by J. S. Cooper
“He’s pretty awesome, isn’t he?” Jake sang along as well and then he turned off and onto a dirt road.
“Really, where are we going?” I asked him, curiosity getting the better of me as I lightly touched his arm.
“I was going to take you to this secret little spot I know.” He smiled. “I thought we could have a picnic.”
“Oh,” I said lightly, knots growing in my stomach. This sounded romantic. More romantic than I was ready for.
“Is that okay?”
“It’s uhm…” I sighed and looked away from him. I didn’t want to disappoint him or make him feel badly.
“Don’t say anything else.” Jake made a face. “I’m sorry. I knew it was too much.”
“No, no, it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine.” He shook his head. “Hold on, I have another idea.”
“Oh?” I gave him a quick look.
“Let’s just go to a normal dinner, have a drink and just chat.”
“That sounds good.” I gave him a grateful smile. “The secret spot sounded amazing, but maybe another time.”
“Sure.” He nodded and then the car fell quiet. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking about, but I was happy for the companionable silence and for no questions. I didn’t want to discuss my emotional status or Henry. I just wanted to relax and have some fun. I just wanted the evening to be about something else. I was done focusing on and spending so much time caught up in my own emotional strife. “I was thinking we could go to this restaurant that has board games at each table.” He gave me a searching look. “I thought that might be fun? What do you think?”
“Sounds perfect to me.” I grinned, glad that we were on the same wave-length. “It sounds absolutely perfect to me.”
***
“I can’t believe you beat me three times in a row.” Jake linked his arm through mine as we walked out of the restaurant and headed to a bar. “Who knew you were a board game queen?”
“Not me.” I laughed. “But maybe that’s my secret skill. I wonder if I can make a lot of money as a board game queen?”
“Maybe somewhere in the world?” He grinned, his eyes shining. “So, you sure you’re down for a drink?”
“Uh, hello, I want to claim all three of my prizes.” I beamed at him, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in ages. “And that means three delicious cocktails.”
“What, no beers?”
“Haha, no beer for me.” I paused for a second as I remembered talking to Henry about beers, but I tried to ignore the memories that the thought of beer and more specifically Guinness invoked.
“Not a beer girl?”
“No, not really.” I smiled up at him. “You can have all the beers.”
“All the beers?” His eyes lit up. “You mean it?”
“Haha, sure. As many as you can drink.”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” he said and then suddenly stopped outside a pub. “Oops, we nearly passed it.”
“500 Club?” I said, looking up at the pink neon sign. “Seems cool.”
“Very very cool.” He grinned. “Or rather not cool at all, but fun.”
“Fun is good enough for me,” I said laughing as I reached into my purse to get my ID to give the guy at the door.
“Yay. That’s what I like to hear.”
“Oh yeah?” I started laughing at the look on his face and accidentally lost my footing. I fell into him and I felt my arms warming as he held onto me for a few extra seconds.
“Jake?” The deep voice behind me made me freeze and I could feel the smile on my face dropping.
“Henry.” The happy look on Jake’s face was also gone and I saw him looking at my face with a worried expression for a few seconds. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“You too.” Henry’s voice was dry and I looked up at his face as he stood next to me. “Lacey,” he said, his eyes meeting mine with a tight smile on his face. I was completely unable to read his emotions and I just nodded my response to him. “You guys about to head into 500 Club?”
“Yes, we were just going to get a drink,” Jake said politely. “You?”
“I was headed home, but I could be persuaded to stay for a drink.” Henry gave a winning smile at Jake and then at me and I turned away as my heart started beating faster. Why did he still have this effect on me?
“Aww okay,” Jake said, his voice waning slightly as he gave me a look.
“Shall we go in?” Henry asked assertively as he made his way into the bar. Jake and I just looked at each other and I could feel defeat building up in me. Why did Henry have to show up at this moment? Just when I was starting to feel better.
“It’s Ed Sheeran.” Jake looked at me excitedly as we made our way into the bar. “Shape of You” was blasting from the speakers and I squealed as he pulled me into his arms and started dancing with me. “I’m sorry, Lacey. I had no idea that he would be here,” he whispered into my ear as we danced around and I gave him a grateful smile.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“What do you two want to drink?” Henry also snarled at us as he stood next to us, his eyes glaring into mine. I could feel a deep heat and pounding in my body as I stared at him.
“I’m not sure yet,” I said and continued to dance.
“You don’t want a Guinness?” Henry teased me and I bit back a smile at the fact that he’d remembered that day as well.
“No,” I said abruptly as a tightness started building up in my chest. Oh God, I felt like I was going to be sick.
“Pity. I was going to challenge you to a pump and dump.” He raised an eyebrow at me.
“A what?” I swallowed hard at his words.
“Pump and dump.” He winked. “A drinking contest.”
“Oh,” I said and looked at Jake’s face. His expression was void and I could feel his heart racing under my fingers.
“Come on you two, let’s go and get a drink,” Henry ordered us and we broke apart and followed him to the bar. “So, how have you been, Lacey?”
“Fine,” I mumbled. “Better than fine. Great,” I lied as if I hadn’t just spent the last few weeks in my bed crying over the fact that I hadn’t heard from him. I could feel the anxiety building up in me and I hated myself and him for making me feel this way.
“That’s great.” He nodded. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Yeah. Same,” I said, not even caring that I wasn’t even really making sense.
“Are you hungry?” he asked leaning close to me, his eyes searching mine more deeply for a few seconds.
“No.” I shook my head quickly and took a step back, feeling panicked.
“We just had dinner,” Jake said and I could see Henry’s nostrils flaring.
“I see.” He pursed his lips and I could see him thinking about something. “Hey, Jake, do me a favor.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He pulled out a hundred-dollar bill and handed it to Jake. “Buy us three drinks. I need to talk to Lacey.”
“Uhm, I don’t know…” Jake paused for a few seconds as he looked at me.
I stared at him, my throat dry and my face hot. I didn’t know what to say.
“Let’s go, Lacey,” Henry said and he grabbed my arm before I could respond.
“Where are we going?” I said finally, my annoyance clear in my voice. I tried to ignore the beating of my heart as I stared up at him and pulled my arm back away from him.
“Just outside to talk.”
“You should have asked me first.” I glared at him. “You can’t just interrupt my date.”
“Your date?” His lips curled up in derision. “You’re on a date with Jake?”
“And?”
“He’s boring.”
“You’re boring.”
“I am?” He laughed. “Really?”
“Yes.” I stopped. “Is that all you wanted to know? Can I go back to Jake now?”
“You’re in a hurry to go back to him?”
“Yes,” I snapped
.
“Well, I’m not done.” It was his turn to glare at me. “We’re going to talk.”
“Talk about what?” I wanted to shout at him and ask him why he hadn’t contacted me in ages. I wanted to ask him if he had missed me. I wanted to ask him if he cared about me. I wanted to ask him if he’d thought about me. I wanted to ask him exactly what I was to him, but I knew that it wasn’t really anything. And I didn’t really need that reinforced in person.
“Patience, dear Lacey.”
“I’m not your dear anything,” I muttered under my breath as I followed him outside. “Okay, so what did you need to say to me so urgently?” I folded my arms as I glared up at him. I hated this feeling.
“You’re mad at me?” He frowns. “Why?”
“Who said I’m mad at you?” My lips trembled slightly. Why did he look so caring?
“I can tell by the expression on your face. You’re not happy to see me?” He reached down and stroked the side of my face.
“What do you want, Henry?”
“I’ve missed seeing your smiling face.” He looked at me thoughtfully for a bit.
“Really?” I tilted my head to the side. “You could have fooled me.”
“Oh?”
“It’s not like you’ve called or texted.” I wanted to groan as the words tripped out of my mouth bitterly.
“Oh. You haven’t called or texted me either.” He ran a finger down to my lips. “I’ve missed kissing your sweet lips.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine. I could feel my breath being taken away as I stared up into his eyes.
“Henry.”
“Lacey.” He smiled as he pulled back slightly and grabbed my hands and held them between his.
“What are you doing?”
“Just standing here, holding your soft hands, thinking to myself that I’m a lucky guy to be here with you right now.”
“Uh huh.” I sighed, not wanting him to say the words that my heart so desperately yearned to hear.
“I had a dream about you the other night,” he said softly. “We were on a beach and you were telling me that you wanted me to hold you all night long.”
“I see,” I said and bit down on my lower lip. Why was he telling me this?
“And so I did.” He smiled at me softly. “I pulled you into my arms and you rested your head on my chest and you slept cuddled up in my arms for the whole night.”
“Okay?”
“It felt nice.”
“It was a dream,” I snapped, wishing it had been real.
“It was a nice dream.” He took a step back. “Are you mad at me?”
“No,” I snapped.
“You’re mad at me.” He sighed. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”
“Oh well,” I said under my breath, my will to stay angry starting to fade away at the look on his face. “Is that what you wanted to tell me?”
“So you’re on a date with Jake?”
“Shit, Henry. What do you want?” I snapped. I couldn’t take this any longer. “What do you care?”
“Go on a date with me tomorrow?”
“Not this again.” I sighed. “You don’t date.”
“Let me take you on a date.” His eyes narrowed. “One date, nothing serious.”
“You just don’t get it.” My voice caught as I looked away. “Henry.”
“Lacey.”
“I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I just want to have fun. I like spending time with you. I like being with you. I like hanging out.”
“Great.” I felt like I’d been stabbed in the heart. “I’m glad you want to have some fun.” Was that a code word for sex? Was he just using me?
“So, tomorrow?”
“I don’t know.”
“Please?” He gave me a hopeful smile. “I thought maybe we’d go somewhere that would be inspiring for your book.”
“Somewhere inspiring for my book? Like where?” My eyes then flew up. “You’re not talking about Thailand again are you?” I made a face. “I don’t think I want to go, after all.”
“No, not Thailand.” He looked uncertain for a second. “It’s a cool bookstore I want to take you to.”
“A bookstore?” I frowned. Had I heard him correctly?
“Yeah.” He looked bashful. “Not very romantic or anything, but I think you’ll really like it. It’s a really unique, cool place.”
“I guess so.” I stared at him in surprise. A bookstore? What were we going to do in a bookstore?
“We can go to breakfast and then to the store.”
“I don’t know.” I sighed. “I don’t really think that that’s a good idea. I don’t know that we should continue in this weird arrangement anymore.”
“Just give me tomorrow.” He touched my arm lightly. “I’m sorry I haven’t been in contact recently. I’ve had a lot going on.”
“Oh.” I was shocked that he’d brought up not having been in contact with me. I wasn’t even sure that he’d realized he hadn’t seen or talked to me. My heart warmed to him slightly as he continued looking at me. It almost felt like he was trying to memorize my face; even though, I knew I was being stupid thinking that.
“You’re one of a kind, Lacey. I’ve missed you.” He sighed then and looked away. I watched as he ran his hands through his hair and I wondered what he was thinking. I stopped myself from hoping that he was thinking he was in love with me. I knew that wasn’t true. Though, I knew I couldn’t stop that hope from existing.
“I don’t know what to say,” I almost whispered. “I don’t really know what’s going on here, Henry. I don’t really know what you want from me.”
“I don’t know either.” His voice sounded harsh. “I don’t know what I want.”
“You can’t just play with my feelings like a yo-yo.” I was starting to get angry. “I don’t want this anymore, Henry. This isn’t fun for me.”
“Please just give me tomorrow. Let’s see how it goes. I just want to spend time with you.” He caressed my face and my heart melted. “Let me take you out. I promise you’ll have a better time with me then you have with Jake.”
“Henry!” I admonished him through my guilt as I realized that I’d completely forgotten about Jake sitting inside the bar waiting on us.
“What?” He grinned and leaned down and gave me a big kiss. “I bet he doesn’t kiss you like I do.”
“Henry.”
“What? Does he?” His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. “Have you kissed him?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Have you slept with him?”
“Henry.”
“Tell me.”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” I shook my head, though inside I was feeling slightly happy that he was acting jealous. What did it mean? Did it mean he cared? I could feel my stomach dropping as the excitement rose in me. I was getting myself worked up again. And for nothing. When was I going to get it through my thick head that he wasn’t interested in me?
“I want to know.” His voice was quiet. “Tell me please, Lacey.”
“What does it matter? You’re not looking for a committed relationship.” Please tell me that you’re looking for a committed relationship. Please tell me you love me. Please tell me that you are, even though that’s not what you wanted, you’re willing to try for me. Please tell me something good. Something that makes me believe.
“No, I’m not looking for a committed relationship,” he agreed. “You have to keep your options open. I was just curious, was all.”
“I see.” The hurt that hit me then was almost blinding. “I have to go inside. Jake must be wondering where we are. This is very rude of us.”
“Okay. So tomorrow?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. I knew I should say no. I knew that I should avoid him at all costs. Things were never going to change.
“I don’t want you to ever think that I would ever do anything to hurt you, Lacey. You’re special in my l
ife. I want to spend time with you. I want to be with you.”
“For more than sex?” I half-joked, though I wished that he would answer me honestly.
“Of course, though I have to admit. I’m so horny right now.” He reached down and grabbed my ass and the touch of his hands against me in that intimate way made my heart race and my body heat up. Oh, how badly I wanted him.
“You’re always horny.” I sighed.
“Only when I’m with you.” He licked his lips and as much as I wanted to believe him, I knew that wasn’t true.
“I have to go back inside now, Henry.”
“Promise me you’ll go on a date with me tomorrow.”
“Henry, I don’t know that that is a good idea.” I knew Eliza wouldn’t be happy with me if I said yes.
“Please, Lacey.”
“Fine, fine,” I said with a sigh. “We can go to breakfast and the bookstore.”
“Great.” He pulled me into his arms and swung me around. “You will have the most amazing time tomorrow. We both will. I promise you.”
“Okay,” I said and gave him a weak smile. That’s what I was afraid of. I didn’t want us to have an amazing time. I didn’t want to fall for him anymore. I wished I had the strength to just move on, but I wasn’t sure what it was going to take at this point.
Chapter Seventeen
I could hear the birds chirping as I made my way to Henry’s car and as I looked up at the bright blue sky, I could feel a brightness in my step that I hadn’t felt in a while.
“Good morning, sunshine.” Henry was waiting by the passenger car door for me.
“Morning,” I said, almost shyly, feeling delighted as he pulled me in for a close hug.
“Sleep well?” he asked as he opened the door for me and I nodded as I got into the car.
“Yes, thanks.”
“Last night was fun,” he said as he closed the door and then walked over to the driver’s side. “I hope Jake wasn’t too upset that I drove you home last night.”
“Yeah, I don’t know,” I said, not wanting to think about the previous night. Henry and I had gone back into the bar and the three of us had all hung out and gotten on quite well, but the dynamic had definitely shifted from earlier in the day. Jake had been a lot more uncomfortable and I had naturally gravitated more toward Henry. There was just a certain chemistry that we had.