Dying Wish: A Novel of the Sentinel Wars

by Shannon K. Butcher

  Iain slipped into the bed beside her. His cock rubbed against her hip, and he had to grit his teeth to keep from losing control. She turned toward him, shoving him back onto the bed. Her arms trembled with effort, but she held herself over him, staring down into his eyes. “It’s been a long time for me. I may be out of practice.”

  “Don’t fucking care,” he managed to say, his voice rough with unsated lust. He could guarantee it had been even longer for him, since he hadn’t been with a woman since long before she was born. Hadn’t even thought about it.

  “Good,” she said, and then she kissed him, sucking his bottom lip into her mouth.

  If the lightning storm going off in his brain was any indication, she hadn’t forgotten what to do. His cock bucked against her stomach, and he could feel slick wetness gathering at the tip.

  He’d never been more ready for a woman in his life, and yet he didn’t dare rush this. She deserved his best effort, and he deserved to take his time and enjoy this as much as he could.

  The monster wanted him to hurry the fuck up and shove his cock into her—make her take it all and fill her up with his seed, over and over. Iain told the beast to shut the hell up and enjoy the ride.

  Her leg slipped between his, and she rubbed her mound along his thigh. He could feel the slick heat gathering between her legs as she rode him. The sweet drag of her flesh against his sent shards of electric current up his spine, making his balls tighten. It would have been so easy to come like this with her, but it’s not how he wanted it to be. He wanted her to get off first, so he could hear her cries of pleasure while he could still pay attention enough to tuck them away in his memory forever. If there was one sound he wanted to remember when he died, it would be Jackie’s sweet screams as she came.

  Another option wove its way into his mind, but he cast it aside as impossible and selfish. Soulless men didn’t deserve children, not to mention the fact that he couldn’t have one even if he wanted—at least not without Tynan’s help.

  The hopeful echo of a child’s laugh was not for him. But this—Jackie’s soft sighs and the feel of her fingers stroking his skin—this was more than he could ask for.

  She moved to straddle him, and he knew that if he let her sweet pussy anywhere near his cock, he’d forget himself and the monster would take over. Instead, he flipped her back onto the bed and pinned her there with his thigh while he kissed her.

  He cupped her breast, letting his thumb slide over her velvet nipple. She arched her back and grabbed his head, pushing it down to her breast, while at the same time, his mind was flooded with the image of his mouth suckling her.

  At least he knew exactly what she wanted. Now it was his turn to see if he could show her what he intended to do.

  Iain created an image of his dark head between her thighs, his tongue stroking her, his fingers pushing deep. He propelled that thought through their link, and heard her quiet gasp of desire.

  He took that as his invitation, and kissed his way down her body, licking hot trails over her ribs and around the hollow of her belly button. The farther down he went, the wider her legs opened to make room for his body.

  Hot, pink flesh greeted him, and the scent of her arousal was nearly more than he could stand. He caught her gaze as he got his first taste, and then her eyes fluttered shut and her head flopped back onto the pillow.

  So sweet, so wet for him, she drove him crazy without even trying. He flicked his tongue across her clit, and her hips jolted off the bed.

  Iain pinned her down with one arm while he slid his fingers along her folds, teasing her.

  Desire grew between them, a needful, desperate thing. He wasn’t sure if it was her desire or his own, but whatever it was, he wasn’t strong enough to play around any longer.

  He thrust two fingers inside her, feeling how tight she was around him, how wet. He tried to go slowly, giving her body time to stretch and adjust to his invasion, but lust was driving him on, compelling him to make her come. Once she let go, she’d relax and be able to take his cock much easier. Much deeper. He needed that closeness. He needed everything she had to give, because chances were, he’d never again feel the touch of a woman.

  That thought spurred him on. He sucked her clit, and worked another finger inside of her body.

  Jackie’s muscles tightened down, and her movements became stronger as she bucked against him. Her breathing sped, and she started making a soft sound warning of her impending orgasm.

  He sped up the pace. Through their link, he sent his desire to see her come, to feel it around his fingers and taste it on his tongue. That seemed to send her over the edge and her body began to shake as she came. He stayed with her, drawing her orgasm out until all that was left was the fluttering remnants of pleasure coursing through her body.

  Iain lapped at her pussy, easing her back down. His own desire was clawing at him, but the satisfaction of watching her come gave him the strength to ignore it all. What he couldn’t ignore was the rising need to make her do it again. Only this time, she was going to come around his cock.

  Chapter 19

  Jackie was shaking with pleasure. Her body trembled with it, until she was sure that it was radiating out of her pores.

  No one had ever made her orgasm like that before, but the way he was looking at her, his dark eyes hooded and his cheeks stained with lust, she was convinced he was going to try to do it again.

  She should have been too tired to care. Funneling so much power tonight had drained her. Fighting the cold had sapped her strength. And while she was limp and boneless, she wasn’t even considering telling him to stop and let her rest.

  Jackie could feel his need riding alongside her own muted lust. His was sharper, hotter, with jagged edges that tore at him until she wasn’t sure how he could stand it. The fact that she could feel all of that should have been some kind of warning, but right now, with her body humming and warm, she didn’t care to sort out what it meant. For now, it was enough to know that she had the most delicious man on the face of the planet naked in bed with her, lusting after her with a ferocity that shocked her, and she wasn’t going to let that go to waste.

  He crawled up over her, holding her legs spread wide with his body. The sheets beneath her were wet, but that was his fault as much as it was hers. Even now, she could feel slick heat easing from her as her body ached to be filled.

  Jackie grabbed his head and pulled him down for a kiss. As his mouth met hers, a pulse of something dark and dangerous slammed into her through the luceria. It brought with it a rising tide of lust and physical need, and a hint of something…deadly. Illuminated for a split second, like from a flash of lightning, the feeling vanished, and all that was left was the thrumming beat of her own heart. It was like Iain had cut her off from himself, shoving her away.

  And she didn’t like it.

  She pushed him back and stared into his eyes. “Let me in.”

  “No. You don’t belong there.”

  Bullshit. It felt too right for her not to belong. He was hiding something, and she was going to find out what it was.

  She grabbed his cock, sliding her fingers over it, spreading slick wetness down from the tip. Iain’s jaw bunched as he let out a hissing curse.

  “I want to feel what you feel again. Let me in,” she ordered.

  The tendons in his neck stood out, and his body shook as he braced himself over hers. “No.”

  She wasn’t the kind of woman who took no for an answer. Her grip tightened, and she sped the pace of her strokes as she scooted to line their bodies up. “I want it. Give it to me.”

  Iain let out a pained groan and squeezed his eyes shut. “I don’t want you to see it.”

  “See what?”

  He didn’t answer, so she slid the tip of his erection against her folds, covering him with her wet heat.

  “Don’t,” he choked out, but whatever else he was going to say got swallowed up in a snarl. His eyes popped open and she felt the floodgates break between them.
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br />   Emotions surged into her in a chaotic mix of anger and lust, protectiveness and loneliness. It all swirled together until she couldn’t distinguish one thing from another.

  Iain let out a choked sound, but stared down at her as his hips surged forward. His cock slid into her several inches, and then all she could think about was the way he stretched and filled her. Physical pleasure blocked out the rest as he began to move.

  His powerful body coiled around her, holding her close as his hips worked, rocking, forcing her to take more of him with each thrust. She tried to tell him to slow down, but there was no air to speak, and her own body was writhing, struggling to get even closer to him.

  There was too much stimulus. Her body was shimmering with sensation. Her mind was stuffed full of thoughts and feelings not her own. Pleasure suffused her every breath, and with each shifting slide of him inside her, she inched closer to another devastating climax.

  Words rattled through her head—low, frantic words of apology and regret. She couldn’t understand any of them, but the tone stringing them together was clear. He was sorry for what he was doing.

  She wasn’t. Not even close. She was devastated by it, stretched in so many directions she had no sense of where she was going, but none of that mattered. The only things she cared about were the feel of his body moving against hers, and the deep, resonating satisfaction purring from his mind.

  “It’s okay,” she panted. “It’s good. So good.”

  A feral growl rumbled through him, and he lifted her hips, angling their bodies so he could slide fractionally deeper.

  That was all it took. Her body coiled tight, then burst in an explosion of pleasure and light. Before she’d even had time to pull in a breath, she felt Iain tense and drive deep. His semen pumped inside of her, making her cry out as it pushed her even higher. She hung there, suspended in pure sensation and physical joy for what seemed like hours. Then finally, the storm eased and she went limp in his arms.

  Iain continued moving inside of her in slow, steady thrusts that sent tremors streaking through her. She was shaken all the way to her soul, completely shattered and yet somehow restored.

  She wasn’t sure she’d ever have pleasure like that in her life again after what she’d been through. But now, with Iain still hard inside of her, and his powerful body draped over hers, she had hope that at least one part of her old life would be normal. Even improved upon, if what she’d just experienced was any indication.

  It had never been that good before, and a part of her wondered if it would ever be that good with anyone besides Iain.

  Iain watched Jackie sleep. Her skin was still flushed pink, and her lips were still swollen and parted as if waiting for another kiss.

  He held himself in check, grateful that his monster had crawled back into its dank cage to leave him the hell alone. Iain felt…at peace. He wasn’t fighting himself or demons or even his own kind. He simply existed in this quiet space where he could hear the faint sound of Jackie’s breathing in time with his own heartbeat.

  Holding Samson had been a lot like this—giving him a sense of rightness that he hadn’t thought existed in the world. At least not for him, not anymore.

  He still wanted her, but the raging need had been eased, and now he was content with being near her, knowing she was safe.

  It wouldn’t last. Whatever magic she’d wrought with her touch would soon be gone, and he’d be battling the forces around and within him once more.

  Iain shifted his body closer, draping his arm over her waist. She turned toward him, snuggling her face against his chest and letting out a happy sigh. He held his breath, trying to feel some shift in his lifemark, some subtle sway of branches that would tell him she’d somehow brought his soul back to life.

  He knew it wasn’t possible, but the longer he was around her—connected to her—the more hopeful he became. He hadn’t cared about much of anything before. He did what he was supposed to do out of a sense of honor and duty, operating with little thought beyond what was the most efficient way to save his brothers and slay the demons. Like a robot, he did things without caring, moving from one task to the next without judging his actions.

  Being linked to Jackie had changed that. He wanted things now—impossible, beautiful things. And while his emotions gave him the ability to be with her like this, in the aftermath of passion, they also made it hard to accept what he knew awaited him.

  He could fool her for only so long. She’d learned to tap into his thoughts. She’d nearly seen his monster. It was only a matter of time before he could no longer protect her from what lurked inside of him—from what he truly was. She’d find out about his dead soul and everything they’d shared would forever be tainted with that knowledge.

  He didn’t want that. He wanted her to remember him with fondness, not horror. He couldn’t stand the idea that she’d regret what they’d shared, or that, in doing so, she would look at his brothers with skepticism and mistrust. As much as he hated the idea, she needed to move on to find another mate—one who was whole and could give her everything she deserved.

  Her fingers slid over his hip in a sleepy caress. Lust began to gather in him again, clouding his thoughts with how easy it would be to roll her back and fuck her. She was still slick from his seed. His cock would slide in easy. She wouldn’t even realize what he was doing until he had her where he wanted her, spread out beneath him, taking every inch.

  It wasn’t right. A man with honor wouldn’t take advantage of a sleeping woman like that. A man with honor would get up and guard her sleep, ensuring that she was safe while she got the rest she needed.

  So that’s what he did. He knelt beside the bed with his sword laid out before him, and let himself drift into that meditative state where his throbbing cock no longer mattered. If danger came near, he’d know it. If she rose from the bed, he’d hear. But until those things happened, he would hover here, in this gray place, letting his body dissipate into the fog.

  There was no thought here. No grief for what he would soon lose. It was as close to happiness as he was going to get.

  While Logan drove into Kansas City, Hope scoured the Internet for signs of the women she’d played with as a child—the ones Brenya had sent through the Sentinel Stone. She knew what it was like to be utterly alone in this world, without a single friend or relative to claim you. Sister Olive had taken Hope in, but had anyone been as kind to these women?

  Guilt weighed her down as her search went on. She couldn’t even remember these girls’ names, no matter how hard she tried. She could see their faces, and hear their voices, but that was all she could regain from her murky past.

  Logan pulled into a parking lot and stopped the van. His hand curled over her shoulder, massaging the ache from her neck. “You’ve been at this for hours. It’s time to take a break, love.”

  “You’d think it wouldn’t be all that hard to find some kind of record of two women showing up in a city with amnesia.”

  “Be grateful that it is hard. I’m sure that their lack of attention has served to protect them.”

  She let out a long sigh and leaned her cheek against his hand. “We have to find them.”

  “We will. You and I will go into the city and find them ourselves.”

  “I don’t even know where to start. The only articles I can find about women with amnesia are of people who have families. Most of them are elderly, and none of the pictures were of the girls I remember.”

  “Relax,” said Logan, and she could feel a hint of power sliding through his voice, draining her muscles of tension. “We will find them. After I show you something.”

  “Show me what?

  “I have a gift for you. I thought now would be a good time to give it to you, all things considered.”

  He was so sweet. Here she was worried sick, and he was working to find a way to make her feel better.

  Hope gave him a smile that felt a bit sloppy. “I’m sorry I’ve been such awful company.”

 
He stroked her cheek. “You’re worried. I am as well. But we will find your friends. Trust me on that.”

  “I do.” She knew he’d move heaven and earth to give her whatever she wanted. If those women were still out there, they would find them.

  He grinned and, in an instant, became the most beautiful man that had ever walked the planet. “Look up, love.”

  Hope looked out the front window of his van and saw that they’d arrived at the Tyler building—the one that had once housed the Sentinel Stone, the one where she’d come through with no memory of who she was or why she was here.

  “What are we doing here?” she asked.

  “This is your gift.”

  “What? My gift?”

  His smile widened. “I bought the building. I’ve already hired a construction crew to rebuild the interior, and a director to oversee the project.”

  “You bought me a building?” She had no idea why he would do such a thing.

  “I bought you a homeless shelter—one to replace the one that burned down. I thought we could name it after Sister Olive.”

  The solid brick structure wavered in her vision as tears filled her eyes. She’d spent years working at the old shelter. It was like a home to her. Sister Olive had taken her in and watched over her when no one else had cared. And now she was gone—killed by Synestryn. The old shelter had burned to the ground. Hope had tried to move on, but her thoughts were often of the people left behind, of those who no longer had a safe place to go.

  Logan must have known. And he wasn’t the kind of man who could know about a need without working to fill it.

  That was one more reason why she loved him so deeply.

  “Thank you,” she whispered, unable to speak clearly through gratitude clogging her throat. She unfastened her seat belt and leaned over, kissing him, trying to show him how she felt in the face of words that would not flow.