From War to Forever

by Andria Large

  “Hi, guys, my name is Regan, and I’ll be your waitress tonight. Can I start you off with something to drink?” she asks, her voice low and sultry. I think she wants more than to get us a drink.

  “I’ll have a lemonade,” I say.

  She flashes me a sexy smile as she writes it down. “Sure, handsome.” Regan then turns to Tucker. “And for you, Blue Eyes?”

  He gives her his naturally cocky smirk and orders water with lemon. I watch in fascination as she basically eye-fucks us before she saunters off to get our drinks. I slowly turn back to look at Tucker. He’s watching her ass sway. He finally swings his gaze back to meet mine, his mind working, I can tell.

  “What?” I ask.

  “I’ll bet you any amount of money we could have a threesome with her,” he signs quickly.

  I gape at him before sputtering out, “What? No!”

  He holds up his hand. “Wait, hear me out.”

  I shake my head. “No way. Not going to happen.”

  “Dude, maybe you would feel better if I’m there with you, ya know? You wouldn’t be alone with some chick you don’t know. Come on, man. Maybe if you get it done and get it out of the way, you can move on.”

  “No. Definitely not, Tucker. She’s too young anyway.”

  “She’s not that young,” he argues, his eyes glinting in amusement.

  “You do her, then. I don’t want her.”

  He snickers. “Fine. More for me. You don’t know what you’re missing.”

  “I’d rather do just you than you and her,” I blurt.

  Tucker’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise for all of a second before he gives me a sultry look and wags those eyebrows at me. “Hey there, sexy. You want some of this?”

  I can’t help but smile. “Shut up, dickhead. You know what I mean.”

  Regan comes back with our drinks and takes our orders. Tucker turns his charm on full blast and winks at her, making her giggle. I can’t help but roll my eyes. He just has this way with women. They all seem to fall at his feet. I mean, he’s a good-looking dude and has a really nice, really built body, so naturally women are attracted to him. But I think his bright blue eyes and his naturally sexy smile is what enraptures them. And what kills me is that he fucking knows it and uses it to his advantage.

  Regan brings us the check when we’re all finished and the table is cleared. “I hope you boys come back and see me again soon.” She smirks knowingly.

  “Oh, I think you’ll at least see me again,” Tucker rumbles, sending a heated gaze over her body. “Why don’t you write your number down for me so I can give you a call?”

  “You got it,” she purrs and writes her number on the back of our receipt.

  “I’m Tucker,” he says.

  He holds out his hand for her to shake, and when she places her hand in his, he flips it so he can kiss her knuckles, making her laugh. Smooth, Tucker, real smooth.

  “Well, Tucker, I look forward to hearing from you,” she says softly before walking away. She glances over her shoulder and gives us a wave before disappearing into the kitchen.

  I look at Tucker, who is biting his bottom lip to hide his smile.

  “You’re too much. You know that?” I chuckle.

  He shrugs. After we pay the bill, we walk back down the block to my car. Tucker took a cab to get to this side of Brooklyn, which is on the opposite end of the borough from where we live. So we both hop in my car and head home to get some much-needed sleep.

  Chapter Two

  TUCKER

  WORKING AS an IT tech at a pharmaceutical company isn’t my dream job, but it pays the bills, and it’s enjoyable. It was difficult at first with my hearing disability, but now that everyone knows about it, communicating has become a lot easier. Usually if someone is having a problem with their computer, they call the IT department. Well, I can’t hear the phone, so they have to send me an e-mail explaining what the problem is. I’m not the only one in my department, so if people prefer to actually talk to someone on the phone, they can still do that as well.

  It’s a nine-to-five job with a salary and benefits. Can’t beat that. Although I do have to wear a tie every day, which I hate. They are so uncomfortable. But whatever. I gotta do what I gotta do.

  I’ve always loved computers. It’s my dad, Tom’s, fault; he’s a computer genius. He’s retired now, but he used to design websites for big-time companies. I was always fascinated by what he did, and I’d sit for hours next to him, just watching him work. My dad is also a Marine, as was my grandfather, and his father before that. My dad never forced me to follow in his footsteps, but I felt the need to continue the tradition and prove myself to him and make him proud. I have, and he’s told me many times over.

  My dad takes care of my mom, Sherry, full-time. She has early onset Alzheimer’s and is slowly deteriorating. She already doesn’t know who I am and sometimes can’t remember who my dad is either. It breaks my heart, not only for me but for my dad. I can’t imagine having the woman I love not know who I am. The doctors don’t think she will last more than a couple more years, if that.

  I have an older brother, Rhys, who I am fairly close with. We text at least once a week. He lives in the Mayfair section of Philadelphia with his wife, Selene, and my nephew, Max. It’s a good two-hour drive from Brooklyn. Rhys moved to Philly for Selene, since that’s where she’s from and where her family is. She’s a nice girl, and she really treats my brother well. Max just turned one and is so fucking cute I can’t stand it. We FaceTime as much as possible, and I try to get there at least once a month to see my little dude.

  It’s been a few days since Dennis and I went to the diner and talked about having a threesome with that waitress chick, Regan. Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking, offering something like that. I’ve never had a threesome with another guy. I feel the need to help him get out of this horrible funk he’s in. He thinks he’s going to be alone forever. It’s not going to happen. He needs to have sex with someone, so he can understand he’s capable of moving on. He doesn’t have to be alone. He can find love again. He just has to try. He turned down the threesome idea, but maybe I can talk him into going out with Arianna again.

  I wait up for Dennis in hopes I can talk to him about Arianna. He walks in the door at 2:15 a.m., looking tired. He gives me a nod, then yanks off his shirt. He rolls his sinewy shoulders and stretches his neck from side to side. His chest flexes as he moves. My gaze slithers down to his abs, which bunch and relax under his lightly tanned skin. I literally have to force myself to stop staring at his body, which… is so not usual for me. What’s gotten into me? I lift my eyes to his face and wait for him to look at me. When he does, I ask him how his night was.

  “Some stupid asshole spit on me,” he says, his lip curling in disgust as he tosses his shirt toward the hallway.

  He heads for the kitchen, and I get up to follow him. I lean against the island counter as he goes into the fridge and grabs a bottle of water. He cracks it open and tilts his head back as he guzzles half. My attention is inexplicably drawn to his throat, watching his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. What the fuck is going on? Why do I have the urge to go over there and drag my tongue over the long line of his exposed throat? I have never been attracted to a man in my life. So why am I having this reaction to Dennis?

  Dennis finishes the bottle and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. I can tell he’s in a shit mood, and I probably shouldn’t bring up Arianna, but I don’t know when there will be a good time to bring her up. I doubt he’s going to want to hear it, whether he’s in a decent mood or not.

  “So, I’ve been thinking….”

  “That’s never a good thing,” he teases dryly.

  I give him a bored look. “Annnyway, since the threesome is out, why not give Arianna another shot? Maybe if you date her for a while, you’ll start to feel something for her.”

  I can’t decipher the look Dennis gives me. He’s silent for a few seconds before he finally shakes his head. “I do
n’t think that’s a good idea.”

  I frown. “Why not?”

  Dennis’s gaze turns tortured, and it tears my heart apart. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower and head to bed,” he says, without any explanation why he doesn’t want to try to make things work with Arianna.

  “Denny….”

  He shakes his head again as he passes me and closes himself in the bathroom.

  Figuring I better not push it, I go to my room and climb into bed. I really need to think of a way to help him. I know he wants to move on, but he’s just stuck. I hate seeing him like this. Another woman is obviously not going to be the answer. The only thing I can think of is to give him support and comfort. Screw this. He shouldn’t be alone after he came home feeling so down. Tossing my covers aside, I get up and go into Dennis’s room. I snuggle under his blanket and wait for him to get done in the shower.

  DENNIS

  WHEN I walk into my room, I’m surprised to see Tucker curled up in my bed, his dark hair standing out against the white backdrop of the pillowcase. My heart does a little, excited flip for some reason. He always looks so handsome when his hair’s a mess. I frown to myself. Since when do I have thoughts about how handsome Tucker is?

  I grab a pair of briefs from my dresser before going over to my side of the bed. Tossing my towel on top of my dirty pile of clothes on the floor, I sit my naked ass down on the edge of the bed.

  “Thanks for the show, Denny,” Tucker murmurs, and I can hear the smile in his tone. Glancing over my shoulder at him, I send him a wink, making him huff out a laugh.

  I put on my briefs, then take off my prosthetic. I turn off the lamp and lie down next to Tucker. Getting comfortable on my back, I close my eyes with a weary sigh. I’m fucking exhausted. Tucker shifts next to me, and I jump a little bit when he slings his arm across my chest and nuzzles his nose against my cheek. Contentment and peace wash over me. What is it about Tucker that makes me feel this way when he’s near me? I mean, I love him because he’s my best friend, so maybe that’s why? I place my hand on his arm, holding on to the one constant thing in my life right now. He never fails to be there for me when I need him. He means so much to me.

  When I turn my face toward his, my heart leaps into my throat when our lips accidentally brush. Tucker’s eyes fly open as he sucks in a sharp breath. Those blue orbs stare into mine, but he doesn’t back away like I expect him to. My blood is pounding through my veins. I haven’t felt this kind of excitement since the first time I kissed Zara.

  I close my eyes and lean into him, pressing my lips firmly against his, and Tucker kisses me back. I gasp at the thrill that shoots through me from such a little touch. Fuck. It feels so good to be kissed. Let me rephrase that. It feels so good to be kissed by someone I care deeply about. Arianna kissed me and I didn’t feel a thing. I’m guessing because I felt nothing for her. But this is Tucker, the guy who knows everything about me and then some.

  His lips are warm and firm, so unlike a woman’s lips. A strong hand clamps down on the back of my neck, and my heart flutters madly. I force my tongue past his lips, and a surge of raw lust careens through me. I moan into his mouth as our tongues tangle and twist around each other. His fingers tighten on my neck. The kiss turns fierce and possessive. Our teeth bump a few times, but I don’t give a shit, and I don’t think Tucker does either. I’ve never experienced a kiss like this in my life. It’s savage and raw and needy. I don’t ever want it to end.

  Tucker wraps his arms around me, and his fingers dig into the muscles of my back as he tries to pull me closer. That’s when I realize my hard-on is pressed against his. Tearing myself away from him, I roll onto my back, chest heaving as I try to catch my breath. Holy shit, did I really kiss another man?

  “Holy shit,” Tucker pants.

  I look over at him, blinking like a kid who got caught eating the last piece of cake. “I… I don’t know what came over me,” I admit. “I’m sorry.”

  “Hey, don’t apologize. It’s okay,” he soothes, placing his hand over my thundering heart.

  I swallow hard and nod. Oh God, I hope I didn’t fuck things up between us. Tucker kissed me back, but it was probably a reaction to being kissed first. “Let’s forget that happened and go to sleep, okay?”

  He frowns. “Sure.”

  Placing my back to him, I try to beat down my anxiety. What the hell did I do? I may have just lost my best friend because of a kiss. The bed moves behind me, and I’m positive he’s getting up to go back to his room. So when he plasters his front against my back, I’m pretty surprised. His arm comes around my waist, and he burrows his face into the back of my neck. Maybe it really is okay like he said? I hope so, because I couldn’t bear to lose him.

  What would Zara think of me kissing someone I care so much about and enjoying it as much as I did? Guilt lodges in my gut. If I had done a better job of saving her, this never would have happened. She’d be the one I’m kissing and holding right now.

  Chapter Three

  DENNIS

  “HOW ARE you doing, Denny?” Lizette asks from her seat across the table. She’s looking cute as usual, her hair up in a messy bun. She’s wearing jeans and a fitted, white T-shirt, an oversized red-and-black flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up over top. I’m suspecting she stole it off Beau, but she can totally rock it and still look girly.

  Since Lizette is Renegade’s manager and is married to Beau, she goes out on the road with them when they are doing shows and stuff. They were actually out of town for the past few weeks doing some promoting, so we haven’t had our usual weekly date in a little while. We do most of our catching up when we’re together because our schedules are so mismatched that it’s hard to have long phone conversations.

  I shrug and take a sip of my water. We are having an early dinner at one of our favorite burger joints. The kiss I shared with Tucker was a couple of weeks ago, and I feel myself slowly spiraling downward. My thoughts have turned darker. We haven’t kissed again, nor has it even been brought up. We went about our business the next day like it never happened, but I can’t shake the feeling I betrayed Zara by kissing someone I care about the way I do Tucker. Kissing Arianna didn’t matter because she meant nothing to me. Having serious feelings for another person, though, that’s totally different. Plus, there’s always the fact I wouldn’t be in this position had I gotten to Zara faster. There had to have been something I could have done differently that would have saved her life.

  I really just want to end this miserable life I’m living. Especially since today is the four-year anniversary of Zara’s death, something I do not want to remind Lizette of. I don’t want to see the sadness in her eyes for me.

  Lizette frowns at me. “Dennis? What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it, especially with you,” I grumble.

  “What is that supposed to mean? Especially not with me?” she asks in confusion but then seems to have an aha moment. “Is it sexual in nature?”

  Heat crawls up my cheeks.

  She sighs. “Dennis, I’m a grown woman. I know all about sex, and I’m not a prude. You think I don’t know you have sex? Come on,” she scoffs.

  I drop my face into my hands. “Jesus Christ,” I groan. This is not something I want to talk about with my sister.

  Her soft hand lands on my forearm. “Just tell me what happened.”

  I clear my throat and glance at her. She gives me a gentle smile and nods, urging me to tell her. Fuck me.

  “I… uh… I haven’t slept with anyone since Zara…,” I rasp.

  “Holy shit, you haven’t had sex in almost four years?” she whispers fiercely across the table, looking aghast.

  “No,” I say and rub my face to try to rid myself of embarrassment. It’s not working, though.

  “How do you not explode?” she asks in amazement.

  I close my eyes in mortification. I shake my head. “I can’t talk about this with you, Lizzie. It’s too weird.”

  “Oh come on, Denny,”
she huffs.

  I make an aggravated noise and stare at her. “Fine. I still jerk off. It’s not like I haven’t gotten any relief.”

  She smirks, her eyes sparkling in amusement. “Okay. So what’s the problem?”

  “I kissed someone.”

  “Yeah? Was it good?” she asks.

  “It was incredible,” I blurt before I can catch myself. “Shit.” I sigh, hating myself a little more for admitting that out loud.

  Lizette’s eyebrows shoot up. “Okay, so if it was so incredible, then why do you look so depressed?”

  Depressed, that’s exactly what I am. I pinch the bridge of my nose. I know she’s going to have a fit about what I’m going to tell her next. “I feel like I betrayed Zara and let her down.”

  I can’t bring myself to look across the table at my sister. I don’t want to see the pity I’m sure is all over her face. When Lizette remains silent, I can’t help but glance up at her. Her face is full of sorrow and helplessness. Not what I expected. I expected pity and irritation. I figured she would scoff and tell me I’m being ridiculous.

  She shakes her head slightly before tucking a wayward strand of her hair behind her ear. “I wish I knew what to say to that, Dennis, but I don’t. I’m sure you already know it’s silly to think like that because she’s gone, but I also know you can’t control how you feel.”

  I give her a terse nod and look down at my food. I had a burger—which I already ate—and fries that I’m still picking at. The burger was okay. Nothing really tastes all that great to me anymore. I don’t enjoy anything I eat. There isn’t much of anything I enjoy anymore. I feel nothing. I have nothing…. Why am I even here?

  “Dennis,” Lizette says, placing her hand over mine and bringing me out of my dark thoughts.

  I lift my gaze to hers. She’s concerned about me; that much is clear.

  “I think it’s time for you to find a new therapist, because obviously this one is not helping you. I haven’t seen you like this since before you went into the VA,” she says gently. I know she’s trying not to upset me.