Flying Through Fire (Dark Desires)

by Nina Croft

  She had a flashback to the feel of those hands on her body, on her breasts. Her nipples peaked at the memory. She flashed a glance to his face, his firm lips held in a stern line. He’d kissed her breasts, and it had felt so good. He’d been going to make love to her. At last.

  She felt a twinge of resentment at the dead colonists of Espera. And then a twinge of guilt that she should feel that way. But the truth was, she didn’t know those people. Thousands had died over the last year, and she had known many of the people who had presumably died on Trakis Two. Thorne’s people she only knew in abstract and had always resented to some extent, as competition for his attention. She was sad for him, but not so much for them. You can’t mourn the whole world. Only those close to you.

  But somehow she needed to get through to him.

  She reached out a tentative hand and touched his leg. He didn’t react, and she squeezed her fingers into the hard muscle of his thigh, felt a tremor run through him. But other than that, he didn’t respond.

  “Thorne?”

  He turned his head slowly, but his eyes held a blankness that sent a ripple of unease through her. She wanted him back.

  “What?” he said.

  She chewed on her lip. “I’m sorry.”

  “What for?”

  She frowned. He was being difficult. “For the death of your people.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  She wanted to argue, but it was exactly what she’d been thinking only a moment ago.

  “How did you know?” he asked.

  “Saffira contacted the Blood Hunter. She had some sort of vision. She’s been trying to talk to you.” Well, talk wasn’t the right word, but whatever it was the Collective did in their heads.

  “I don’t want to talk. To anyone.”

  He turned away from her. Obviously anyone included her. “We have to talk. We have to decide what we’re going to do. We need to stop them, before they kill again.”

  “You stop them. If that’s what you want. It’s none of my business anymore.”

  “How can you say that? They killed your friends. Your precious people.”

  “You’re the one into revenge. Not me.”

  She sat for a moment, thinking this through, a niggle of panic starting deep down inside her. How did she get him to snap out of this? She’d never known him like this. He was bordering on apathetic. “So what will you do?”

  He shrugged. “Does it matter?”

  “Yes, it matters.”

  He shrugged again. “I’ll drop you off and I’ll be on my way.”

  “Where? Where will you go?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You don’t care, you mean.”

  “Maybe.” He shifted his hand and pushed hers from his thigh, then resumed his staring at the wall.

  She gnashed her teeth and got to her feet, pacing the confines of the room. It was too small; she could sense her wolf, claws scraping at her insides. Whining. Wolf wanted to help Thorne, but Candy had no clue how. Finally, she came to stand in front of him, hands on her hips.

  “Do you blame me?”

  He raised his eyes to her, still blank. “Why does everything have to be about you?”

  “Not everything. But this maybe. I know you would have gone back already if it wasn’t for me.”

  “You overestimate your attraction.”

  “No, I don’t. You were in my head. I saw how you felt. You…” She couldn’t put it into words.

  He looked away as if disinterested. “Maybe I felt a responsibility. You were a child. Alone. You’re not a child, or alone, any longer, and that responsibility is gone.”

  She paced a little more. Came back. “Look, even if you had gone home, you couldn’t have saved them. You’d probably be dead as well.” So in a way she’d saved his life. Her father had once told her that if you saved somebody, they were then your responsibility. Maybe Thorne was now hers.

  “We’ll never know. And it doesn’t matter. It’s over.”

  “But it’s not over. Those dragons are still out there, spreading their poison. Who will they kill next?” She searched her mind for something to convince him. “Saffira? They’ll keep coming after her. She’ll die.” Saffira was like a daughter to him—he’d virtually brought her up. He had to care.

  “She’ll be fine if she keeps moving.”

  “You don’t know that. They could find her.”

  “She’s not my responsibility.”

  She gritted her teeth, only narrowly resisting the urge to scream at him. She turned away. How the hell was she supposed to deal with him like this? She’d always found his need to be in charge, his sense of responsibility, to be a pain in the ass. Now she’d do anything to have it back. It was part of what made Thorne…Thorne. She had to find a way to break through to him. But it was like he cared about nothing.

  He pushed himself slowly to his feet. Even his wings drooped. He looked so defeated. She wanted to go hug him, but he was positively exuding keep-off vibes.

  “Where are we going?” he asked.

  “Trakis Four. We’re meeting up with the Blood Hunter there. There’s no sickness, so it should be…” She trailed off as she realized he was paying zero attention.

  “How long?”

  Could she lie, tell him it was longer, give her more time to try and get through to him? Surely this apathy would fade, given long enough. But he always knew when she was lying. Even without reading her mind he seemed to have some sort of inbuilt lie detector. “About twenty-four hours.”

  “I’ll drop you off there, and then I’m leaving.”

  “Where—”

  But he didn’t wait for her to finish, just walked away and into the sleeping cabin. The door slid shut behind him, and she stared at it for long minutes.

  Goddamn dragons. This was all their fault.

  …

  Thorne stood for a moment, staring into space. He could still hear her pacing in the next room, almost feel her frustration, but it didn’t seem to affect him. He was in a closed-off zone where nothing could touch him, and he liked that.

  This time he would leave her. He’d tried so many times before. Ironically, now that the reason for going had vanished into smoke and ashes, he would find it easy to walk away.

  He crossed to one of the beds and lay down, wishing he could sleep. But his need for it had vanished thousands of years ago. Saffira nudged at the edges of his consciousness, but he ignored her. She might be the last of his people, but Saffira had the crew of the Blood Hunter to look out for her now. Devlin, her man, would take care of her.

  He was tired, that was all. Maybe humans weren’t supposed to live this long. It was fundamentally wrong. He no longer believed in God, or Heaven, and was convinced that when you died, you just…stopped.

  And that sounded pretty good right now.

  Or maybe he’d head out of the Trakis system and keep going. See what was on the other side of the universe. And when the shuttle failed, he could fly. Like the dragons, he could survive in space.

  They could be killed. The Church had found that out. If the fire was hot enough, they would burn. Dragon fire would destroy him. Maybe once he’d dropped off Candy, he’d head out, find himself a dragon…and the last thing he would ever know was flying through fire.

  He experienced a sense of lightness at the thought. And with a twinge of guilt, he realized that it wasn’t so much the idea of dying, but the fact that the choice was now his.

  He had nobody. No responsibilities. He could do anything, go anywhere.

  Even if right now he couldn’t think of a damned thing he wanted to do, or a place he wanted to go.

  Except sleep.

  He closed his eyes and pretended.

  Chapter Nine

  Candy peered in through the open door. Thorne lay exactly where he’d been for the last twenty-four hours. Not even a twitch of his wings. His eyes were closed, but she was pretty sure he wasn’t sleeping.

  Thorne rarely slept. He’d once
told her that he hadn’t needed to after about a thousand years. It boggled the mind.

  She resisted the urge to prod him.

  A mixture of worry and irritation warred inside her. She had no clue how to get through to him. She wanted annoying Thorne back.

  She backed up and closed the door between them. Returning to the pilot’s seat, she sat down and opened the comm link to the Blood Hunter.

  Rico answered. “Where are you?”

  “Orbiting Trakis Four. Is everyone okay?”

  “Yeah. But Tannis, Callum, and Skylar have gone back to Trakis Two. They’re going to stay out of the way until we’re sure your boyfriend isn’t going to implode and take them all with him.”

  “He’s not my boyfriend.” Things must be grim if Rico had sent Skylar away. But it made her feel a little better that they were safe. “What about my mother and father?”

  “They’re meeting us on Four.”

  “Devlin and Saffira?”

  “On their way. Saffira is worried about your boyfriend.”

  She thought about repeating “He’s not my boyfriend,” but what was the point? “She’s right to be worried.” Maybe Saffira could get through to him. “He’s not talking. He’s sort of shut down.”

  “At least that means he’s unlikely to explode anybody’s head.”

  “Is that you looking on the bright side? I think I prefer grumpy vampire.”

  Rico laughed. “Just take care of yourself and don’t let him leave. I want to talk to him.”

  “What about?” she asked suspiciously.

  “Dragons. We’ll be there in a couple of hours.”

  “Okay.”

  Candy sat staring at the viewer for long minutes after the comm ended. Why did Rico want to talk to him about dragons?

  For the first time, it occurred to her that maybe Thorne was in danger. Rico loved Skylar; he wouldn’t allow anyone to harm her. Would he see Thorne as a threat to her? Would he try to eliminate that threat? Maybe that’s why Skylar and the others had gone away, in case things got messy.

  She chewed on her lip, undecided, and then flicked the comm back on.

  “What?” Rico answered straight away.

  “You don’t plan to get rid of him do you?”

  He was silent for a moment. “We discussed it.”

  At least he was talking to her. If he’d said an immediate “no” would she have believed him? “Who’s ‘we’?”

  “The captain. She suggested it as an option.”

  Candy’s mind raced: she needed to get out of there fast. She wasn’t sure she could protect Thorne from the vampire, and she was pretty certain Thorne wouldn’t defend himself the way he was at the moment. Behind her, the door slid open. Thorne was up. She held her breath as she waited for Rico to speak…or for Thorne to say something, but that was probably wishful thinking.

  “I said no.” Rico spoke into the silence. “At least for now. But I do want to talk to him.”

  Did she believe him? Probably, but she would be on alert.

  “Candy?”

  “Okay, we’ll be here.”

  She switched off the comm and swiveled the chair around. Thorne stood in the doorway, one shoulder leaning against the wall.

  “We won’t be here,” Thorne said. “You will. I’ll take you down to the planet, drop you off, and then I’m leaving.”

  Never going to happen.

  Though, the truth was, she certainly couldn’t take Thorne on physically; he was far stronger. Should she shoot him again? Her hand inched toward the laser pistol at her waist. His gaze dropped to follow the movement.

  “Don’t.”

  She dropped her hand to her side and studied him. He still had that blank expression and she had to fight back the urge to smash him over the head with a blunt object until he saw some sense. “Rico wants to talk to you.”

  “So I heard.”

  “Maybe he’d put you out of your misery if you asked him nicely.”

  Not a flicker of response. She gritted her teeth. She hated inaction. She needed to be out there, doing something, and this was driving her wild.

  “My father’s on his way—he’s killed your kind before. I could ask him for you. After all, if you’re not going to help us fight them, and you’re obviously not happy, why not?”

  No answer. He strolled past her and sat down in the copilot’s seat, didn’t speak as he tapped on the console and the shuttle shifted out of orbit. He hit the thrusters and they were heading down to the planet surface. She’d already input the rendezvous coordinates, and there was nothing to do but sit back and wait to make landfall. The viewer showed the approaching planet getting bigger until it filled the screens.

  Trakis Four was where the Church had their original headquarters. The place had been all but destroyed by the Rebel Coalition early on in the war. On the viewer she could make out black, burned-out buildings, the damage from the many attacks. But at least, as far as she was aware, there had been no dragon sightings here, and so hopefully no sickness. A shudder ran through her at the memory.

  They were heading south of the old Church headquarters, and as they drew close, it was clear that someone had beaten them to it. A ship stood in the clearing. Not the Blood Hunter, but a much smaller craft, presumably her parents and Angel.

  A wave of…something washed over her. Guilt, at a guess. She hadn’t spent much time with them since they’d been rescued. She was quite aware that she was paying them back for leaving her alone, however illogical that was—it had been hardly their fault, and she supposed it was a compliment that her mother had considered her capable enough to look after herself and Angel. All the same, she hadn’t been able to shift that niggle of resentment. If they’d stayed put and not gone searching for the Blood Hunter all those years ago, then the Church would never have found them. Then her mother had chosen her father over her. And again, logically, she would have neither expected, nor wanted, her mother to sacrifice her father’s life in order to stay with her. But when did logic come into something like this?

  As she accepted that, a tight band loosened from around her, a band she hadn’t even realized was there, constricting her emotions. Suddenly she felt light and bubbly. She knew they loved her, but sometimes in life a person had to make difficult choices, and sometimes they made the wrong one. She was a prime example of that—“wrong choice” could have been her middle name. But in this instance, her father had been right to go try and find his friends—because the crew of the Blood Hunter would have done the same for him. One of the captain’s inbuilt rules was never, ever leave a crew member behind. And her mother had been right to give herself up to save his life. Because while someone was alive, there was always hope.

  All at once, she was desperate to get down there, to hug them and apologize for being such a bitch.

  But she couldn’t leave Thorne behind. Because she had an inkling that the second she turned her back on him, he would vanish in a puff of smoke. Some instinct warned her that if he went off on his own now, in the mood he was in, she would never see him again. So he couldn’t be allowed to go.

  “Your parents are here,” Thorne said.

  “Yeah.” She cast him a sideways glance, but still no change.

  “I suggest you go join them. You’ll be safe with them.”

  At least he was thinking about her safety, so he hadn’t completely zoned out. “You want to come and say hello?” It was a lame thing to say, but Thorne and her father had become good friends in the time before her father was captured.

  “No.” When she didn’t move, his eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. The tips of his wings vibrated. It was the first sign of any emotion since he’d discovered his people were dead. It gave her a flicker of hope that Thorne was in there somewhere, if she could just find the way to drag him to the surface. “Go, Candy.”

  “I can’t leave you like this.”

  He studied her for a moment. “I will forcibly eject you from this shuttle if you do not leave. Now.”


  She gnawed on her lower lip. The words had held no emotion, which made them all the more powerful, and she had absolutely no doubt that he would do what he threatened. She pushed herself slowly to her feet, but couldn’t make herself walk away. “Please, Thorne, don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone.”

  “You’re not alone. You have your family, and the Blood Hunter will be here soon.”

  “I don’t want them. I want you.”

  “Well, you never did learn that you can’t always have everything you want. Go.”

  She wiped her hands down her thighs as she headed to the door. Thorne flicked a switch on the console so that the outer door opened and the warm air blew in, filled with the scent of pine and heat. Her mind worked furiously as she walked very slowly. She peered back over her shoulder. Thorne wasn’t even watching her; instead he was punching a flight plan into the console, already planning his escape.

  Goddammit. She wasn’t going to allow him to walk away.

  At the doorway, she stumbled. As she righted herself, she drew her laser pistol and whirled around. He was paying attention now. She lifted the pistol in her hand. He rose to his feet.

  Time seemed to slow. But she didn’t aim for him. Instead she focused her pistol on the shuttle’s console, pressed the trigger, and blasted a hole straight through it.

  Thorne appeared shell-shocked, and she took advantage and blasted some more. No way was this shuttle going anywhere anytime soon—or ever again, probably. Her hand dropped to her side, and she switched her attention from the blasted console to Thorne. Well, if nothing else, she’d got some emotion from him. He radiated raw fury, his eyes glowing, his wings vibrating.

  “Goddamned, undisciplined brat.”

  She held her breath and waited for her head to explode.

  When nothing happened, she spun around and ran.

  She took the space to the other shuttle at a flat out sprint, not even glancing behind her. As she got close, the docking bay doors slid open, and she hurtled up the ramp. A tall figure stood at the top, and she didn’t hesitate, just launched herself at him. His arms opened and she leaped into them, then they were wrapping around her and a wonderful sense of safety engulfed her. She breathed in the warm, musky scent of werewolf and knew she was home.