport a lei.
Rachel bit her lip. “Um, I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about that, Em,” she said, and I could see she looked nervous.
I raised my eyebrows skeptically at her, wondering if she was about to drop a bomb on me.
“I’m pretty sure I’m actually quitting Gamma Pi this year,” she said quietly, pausing to gauge my reaction.
My eyes got wide, and I knew the hurt in them was apparent. Gamma Pi was something Rachel and I did together. Initially she’d been skeptical about rushing, but I thought she really liked the girls and the sisterhood. She’d even loved it when we lived in the house together our sophomore year. True, I had toyed with the idea of leaving our sorority earlier in the summer, but it was really just a passing emotional thought. I was honestly excited about my senior year in the house.
“Why?” I asked in disbelief, narrowing my eyes at her. “Is it because Chase thinks it stupid? Because honestly, Rachel, I never thought you’d be one of those girls who did something just to impress a guy.”
Rachel narrowed her eyes right back at me. “No, Emily, I’m not one of those girls, and I would think as my best friend you would know me just a little better than that. I kind of made the decision last spring.”
“Last spring?!”
She nodded. “Yeah, when I took that internship in New York, I assumed I would be really disappointed that I would miss the luau and the spring formal and all the socials, but I didn’t. I actually found a lot of other things I liked doing better than prancing around as a naughty school girl or a biker chick. And I really didn’t miss going to chapter meetings every Monday night. I think I just sort of outgrew it. Besides, it kind of keeps me busy on the weekends, and I know I’ll want to fly up to New York as much as I can or spend time with Chase when he flies down to North Carolina.”
I shook my head. “So this is about Chase,” I accused.
Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “It’s not about Chase, but I am in love with him, and we want to be together. It’s what people do when they find the person they want to be with. I don’t look at it like I’m giving anything up. I’m gaining so much more that will be longer lasting than the sisterhood of Gamma Pi ever would be for me. I’m sorry you don’t understand.”
I felt a twinge in my stomach at her words and but realized it wasn’t because of what she’d said. I actually did understand, but I also knew my situation was incredibly different from hers. Zack didn’t love me. He wasn’t asking me to even be his girlfriend, let alone survive a year of separation. I also didn’t have the security that my future and his would collide. I had no idea where I’d be moving after graduation or even what I’d be doing, and I knew Zack had an even dimmer view of his future. We were in a completely different place than Chase and Rachel.
Thankfully Chase returned soon after, pulling Rachel’s attention away from me when he suggested we grab lunch. Keely wanted to go to a popular burger place on the island that Zack had introduced me to, so I tried his cell again to see if he wanted to meet up with us, but his phone just went to voicemail. It was strange since he always had his phone on him and didn’t usually take long to call me back. I instantly started to worry that something had happened to him.
When he hadn’t called me back by the end of lunch, my stomach was in knots. So instead of joining everyone else back at the beach, I walked down to his house to see if his family might know where he was.
As I approached, I realized that the house seemed abnormally quiet. The windows that were normally wide open were closed, and no one was on the front porch. I looked down at the house Molly, Leo and their families were staying in and saw the same eerie scene. It was strange. Even if they went to the beach, their houses were never closed up like that. I noticed then that there were also no cars in the driveways either. Maybe they’d all taken a day trip, but if that was the case, Zack would have mentioned it the night before.
I started to walk up the path when I realized I didn’t see Zack’s black motorcycle out front where it usually was parked. I walked tentatively up the front steps and knocked lightly, knowing no one would answer. I knocked again. My mind instantly flashed to Zack’s mom. I hoped nothing had happened. It was always his worst fear, but the day before had been great. He’s said she’d been up making dinner and laughing and joking. She had to be fine.
I dialed Zack’s number again, and the phone went directly to voicemail again. I even tried Molly, but she didn’t answer either, so I walked back home hoping Zack would call me back soon. I was on edge not knowing what was happening, my mind racing with horrible possibilities, and until I heard from him my mind wouldn’t settle.
Four hours later I hadn’t heard anything and had a permanent nervous feeling swirling in my stomach. Rachel had convinced me to go shopping in town when she saw how agitated I was, so we’d driven to the little cluster of shops. She was engrossed in trying on new tops and skirts, but my mind was elsewhere.
During dinner with my family, I tried to stay in the moment and engage in the conversation centered around Chase and Rachel’s relationship. They had finally revealed to my parents that they were together, and my mother couldn’t have been happier. She was hitting them with question after question which was embarrassing them both, and should have made me smirk, but I was too preoccupied, having still not heard from Zack.
After dinner, I asked Rachel to walk back down to his house with me. The whole place was still dark and closed up. We drove to his spot, but he wasn’t there either. The only evidence left that we’d been there the night before was his guitar pick. It sat at the mouth of the cave, half-buried in the sand. He must have dropped it when we gathered everything up that morning. I picked it up, fingering it lightly before putting it in my pocket.
“I just don’t know where he is,” I said, as Rach
el and I trudged back across the sand.
She put her arm around me. “I’m sure they just took off for the day. He’ll call. You’ll see him soon.”
“Let’s try one more place,” I suggested. It was Friday, and Zack had his regular gig at Phil’s Tavern. He never missed work, so even if he’d been MIA all day, he’d be at his job.
Rachel followed me through the door and up to the bar where we grabbed two seats. I was already on edge upon seeing someone who wasn’t Zack in his normal spot on the patio setting up behind the microphone, so Rachel forced me to order a drink. When I tried to order a beer, Rachel shook her head at Nina, the bartender, and ordered her to make me vodka tonic.
When Nina placed our drinks in front of us, I asked if she could get Phil, the owner, to come out so I could talk to him. If Zack wasn’t at work, maybe Phil would know where he was. I’d met Phil when I’d first gone to see Zack play. He had lived on the island for twenty years, and his bar was his life. He was a big man with red hair and kind blue eyes and a deep, rumbling laugh that shook his protruding stomach when he found something humorous.
He was also kind man who had taken good care of me once he realized who I was dating and refused to let me pay for drinks whenever I came in, which was often. Zack had been working at Phil’s every summer since he turned eighteen. I knew he sort of looked up to Phil, who was twenty years old than him and had given him his first job, as almost a second father.
“Hey Emily,” Phil said, throwing the bar rag over his broad shoulder as he came out of the kitchen. He smiled at me, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I could see the worry lines etched into his ruddy face.
“Zack’s not playing tonight?” I asked, playing it off as if I’d just come in expecting to sit outside for Zack’s set.
Phil shook his head. “No, he called me a few hours ago to let me know he wouldn’t be in, so I called Chris in to take his place.”
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