The Secret Millionaire

by Ryanne Corey

  “Then,” Anna said with sudden fire, “that’s where you’ve failed.”

  “Failed?” Zack felt like he was losing his mind. He’d presented a brief, rational explanation. He’d explained how he felt, and it wasn’t an easy thing to do. It was heroic, damn it. Anna obviously didn’t get it. “I’m trying not to mess up your life any more than I already have. I’m looking out for you, Anna. My father never gave my mother that consideration.”

  Anna whipped her hands out of his. “Did your mother ever ask for that consideration?”

  “Of course not. She didn’t realize what was going to happen. She didn’t know, not at the beginning.”

  “If you believe that, you’re a fool.” In that moment there was a clarity and maturity in Anna’s eyes that Zack had never noticed before. “There’s one thing I know about love, Zack. Real love. It takes away all your fear, giving you the ability to face anything. You’re wrong if you think your mother didn’t know from the beginning what life with your father would be like. She accepted it when she made the choice to love him unconditionally.”

  “You’re not getting this, Anna. You didn’t know my mother. And you sure as hell didn’t know my father. His contributions to the world didn’t include a shred of commitment to his marriage. Excuse me if I’m not willing to put you through something like that, let alone any children we might have.”

  “You made that clear when you said you knew who you were, and you accepted it. Well, big double-damn deal! We all know who we are. But some of us aren’t willing to remain that way all our lives. Where you come from does not have to be where you end up, Zack. With all your experience in the cold, cruel world, you’ve never figured that out, have you?”

  Zack’s eyes were the color of clouds before a thunderstorm, dark and ominous. Somewhere in the back of his mind, his famous temper was stirring to life. “You don’t seem to understand I’m making a sacrifice here! Because I love you.”

  “You don’t seem to understand that I’m not interested in your sacrifice,” she shot back. “Moreover, I don’t need it. Do you have any idea what would have happened to me if I’d accepted what life had handed me in the beginning? I’d be stuck in the ‘chain of hurt’ you talked about. But I waited and I hoped and I worked, and gradually it all came true for me. Even when my parents died, I refused to think my happiness went with them. I had their memories to keep me warm, I had my friends and my work. It would have been a lot easier just to give up, but I didn’t. It’s always easier to give up, but it’s never right.”

  “Don’t tell me what’s right and wrong,” Zack bit out softly. “Do you think I want to walk out of your life?”

  “Yes.” She was fast losing control, feeling tears stinging her eyes. The last thing she wanted right now was to let him see her cry. “Because that takes the pressure off you. You don’t have to succeed where your father failed if you never make the effort. You don’t have to prove once and for all what you’re made of. It’s so much easier to be a heroic cop than an ordinary human.”

  Instinctively Zack reached for her, then let his hand drop to his side. She didn’t want his touch, not now. And it seemed that the only gift within his power to give her was the gift of his absence. He hated himself for allowing her to be put in such a vulnerable position. It was thoughtless. It was cruel. It was just like something his father would have done.

  “Anna…I’ll always love you,” he said haltingly.

  “Don’t. If loving me means you have to leave me, I’m not interested,” she said coldly. “That kind of love is a little too conditional for my taste. Go home, Zack. And don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, I really will. I always am.”

  “I know you will.” Blind, unstrung to his soul, he turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

  Ten

  Men didn’t like to go shopping. At least, men who were veterinarians didn’t like to go shopping.

  However, since Kyle and Carrie’s wedding was only a few days away and the veterinarian didn’t want to be sleeping on the sofa on his wedding night, he bowed to his lovely fiancée’s wishes to act as chauffeur on her last-minute shopping trip with Anna. He had clear instructions to try to cheer Anna up whilst he drove the ladies hither and yon. He also had clear instructions to be sympathetic and not ask insensitive questions about Anna’s abrupt breakup with Zack ten days earlier. He wasn’t sure what might or might not be interpreted as sympathetic, so he played it safe by saying very little. Last but not least, he was sweetly asked not to wear his “favorite” shirt, a very loud green-and-red plaid that Carrie said would make a jolly Christmas place mat. This he could do with no problem. Lost in love and newly committed to be the perfect husband, Kyle just kept nodding his head at his beloved. Had she asked him if they could have twelve children, he would have just kept nodding. He had vowed to himself never to distress the love of his life again. He foresaw a smooth and unruffled existence together.

  Tread softly, he thought. That was the ticket.

  At the moment, the ladies were in the dressing room at Babette’s Bridal Boutique, trying to choose a new bridesmaid’s gown for Anna. The custom-made dress hanging ready in her closet was suddenly two sizes too big, and the seamstress had no free time to alter it until September. Carrie wasn’t waiting until September to get married.

  Kyle was seated near the dressing room, close enough to look attentive, but not so close that he would look like some sort of voyeur. He also kept his head politely averted, for fear he might get a glimpse of someone or something he shouldn’t. He was taking no more chances. He was still shaken up by his near disaster. Never again would he look at another woman in that way. Except Carrie, of course.

  A louvered door whooshed, then Carrie and Anna appeared before him.

  “There’s not a dress in the store that fits her,” Carrie told her almost-husband, literally pulling at her hair. “I can’t believe how much weight she’s lost in ten days. Kyle, what do you think of this one?”

  To look or not to look? Kyle wondered with a pang of uncertainty. As Carrie seemed to be waiting for his response, he reluctantly allowed his gaze to quickly skim over Anna from head to toe. He saw what was quickly becoming a familiar detached expression on her face. The blue sateen bridesmaid’s dress wore her rather than the other way around, hanging limply on her shoulders, burying her breasts and not even pausing to consider her waist.

  He realized with alarm that he had looked in the general vicinity of Anna’s breasts. “A nice outfit,” he gasped, focusing on a nearby rack of wedding veils. It was the least insensitive remark he could think of.

  “Oh, dear,” he said.

  Carrie threw up her arms, completely exasperated. “It’s not nice. This is the smallest size they have in this dress. Kyle, I’m at my wits’ end. Anna, you simply have to eat yourself into this dress. We’ve got less than a week.”

  Anna smiled vaguely, patting Carrie on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. I told you before, I think the other dress is just fine.”

  “Fine if you like curtains. You put Scarlett O’Hara to shame.”

  Kyle perked up at the mention of a new name. “Who is she, sweetheart?”

  Carrie sighed. “You know. She’s the heroine of…oh, never mind who she is. It’s a good thing we’re getting married, Kyle. You need to see more people and fewer animals.”

  “I need to see you,” Kyle told her emphatically. “Every minute, every hour, every day. If I didn’t, I doubt I would be sitting here in Babette’s Bridal Boutique. It’s a good thing I’m confident of my masculinity.”

  Momentarily distracted, Carrie gave him a private smile. “And so you should be.”

  Anna barely heard the intimate exchange. Her arms hung limply at her sides, listless and tired. She wasn’t sleeping these days any more than she was eating. When Zack left her, he took her energy, her joy and her heart with him. Still, she was a fighter. She wouldn’t let this make her bitter or resentful. Very thin, perhaps, but not bitter. If she knew then wha
t she knew now…she would have loved him anyway. Heaven help her, that sounded like a country-western song. She winced at her maudlin train of thought.

  “Are you all right?” Kyle asked quietly, catching her off guard. “You don’t look so good, Anna.” Belatedly he realized that was probably not a sympathetic remark, but he’d spoken only the truth. She hadn’t been herself since the rat from California left her high and dry. If he’d had the time, he would have hunted Daniels down and given him a thrashing. Not having the time to spare was probably fortunate, given the size and build of said rat. “Anna? Anna!”

  “Fine, I’m fine,” Anna muttered, her wistful thoughts scattering like dead leaves in the wind. She hadn’t realized Kyle had been speaking to her. Lately, he and Carrie had been caught up in themselves and their wedding plans, which was just fine with Anna. She hadn’t told them much about Zack’s departure, beyond a simple, “It didn’t work out.” Because her friends were busy with the arrangements for their wedding, they had very little time to dig deeper. Besides, Anna truly didn’t know how something that had felt so perfect could have ended so badly. She’d been so certain that Zack had felt what she felt.

  Unconditional love. It had turned out to be rather like a lush mirage in a scorched desert, a wishful fantasy that had disappeared under close inspection.

  “You’re too quiet,” Carrie said.

  “And you’re overreacting.” Anna gave her friend a pathetic imitation of her normally dazzling smile. “Not to worry, guys, I’m not about to spoil your big day. I’m a ray of sunshine.”

  “Does she look fine to you?” Carrie asked Kyle wryly.

  Kyle took a moment to answer, fearing this might be a trick question. He didn’t want his fiancée to misinterpret his concern for Anna. “Does she look fine to you?”

  “She’s had a sad hound-dog face for more than a week! Of course she doesn’t look fine.”

  Kyle nodded. “That’s exactly what I think. She doesn’t look fine.”

  Carrie pinned her maid of honor down with a no-nonsense expression. “Anna, stop kidding yourself. Stop trying to kid us. You’re not fine. If you’d just talk—”

  “I do talk,” Anna replied. “I talk all the time. Lately I’ve even been talking to myself, quite a bit, actually.”

  Carrie and Kyle exchanged a speaking look.

  “Anna,” Kyle said finally, “we’re your friends. Friends can share anything, especially if there’s a problem. It wasn’t any secret how you felt about Zack. It was in your eyes every time he was in the same room. Unless I miss my guess, he seemed to feel the same.”

  “You missed your guess!” Anna said with brittle enthusiasm. “And now we’re through talking. I appreciate you both more than I can say, but sometimes it’s best just to let things alone. Besides, we’ve got a wedding to get ready for, so let’s concentrate on that. I’m going to change into the other dress, Carrie. It’s more formfitting, so it just might work.”

  With that, Anna and her blue tent went back in the dressing room. Carrie watched her with sad brown eyes, reaching out a hand to touch Kyle’s shoulder. “She won’t tell me a thing, Kyle. She’s never been like this before, so closed up. She’s hurting, and I can’t help her.”

  “I knew he was a jerk the first time I saw him,” the veterinarian said fiercely. “Daniels is a fool. I wished she’d never met him.”

  “I just wish I knew why everything blew up. All Anna will tell me is that he had to return to work in Los Angeles. I would do anything to help her. If I could just talk to him, maybe I could help. It could be that the whole thing is just a big misunderstanding.”

  “I think it’s more serious than that,” Kyle said gently. He hated to see the unhappiness on his beloved’s face. And like any man in love, he wanted to make everything all right for her. “I feel so helpless. I wish there was something I could do.”

  “I wish there was, too,” Carrie said wistfully. “I wish you could make everything all right.” Then, with a shrug and a sad little smile, she trailed Anna back into the dressing room.

  Because he was a normal man who was easily distracted, Kyle momentarily forgot Anna’s sad situation while he appreciated the saucy sway of his fiancée’s hips. Then, when she was out of sight, he turned his mind to the problem at hand.

  I wish you could make everything all right.

  The love of his life had spoken. Veterinarians might be poor shoppers, but given the right inspiration, they were certainly capable of heroics.

  First came the invitation.

  Zack grabbed the creamy white envelope from his mailbox as he dashed out to work. He barely glanced at it, then stuffed it into his pocket. Had Anna come custom-wrapped and delivered in his mailbox, he would have noticed. Anything else was invisible.

  Later, when he and Pappy were in line at the drive-up window of McDonald’s, he remembered the oversize envelope and took it out of his pocket. For the first time he saw the return address. It was postmarked Grayland Beach.

  “What do you want?” Pappy said, interrupting Zack’s sudden trance.

  “Absolution,” Zack muttered.

  “Speak up, boy. What do you want to order? The usual?”

  “What usual?” Zack snapped, throwing an impatient glance at his partner.

  Clearly, Pappy didn’t know what to make of the new Zack Daniels. Being a cop without emotional complications was one thing. Being a cop with emotional complications was another thing altogether. He had returned to Los Angeles in a black mood that appeared to be permanent. Everyone was spooked, even the irascible Captain Todd.

  “Egg McMuffin?” Pappy cajoled. “You love those Egg McMuffins.”

  “I don’t think I love Egg McMuffins anymore,” Zack said. Actually, he didn’t love much of anything these days. His job had lost its luster. He hadn’t glanced at his portfolio once since he came back. He’d even gone so far as to turn off his pager when he wasn’t working.

  The thrill was gone. He had left it back in Grayland Beach, Oregon.

  Logically he knew he had spared Anna the fallout from his demanding, high-risk, possible retirement-by-bullet profession. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel heroic saving this particular damsel from distress. He felt lost.

  Pappy was staring at him with one eyebrow heading for the sky. “The hell you say! As long as I’ve known you, you’ve been a McMuffin addict.”

  “I don’t like McAnything these days. That was another Zack. Then I went to Appleton’s for cold medicine, the fire door wouldn’t open, and I played Candyland. My heart went out for a walk and never came back.”

  There was a baffled silence. “Are you crazy? What are you talking about?”

  “You kind of had to be there,” Zack said.

  Pappy was a soft-spoken, gentle giant of a man with a heart as big as his impressive girth. He could tell his young friend was hurting, which in a way, absolutely stunned Pappy. He’d never known Zack to allow himself to care deeply about anything besides his job. He’d always wondered when the kid would realize he was just as human as anyone else.

  Pappy whistled softly. “I don’t believe it. You met someone.”

  “No. I met the someone. And I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Okay.”

  Zack glared at his partner. “What kind of friend are you? This is the place where you try and talk me into confiding in you. You’re supposed to help me vent.”

  The soft-spoken, gentle giant got a teasing glint in his dark eyes. “I’ve never been able to talk you into anything. Still, I’ll cooperate. Who is she?”

  “Anna,” Zack said softly, staring out the windshield at nothing. The single word held a wealth of feeling.

  Pappy stared at the ivory envelope in Zack’s hand. “Is that from her?”

  “No. I think it’s a wedding invitation from some friends of hers I met.” Zack opened the envelope and skimmed the formal script. “The pleasure of your company…”

  “Are you going?” Pappy asked. “Obviously it’s a chance to
see her again, and you don’t seem too happy to be back here in your old stomping grounds.”

  “I couldn’t bear to tear myself away from work,” Zack said dully. A verse in bold print at the bottom of the invitation caught his eye.

  On this day

  I marry

  my dearest friend.

  “I think I don’t want to talk anymore,” he said quietly. “For real this time.”

  “You love her?” his partner asked. “If you love her, what’s the problem?”

  Zack had a sudden flashback of Pappy’s wife, Paula, in the emergency room when Pappy was shot. The agony, the uncertainty, the stark fear in her face were all things he would never forget. In that moment probably every nightmare she had ever had about the consequences of her husband’s work had come true. He’d seen a paler imitation of that look on his own mother’s face every time his father was late coming home from work. “The problem is what we do, Pappy. The problem is who we are. I chose my course a long time ago. You and Paula—somehow you’ve made it work, but that doesn’t make it any easier on her. Or on your children. How do you do it? How did you decide it was all worth the price your family pays?”

  Pappy sighed heavily, and for once the customary good humor was absent from his face. When he finally spoke, his soft, deep voice was powerful in its simple conviction. “That wasn’t my choice to make. It was hers, and I respected it. Women who love men like us, who give us children and stability and a warm welcome home when we finally trudge in the door at night…they’re the heroes, Zack. They’re the reason we can do what we do.”