From War to Forever

by Andria Large

  “I’ve been out of work for the past two weeks, and luckily I live with someone who can pay my share when needed, so no, I don’t have any money right now,” I grit out.

  I honestly hate this man. I don’t care if he’s my father. I hate him. And he totally didn’t deny he would go buy booze with the money. Bastard.

  “What the fuck were you out of work for?” he demands.

  “None of your business,” I snarl.

  Yeah, because that’s exactly what I need. No doubt they will blame Lizette for me trying to kill myself. I really don’t want them accusing her of that.

  “I’m your father. Everything that happens to you is my business!”

  I laugh bitterly. “Yeah, I don’t think so.”

  “Boy, don’t make me come over there and beat your ass!”

  “I’d like to see you try,” I sneer.

  “I will take that fucking prosthetic leg of yours and beat you with it!”

  “That’s fucking classy, Dad, thanks.” I snort and hang up on him.

  I toss my cell on the coffee table. It rings again, but I let it go. I’m not going to listen to him rant at me for no reason. Fucking drunken asshole. I wish I could block him and my mom from calling, but they’re always using different phones, so it’s practically impossible. I glance over my shoulder at Tucker. He seems so much younger when he’s sleeping. I mean, he is still young at thirty-three, but he looks like he’s twenty-three when he’s sleeping. I reach back and sift my fingers through his dark hair. My dream is still in the front of my mind. Zara. Damn, she was so beautiful, exactly as I remember. My heart aches with how badly I miss her. But her words… her words are what stick out the most. Could Tucker really be my forever person? And is she right that I did everything I could to save her?

  Tucker pulls in a deep breath and drags his eyes open. He smiles softly. “Hey.”

  I return the smile. “Hi.”

  “Ugh, what time is it?” he groans.

  I glance at the clock on the wall over the TV. “It’s 2:00 a.m.”

  Tuck grunts as he pulls himself out of the crack of the couch. He scoots by me and stands. He stretches out his muscled frame, cracking and popping joints as he goes.

  “Shit, that was a sucky position for my back,” he mutters.

  “Yeah.”

  Tucker frowns at me, smoothing his hand over my hair. “Hey, you okay?”

  I give him a tight smile. “My dad called.”

  His face hardens. He knows all about my abusive, alcoholic parents.

  “What did he want?”

  “Money, as usual.” I sigh.

  “When did he call?”

  “About two minutes ago.”

  “He calls you at two in the morning asking for money?” Tucker asks in disgust.

  “He’s a drunk. He doesn’t care what time it is,” I mumble.

  Tucker moves his hand to the back of my neck, where he gives me a squeeze. “Fuck him.”

  I nod.

  “Come on, let’s go to bed,” Tucker says.

  I stand. A jolt of pain shoots up my right leg. I gasp and grab my thigh.

  “You okay?” Tucker asks, his hand on my back.

  “Yeah, yeah. My leg just hurts.” I make sure to look at him when I speak so he can read my lips.

  “Want some aspirin?”

  I nod. “Yes, please.”

  “I gotcha, bud.” He heads for the bathroom.

  I hobble to Tucker’s bedroom and drop heavily onto the edge of the bed, then take off my prosthetic. I bend my knee so I can reach where my leg was amputated. I have about half my lower leg left, and sometimes it just hurts for no reason. Sometimes there’s an itch on my right foot, and when I go to scratch it, there is no foot. I rub what’s left of my calf muscle to try to ease some of the ache. Tucker comes in with a glass of water and the pills and hands them to me. I down them with the water, and Tucker takes the glass and sets it on the dresser.

  Tucker shucks his sweats and kicks them into the pile in the corner. He climbs into bed and pulls the sheet up to his waist. He motions with his head for me to join him. I slip under them too and scoot over to him. He pulls me up against him, wrapping his arm around me, forcing me to lie with half my body over his. He grabs my right leg behind my knee and pulls it up so it’s resting over his hips. He then proceeds to rub my whole leg in soothing circles, kneading the muscles with his fingers.

  Is it weird that I’m suddenly very emotional? My eyes burn with the threat of tears. I’ve never had someone care for me the way Tucker does. Yes, I know my sister and Beau care about me, but there are just things they can’t do. Like hold me and rub my aching leg. I know Zara would have done it, but she’s not here. Tucker is.

  TUCKER

  THE NEXT few days rush by in a blur. Dennis and I are both working again and have barely seen each other, since our schedules are so different. Dennis has been crawling into my bed when he gets home from work, but for the most part, I don’t even know he’s there until morning when I find him sleeping next to me. I obviously don’t hear him come in, but I must also be in a pretty deep sleep if I don’t even wake when the bed moves.

  It’s Thursday and Dennis has the day off. His days off are odd. Being the head bouncer means they want him there as much as possible during peak hours. And since he’s trying to make up for the time he lost, he worked Wednesday, which is usually his other day off.

  Right now, he’s still sleeping while I get ready for work. As I pull back the shower curtain to grab my towel, a half-asleep Dennis shuffles into the bathroom. I dry off while he uses the toilet, then step out of the shower. When Dennis moves to the sink to brush his teeth, I wrap the towel around my waist and come up next to him.

  “What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be going back to sleep?” I ask, looking at him in the mirror.

  He lets his toothbrush hang from his mouth and uses his hands to sign to me. “I want to grab breakfast with you.”

  I smirk. “You don’t have to do that. Go back to sleep.”

  “No. We’re gonna grab breakfast. Then I’m gonna meet you for lunch, and then we’re going out for dinner too,” he signs.

  I smooth my hand up his bare back to grab his shoulder. “That’s sweet, Denny, but really, you look exhausted.”

  “I’ll take a nap when I get back.”

  “All right,” I agree, knowing I’m not going to win this.

  I turn to leave the bathroom and he smacks my ass. Glancing over my shoulder, I find Dennis smirking with a mouthful of toothpaste and a devilish glint in his eye. I smile and shake my head.

  I get dressed and put some product in my hair to tame it a little bit so it’s not a complete mess. I text a message to my buddy from work, Vince, to let him know I’ll have a ride in today and he doesn’t have to come get me. I then make my way into the living room, where Dennis is waiting on the couch. He just threw on jeans and a T-shirt.

  I don’t have time to sit down and eat, so we settle on the Starbucks around the corner from my office. It takes Dennis fifteen minutes to find a parking spot, and he is very frustrated by the time we get out of the car.

  “We should have fucking walked,” he growls.

  “What? The five million blocks it would have taken to get here? Yeah, no thanks.”

  We walk into the crowded Starbucks and get in line. Dennis reaches into his pocket a moment later and pulls out his phone. He checks the screen, then scowls before tapping it and shoving the phone back into his pocket in annoyance.

  “Who was it?” I sign.

  “My fucking father. He’s been harassing me since Sunday,” he signs back.

  I shake my head. “For money?”

  “Yeah. He’s convinced I have money to give him.”

  I lift my lip in disgust. What a douchebag. “Why don’t you change your phone number so he can’t call you?”

  “Because then he’ll just show up at our door, which he will probably do eventually anyway.”

  “Oh, gre
at,” I mutter out loud.

  We order and head to the other counter to wait. After we get our coffees and muffins, we walk down the block to my office. I check my watch. I have ten minutes to get upstairs. Dennis nods his head toward the door.

  “Gotta go?” he asks.

  “Yeah.”

  His green eyes search mine. “I think we need to talk later.”

  “About what?” I ask.

  “About what this is.” He motions back and forth between us with his coffee.

  I nod. “Yeah, we do need to talk about that.”

  “Okay. I’ll meet you right here at one. Is that cool?”

  “Perfect,” I say with a small smile.

  “Good.” He returns the smile. “See you in a little while.”

  Dennis gives my face a light smack and winks at me before heading back down the block toward his car. I watch him go. His limp is a little more pronounced this morning. He’s probably still hurting. The T-shirt and jeans suit him, though. The jeans are worn and hanging low on his hips. His ass looks fantastic in them too. He glances over his shoulder and catches me checking him out. He laughs, and it warms my heart to see him truly smiling and happy for a change. Is it because of me? I sure hope so.

  DENNIS

  AFTER A refreshing nap and a shower, I go to meet Tucker for lunch. My heart does a little happy dance when I see him in front of his office building. We go to a café a few blocks away that serves great soups and sandwiches. We sit in a quiet corner and look over the menu. My phone rings in my pocket. I grit my teeth and pull it out. My dad… again. I hit Ignore and shove it back into my jeans. Fucker just doesn’t give up.

  Tucker frowns. “Again?”

  “That’s the third time today already,” I tell him.

  Tucker shakes his head in disgust and turns back to his menu.

  I take the moment to look over Tucker while he’s not paying attention. His hair is messier than it was this morning, which means he’s probably been running his fingers through it. The top button of his shirt is undone, and his tie is a bit askew. He has no idea how sexy he looks. And it’s still bizarre to me that I’m thinking Tucker is sexy. The waitress comes over, interrupting my thoughts, and takes our order. When she walks away, Tucker leans back in his chair, stretching out his legs so they’re intertwined with mine under the table. Contentment washes over me.

  “So do you want to talk now or later tonight?” he asks.

  I shrug. “We can talk now if you want.”

  “I want,” he says with a tender smile that is all for me, only for me.

  My heart skitters. Damn, I haven’t had so many… emotions… in so long that they’re almost overwhelming. I have been so dead inside, so numb. But now, with this thing going on with Tucker, I am feeling again. I get excited about just seeing him. Obviously he turns me on to no end. I’ve been smiling and laughing. I’m starting to feel happy again, like how I used to be when Zara was still alive.

  “What do you think about this thing going on between us?” I ask in sign language so we’re not overheard.

  Tucker grins. “I’m liking it a lot, actually. It’s new and exciting and satisfying.”

  I smile. “I agree.”

  “What do you think about it?” he signs back.

  “I honestly don’t think I will ever want to be with another woman again. Zara was kinda it for me in that department, so this works well.” I chuckle as I sign.

  Tucker laughs.

  “In all seriousness, I haven’t been this happy in a long time, Tuck. It’s because of you.”

  Tucker’s entire face lights up with the kind of joy I’ve never seen in him. He’s grinning from ear to ear. He’s just about to place his hand over mine when a female voice says our names. Tucker’s eyes lift to whoever is behind me before I turn around.

  It’s Arianna. She smiles, waves, and heads in our direction. She stops next to the table and leans down to give me a kiss on the cheek before doing the same to Tucker. It’s been about three months since I ended things with her.

  “Hi, guys!” she chirps, glancing back and forth between us.

  “Hey, Arianna, how are you?” I ask.

  She gives me a sweet smile. “I’m doing well. How about you?” Her eyes search my face, and she seems genuinely curious as to how I’m doing.

  “I’m doing okay now. I had a bit of a setback, but I’m working through it.”

  “I’m glad to hear that, Dennis. You look… different,” she says thoughtfully as she examines my eyes and face. “In a good way. Like maybe not as distant. Definitely happier.”

  I stare at her in shock. “Damn, you’re pretty perceptive, huh?”

  She grins and shrugs. “It’s a gift.”

  I chuckle, and her smile softens.

  “It’s really good to see you laugh. Changes your whole face.”

  I blush.

  Arianna pinches my cheek and giggles. “Too cute.”

  When she drops her hand, I notice something glittering on her finger. I snatch her hand and hold it up. I come face-to-face with a giant engagement ring.

  “Holy shit!” Tucker exclaims when he sees it.

  “Wow!” I blink and look up at her.

  She blushes fifty shades of red and gives me a shy smile.

  “When did this happen?” I ask.

  “About a week ago. I know it’s fast, but Kyle is so awesome, and we fell in love almost instantly.”

  A familiar ache takes root in my chest. Sounds like Zara and me.

  “That’s great, Arianna. I’m happy you found someone. I wish you the best of luck,” I say.

  She gives me a grateful smile. “Thank you, Dennis.”

  “Yeah, congrats,” Tucker chimes in.

  “Thanks, Tuck. I have to go, but it was good seeing you two.”

  “You too, Arianna.” I smile.

  “Bye, Arianna,” Tucker says.

  “See ya, Tuck.” She gives my shoulder a squeeze as she walks away. Whoever this Kyle guy is, he is one lucky bastard.

  The waitress shows up with our food a second later, and our previous conversation is forgotten as we dig in.

  “She looks great. I’m glad to see she’s happy,” I sign between bites.

  “Yeah, she really is a gorgeous woman. I was kind of hoping to set her up with Duke. She’s just his type,” Tucker signs back.

  “How come you never hooked up with her?” I ask.

  “Who said I didn’t?” He grins, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

  I gape at him for a moment. “What?”

  “We hooked up a few times.” He shrugs.

  “Why didn’t you take it further?”

  Tuck gives me a sad smile. “She wants hearts and flowers and white picket fences. That’s not me.”

  I nod in understanding. “That’s not Duke either.”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  I raise a dubious eyebrow at him.

  “If you knew him better, you would understand. The guy wants happily ever after. He’s yet to find it.”

  “That’s a shame.”

  “It really is, because he deserves better.”

  I hear that. We put our conversation aside so we can both eat because Tucker needs to get back to work. Once we’re finished, we walk back to Tucker’s office building. We turn to face each other outside on the sidewalk. Tuck’s eyes scan my face before finally landing on my mouth.

  “I want to kiss you so badly right now,” he signs.

  My stomach does a nervous jig. Or is it excitement? I glance around at the people walking by us before turning back to him. I don’t give a shit what these people think of me. They don’t know me, and I’ll probably never see them again anyway.

  “I’m not stopping you.”

  His eyes widen, and his nostrils flare as he sucks in a sharp breath. He scans our surroundings. It’s a different story for Tucker because some of his coworkers could possibly see us. Does he want them to see him kiss a man?

  Tucker steps into me
, clasping the back of my neck as he fuses our lips together. A surge of exhilaration shoots through me as if we’re doing something forbidden. It’s over all too soon as he pulls back. I give him a smile that I hope is seductive. Heat flushes up his neck and cheeks.

  “I gotta go,” he croaks.

  “Okay, I’ll see you when you’re done.”

  He nods jerkily and licks his lips. His gaze darts around again as he walks into the building. I shove my hands into my pockets as I head back to my car. I catch the gaze of an elderly man, probably around seventy, sitting on a nearby bench. He’s looking at me, a mix of emotions on his face. It’s like he can’t decide whether or not to be disgusted by what he just saw.

  “What? Never seen a couple of dudes kiss before?” I ask him with a smirk.

  He shakes his head. “No, I haven’t, not in person anyway.”

  I stop in front of him. “And?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

  “It’s strange.” He frowns.

  I shrug. “Yeah, I guess.”

  “Is it a lot different than kissing a woman?” he asks, shocking the hell out of me.

  “Yes and no. He’s rougher than any woman I’ve ever kissed.”

  His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “Rough, huh?”

  “It’s never too late to try something new.” I grin.

  The man barks out a laugh and slaps his thigh. “You just made my day, son.”

  I send him a wink before continuing down the sidewalk toward my car.

  I pick Tucker up after work and drive us to one of our favorite steakhouses in Queens. It’s on the smaller side, so I called ahead to make sure we would be able to get a table. Once we’re there and seated, I bring up our earlier conversation that got interrupted by Arianna. It’s been on my mind ever since, and I feel like things were left unsaid and unresolved.

  “So, Tuck,” I sign from my seat across from him. “About what we were talking about earlier….”

  “Yeah?”

  “Is… is this thing between us something you want to pursue?”

  The waiter stops next to the table, putting the conversation on hold while he takes our drink orders. As soon as he walks away, Tucker smiles at me. He looks so handsome in his dress shirt with the top button undone and his loosened tie.