Corded (The Corded Saga Book 1)

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  “I’m not addicting.” I wasn’t. The only man I ever felt anything for ran away from me. Seeing Ethan again made me realize how inflated my memories of him were, but I’d felt something for him. And he’d left.

  “You are the most addicting thing I’ve ever encountered.” His hand balled into a fist at his side. “You see that.” He pointed out the window.

  I accepted the abrupt conversation change. I didn’t want to focus on the kiss either. “That large building?” I followed his gaze. “The one surrounded by the fence?”

  “That’s an electric fence. If you notice it goes up as tall as the building.” Mason stared out at it across the city. “Want to guess what that building is?”

  “Central.” I knew it without him telling me. No other building would have that kind of fortress of protection.

  “Then you understand how difficult it would be to break in. Impossible.”

  “Nothing is impossible.” I was beginning to believe that more and more. I’d enjoyed kissing Mason. Twice.

  “Ok. I’ll play along. Let’s say I could break in, it would be impossible to get out with your sister alive. That part is impossible.”

  “And Bailey. I need her too.”

  “You really think I can get a baby? No, not just a baby. A baby girl out of Central?” He narrowed his eyes.

  I sighed. “I need you to. I need them.”

  “I’m not giving up, but I need time to think. Do you understand?” He reached out as if to touch me, but then he dropped his hand.

  “How much time?”

  “A week at least. I need to talk to contacts, see what can be done.”

  “I can give you a week.” Patience wasn’t one of my virtues, but I didn’t have any other options.

  “Give me a week?” He smiled. “You act as though you have another choice.”

  “There’s always another choice, even if it’s not an easy one.”

  “Ready to go to bed, or do you want to watch a little longer?” He gestured to the window.

  “Watch longer.” I pressed my hand against the glass and gazed out. A light rain fell from the sky, creating an eerie effect in the lights. “Thank you for this. I needed it.”

  “There are such things as good surprises.” He stood right next to me, but he didn’t touch me at all.

  “There are, which is hard to believe in the world we live in.”

  Nineteen

  Mason

  I’d made the right choice. I’d made mistake after mistake with Kayla, but showing her the window was the perfect decision. She needed to see the outside world—both the sky and the city. It served two purposes, showing her what existed outside and showing her where her sister was.

  I’d overplayed the possibility of helping her sister. I just couldn’t say no to her eyes, especially not after that kiss. It was not a forced kiss between strangers—it was a willing kiss between two who knew each other well. Even after only a few days, Kayla knew more about my thoughts and feelings than anyone. I wished I could say the same about her, but she still had a wall up. It was breaking down a little, but I wanted it all gone. I wanted to know the real Kayla. I wanted her trust. And I wanted her. I wanted her in a way I’d never wanted a woman before. I wanted her for her and not for the escape. I wanted to know her in a way I only could accomplish through intimacy.

  I’d had to tear her away from the window. I couldn’t blame her for wanting to spend more time there, but it wasn’t safe. Windows were dangerous in our world.

  I led her back downstairs with her hand in mine. Neither of us said anything the whole way back to my room. She wordlessly picked up the nightie she’d worn the previous night and disappeared into the bathroom.

  I stripped down to my boxers and waited for her. It was impossible to get the second kiss out of my head. Would I really be able to keep my hands to myself for a second night?

  She walked out of the bathroom before I could make up my mind. She headed straight for the bed, pulling back the sheets on the same side she’d slept on the night before.

  I stared, watching her every move. “You’re beautiful.”

  “You don’t have much to compare me against.” She pulled the blankets up around her. “Every women is considered beautiful now. Our rarity enhances our appearance.”

  “That’s not true.” I moved and sat down beside her. “You are beautiful for reasons beyond rarity.”

  “Then why do you like my hair? It’s because you’ve never seen the color before.”

  “You think I want you only for your hair?” I resisted the urge to run my hands through it.

  “No.” She shook her head. “But it’s what you noticed first.”

  “Why are you averse to me finding you beautiful?” I struggled to understand what was going on in her head.

  “Because I don’t want to be beautiful if it means I’m viewed as a thing. An object.”

  “I don’t view you that way. I wouldn’t have shown an object the window. Or given it books.” Had my gestures meant anything?

  “And I appreciate both of the things you did, but that doesn’t change the mark on my arm. It doesn’t change that you think you own me.”

  I slipped underneath the sheets beside her. She shifted away from me slightly. I moved closer. She frowned.

  “I don’t own you. And it doesn’t matter. I can’t get what I want from you through ownership.” I wanted her willingly in every way. I wanted to get to know the real her. To get close to the real her.

  “Sex.” She said the word with distaste.

  “No. You. The real you.” Of course I wanted sex, but it was more than that. It was so much more than that even if I still didn’t understand where the emotions were coming from.

  “You make no sense.”

  “How am I confusing you?” I was confusing myself, but that’s because I knew how far off this was from my usual thoughts and feelings. She didn’t.

  “A person can’t change so fundamentally. A few days ago you viewed me as a sexual object. That can’t have changed.”

  “It has.” I put a hand on her leg over the sheets and blankets. “It’s changed.”

  “How?”

  “It’s changed because of how you make me feel. Who you make me want to be.” I was uncharacteristically open and honest. I needed her to know.

  “You barely know me.”

  “I want to change that. I want to know everything about you.” I wanted to know the things no one else knew.

  “There’s not much to know. I’m a girl from the Rurals who has lost everything.” Her eyes clouded over.

  “No.” I took her hand in mine. “You’re Kayla. A beautiful, intriguing, intelligent, and giving young woman from the Rurals who is willing to do anything to protect those she loves.”

  A blush crept up her cheeks. “You don’t actually mean that.”

  “Of course I do.” I squeezed her hand. “And I am going to do everything I can to help you. I want to help you.”

  “What if you’re right?” She sighed. “What if it’s impossible?”

  “I thought nothing was impossible.” We had just had this discussion, but this time it had been flipped. I couldn’t let her give up because it might mean she lost the thing that made her unique, that made her irresistible.

  “I wish nothing was.”

  I cupped her chin with my free hand. “I never believed I’d meet anyone who could make me feel. I did. You, in yourself, are an impossibility.”

  “So what now?” She blinked a few times as if trying to hide tears. “What are we supposed to do?”

  “I’m going to plan.”

  “And me?” She put a hand to her chest.

  “You’re going to plan too.”

  “How? I know nothing about Central.”

  “You managed to make it here alive. You know more than you think.” I still couldn’t quite believe she’d made it. I worried more happened on the journey than she let on, but like many things I’d have to wait until she was
ready to tell me about it.

  She relaxed back against the pillows. “I should feel uncomfortable.”

  “In what way?”

  “Sharing a bed with you.” She adjusted her pillow.

  “But you don’t?” Now that was a surprise.

  “Not the way I should. Maybe it’s because I expected worse.”

  “Or because you’re comfortable with me. That is a possibility.”

  “How can I be comfortable with a man I barely know?” There was real wonder in her voice.

  “In the same way you’ve managed to change me in a few days.”

  “If you start speaking of fate I will be worried.”

  “You don’t like the idea of fate?” I moved closer.

  “It’s too similar to fairytales.”

  “I thought you liked those stories.” I turned to get a better look at her.

  “I do, but they are only stories. Quinn got herself in trouble once she started believing in them.”

  “Got herself in trouble—meaning pregnant. Is that what you’re afraid of? That you’re a breeder?” I wondered how frightening that was for her. Or was there also excitement? I couldn’t begin to imagine.

  “Of course that scares me. I know what would happen. You’d give me to the Central, and the poor child would be tortured for their entire life. It’s horrible.”

  “You think I’d give up my own child?” My jaw dropped.

  “You said you believed in Central. You said you’d do that.”

  “I can say whatever I want. I couldn’t hand over my own child. The thought of having one...” I trailed off as I struggled for words. “Now that would be impossible.”

  “I’m probably not a breeder. I can’t imagine both Quinn and I both are.”

  “Then why are you so scared?”

  “Because I shouldn’t like you.”

  I smiled. “That’s not a reason to be afraid.”

  “I have enough in my life to worry about. I don’t want to worry about getting hurt.”

  “What if I promise I won’t hurt you?” I pulled her into my arms. Surprisingly she let me.

  “That’s not a promise you can make.”

  “Sure it is. It’s a an easier promise than the one about your sister.” I held her closer.

  “You can’t promise not to hurt me because you can’t promise how you’ll feel.”

  “I’m not going to hurt you.” I looked deep into her eyes.

  “You can’t promise that.” She shook her head.

  “Fine, I’m not going to argue with you about this, but I can promise that I will do everything in my power not to hurt you. Maybe this is one of those times when you have to accept next to perfect, because you’ll never find perfect.”

  “I don’t want perfect. I want safe,” she said in a whisper.

  “You are safe.”

  “Not just for me.”

  “Kayla.” I brushed my lips against her forehead. “Please put some trust in me.”

  “I’m trying.” She rested her head on my chest, and my heart rate accelerated. It felt so good, so natural to have her head there.

  “Try harder.”

  She smiled. She genuinely smiled, and my whole world lit up a little bit brighter.

  “And do that more. All the time.”

  “What?” She lifted her head.

  “Smile. There’s nothing greater in the world.”

  She laughed and set her head back down. “For now can I enjoy this?”

  “Enjoy lying here with me?”

  “Yes. Upstairs you asked if I ever want to do anything selfish. Just for me.”

  “I did.” I ran my hand through her hair.

  “This feels that way. Lying with you helps no one.”

  “I have to disagree with you there.” I kissed the top of her head. “It helps me.”

  “Are you ever going to demand more?”

  “Demand more? As in sexually?” I tried to follow her question.

  “Yes.” She closed her eyes.

  “I’m not going to demand anything from you.” I ran my lips down her neck. “I’m hoping eventually you decide you want it.”

  “Right now I like this.” She rested her hand on my chest. “And that kiss we shared before.”

  “You liked that, huh?” I teased.

  “I did. Strangely.”

  “How is it strange?”

  “Because I thought I’d hate it.”

  “I guess you got an extra surprise then.” I didn’t wait. I connected my lips with hers again. With Kayla, it was smart to never miss an opening.

  Twenty

  Kayla

  Mason left before I woke up the next morning, but he left a note telling me to knock on the door for Jarrett when I was ready to go down to the Hydros.

  He’d promised I could, but I was still surprised to find the note. I got dressed in the pants that had appeared that morning as well and put on the work boots. I wasn’t sure what to make of what had passed between Mason and I the night before, but some physical labor might distract me from over thinking things. I had to stay focused on what was important: saving Quinn and Bailey. I definitely needed a distraction that wasn’t over six-feet tall and more attractive than any man I’d ever met.

  Dressed and ready to work, I knocked on the outer doors of Mason’s room.

  They opened immediately, and I found Jarrett grinning. “Morning, Kayla.”

  “Good morning.” I nodded. “Were you really waiting here for me?”

  “Doing some work.” He held up papers. “But pretty much yes.”

  “Oh. Sorry you had to wait.” I knew Jarrett was there just as much to put Mason as ease as to be useful to me, but it was still hard to believe he had spent his morning sitting around waiting for me. He was a watchdog I reminded myself. It was another reminder I wasn’t free.

  “No trouble. You ready for work?” Jarrett seemed to notice the change in my demeanor, but he didn’t say anything.

  “I think so.” Now that it was actually time to go out I was nervous. I might not like having someone guarding me, but there was a comfort in it. The experience with Greer had shook me far more than I originally realized. It brought back unwanted memories of the traders.

  “Don’t worry. Taylor runs that floor, and he doesn’t bite.” Jarrett nudged my shoulder.

  “That’s not funny.” I put a hand on hip. Jarrett—or any man outside of my family- could not understand the kind of fear I’d been living in.

  “He’s tame. That’s all I’m saying.” He led the way to the elevator.

  “Ok. Thanks for the heads up.” Picking a fight with one of the men who was being nice to me wasn’t a good plan. And I needed a plan of exit if Mason couldn’t help me.

  We didn’t run into anyone else on the elevator, and I had a feeling it was because I’d slept in. The only alarm I’d ever known was the sun, and it was taking me awhile to get used to finding other means to wake. I was also exhausted. My time with the traders and my trip through the city had worn me out more than I initially thought. Adrenaline had kept me going, but now that it was running out, the experience was catching up to me.

  We arrived on the Hydro floor and Jarrett waited with me. He pointed out a man with a dark beard as Taylor. He was pointing to men and shouting in a way that I assumed meant he was giving out work out assignments for the day.

  “You okay if I leave you?” Jarrett eyed the elevator. “I need to get to a meeting.”

  “I’m fine.” I was nervous, but I’d handled worse situations before. “Thanks for showing me down here.”

  “You sure?” He studied me. “I don’t want you to complain to Mason.”

  It was hard to reconcile the fear everyone had of upsetting Mason with the way he was with me. “I’m positive.”

  “Have fun.” He patted my back before disappearing back toward the elevator.

  I waited until Taylor was finished before walking over. “Excuse me.” I mustered as strong voice as possible.
In the days spent in the club, my confidence was waning. I assumed Taylor respected Mason and wouldn’t hurt me, but one never knew.

  “Kayla, hi.” His eyes lit up in a non-threatening way. It seemed more out of interest than ogling. “Mason mentioned you might be down this morning.”

  “Did you see him today?” I wondered how long he’d been gone when I woke up. I couldn’t believe I’d slept so deeply I hadn’t heard him leave.

  “No. He sent me a message, but I assume you’ve seen him today though. That is unless you slept in.” Taylor winked, and it looked a little out of place on his face. Maybe forty-five, Taylor was one of the older members of the club. On top of the crashing birth rate, people were dying earlier now too. There was less access to medicine than there used to be. There was less access to everything.

  I forced a smile. Taylor was being pleasant, and there was no reason I couldn’t be too.

  “Okay.” Taylor thankfully changed the subject. “I admit to being a little surprised you picked the Hydros as a work assignment.”

  “It’s the closest thing to what I did at home.” I once again went with the truthful explanation.

  Taylor smiled kindly. “Oh yes. You’re from the Rurals. Did your father own land then?”

  “Yes. fifty acres.”

  “What did you grow?”

  “A variety of things for ourselves, but we sold cotton.” I thought about Bolton and his dream of a peace orchid. I hoped he survived and got to live that dream.

  “Then you know all about being self-sufficient.”

  I nodded, pushing away thoughts of Bolton that would only hurt.

  “That’s what it’s all about down here. We need to grow everything we need indoors for security reasons.” He leaned in. “We haven’t tried it with livestock. Too messy.” He winked.

  “Where does the meat come from?” I noticed it wasn’t served often, but they had some.

  “We’ll do routine hunts or buy it from the Rurals.”

  “But in case those aren’t successful, you’ve learned to make do without it.” As a society we’d gotten use to making due without a lot.

  “Exactly. We’ve figured out how to supplement our diets.”