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American Notes for General Circulation

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by Dickens, Chales


  little bowers, sketched by a masterly hand, in the highly varnished

  lithographic plan hanging up in the agent's counting-house in the

  city of London: that this room of state, in short, could be

  anything but a pleasant fiction and cheerful jest of the captain's,

  invented and put in practice for the better relish and enjoyment of

  the real state-room presently to be disclosed:- these were truths

  which I really could not, for the moment, bring my mind at all to

  bear upon or comprehend. And I sat down upon a kind of horsehair

  slab, or perch, of which there were two within; and looked, without

  any expression of countenance whatever, at some friends who had

  come on board with us, and who were crushing their faces into all

  manner of shapes by endeavouring to squeeze them through the small

  doorway.

  We had experienced a pretty smart shock before coming below, which,

  but that we were the most sanguine people living, might have

  prepared us for the worst. The imaginative artist to whom I have

  already made allusion, has depicted in the same great work, a

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  Dickens, Charles - American Notes for General Circulation

  chamber of almost interminable perspective, furnished, as Mr.

  Robins would say, in a style of more than Eastern splendour, and

  filled (but not inconveniently so) with groups of ladies and

  gentlemen, in the very highest state of enjoyment and vivacity.

  Before descending into the bowels of the ship, we had passed from

  the deck into a long narrow apartment, not unlike a gigantic hearse

  with windows in the sides; having at the upper end a melancholy

  stove, at which three or four chilly stewards were warming their

  hands; while on either side, extending down its whole dreary

  length, was a long, long table, over each of which a rack, fixed to

  the low roof, and stuck full of drinking-glasses and cruet-stands,

  hinted dismally at rolling seas and heavy weather. I had not at

  that time seen the ideal presentment of this chamber which has

  since gratified me so much, but I observed that one of our friends

  who had made the arrangements for our voyage, turned pale on

  entering, retreated on the friend behind him., smote his forehead

  involuntarily, and said below his breath, 'Impossible! it cannot

  be!' or words to that effect. He recovered himself however by a

  great effort, and after a preparatory cough or two, cried, with a

  ghastly smile which is still before me, looking at the same time

  round the walls, 'Ha! the breakfast-room, steward - eh?' We all

  foresaw what the answer must be: we knew the agony he suffered.

  He had often spoken of THE SALOON; had taken in and lived upon the

  pictorial idea; had usually given us to understand, at home, that

  to form a just conception of it, it would be necessary to multiply

  the size and furniture of an ordinary drawing-room by seven, and

  then fall short of the reality. When the man in reply avowed the

  truth; the blunt, remorseless, naked truth; 'This is the saloon,

  sir' - he actually reeled beneath the blow.

  In persons who were so soon to part, and interpose between their

  else daily communication the formidable barrier of many thousand

  miles of stormy space, and who were for that reason anxious to cast

  no other cloud, not even the passing shadow of a moment's

  disappointment or discomfiture, upon the short interval of happy

  companionship that yet remained to them - in persons so situated,

  the natural transition from these first surprises was obviously

  into peals of hearty laughter, and I can report that I, for one,

  being still seated upon the slab or perch before mentioned, roared

  outright until the vessel rang again. Thus, in less than two

  minutes after coming upon it for the first time, we all by common

  consent agreed that this state-room was the pleasantest and most

  facetious and capital contrivance possible; and that to have had it

  one inch larger, would have been quite a disagreeable and

  deplorable state of things. And with this; and with showing how, -

  by very nearly closing the door, and twining in and out like

  serpents, and by counting the little washing slab as standing-room,

  - we could manage to insinuate four people into it, all at one

  time; and entreating each other to observe how very airy it was (in

  dock), and how there was a beautiful port-hole which could be kept

  open all day (weather permitting), and how there was quite a large

  bull's-eye just over the looking-glass which would render shaving a

  perfectly easy and delightful process (when the ship didn't roll

  too much); we arrived, at last, at the unanimous conclusion that it

  was rather spacious than otherwise: though I do verily believe

  that, deducting the two berths, one above the other, than which

  nothing smaller for sleeping in was ever made except coffins, it

  was no bigger than one of those hackney cabriolets which have the

  door behind, and shoot their fares out, like sacks of coals, upon

  the pavement.

  Having settled this point to the perfect satisfaction of all

  parties, concerned and unconcerned, we sat down round the fire in

  the ladies' cabin - just to try the effect. It was rather dark,

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  Dickens, Charles - American Notes for General Circulation

  certainly; but somebody said, 'of course it would be light, at

  sea,' a proposition to which we all assented; echoing 'of course,

  of course;' though it would be exceedingly difficult to say why we

  thought so. I remember, too, when we had discovered and exhausted

  another topic of consolation in the circumstance of this ladies'

  cabin adjoining our state-room, and the consequently immense

  feasibility of sitting there at all times and seasons, and had

  fallen into a momentary silence, leaning our faces on our hands and

  looking at the fire, one of our party said, with the solemn air of

  a man who had made a discovery, 'What a relish mulled claret will

  have down here!' which appeared to strike us all most forcibly; as

  though there were something spicy and high-flavoured in cabins,

  which essentially improved that composition, and rendered it quite

  incapable of perfection anywhere else.

  There was a stewardess, too, actively engaged in producing clean

  sheets and table-cloths from the very entrails of the sofas, and

  from unexpected lockers, of such artful mechanism, that it made

  one's head ache to see them opened one after another, and rendered

  it quite a distracting circumstance to follow her proceedings, and

  to find that every nook and corner and individual piece of

  furniture was something else besides what it pretended to be, and

  was a mere trap and deception and place of secret stowage, whose

  ostensible purpose was its least useful one.

  God bless that stewardess for her piously fraudulent account of

  January voyages! God bless her for her clear recollection of the

  companion passage of last year, when nobody was ill, and everybody

  dancing from morning to night, and it was 'a run' of twelve days,

  and a piece of the purest frolic, and
delight, and jollity! All

  happiness be with her for her bright face and her pleasant Scotch

  tongue, which had sounds of old Home in it for my fellow-traveller;

  and for her predictions of fair winds and fine weather (all wrong,

  or I shouldn't be half so fond of her); and for the ten thousand

  small fragments of genuine womanly tact, by which, without piecing

  them elaborately together, and patching them up into shape and form

  and case and pointed application, she nevertheless did plainly show

  that all young mothers on one side of the Atlantic were near and

  close at hand to their little children left upon the other; and

  that what seemed to the uninitiated a serious journey, was, to

  those who were in the secret, a mere frolic, to be sung about and

  whistled at! Light be her heart, and gay her merry eyes, for

  years!

  The state-room had grown pretty fast; but by this time it had

  expanded into something quite bulky, and almost boasted a baywindow

  to view the sea from. So we went upon deck again in high

  spirits; and there, everything was in such a state of bustle and

  active preparation, that the blood quickened its pace, and whirled

  through one's veins on that clear frosty morning with involuntary

  mirthfulness. For every gallant ship was riding slowly up and

  down, and every little boat was splashing noisily in the water; and

  knots of people stood upon the wharf, gazing with a kind of 'dread

  delight' on the far-famed fast American steamer; and one party of

  men were 'taking in the milk,' or, in other words, getting the cow

  on board; and another were filling the icehouses to the very throat

  with fresh provisions; with butchers'-meat and garden-stuff, pale

  sucking-pigs, calves' heads in scores, beef, veal, and pork, and

  poultry out of all proportion; and others were coiling ropes and

  busy with oakum yarns; and others were lowering heavy packages into

  the hold; and the purser's head was barely visible as it loomed in

  a state, of exquisite perplexity from the midst of a vast pile of

  passengers' luggage; and there seemed to be nothing going on

  anywhere, or uppermost in the mind of anybody, but preparations for

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  Dickens, Charles - American Notes for General Circulation

  this mighty voyage. This, with the bright cold sun, the bracing

  air, the crisply-curling water, the thin white crust of morning ice

  upon the decks which crackled with a sharp and cheerful sound

  beneath the lightest tread, was irresistible. And when, again upon

  the shore, we turned and saw from the vessel's mast her name

  signalled in flags of joyous colours, and fluttering by their side

  the beautiful American banner with its stars and stripes, - the

  long three thousand miles and more, and, longer still, the six

  whole months of absence, so dwindled and faded, that the ship had

  gone out and come home again, and it was broad spring already in

  the Coburg Dock at Liverpool.

  I have not inquired among my medical acquaintance, whether Turtle,

  and cold Punch, with Hock, Champagne, and Claret, and all the

  slight et cetera usually included in an unlimited order for a good

  dinner - especially when it is left to the liberal construction of

  my faultless friend, Mr. Radley, of the Adelphi Hotel - are

  peculiarly calculated to suffer a sea-change; or whether a plain

  mutton-chop, and a glass or two of sherry, would be less likely of

  conversion into foreign and disconcerting material. My own opinion

  is, that whether one is discreet or indiscreet in these

  particulars, on the eve of a sea-voyage, is a matter of little

  consequence; and that, to use a common phrase, 'it comes to very

  much the same thing in the end.' Be this as it may, I know that

  the dinner of that day was undeniably perfect; that it comprehended

  all these items, and a great many more; and that we all did ample

  justice to it. And I know too, that, bating a certain tacit

  avoidance of any allusion to to-morrow; such as may be supposed to

  prevail between delicate-minded turnkeys, and a sensitive prisoner

  who is to be hanged next morning; we got on very well, and, all

  things considered, were merry enough.

  When the morning - THE morning - came, and we met at breakfast, it

  was curious to see how eager we all were to prevent a moment's

  pause in the conversation, and how astoundingly gay everybody was:

  the forced spirits of each member of the little party having as

  much likeness to his natural mirth, as hot-house peas at five

  guineas the quart, resemble in flavour the growth of the dews, and

  air, and rain of Heaven. But as one o'clock, the hour for going

  aboard, drew near, this volubility dwindled away by little and

  little, despite the most persevering efforts to the contrary, until

  at last, the matter being now quite desperate, we threw off all

  disguise; openly speculated upon where we should be this time tomorrow,

  this time next day, and so forth; and entrusted a vast

  number of messages to those who intended returning to town that

  night, which were to be delivered at home and elsewhere without

  fail, within the very shortest possible space of time after the

  arrival of the railway train at Euston Square. And commissions and

  remembrances do so crowd upon one at such a time, that we were

  still busied with this employment when we found ourselves fused, as

  it were, into a dense conglomeration of passengers and passengers'

  friends and passengers' luggage, all jumbled together on the deck

  of a small steamboat, and panting and snorting off to the packet,

  which had worked out of dock yesterday afternoon and was now lying

  at her moorings in the river.

  And there she is! all eyes are turned to where she lies, dimly

  discernible through the gathering fog of the early winter

  afternoon; every finger is pointed in the same direction; and

  murmurs of interest and admiration - as 'How beautiful she looks!'

  'How trim she is!' - are heard on every side. Even the lazy

  gentleman with his hat on one side and his hands in his pockets,

  who has dispensed so much consolation by inquiring with a yawn of

  another gentleman whether he is 'going across' - as if it were a

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  Dickens, Charles - American Notes for General Circulation

  ferry - even he condescends to look that way, and nod his head, as

  who should say, 'No mistake about THAT:' and not even the sage Lord

  Burleigh in his nod, included half so much as this lazy gentleman

  of might who has made the passage (as everybody on board has found

  out already; it's impossible to say how) thirteen times without a

  single accident! There is another passenger very much wrapped-up,

  who has been frowned down by the rest, and morally trampled upon

  and crushed, for presuming to inquire with a timid interest how

  long it is since the poor President went down. He is standing

  close to the lazy gentleman, and says with a faint smile that he

  believes She is a very strong Ship; to which the lazy gentleman,

  looking first in his questioner's eye and then very hard in the

  w
ind's, answers unexpectedly and ominously, that She need be. Upon

  this the lazy gentleman instantly falls very low in the popular

  estimation, and the passengers, with looks of defiance, whisper to

  each other that he is an ass, and an impostor, and clearly don't

  know anything at all about it.

  But we are made fast alongside the packet, whose huge red funnel is

  smoking bravely, giving rich promise of serious intentions.

  Packing-cases, portmanteaus, carpet-bags, and boxes, are already

  passed from hand to hand, and hauled on board with breathless

  rapidity. The officers, smartly dressed, are at the gangway

  handing the passengers up the side, and hurrying the men. In five

  minutes' time, the little steamer is utterly deserted, and the

  packet is beset and over-run by its late freight, who instantly

  pervade the whole ship, and are to be met with by the dozen in

  every nook and corner: swarming down below with their own baggage,

  and stumbling over other people's; disposing themselves comfortably

  in wrong cabins, and creating a most horrible confusion by having

  to turn out again; madly bent upon opening locked doors, and on

  forcing a passage into all kinds of out-of-the-way places where

  there is no thoroughfare; sending wild stewards, with elfin hair,

  to and fro upon the breezy decks on unintelligible errands,

  impossible of execution: and in short, creating the most

  extraordinary and bewildering tumult. In the midst of all this,

  the lazy gentleman, who seems to have no luggage of any kind - not

  so much as a friend, even - lounges up and down the hurricane deck,

  coolly puffing a cigar; and, as this unconcerned demeanour again

  exalts him in the opinion of those who have leisure to observe his

  proceedings, every time he looks up at the masts, or down at the

  decks, or over the side, they look there too, as wondering whether

  he sees anything wrong anywhere, and hoping that, in case he

  should, he will have the goodness to mention it.

  What have we here? The captain's boat! and yonder the captain

  himself. Now, by all our hopes and wishes, the very man he ought

  to be! A well-made, tight-built, dapper little fellow; with a

  ruddy face, which is a letter of invitation to shake him by both

  hands at once; and with a clear, blue honest eye, that it does one

  good to see one's sparkling image in. 'Ring the bell!' 'Ding,

 

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