Marking Time

by Marie Force

  “Yes, and I’m going home to her. Soon. But it’s not the same. I have to share her with a stepmother she loves—the stepmother who gave her three brothers, who saw her through her first period and middle school, and God knows what else. Maggie doesn’t belong just to me anymore.”

  “What about Kate? She needs you more than ever right now. And even Jill’s certainly not all grown up yet.”

  “It’s not the same. It’s not like it was when they were younger and relied on me for everything. I’ve never felt more fulfilled by anything than I did then. Losing that has left a gaping hole inside of me.”

  “Maybe you’ll feel better about it when you get back to Rhode Island. You can be more involved in Maggie’s daily life again.”

  “Maybe,” Clare said, but she wasn’t convinced. “Thank you for listening.”

  “Thank you for telling me.” He kissed her softly. “I hope you’re not mad I didn’t tell you I knew. I didn’t want to push you.”

  She caressed his handsome face. “I don’t deserve you.”

  “Oh, yes. Yes, you do.” He kissed her then as if his life—and hers—depended on it.

  “Wanna see what else is under this dress?” she asked with a saucy smile.

  He groaned. “You have no idea…”

  Much later, while Clare slept in his arms, Aidan was content. With no secrets left between them, they could start to make plans for their future. He already had a few ideas about what that might entail.

  “Aidan?”

  “I thought you were asleep.”

  “Almost. Thank you again for our date.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “My pleasure.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too. And I’m really glad you came to Vermont. I’m sorry about the reasons, but I’m so glad you came here.”

  “Me, too.”

  Chapter 36

  A light snow was falling Friday evening, so Aidan insisted on driving Clare to Burlington to pick up Kate. The roads were slick, and they arrived just as Kate’s flight was announced.

  Aidan gasped when he saw Kate coming toward them. “Wow, you weren’t kidding! She’s you all over again!”

  Clare smiled up at him. “She’s the tall version of me.”

  Seeming to be fighting tears, Kate fell into her mother’s arms.

  “Okay, baby. You’re okay.”

  Kate clung to her.

  Clare let the flood of people move around them as she held her daughter.

  “Sorry,” Kate said, her voice muffled by her mother’s coat.

  “You’ve had a rough week.” Clare searched her daughter’s face for signs of the changes she knew had occurred recently. But all she saw was the tearstained face of the girl she loved.

  “You must be Aidan O’Malley.”

  He shook Kate’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  “My sisters were right about you.”

  “How’s that?”

  “Oh, nothing,” Kate said with an approving smile for her mother.

  Clare returned the smile. “Do you have bags?”

  “Just this,” Kate said, referring to the bag she carried on her shoulder.

  “Let’s hit the road, then,” Aidan said. “It’s getting ugly out there.”

  On the ride home, Kate filled them in on everything that’d happened with Buddy and Taylor and the preparations for the tour.

  “So the next time we see you, we might need special passes or something?” Clare joked.

  Kate smiled. “From what Buddy says, maybe.”

  “You must be very excited,” Clare said.

  “I’m scared.”

  “Why?”

  “Buddy says my whole life will change, that I’ll be working all the time, and it’ll be really crazy.”

  “Isn’t that what you wanted?” Clare asked.

  “Yes, but it’s nerve-racking now that it’s actually happening.”

  Aidan drove them up the winding road leading to his house on the hilltop.

  “Wow, awesome place,” Kate said.

  “We’re staying with Aidan because Uncle Tony’s house is a mess.”

  “That’s cool.”

  They settled Kate in one of the bedrooms, and Aidan built up the fire in the den for them. “I’ll be in the garage, if you ladies need me.”

  After he left the room, Kate turned to her mother. “Okay, spill it.”

  “What?”

  “Oh my God, Mom! He’s hot!”

  Clare smiled. “So I’ve noticed, but I don’t want to talk about him.”

  Kate’s smile faded. “Uh-oh, here it comes.”

  “I’m worried about you. What’s going on with you and this older man?”

  “I love him. I told Dad that, but he didn’t want to hear it.”

  “Kate, you’re eighteen. He’s forty-six. What did you expect Dad to say? What do you expect me to say? It’s horrifying to us.”

  Kate’s face crumpled. “Don’t say that. How is it any different than you and Aidan? You love him. I can tell by the way you look at him.”

  “It’s very different. We’re both adults.”

  “I’m an adult, too. Look at what I’m doing, what’s about to happen to me, not to mention all we went through after your accident. How can you say I’m not an adult?”

  “Honey, listen to me. I don’t know this man you claim to love. I only know that Dad once thought of him as a friend, so he must have some admirable qualities. But being involved with an eighteen-year-old at his age is not admirable. It’s wrong.”

  Tears flooded Kate’s eyes and slid down her cheeks. “It doesn’t feel wrong. Not to me.”

  “I don’t want to ruin our visit with tears and arguments. I love you. I’ll support you no matter what you choose, but I don’t approve of this relationship, Kate. I want to be crystal clear on that.”

  “What am I going to do about Dad? And Andi? She’s mad at me, too. I lied to her about Reid when I was home at Christmas. She’s really disappointed.”

  “If you felt you had to lie, what does that tell you?”

  “That’s what she said, too.”

  “Come here,” Clare said, reaching out to her daughter.

  Kate fell into her mother’s arms. “I don’t like disappointing you. Any of you.”

  “You’ve got a lot to think about. We can talk about it some more tomorrow. How about a cup of hot chocolate before bed?”

  “I’d love some.”

  Clare got Kate settled and went upstairs to Aidan’s room to get her pajamas. When she was ready for bed, she went down to one of the other bedrooms. From there, she could hear power tools running in the garage.

  As she got into bed in the unfamiliar room, she wondered why Aidan had built a house with so many bedrooms. Then she remembered he’d planned to sell it.

  She thought about Kate and almost felt sorry for her daughter who was in love with a man no one approved of. Thank goodness for the tour. At least it’ll keep them apart for a while.

  Clare must have dozed off, because she awoke with a start when Aidan kissed her. He smelled like shampoo and shaving cream, and when she reached for him, her hands landed on his bare chest.

  “Aidan,” she whispered.

  “Shhh,” he said, kissing the words off her lips. In the pitch darkness, he drove her wild with his hands and lips, making slow, quiet love to her.

  Kate slept late in the morning and then took a walk with Clare on the trails around Aidan’s house, where the sun had already melted most of the new snow from the night before. They were having lunch with Aidan when they heard a car pull up outside.

  “Who’s that?” Clare asked.

  Aidan shrugged and went to find out.

  Kate shrieked when he came back with Jill and Maggie. She leaped up to hug her sisters.

  “What’re you guys doing here?” Clare asked, raising an eyebrow at Aidan. “And how did you find us?”

  Jill and Aidan exchanged guilty glances.

 
“We wanted to see Kate and surprise you,” Jill said. “Aidan might’ve helped us out.”

  “Aidan’s quite sneaky,” Clare said, hugging Jill and Maggie. “Does your father know where you are?”

  This time, Jill and Maggie exchanged glances.

  “Where does he think you are?” Clare asked Maggie.

  “Visiting Jill at school. For some reason that no one will tell me, he’s really mad at Kate, and he told me not to talk to her.”

  Kate winced at that.

  “Call him.” Clare pointed to the phone. “Right now.”

  “Do I have to?” Maggie asked.

  Clare gave her a look that left no room for negotiation.

  Maggie shuffled over to the phone.

  Aidan held up his hands in defense. “I didn’t approve that part of it.”

  “I’ll deal with you later, buster,” Clare said under her breath.

  “Oh, goodie,” he whispered.

  Aidan went out to the garage the following afternoon to work on the Porsche so Clare could have some time alone with the girls before Jill and Maggie headed home to Rhode Island. Kate was flying back to Nashville the next morning.

  Aidan marveled at how the girls had filled the house with noise, laughter, and chaos. Oh, and music, too. Clare told Kate he could sing, and she had cajoled him into playing the piano and singing with her. He couldn’t believe her voice. No wonder Buddy Longstreet was out to make her a star.

  The door from the kitchen opened, and Maggie came out wearing a scowl.

  “Hey,” he said. “What’s up?”

  “They kicked me out.”

  “Ouch. Why don’t you give me a hand? You’re not one of those prissy girls who’s afraid of a little dirt, are you?”

  She snorted. “No.”

  He handed her a distributor cap with instructions on how to work the gunk out of the part’s spidery legs.

  “Do you know why everyone’s mad at Kate?”

  He studied her bright blue eyes and tried to decide how he should answer that. “Maybe.”

  “That’s not fair! I’m thirteen now. I’m old enough to know whatever it is.”

  “Thirteen is practically an adult.” Aidan thought the light dusting of freckles across her nose was about the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

  “See? You get that, so why don’t they?”

  “Maybe because sometimes being an adult isn’t as great as you think it’ll be when you’re thirteen.”

  “I just wish they’d tell me. I can take it. I’m not your average thirteen-year-old, you know. I had to grow up a lot when my mom was sick. They shouldn’t treat me like a baby.”

  “You’re absolutely right, but can I tell you something?”

  She nodded and worked a greasy rag over the engine part with determination he admired.

  “Would you believe me if I told you this thing with Kate is really and truly something you don’t want to know?”

  Maggie thought that over for a minute. “So it’s kind of gross, then?”

  “Way gross.”

  “But she’s not hurt or sick or anything like that, is she?”

  “No,” he said. “I promise.”

  She worked in silence for several minutes before she turned those potent blue eyes on him again. “Could I ask you something else?”

  “Shoot.”

  “Are you going to marry my mom?”

  He hadn’t seen that one coming. “I don’t know yet.” Leaning against the workbench, he studied her. “Adult to adult, though, let me ask you this—do you think she’d marry me?”

  Maggie chuckled. “Duh. Yeah.”

  “You think so?”

  “If she doesn’t, maybe I will,” Maggie said with a big grin.

  Aidan roared with laughter. “I should be so lucky.”

  Clare surprised Aidan with a trip to Boston for his fortieth birthday the following weekend. When they checked in at the hotel, he was annoyed to discover she’d reserved adjoining rooms.

  “What the hell?” he fumed. “You’re not sleeping over here. It’s my birthday. I should get to sleep with who I want to.”

  “Relax, honey,” she said, patting his face as she unpacked in her room.

  He was still ranting about the separate rooms when someone knocked on the door of his room.

  “You’d better get that,” Clare said.

  “You’re sleeping with me, and that’s the end of it.”

  “Get the door.”

  He swung open the door and was startled to see Jill, Maggie, and his entire family—minus Brandon, who was still in rehab.

  “Surprise!” they said in unison.

  Stunned, Aidan stared at them. “What’re you guys doing here?”

  Colleen O’Malley kissed her son’s cheek and pushed past him into the room. “Happy birthday, love. But don’t be telling people you’re forty. That makes me sound so old.”

  Aidan fielded hugs from the girls and the rest of his family before he turned back to Clare as his nieces and nephews jumped on the king-size bed. “Been keeping some secrets?”

  “Maybe,” she said with the coy grin he adored.

  “She rented out the whole floor and invited us all to come,” Dennis told his son. “Mighty nice of her, if you ask me.”

  “Yes.” Aidan put an arm around her and kissed her in front of everyone. “Mighty nice.”

  Clare’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Stop it.” She extricated herself from his embrace. “You’re all invited to dinner downstairs at seven o’clock.”

  “We’re taking the kids to the pool,” Aidan’s sister Erin said to Jill and Maggie. “Do you want to come along?”

  “We’d love to,” Maggie said.

  The room emptied as fast as it had filled, and the moment they were alone, Aidan turned to Clare. “Very sneaky,” he said, backing her up to the bed. “Tell me the extra room is for the girls.”

  Nodding, she pulled him down with her. “Surprise,” she said with a smile as she reached up to kiss him. “I had to celebrate that you’re finally in my decade.”

  “But I won’t be for long.”

  Her eyes widened, and her mouth fell open in shock. “Oh! I can’t believe you said that!” She pelted him with her fists.

  He laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes.

  Two nights after they got home from Boston, Aidan made dinner for Clare. She came downstairs at his house to find candles on the table. “What’s the occasion?”

  “Come have a seat. It’ll be ready soon.”

  “Champagne, too? What are we celebrating?”

  “Sit down, and I’ll tell you.”

  She did as he asked and was startled when he knelt in front of her. He rested his head against her chest for a moment before he looked up at her with his heart in his eyes. “I love you.”

  She combed her fingers through his hair. “I love you, too.”

  “Before I met you, I had nothing. No love, no laughter, no joy, no hope. Nothing. Now I have you, and I have everything. I love you, I love your girls, and I want us to have a life together. I’ll move to Rhode Island so we can be with Maggie, and we can come up here on weekends. I want to be wherever you are. Will you marry me, Clare?” He held up a large, sparkling diamond ring.

  Blinking back tears, Clare looked down at him. “I want to. I want so much to marry you, Aidan.”

  “Why do I hear a ‘but’ in there?”

  “Because there’s something else I want, too. Something I’m not sure you want.”

  “What?”

  “I want to have another child.”

  He shook his head as if he hadn’t heard her right. “You’ll think I’m taking aim at your age—”

  She held up a hand to stop him. “I don’t want to give birth, but I do want to be a mother again.”

  “You are a mother.”

  Clare sighed as she stared into the candlelight. “You did all this, and I’m ruining it.”

  Aidan got up to sit next to her and took her
hand. “Tell me what you want.”

  “I want to adopt a child who’s maybe three or four and has no one. People only want babies, so there’re lots of kids who need good homes. I want to find a child who needs me and give him—or her—a good home and a big loving family.”

  “I know what you’re doing.” His face tightened with distress. “You think I’d be a good father, and you’re trying to replace the son I lost.”

  “No, Aidan. You would be a wonderful father, but that’s not what this is about.”

  He gave her a skeptical look.

  “One of the things I needed to do when I came up here was to figure out what I’m going to do with this second chance I’ve been given. When I look back on my life before everything happened, the only thing other than being a wife that gave me any real fulfillment was being a mother. Jack gave me all that money, so I have the freedom to do whatever I want. This is what I want. If I’d never met you, I’d still want this for me. Please believe me.”

  He studied the floor, and Clare’s heart skipped a beat as a jolt of fear went through her.

  When he finally looked up at her, his eyes were flat and lifeless. “I can’t,” he whispered. “I just can’t.”

  “Oh, Aidan. You can. You’re so great with the girls, and they already love you. I know they do. I want you so much. I want that ring and everything it stands for. We can do this together. Please.”

  “I can’t give you what you want, and I won’t ask you to live without it.” He got up to turn off the stove.

  “Aidan,” Clare cried as she followed him. “If it’s a choice, I can live without another child. I can. I don’t want to live without you, though.”

  He shook his head. “I’d never ask you to make such a sacrifice. Someday, you’d resent me for it. You’re an amazing mother, and some little person out there is about to get very, very lucky.”

  She put her arms around him. “Not without you.”

  “I’m sorry.” He pulled away from her and left the room.

  “Aidan!” When he didn’t come back, she dropped into a chair and wept.

  Part V: Parade Rest

  A relaxed position of attention.