Flying Through Fire (Dark Desires)

by Nina Croft

  Candy grinned. “I’ve matured.”

  “Hmm. We’ll see. Come on, let’s go.”

  Thorne gave Saffira and Devlin an hour alone. That was time enough for them to get the more insistent urges out of their systems. Callum was questioning Candy about dragons, and it looked like he wasn’t going to let her go anytime soon. Tannis was observing with amusement, while she sipped her drink. She caught his gaze, and hers dropped to where Candy had hold of his hand as if she was scared to let him go.

  “So you two finally got it together?” Tannis said.

  He nodded, but he didn’t want to talk about his relationship with Candy. Maybe because it was too new. Or more likely because it was about to be over before it had hardly begun. Instead, he reached out for Saffira. He found her sleepy and sated, but at least she answered him. “What is it?”

  “We need to talk.”

  She was silent for a moment, and then she gave a mental nod. “Come here.”

  “We need to talk alone.”

  “No, we don’t. Devlin gets to hear whatever you have to say.”

  He didn’t like it, but he had expected it. “I’ll be there in five. Put some clothes on.”

  He heard her mental giggle. When he returned his attention to the room, everyone was staring at him.

  “I need to talk to Saffira.” He squeezed Candy’s hand and then tugged his free. She eyed him suspiciously, and he forced a smile and kept his mind blank. “I won’t be long.”

  “Should I come?”

  “She wanted to speak to me alone. You stay and fill Callum in on dragons.”

  She pursed her lips, not looking happy, but in the end gave a nod. “Okay. We’ll see you back here?”

  “Yes.”

  He could feel her eyes on him as he rose to his feet and left the room, but she and Callum were talking again before the doors shut. He headed straight for the cabin Saffira shared with Devlin. As he raised his hand to the panel, the door slid open. Saffira’s little dog, Devil, dashed out. Saffira had brought the dog with her from Earth; he’d spent five hundred years with her in cryo until the crew of the Blood Hunter had rescued her and woken the two of them up. The dog ran back again, sniffed his leg, raced into the cabin, and leaped on top of the bed. Saffira scooped him up, kissed his nose, and placed him onto the floor as Thorne stepped inside.

  “Come in,” Devlin said wryly, dragging a T-shirt over his head and running a hand through his hair. “What’s so urgent?”

  Huh, how about saving the whole fucking universe from fire and pestilence. But he didn’t say that. He shoved his hands into his pockets and considered how to begin. He’d thought he had it all worked out, but now that he was here, he wasn’t so sure. He was asking her to risk her life. She’d done enough for mankind; it didn’t seem fair.

  She was dressed in black pants and a pink shirt, her feet were bare, and it was obvious she’d just gotten out of bed. The anguish that had filled her expression was gone. She seemed happy, as though she had come to peace with her loss.

  As she returned his gaze, a stubborn expression filled her eyes. “I’m not going to run away. I’ve already talked about it with Devlin, and I can’t do it.”

  “What if we all came with you?” He didn’t know why he said that. It really wasn’t an option; he’d already accepted that.

  “It would make no difference. We can’t take the whole human race. I brought this on the world, and I need to sort it out.”

  “We brought it.”

  Something flashed in her eyes. She rose to her feet and crossed the room to him. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she rested her head on his chest and stood like that for a minute. He stroked her hair, and then glanced up, his gaze clashing with Devlin’s.

  “Tell me you have some sort of plan,” Devlin said. “Tell me we have a chance.”

  “We have a chance.” He gave a rueful shrug. “Just not a very big one.”

  “Well, I always did like to fight against the odds.”

  Saffira tugged free and stepped back. “Tell us.”

  He took a deep breath. “We’re going to lure them all through the black hole at Trakis One, and then we’re going to blow the fucker up and they’ll be stranded in their own universe.”

  “Doesn’t sound like much of a plan.”

  Actually, Devlin was right. It didn’t sound like much of anything, but it was a start. And it was all he had right now.

  “Have you discussed it with the others?” Saffira asked.

  “No, not yet.” He turned away, so he could think how best to say this. “I don’t want Candy involved.”

  Devlin snorted. “Well, good luck with that. She’s never exactly done as she’s told. You tell her to stay behind and that’s a certain guarantee she’ll stick like glue, or follow or…”

  “Which is why she has to decide she’s staying of her own accord.”

  “You can’t keep her out of this, Thorne.” Saffira sounded shocked.

  “I can. This is not Candy’s fight, but she won’t see it that way. So we keep it from her, or we don’t do it.”

  “And then what do you see happening?”

  “We all die.”

  “I don’t like it,” Saffira murmured.

  He hardened his expression. “You don’t have to like it. It’s not your decision.” He turned to Devlin, determined to change the subject. He was certain Saffira had more to say, and he didn’t want to talk about it. He was decided. “How are you coming along with the explosives?”

  “Just about done.”

  “Good.”

  “Thorne—” Saffira said.

  He whirled around to her. “This is not negotiable. She walks away.”

  Saffira chewed her lips, and then gave a little nod. “So how are you going to make that happen?”

  He was going to lie. And that was hard with someone who could read your thoughts. “We tell her we’re running. Make her believe you’re taking us to safety. No way will she come with us. She still believes she can save the world.”

  “So do you. Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

  “Maybe, but I no longer believe I’m invincible. And Candy does.” He rubbed his scalp, pressed a finger to his forehead. “You saw what happened last time. She came after me and nearly died because of that. I won’t have it.”

  “And what if she decides to come with us?”

  “She won’t.” She would never run away. And she’d hate him for running. Part of her attraction to him had always been that she saw him as some sort of hero. Time for her to see a different side of him. Once this was over, maybe then she would understand and forgive him. But he had a deep-rooted conviction that he wouldn’t be here to see it. He wasn’t entirely sure how this would go down. But any options he came up with didn’t include him seeing Candy again. Something dark rose up inside him at the thought, but he pushed it down. What choice did he have? However much he searched his mind, he couldn’t formulate a set of circumstances that would ensure they would all come out of this alive.

  “I saw you burn,” Saffira murmured. “But my visions don’t always come true. I wish I’d never told you. It’s not inevitable.”

  “No, it’s not inevitable, and if it doesn’t happen we’ll come back and she’ll understand.”

  “Somehow I doubt that,” Devlin muttered. “But it’s your choice. What will you tell the others?”

  “The truth. They’ll go along with it. They’ll see it’s the only way.”

  At least it was out in the open now, and while regret for what would never be filled his mind, he also felt a sense of liberation. Maybe he had never really believed he could have her. She’d always been something unobtainable and out of reach.

  This way he wouldn’t have to see her walk away.

  …

  Something was wrong, but she couldn’t get her head around what it could be. When Thorne had returned from his meeting with Saffira, he’d dragged Candy back to his room. He’d made sweet love to her, but however close
the physical bond, he was holding something back. She’d never given much consideration to the telepathic thing, had never believed it would ever be part of her life. After all, the source of Meridian had been destroyed, and she could never have envisaged been dragged into another universe. But once it had happened, she’d thought a lot about how it would be when she actually got back to the real world—to be in someone’s head, knowing their thoughts and feelings.

  But it wasn’t some magical entry into the world of another. She couldn’t read everything going on in Thorne’s head, only what he allowed her to see. Though, she suspected that the opposite wasn’t true. Thorne was powerful. If he wanted to, he could no doubt pry into her deepest thoughts.

  And the really weird thing was—she didn’t mind. She loved the idea of his knowing how she felt. She had nothing to hide.

  Unlike Thorne.

  He’d gone out to check something with Devlin, then there was a meeting with the rest of the crew. She hoped they were going to do something proactive. Go kick some dragon ass. She had a couple of ideas.

  As she was pulling on her boots, the door opened, and there he was.

  She glanced up and went still. He had a grim, determined expression on his face, as though he was readying for a fight, then the expression was wiped away.

  “I thought you’d already be at the meeting?” she said.

  He came into the room and leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets. “I wanted to talk to you first.”

  A sense of dread rose inside her. Something bad was about to happen, and she wanted to block off her ears to stop whatever was coming. “What is it?”

  “I’ve talked to Saffira. We’ve come to a decision.”

  She licked her lips. “And that is?”

  “We’re leaving. We’re going to go somewhere safe, and we won’t be coming back.”

  “Where the hell is safe? Nowhere is safe. They’ll find you.”

  “We’ll go where they can’t follow. Back in time.”

  She swallowed, pushing down her panic. “You’ll come back?”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  She resisted the urge to shake him. Instead, she searched her mind for an argument that would persuade him to stay. “What about your idea to blow up the black hole at Trakis One? That could work. We get them all there, lure them through—”

  He held up a hand to stop her, and she bit her tongue. “I’ve thought about it, considered it from every angle. And the truth is, perhaps we could make it work.”

  “Well then?”

  “But I would die.”

  “You don’t know that. There could be a way. We just have to think a bit longer.”

  “I’ve thought of every option, every parameter, and there is no way I can do this and survive. Saffira saw me burn.” He stepped closer and reached up to cup her cheek. “If there is one thing you have given me back, it’s the will to live. I don’t want to die.”

  He really meant to do this. He couldn’t. She wouldn’t allow him to. There had to be a way to stop him. “What about us?” She held her breath. Had he believed she wouldn’t ask? That she would let him go so easily?

  “You could come with us.”

  For a minute, she actually considered it. Thought about running and hiding and living somewhere—except it wouldn’t be living, it would be existing. And she would come to resent Thorne, because he had made her do it, and she’d come to hate herself because she had run away.

  Would the others go? Would she be left here alone if she stayed?

  But she didn’t need anyone. She’d looked after herself before, she could do it again.

  One more try. “I love you.”

  “I know. I love you, but it changes nothing.”

  How could it change nothing? Ultimately it was all that mattered.

  “I’m old. I want peace, Candace.”

  She pushed down her despair and let her anger rise. “I never thought you would give up. You were the one person I could always rely on. And it was a lie.” She grabbed her laser belt from the cabinet and strapped it around her waist, marched toward the door. “Let’s get this over with. We wouldn’t want to delay your trip.”

  She went directly to the bridge where everyone was already waiting. As she took a seat beside Angel, they were all watching her like she was some sort of bomb about to explode. Maybe she’d been a little volatile in the past, but she was over that phase. Thorne didn’t sit beside her, but why should he? Instead, he went to stand beside Saffira and Devlin.

  “So you’ve decided?” he said, speaking to Tannis, who was pacing the floor of the bridge fizzing with energy.

  “We’re not coming,” she said.

  Candy let out her breath and loosened her grip on the arms of the chair. So she wouldn’t be left entirely on her own.

  “Why?”

  “Because we freaking like it here, that’s why. This is home, and I’m too goddamned stubborn to let a bunch of flying monsters run me off.”

  Thorne turned to Rico and Skylar. “What about you?”

  “We’re staying as well,” Rico said.

  “And we’re staying,” Fergal said. “Daisy needs to be near Rico—she still has too much vampire shit to learn.”

  “She might never get a chance,” Thorne replied.

  “Never say never. Look, we know you have to go.” Fergal might know that, but Candy didn’t agree. “They’ll never stop coming after the two of you. If you stay, then you’ll eventually lead them to us.”

  “Not if we kill them,” Candy said. She’d been trying to keep quiet, but there was such an air of defeat about them all. She wanted to get up and shake every one of them.

  “We can’t fight that many,” Tannis said. “I have to think of the safety of my crew.”

  “Your crew will only be safe when the dragons are dead.”

  “And how will we do that? You got a plan?”

  “Not yet, but I’ll think of one.”

  Tannis heaved a sigh. “Leave it, will you, kid?”

  Candy thought about pointing out that she was, in fact, older than Tannis now. “But we have to do something.” She sounded forlorn. But otherwise she might as well go and hide away with Thorne.

  “We’ll survive,” Tannis replied. “For now, that’s all we can do.”

  Candy looked around the sea of faces. Everyone appeared resigned and apathetic. Defeated. She caught Saffira’s gaze but she glanced away. Daisy gave her a smile of sympathy, but she didn’t want sympathy. She’d idolized these people all her life and now she felt as though she had been lied to. They weren’t the heroes she’d been led to believe.

  “The shuttle is ready,” Devlin said. “We’re leaving.”

  “Now? Right away?”

  Thorne said nothing, and Devlin shrugged. “There’s nothing to wait for, and the longer we hang around the more likely we are to draw them to you.”

  This wasn’t happening. She rose to her feet, her legs shaking, but found herself fixed in place, unable to move as Devlin headed for the door. Saffira followed. Candy closed her eyes, not wanting to see Thorne walk away from her. But when she opened them, he’d paused at the door. He looked back, straight at her.

  “I love you.”

  The words whispered through her mind, so insubstantial she might have imagined them. And then he was gone, and she was left staring at the empty doorway. She was haunted by that last image of him. He’d appeared so…lost, and she’d wanted to run and hug him. But he didn’t want her, not enough to stay and fight. Everything hurt inside, and she thought her heart might be broken.

  She must be in shock, because she couldn’t seem to move. Angel touched her arm lightly. “Are you okay?”

  No, she wasn’t okay. She was as far from okay as it was possible. But she managed a weak nod.

  Daisy came up beside her. “Go and say good-bye,” she whispered.

  “I can’t.” She was filled with so much anger and pain and despair. And betrayal. In effect, he was saying
she wasn’t worth the fight. But hadn’t that always been the way? She was pathetic.

  “Yes, you can, or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Which is going to be a very, very long time.”

  Suddenly, it exploded in her mind. This was it. This time she would really never see him again. And she was off running. She ran all the way, avoiding the transporter bubbles, needing to move, not to think, or she might stop in her tracks. As she entered the docking bay, they were climbing the ramp. They must have heard her because they turned as one. Devlin whispered something to Saffira and they disappeared into the shuttle, leaving Thorne standing alone.

  She ran toward him; he opened his arms and she flew into them, burrowed her head in the crook of his shoulder, breathed in the familiar scent she might never encounter again. She raised her head. “Good-bye, Thorne.” She didn’t try and persuade him to stay; it was too late for that. “I want you to know that I’ll always love you, and you’ll always be the best part of me.”

  A faint smile hovered on his lips for a second and then was gone. “I love you.” He kissed her gently, then drew back and set her on her feet. “Have a good life, and do many, many wonderful things. Have faith in yourself—you’re the best and never believe otherwise.”

  And then he was gone.

  This time she didn’t go after him, just stood and watched as the shuttle took off and disappeared through the docking bay doors. They closed, leaving her alone.

  She nearly collapsed to the floor, but she didn’t want everyone to see her break down. At some point she was going to have to persuade them to fight with her. She didn’t need to let them see her as a sniveling, whining, broken thing.

  So she straightened her shoulders and marched past the small group who stood inside the doorway. She didn’t look at them directly; she couldn’t face the expressions of pity. She went straight back to her room and stripped off her clothes. At the last second she called out, “Thorne,” but there was no answer, and so she shifted, laid her head down between her paws, and waited for the sharp edge of pain to dull.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight