Half the school day had gone by, and I still hadn't spoken to Captain. It didn't necessarily mean that he was avoiding me. We didn't have any classes together. It could've been a coincidence. But part of me was disappointed he didn't seek me out. The other part was disappointed in myself for not going to him first.
This was so not us, I thought.
Walking through the hall, it felt like a weight was pulling me down. I didn't like being upset at Captain. He had always looked out for me—which is what I'm sure he'd been trying to do with the whole Jackson thing.
And as far as Rachel went…if they started dating, I guess I'd just have to grin and bear it. He was my best friend after all. There was no other option.
"Except dying of a broken heart," I murmured.
My mind was so pre-occupied, the hallway so crowded, that I knocked ran right into someone.
"Oh sorry," I said. "I wasn't paying attention."
"That's alright," Jackson said, giving me a smile.
"Anne," Liam said. With a start, I realized he was standing right next to Jackson. They must've been talking when I literally ran into them. "Are you okay? You don't look so great."
I wanted to roll my eyes but lacked the energy.
"Hey Anne," Jackson said," I meant to ask. Do you—"
Raising a hand to stop him, I took a deep breath. Captain was right. There was no point in beating around the bush.
"Jackson," I said, "I don't want to hurt you, but we can't go out. I'm sorry. I should've said so yesterday."
"Oh that's cool. But can we—"
"It's just the way things are." I shrugged. "The truth is I'm in love with someone else. I have been for a long time. Sorry."
Jackson shot me an amused grin. "Okay…but I wasn't going to ask you out again."
"You weren't?"
He shook his head. "I had a question about the test coming up in Mrs. Tyrell's class."
My face flushed red.
"Can I borrow your notes?" he went on. "I'll have them back to you after next period."
"Sure, sure," I said and tried to bury my head in my binder as I fished out a few pieces of paper covered with history facts. "Here you go. Also, sorry about that bit of awkwardness."
Jackson chuckled. "No problem. Thanks for the notes."
As he went to walk past me, Jackson leaned down and said quietly, "Captain's a lucky guy."
The comment only made me blush harder.
Once Jackson was several feet away, I turned back around and met Liam's gaze. He hadn't moved on. The look in his eyes was bored yet shrewd. I knew it meant trouble.
"You know, Cap looked a little gray today," he said. "Know anything about that?"
"I haven't seen him," I said.
Liam crossed his arms. "But you did yesterday. I'm assuming you and Jackson aren't happening from what I overheard."
I arched a brow.
"Captain might be glad to hear that," he said.
"I doubt he'd care," I replied. "He has Rachel now."
He didn't say anything for a beat.
Students and faculty milled around us, not wanting to be late for their next class. But it looked like Liam had more to say. Proving me right, he spoke a second later.
"I just don't get it," he said.
When he didn't elaborate, I asked, "Get what?"
"You and Cap." Liam shook his head. "It doesn't make sense."
Ouch, that hurt.
"I know he's too good for me if that's what you're saying," I mumbled. "No need to rub it in."
He scoffed. "That wasn't what I meant. You're both lonely without each other. But neither or you is willing to make a move. It's sad."
My lips turned down. "Sorry, I don't understand. Why do you even care?"
"Besides the fact that he's my best friend, and you're—"
Again, he paused, but this time he was staring over my shoulder. A grin took over his face as he continued to stare.
"Earth to Liam," I said, and his eyes came back to mine. "You were in the middle of saying something."
"No, I'm done," he said but then lifted a finger. "Just remember this, Anne. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink."
I frowned. "Liam…you're kind of freaking me out. Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah," he said, "just make sure you talk to Cap."
"I told you already. I haven't seen him."
"Well, don't look now, but he's coming this way."
Whipping around, I saw that he was right. Captain was only a few feet away now—and he was heading straight for me.
"Maybe this horse will drink," Liam said and gave me a nod. "Just make sure you do, too."
I was still sputtering as Liam walked away, and Captain stepped in front of me.
"Hey," Captain said. "We need to talk."
I nodded. "Yeah, I know. Is there something wrong with Liam?"
He frowned. "No, I am curious, though. It was odd seeing you together. What were you talking about?"
"Well, he mentioned some horses and water," I said. By Captain's perplexed expression, I knew he was just as confused as I was. "Do his parents own a farm somewhere? I thought they were doctors."
"They are, and as far as I know, they live in a house even bigger than yours."
"Huh, weird," I said.
"Yeah."
Shaking myself, I looked up at Captain. There was tension around his eyes, and his dark hair was tousled as if he'd been running his fingers through it. Like Liam had said, he looked gray, a hint of sadness in the downward turn of his mouth.
But he was here.
Without my permission, a smile took over my face. Captain, my best friend, was talking to me, and suddenly, everything felt right again.
"Why are you smiling like that, Anne?"
I shrugged. "I'm just so happy to see you."
Captain's answering smile was slow, but it was there.
"Really?" he said. "I thought you were mad at me."
"Yeah, right. I can never be mad at you for long."
"That's good to hear."
It's good to hear your voice, I thought.
"I missed you at practice."
"Ugh, I missed you, too."
"Did you have a good night?" he asked hesitantly.
"Not really."
"What's wrong?" he said, sounding alert all of a sudden. "Did Jackson do something? If he did, I'll—"
Putting a hand on his forearm, I shook my head at his distress. "It was bad because I couldn't sleep. Nothing happened with Jackson. I didn't even leave my room last night."
His whole body seemed to sigh.
"Oh," Cap said as his smile grew to epic proportions. "Sorry it didn't work out."
"Yeah," I said, "you look real sorry."
My sarcasm didn't dim his expression one bit.
"How about you? How was your night?"
"The guys were on me because I kept making mistakes, couldn't concentrate on the music."
I tilted my head. "Really? But you're always so prepared and focused."
"I wasn't last night."
"Something else on your mind?"
"You could say that," he mumbled.
I gulped, hoping like heck that I was wrong, but…
"Were you…thinking about a girl?"
Captain's eyes met mine then, and they were full of something I couldn't name.
"Yes," he said. "I was."
Rachel, I thought as my eyes closed on a painful blink. Of course, he'd been thinking about her. Why had I even dared to hope for anything different?
"It really wrecked my concentration," he went on.
Ugh.
"Well, I'm sure they understood that," I said and forced a laugh. "The guys in the band must hook up way more than you. I don't think you've ever had a date for as long as we've been friends."
"You're right. I haven't," he said.
"Now that you have a girlfriend"—I tried not wince, wasn't sure I succeeded judging by the look on Captain's face—"
I guess you'll have a lot more to talk about."
"Girlfriend?" Captain repeated. "What are you talking about? I don't have a girlfriend."
The confusion in his voice would've been funny if not for the situation.
"Ah okay," I said. "So, you and Rachel haven't made it official yet. That's cool."
His eyes narrowed. "Are you talking about that girl from yesterday? We just met. I talked to her for less than five minutes."
"Still, I think it's safe to say she wants more from you than Starbucks."
And she's gorgeous and looks at you like you hung the moon, I thought. That had to be enticing.
"Listen, she is pretty and seemed like a nice girl."
Gah, every word added another wound to my chest.
"But there's nothing going on," he finished. "At least not on my end."
I put my hands on my hips, feeling like this was some kind of joke.
"But you just said she's pretty and nice," I said.
"Yeah…so?"
"Well, don't you think you should at least give it a shot?" I really had no idea why I was pushing this. Getting him to see all of Rachel's good qualities would only make me look worse by comparison. But there I was, shooting myself in the foot. "She's on color guard with Gemma. She called you sexy, even asked me about you."
His eyebrows rose. "What did you say?"
"Well, I told her we were best friends," I said.
"And?"
He took a step closer, and I seemed to lose my breath.
"Rachel asked if we like each other."
"Um hm. Anything else?"
"She"—I gulped as he took another step. Captain was close enough now that I could feel the heat from his body—"she wanted to know if we were a couple."
"And?" he said again.
"And I told her we…aren't together."
My voice fell on the last word.
Captain put a hand under my chin, and I raised my head to meet his eyes.
"You sound disappointed," he commented. "Why?"
"I don't know. " I shrugged, thinking quickly. "Maybe I'm envious that you found someone, and now I'll be all alone. You did say you couldn't stop thinking about her."
Cap grinned. "Did I?"
"Stop playing," I said and pushed his hand away. He was still right next to me, though. So even if we weren't touching, it kind of felt like we were.
"Seriously, I don't recall that."
I rolled my eyes. "Captain, come on. It was like ten seconds ago. You were just talking about how your focus last night was off because your mind was on some girl."
Captain pushed his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, but I never said it was Rachel."
Thinking back, I realized he was right. I'd only assumed it was her because…well, who else could he have been talking about? A terrible thought struck then.
"Don't tell me," I said, only partly joking. "There's some other girl I don't know about; isn't there? Wow, Captain. How many girls do you have chasing you?"
He lifted his hand in response and pushed a strand of my hair back behind my ear. The light touch made me shiver.
"There's only one girl I see," he said while gazing down at me.
It made my heart skip.
"Captain?" I said.
Oh no. With the way he was looking at me, I started to hope.
Before he could answer my unasked question, a voice intruded on our moment.
"Hey, you kids!" We both looked over to see a teacher, waving at us from a few doors down. "Didn't you hear the late bell? Get to class."
Looking back up at Captain, I watched as he took a step back.
"I'll see you later, Anne," he said. "We still have some things to discuss. Meet at your house after school?"
"Sure," I said breathlessly. "Can't wait."
No matter what he wanted to talk about, whether it was makeup, music, or the mystery girl he mentioned, I'd be there to listen. I missed my best friend. And after yesterday's short break, I couldn't wait to spend more time with him.
If I happened to leave some tendrils of my hair out, and if he ended up pushing them behind my ear again?
Well, you can't blame a girl for trying.
CHAPTER 8
Was it stupid of me to hope that I could possibly be the girl Captain had been talking about?
Probably.
Did that stop me from taking extra time with my hair and appearance before he showed up at my house after school?
Heck no.
Besides, it was a secret hope, the one I kept hidden in the deepest part of my heart. If I'd read him wrong, there was no harm done. I could and would take my secret to the grave. It would be a lonely life watching my best friend fall in love, get married, and eventually start a whole new life without me. But I would do it if that would make Captain happy.
I gulped as I applied a hint of mascara to my lashes.
Despite my love of makeup, I didn't usually wear much myself. My sister Beth had made a joke once at my expense, saying I was such a plain Jane that even a ton of makeup wouldn't make a difference. She had a talent for saying hurtful things. But I didn't take it to heart. She still asked me to do her makeup before every big, swanky function she attended, and I made her look beautiful like I would anyone else.
Though sometimes when she'd been extra nasty, I admit, I would retaliate by not telling her she had lipstick on her teeth.
It probably did nothing. She most likely checked anyway, but it made me feel better.
Once I was done, my eyes shown brighter, and my lips seemed fuller thanks to the gloss. Even my skin had a healthy glow. A fact that Lady pointed out to me as I opened the door for her.
"Oh Anne," she said. "Don't you look nice! What's the occasion? Did you decide to come with your father and me into the city?"
I shook my head. "Thank you for the compliment, but no."
She smiled. "Are you going out tonight?"
"Actually, I'm waiting on someone."
"Oh, I see. Both of your sisters had a party to go to—though I think Mary may have tagged along with Beth, much to her displeasure."
"Lady, my dear!" My father appeared, wearing a dapper suit and alligator shoes. "Sorry I kept you waiting, but you know how long it takes to get my hair looking this fabulous. Are you ready to go?"
Right then, a familiar car pulled up to the curb. But it wasn't the truck that got my heart pumping. That reaction was reserved for the guy who stepped out and began walking up the path to our front door.
"Well," Lady said under her breath, "now, I see what the makeup is about."
My dad looked surprised to see Captain coming toward our house. He was completely taken aback when my name fell from Cap's lips.
"Hey, Anne," he said, stopping after he'd climbed the steps of our porch.
"Do you know this young man?" my father said.
I repressed an eyeroll but only just.
"Yes, Dad," I said. "This is my best friend, Captain. We go to school together. He's been coming over to the house for years now."
There was no recognition in my father's eyes.
"Captain," Lady said. "I didn't think I'd see you again so soon."
He gave her a polite nod. "Ma'am." Then he turned and held out a hand to my dad. "Mr. Elliot, it's nice to meet you again. I'm Captain."
"What are you the captain of?" my father asked, perplexed as Captain shook his hand. "And how do you know my daughter?"
Before he could respond to that, I jumped in.
"It's his name, and like I said, he's my best friend. By the way, didn't you have dinner reservations?"
"Oh Lord, yes!" Dad walked outside to stand next to Lady and offered her his arm like a real gentleman. "Shall we go, Lady? I do hate being late."
Lady was looking at Captain as he stared at me, and I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.
"Maybe we should stay," she said slowly. "I wouldn't want Anne to be left alone."
"But this young man is here." Dad began pulling her away. "A
nd it took us forever to get these reservations. She'll be fine. Won't you, Anne?"
I nodded as I met Captain's gaze. "I think so."
"There," my father said as if it settled the matter.
Lady wasn't convinced. "But—"
"You two have a fun night and be safe," I said. " I'm good here."
Lady looked between Cap and me, shook her head, and then finally took my dad's arm. "If you say so," she said. "But just be careful, Anne. And call if you need anything."
"I will," I promised.
My feelings as they left were part relief, part exasperation and all excitement.
Captain smiled as he held his arm out to me and said, "Shall we go, Anne?"
"Sure," I said.
Unlike Lady, I didn't hesitate. I took Cap's arm, and we stayed that way all the way up to my room. We broke apart when we were inside. But Captain didn't do what he usually did and sit on my bed. Nope, he stayed right where he was, staring down at me. I was scared I might be reading something into that look, so I walked over to my desk and started messing around with the brushes there.
"So Captain," I said, "what'll it be today?"
"Anne…"
"We could go for steampunk. That's always a favorite. I know I have some goggles and a top hat around here somewhere."
"Anne."
"Or maybe Ziggy Stardust? If you're feeling more of the rocker vibe."
Captain placed a hand on my arm to stop my fidgeting. "I think I want to be myself for what I'm about to say. Does that work for you?"
I swallowed hard. "Yeah, of course."
"You know our friendship means everything to me," he said.
"Me, too," I said with a nod.
"You've been my best friend for most of my life. That's what makes this so hard."
I blinked but forced myself to stay quiet and listen to what he had to say.
"When you kissed me that day for the challenge?" Captain's eyes met mine in the mirror. "It was the biggest surprise of my life."
That could've been either a good or a bad thing. I stayed quiet, but mentally crossed my fingers, hoping for a good outcome.
"I'm not into social media," he went on. "For the most part, it seems shallow, and everyone pretends to be happy when they're really not. Heck, people even go on hiatus—which makes no sense. I just don't get it."
I smiled. "I know, Cap."
The Kissing Challenge Page 6