Marking Time

by Marie Force

  He put his arms around her and kissed her. “We’re home. Merry Christmas.”

  “Home?” She looked around again. “I don’t understand…”

  He took her hand to lead her into the kitchen.

  Through French doors, she saw a stone patio around an elaborately tiled in-ground pool. “Did you buy this house, Jack?”

  “Not exactly. I built this house.”

  She whirled around to look again, realizing parts of what she saw were familiar. “Oh, God, you built it. You built my house, didn’t you?” she asked in a whisper, her eyes flooding with tears. “The house you drew for me after our wedding?”

  He nodded.

  She wiped tears from her face. “But how? When? When did you do this?”

  “Many late nights with ‘clients,’ and many, many lies,” he said with the devilish grin that still melted her bones after thirteen and a half years together.

  “The top, with the circle and the glass, did you do that, too?” she asked, filled with excitement as the details of the plans he’d drawn for “someday” came rushing back to her.

  “Of course I did. Want to see?”

  She nodded and put her arms around him. Whatever had she done to deserve this man—this amazing, thoughtful, generous man? “I want to see, but first I just want you.” She hugged him close to her. “I can’t believe you did this.”

  He pulled back to look down at her. “Did you think I’d forgotten?”

  “You’ve been so busy with the firm. I haven’t thought about this in years.”

  “I’ve never stopped thinking about it, and when this property came on the market, I snapped it up.”

  “It’s so beautiful, but it must’ve cost a fortune. Can we afford this?” She tipped her eyes up to his. The firm he and Jamie had founded almost six years ago had been wildly successful, but she didn’t think they had this kind of money.

  “We can afford it. I did a lot of it myself to keep the cost down, but I don’t want to talk about that. Can I show you the rest?”

  “Yes.” She reached up to caress his face. “In case I forget to say this later, thank you, Jack. This is the best surprise I’ve ever gotten.” She drew him down and kissed him with a thoroughness that left them both breathless.

  “Wow,” he said when she finally released him. “I need to build you a house more often. Come see.” He took her through the kitchen to show her the study, the dining room, and family room, which boasted a huge stone fireplace. Stairs from both the kitchen and the family room led to the second-floor wing he had built for the girls. “They’ll each have their own bathroom, which will be critical as we face the teenage years. You’ll also be glad to know I gave them each their own water heater, so there won’t be any more screaming about hot water.”

  “You thought of everything.” She didn’t see one thing she would have changed. Across from the girls’ rooms were three more bedrooms.

  “One is a guest room with another bathroom, and the other two rooms can be used for a home gym or anything else you want.”

  “Okay, I’m trying to count bathrooms—”

  “Six including ours: one downstairs, four up here, and one more upstairs. Seven bedrooms all together.”

  Her hand covered her mouth as she peeked into the guest bedroom. “It’s so overwhelming.” The house had been built to keep the ocean view prominent in almost every room. He’d left all the walls white so she could choose the paint colors.

  “You’ve got to see the best part.” He took her hand to guide her to a spiral staircase in the middle of the second floor. “After you.”

  She walked up the winding stairs, opened the door at the top, and let out a shriek. The top floor was circular with walls made entirely of glass, offering a view of the beach and fresh-water reservoir. A fireplace in the middle divided the bedroom and sitting areas. It was the only room that was furnished with a new king-size cherry sleigh bed and rich leather furniture in the sitting room.

  She turned to him with fresh tears in her eyes. “Oh, Jack, it’s exactly as you described it.”

  “You remember?”

  “Of course I do. We used to lie in bed in the apartment on Beacon Hill, and you’d describe this to me down to the smallest detail. It’s so much better than I ever imagined.”

  He nudged her toward the spacious master bathroom where he’d put a huge Jacuzzi tub. Everything was marble and shiny new.

  “There’s one more thing. Come on out here.” He opened the sliding door to a small deck that hung over the pool area and rocky shoreline below.

  “Oh, look at this!” She marveled at the view. The winter ocean foamed with frigid rage as the gulls dove for lunch in the surf. Off in the distance, a stretch of sandy beach was deserted and barren except for a few hardy runners and their dogs. “It’s just so amazing. The most beautiful house I’ve ever seen.”

  “I’m glad you like it.” The relief showed on his face. “I was kind of worried.”

  “Like it? I love it! Why were you worried?”

  He shrugged and grinned. “I’ve been married long enough to know how particular women are about their houses.”

  “You shouldn’t have worried. I love every inch of it. I’m so lucky to have such a talented husband.” She kissed him again the way she had downstairs and threw her arms around him in sheer delight. “I love it, I love you, and I want to see it again.”

  He leaned down for another of those kisses she was handing out. “All in good time,” he said, leading her back inside and closing the door against the December cold.

  She put her hands on his chest to steer him backward to the new bed.

  He fell on the bed, pulling her down on top of him. “You know, when they christen a new ship, they break a bottle of champagne over the bow,” he said with a glint in his eye.

  She kissed him. “Yes, I’ve heard that.”

  He wrapped his arms around her. “Do you know how new houses are christened?”

  “I think I’m about to find out.”

  Kate walked out the front door. “Mom?”

  Clare shook her head and snapped out of her remembrance. “I’m coming.”

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yes, honey, everything’s fine. Let’s go in, shall we?”

  Chapter 4

  The house was more or less as she remembered it. Furniture had been moved, carpeting replaced, new photos hung, and plants had either died or grown beyond recognition. True to his word, Jack had made her a bedroom in the study, and the downstairs bathroom had been outfitted with handrails. The girls had brought her clothes down from the attic and hung them in the study closet.

  Clare’s mother planned to spend a month with her, and Sally Coleman, the nurse who’d overseen her care during the coma, would be coming in every day to continue Clare’s physical therapy.

  The girls had a welcome-home party and made her favorite dinner of steak on the grill with baked potatoes and salad. They were so delighted to have her home that Clare got caught up in their excitement. But as the evening wore on, it became clear to her that nothing was right.

  She began to have trouble swallowing her panic. Where was Jack? Would he really never again come bounding in from work full of passion and excitement, bursting to tell her about a design he’d finished, a client he’d landed, or a laugh he’d shared with Jamie?

  How was it possible he didn’t live here anymore? Or that he’d shared this home, even temporarily, with another woman? How could he have married her? How did this happen? All the emotions she’d managed to keep at bay during the long months in the hospital surged to the surface. Her chest tightened, and she knew she was going to cry in front of the girls if she didn’t escape immediately.

  Clare stood, and Maggie jumped up to get her crutches. “Thank you for the lovely dinner. Would you please excuse me?” She hobbled into the study and closed the door.

  Maggie turned to her grandmother. “What’s wrong with her?”

  “I think she’s jus
t overwhelmed, honey.” Anna reached out to pat her granddaughter’s hand. “She’s got to get used to a lot of changes in her life.”

  The phone rang, and Kate got up to answer it.

  “Hi, Dad.” Kate glanced over at the others. “Yes, she’s home. It all went fine.” She held the phone to the side with her hand over the mouthpiece. “He wants to talk to Mom. Should I get her?”

  “Let me.” Anna took the cordless phone from Kate. “Why don’t you girls start cleaning up?” She walked into the family room. “Hi, Jack. It’s Anna.”

  “Hi, Anna. Is everything all right?”

  “Everything’s fine, but I don’t think Clare’s up to chatting right now. Can I have her give you a call in a day or two?”

  “Sure. I just wanted to make sure she has everything she needs. I could come by—”

  Through the phone, Anna could hear a baby crying. “I don’t think that would be a good idea. She needs some time to get used to the way things are now, and having you here…”

  “That’s fine, I understand.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. You’re right. I’ll stay away for a while. I’m glad she has you and the girls to lean on right now.”

  “We’ll take good care of her. Don’t worry. It was good of you to call.”

  “It’s good of you to still be so nice to me.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “It’s just this whole thing, it’s so…well…I guess messy is the best word I can think of.”

  “It’s bound to be for a while, but it’ll get better when you’ve all had some time to adjust. In the meantime, let her call the shots for now, okay?”

  “Of course. Please let her know I called.”

  “I will. By the way, congratulations to you and Andi. I hear you have two beautiful baby boys.”

  “Thank you. I’m sure you can hear them raising a ruckus.”

  “You’d better go. Take care of yourself, Jack.”

  “Bye, Anna.”

  Anna clicked off the phone and thought about the lovely young man her daughter had been married to. Clare still loved him so much. This whole situation would be easier if she could hate him or blame him for the end of what had been a beautiful marriage. But it wasn’t that simple. If it had been, Clare wouldn’t hurt like she did.

  Clare didn’t leave her room again that evening.

  At around ten, her mother knocked on the study door to check on her. “Are you all right?”

  Clare looked up from the rocking chair where she sat with Frannie’s journal. “I’m fine. I’m sorry about earlier. I’ll talk to the girls in the morning.”

  “There’s no need. They understand. Jack called to make sure you got home. I told him you’d call him in a day or two.”

  “Thanks. I couldn’t deal with that tonight.”

  “That’s what I figured. What’ve you got there?” Anna asked with a nod at the book.

  Clare explained about the journal Frannie had kept. “It’s helping me to put some pieces together.”

  “Do you think you should be looking at that tonight? You’ve had a difficult day.”

  “It’s okay. I’ll see you in the morning, Mom. Thanks for everything. I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Just holler if you need anything.”

  “I will.”

  Anna closed the door, and Clare went back to the journal, unable to resist feasting on Frannie’s words.

  February 14

  Jamie came over, bringing gifts as he always does. He’s forever dropping by to check on us, and he always has something for the girls. Today he brought them everything to make ice cream sundaes. He had roses for me, and the card said, “Thank you for all you’re doing to take care of my favorite girls. Love, Jamie.” I know I must have blushed fifty shades of red, but it was so sweet of him.

  March 22

  Maggie told me she’s made a new friend. She wasn’t sure how to tell her friend about what’s wrong with her mother. We had a long talk, but I could tell she’s still worried. When I began to notice the girls never bring their friends home anymore, I decided to talk to Jack about making some changes around here. It’s time to think about moving Clare somewhere else so the girls can have their home back. Broaching that subject makes me nervous, but he needs to hear it.

  May 12

  A year since Clare’s accident…

  May 31

  Today was moving day. Jack bought a condo on the beach for Clare about a mile from home. It was awful to watch them take her from the house she loved so much and to wonder if she’ll ever return. I thought Jack was sad before, but this is worse. He’s locked himself in his room, and I can’t think of anything I can do for him.

  June 3

  Jack has finally given up his daily vigil at Clare’s bedside and is refocused on the girls. Poor Maggie had so many questions for him. He did his best to help her understand that her mother isn’t going to get better, but it was agonizing for him—and for her. He’s making a real effort to reconnect with the girls, but it’s going to take some time. This weekend he’s taking them out to the island. They don’t really want to go, but he desperately needs to spend some time with them. I’ll be hoping it goes well for all of them.

  June 17

  Jack and the girls seem better since their weekend in Block Island. I’m not sure what happened when they were there, but they’ve been nicer to him and more accepting of his new role as their only parent. I’m glad for him—for all of them.

  July 9

  Jack finally went back to work today. Thank God.

  Clare closed the book and held it to her chest. There’d been so much pain and heartache. It was like the man who attacked her had set off a tsunami in the lives of everyone she loved. Now that the water had finally receded, she felt as if she’d landed alone on an island with absolutely no idea what she was supposed to do next.

  Chapter 5

  Two weeks after she got home, Anna drove Clare to an appointment with her psychiatrist, Dr. Richard Baker. He’d been working with her since she remembered being raped and had been instrumental in helping her to cope with all the changes in her life since her recovery.

  He arrived five minutes late, seeming frazzled.

  “Sorry to keep you waiting, Clare.” He tossed his briefcase on the desk and shrugged out of his tweed sports coat. “I got called into a consult at the hospital.”

  “That’s more important.”

  He sat across from her with a pad of paper balanced on his knee. “I’m sorry we were unable to meet before you went home.”

  She smiled. “I heard you were in Greece.”

  “My wife surprised me with the trip for our thirtieth anniversary. I didn’t realize it would coincide with your release from the hospital. How’s everything going?”

  She shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”

  “Just okay?”

  “It’s very strange being home. Everything’s the same—but so different, too.”

  He made a note on his pad. “Let’s talk about what’s different.”

  “Well, Jill doesn’t live there anymore. She’s in college. Kate’s a high school graduate with a job and a car, so I hardly see her.”

  “What about Maggie?”

  “She’s been spending a lot of time at Jack’s house. There’s a lot of excitement there with the babies and all.”

  He looked up with surprise. “They had the babies already?”

  “They arrived a month early, in the midst of their parents’ wedding.”

  Dr. Baker tapped his lip with his pen. “Wow. How do you feel about that?”

  Clare shrugged. “I’m happy for them that everything went well.”

  “That’s awfully generous of you. Hold that thought for a minute. Let’s go back to Maggie. What kind of custody arrangement have you worked out for her?”

  “Nothing formal. We’ve been doing two nights on, two nights off, with a few deviations.”

  “How does she get back and fort
h?”

  “Jack usually drives her, but sometimes she comes with Kate.”

  “So you see him often?”

  “Most of the time just to wave to when he drops Maggie off. He’s giving me some space at the advice of my mother,” Clare said with a wry grin.

  “Do you need the space?”

  She looked down at her hands, which twisted back and forth in her lap, and nodded.

  “You don’t want to see him?”

  She shook her head and was stunned to realize she was going to cry.

  “Clare?”

  “I can’t stand being in that house,” she whispered as a fat tear rolled down her cheek. “I can’t stand it.”

  “Because Jack’s not there?”

  “Mostly that, but no one’s there. Well, my mother’s staying with me, but that’s not what I mean. Before all this, my life was about taking care of them. I had my job, but my priority was my family. I don’t seem to have a family anymore. My girls went and grew up in my absence, and they don’t need me anymore.”

  “Do you really believe that?”

  “They’re very self-sufficient. They make their own meals. They even do their own laundry.”

  “I’m sure you know they’d be doing that by now, even if you hadn’t been ill.”

  “Of course, but I missed the transition, so it just feels like another loss.”

  “I’m sure it does, but you shouldn’t take that to mean they don’t need you. Do we ever fully outgrow our mothers?”

  “I know I haven’t. I don’t know what I would’ve done without mine in the last few months.”

  “Well, see? There you go. Give them some time to adapt to having you back in their daily lives. They’ll start to lean on you again.”