Vicious Circles

by JL Paul

I contemplated his words as the first phase of my plan began to form in the back of my mind. I needed to get out of there and get home. I had a lot to do.

  “Yeah, they’re good ones,” I said as I stood and whistled for Otis. “I think I’m headed for a club tonight. The Tail Feather Club. And I really need to get going. I’m sure I’ll see you here again.” I was thinking out loud as more ideas popped inside my head.

  “Have fun tonight. And I hope things get better,” he said.

  ***

  I ignored my cell phone as I stood in front of the mirror. I’d decided on a tight, black skirt and silver halter that left my back bare. I dried my hair and brushed it until it flowed like a dark, velvet curtain over my shoulders.

  I applied enough makeup to make my eyes look dark and mysterious and my lips full. I stepped into stiletto pumps, sprayed my favorite scent on my neck and grinned. Yeah, I’d catch his attention for sure.

  I crammed some cash and my ID into my purse and just as I was reaching for my cell, it rang. I groaned as Collin’s name came up but answered it anyway.

  “What?” I barked.

  “What are you doing tonight?” he asked, desperately working to keep the curiosity out of his voice.

  “Going out. Why? What are you doing?” I asked casually.

  “Nothing. Where are you going?”

  Ah, the Spanish Inquisition. He was digging to see if I was going to work on Owen tonight. Well, I'd been expecting it. “I’m going out with a friend I met at the dog park.”

  “Oh,” was his disappointed reply. “I see. Well, have fun and give me a call.” He hung up before I could respond and it wrenched my heart. I didn’t want him getting the wrong idea but I definitely didn’t want him getting the right idea and then try to stop me.

  My heart deflated and I wondered if I’d just shoved him away. I couldn’t dwell on it, though. I was on a mission and I would not fail.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I swished my hips as I walked into the club like I owned it and slipped onto a stool at the bar. I smiled seductively as Scooter appeared before me. He rested his elbows on the bar and waited for my order, no flicker of recognition in his eyes.

  “Hi Scooter. Bailey, remember?” I said as a smirk made its way on my face.

  “Bailey?” he asked, his brow crunched in concentration. “Bailey who?”

  I rolled my eyes and asked for a beer. He shuffled away slowly to fill my order and when he returned, he cocked his head briefly until his eyes grew wide.

  “Bailey! I remember you!” he grinned as he slid the beer in front of me. “How are you?”

  “Great,” I said as I lifted the bottle to my lips. “Is Owen around anywhere?”

  His jaw clenched as his eyes tightened. “Yeah, why? Bailey tell me you don’t want to mess around with him.”

  “Hey, a girl gets a little lonely sometimes,” I said coyly.

  He grunted. “Then hook up with one of the guys on the dance floor. Or better yet – what about the guy who picked you up last time? He looked like he was really into you.”

  “I don’t want to talk about that,” I said as I turned my head and scanned the club. It didn’t take me long to locate Owen and I was relieved to see Morgan nowhere near him. Hopefully she was home and had no plans to show up later. I wasn’t ready for her to see me with Owen yet.

  “Seriously, Bailey,” Scooter said as he eyed Owen warily. “You seem like a nice girl…”

  “I’m not a nice girl,” I said hastily. “And there’s more to this than you know. Please, Scooter, don’t give me any slack, okay?”

  “What are you up to?” he asked, his eyes leery.

  I was tempted to spill my plan to him – it wouldn’t hurt to have a little help. But I was on my own on this one – the fewer who knew the better. It was bad enough that Collin had an idea.

  “I’m fine, honestly.”

  I finished my beer rather quickly and ordered another even though I needed to keep my head. Scooter handed me a bottle and waved off my money when I pulled it out of my purse. I thanked him with a smile and watched Owen from the corner of my eye. Sure enough, he spotted me and eventually made his way over to me.

  “Well, look who it is,” he said with a nasty sneer on his face. “You tell me I’m not good enough to be with your friend yet you find it acceptable to come to my club.”

  “What can I say?” I smirked. “I have double standards.”

  He chortled and gestured to Scooter to refill his glass. “So, are you slumming again?”

  “Yes, I guess I am,” I said as I swiveled on my stool to face him. I lowered my lids seductively but kept the flirting at that. He knew I couldn’t stand him and if I came on too strongly, he’d figure out what I was up to. “I’m bored.”

  “Really?” he said as he lifted a brow. He accepted a glass from Scooter and sipped it, eyes still on me. “Maybe we can fix that.”

  His eyes traveled slowly up and down my body and I had to fight a fit of nausea. Still, it boded well in my favor to have him appreciate me the way he was. But I couldn’t act out of character. I snorted and raked over his body in abhorrence. “Not likely.”

  He laughed and cupped my cheek. “You are a spitfire, all right. Spencer was a fool to let you go.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Spencer didn’t let me go – we’re still friends.”

  He lifted a lazy brow. “With benefits?”

  “Is that what you and Morgan are?”

  His lips curled suggestively. “Jealous?”

  “Of what?” I asked.

  He laughed again. “Ah, sweet little Morgan isn’t just a roll in the hay – she’s more of a challenge. Sure, she’ll take time but I’m betting the reward will be wonderful.”

  “You’re wasting your time, but hey – it’s your life,” I said nonchalantly. I lifted a shoulder as if I didn’t care but he saw right through me.

  “You don’t like it a bit, do you?” he said as he leered in my face. He was very handsome but the looks were wasted on him. He was a snake – worse – he was a flea infested rat and I had to clench my teeth to keep from shuddering in disgust.

  “Frankly, I just don’t give a damn anymore. Morgan’s a big girl and perfectly capable of controlling her own life. If she wants to throw it away on you then more power to her.” I drained my beer and slid the bottle toward Scooter. He caught it deftly and winked at me as he tossed the bottle in the bin and fetched a fresh one from the cooler. “But to be fair,” I continued in an aloof tone. “I think you can do better. I have feeling you have a voracious sexual appetite and I don’t think she can satisfy it.”

  He chuckled and clinked his glass to my bottle. “So true, so true.” He finished his drink and slammed his glass on the bar. “I think that’s where you and I are very much alike. And I also think you and I would burn the sheets and start a fire.”

  I lifted a brow and looked pointedly at the crotch of his jeans. “I’m not quite sure you have much to work with.”

  He laughed heartily and pounded on the bar. “Oh, yes, you are something else, Bailey. Very, very interesting indeed.”

  “What can I say?” I asked as I lifted the bottle to my lips. “But you do present a challenge.”

  His mouth opened in astonishment. “I do?”

  I nodded, a smirk making its way across my face. “Yep.”

  “How so?” he asked, perplexed.

  I set my beer carefully on the bar and took his hand. “Let’s dance and maybe I’ll tell you.”

  I led him toward the dance floor, making sure to swing my hips just enough to capture his attention. I muscled my way through the crowd then turned and pressed my body close to his. Satisfaction washed over his handsome features as his hands gripped my hips. I tossed my arms loosely over his shoulders and began to grind.

  He wasn’t a bad dancer and kept up easily with me – I was a novice at best. We got through a few songs before he tugged me back to the bar and ordered Scooter to freshen our drinks.

  �
�You intrigue me, Bailey,” he said as he wiped the sweat off his brow with a napkin. “Very much.”

  “Hm, too bad,” I said as I took a long drink. The beer went down a little too easily – refreshing my throat.

  “Why is it too bad?” he asked.

  “Because, I don’t mess around with other people’s men,” I said. “Contrary to what people think.”

  “So much for those double standards,” he quipped.

  “I guess,” I said.

  “I thought you didn’t much care who you slept with,” he said. “As long as it was good.”

  My heart plunged into a bucket of ice water but I managed to keep control of the mask on my face.

  “Think what you will.” I finished my beer and stood. I grabbed Owen’s lapel and yanked his face to mine. I pressed a deep, lingering kiss on his lips then grinned. “Thanks for tonight. Maybe I’ll see you again. Soon.”

  “Maybe,” he said with a lazy drawl. He’d recovered from the kiss and wrapped an arm around my waist to escort me to the door.

  I paused, my hand on the glass, and turned to him, brandishing my sexiest smile. “Why don’t you give me a call sometime?” I suggested in a throaty voice. I pecked his cheek and pushed open the door.

  “I will,” he called as my heels crunched the gravel. I smiled my satisfaction as I got into my car and started the engine.

  It wasn’t until I reached the highway that repulsion hit me. I fought for control over my rolling stomach as I maneuvered my car through traffic. The few beers I’d had didn’t help any at all. Self-disgust smacked me in the face and shame jabbed at my heart.

  I knew the truth – knew who and what I really was – so why did it bother me what a piece of filth like Owen thought? Besides, that’s the reputation I’d worked hard to maintain. It kept people from thinking I cared about things.

  A couple tears leaked from my eyes and pissed me off. I swiped at them and groaned, clearing my throat of the self-pitying misery that threatened to explode.

  I yanked on the steering wheel to change lanes and cut off another car in the process. The driver honked angrily at me but I ignored him as I exited the highway and found myself wandering the dark streets near Collin’s place.

  Once I had my emotions under control, I parked in front of his house and ambled slowly to his front door. I knocked once and frowned when he didn’t answer. His SUV was in the drive but that didn’t mean he was home. He could have gone somewhere with Tori or someone.

  My heart plunged again until the door opened and Collin stood in the threshold. “Bailey?”

  “Hey,” I said as I attempted a smile. “Can I come in or are you busy?”

  He stepped back and allowed me to enter. I sank to the sofa and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Thanks.”

  He sat gingerly next to me and laced his fingers together. “You look pretty hot,” he said with a smirk. “What’s up?”

  “I’m not a whore, Collin,” I whispered.

  He placed a causal hand on my shoulder. “I know that - we've had this conversation, remember? What’s the matter?”

  I leaned into him and he held me to his chest, his hands rubbing my back. I took several long, deep breaths to keep from crying. When I was once again under control, I drew back to smile. “I got my reputation in high school but I assure you that I didn’t earn it.”

  He cupped my cheek, his thumb stroking my skin. “I don’t think you’re a whore, Bailey. I never have. I swear.”

  “I dated this guy my junior year – his name was Ben. He was a sweet kid and I really liked him. I didn’t love him and I don’t think he loved me – we weren’t at that point in our relationship.” I reached for Collin's hand and he twined our fingers together. “Well, this guy, Clay Redburn, transferred to our school. He was pretty hot and all the girls were lusting after him. I wasn’t – not really – but I did think he was cute. Anyway, Veronica and I were friends then and she was crazy for Clay. I was happy with Ben and thought it would be cool if she had the same sort of thing with Clay. I talked her into just confronting him – told her to ask him out.”

  I paused and leaned back into the couch. Collin kept hold of my hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. “What happened?”

  “Well, she found him near a classroom one morning and approached him. I was standing a little way off with a group of our friends so we could see what happened. When she asked him out, he laughed at her and said she wasn’t his type. He said he preferred girls like…like me.”

  Collin’s eyes widened and I gave him a grim smile. “So, she got pissed?”

  “Yep. She was humiliated and wouldn’t speak to me or anyone else for the rest of the day. The next week, she told me we no longer had anything in common and she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. I was hurt but I figured she’d get over it. I was still seeing Ben and I definitely didn’t want anything to do with Clay. But Veronica wouldn’t believe it.”

  “What did she do?” Collin asked.

  “She started spreading rumors about me – telling people that I slept around a lot and that the only reason why Clay liked me was that I had sex with him in the boys’ locker room.” I snorted. “Collin, I was a virgin then. I hadn’t had sex with Ben, my boyfriend, let alone anyone else. But people always want to believe the worst and they started looking at me differently. It didn’t help that Clay – whose popularity increased with the rumors – started going along with them. Pretty soon, Ben became fed up with all the talk and didn’t believe me when I tried to defend myself.”

  “Damn,” Collin murmured. “Bailey, I’m …”

  “Save it,” I said, holding up my free hand. “It happened and that’s that.”

  “What did you do?” he asked breathlessly.

  I shrugged. “School ended and I tried to avoid everyone that summer but when school started again, so did the rumors. But instead of defending myself, I just let them all say what they wanted. I acted like I didn’t care and even encouraged some of the rumors. People steered clear of me – most of them were intimidated. It worked for me.”

  “Geez,” Collin said as he pulled me back in his arms. “That really sucks. You didn’t deserve that.”

  “Collin,” I muttered in his chest. “Do you want to know the truth? The absolute truth of how many men I’ve been with?”

  He tensed but didn’t release me. He kissed the top of his head. “Only if you want to tell me.”

  “Well, you were number four,” I said as I edged back and rubbed my tired eyes. “I dated two different guys my senior year and I really liked them. They were the only ones I’d slept with back then. Spencer was the third.”

  I smiled feebly at him. He cupped my cheeks with both hands and bent to kiss me softly. My eyes fluttered shut as I lifted arms and wrapped them around his neck. He deepened the kiss and a low moan escaped my lips. My pulse throbbed in my veins as I scooted closer. He dropped his hands from my face and collected me in his arms.

  I dragged my lips near his ear. “I want you, Collin.”

  He stood and took my hands. “Are you sure?”

  I snorted and drew a smile on his face. “Yes.”

  He led me to his bedroom and closed the door. His confidence seemed to ebb as we faced each other. I took the initiative and heaved his shirt over his head. That buoyed him to remove my top and help me out of my skirt.

  He lowered me to the bed and kicked off his jeans. His lips met mine and a thrill swept through my body.

  His kisses remained sweet and nearly stole my breath. He kissed his way to my jaw and throat, drawing goose bumps on my skin. I gasped and clutched his shoulders, arching my back. He continued to kiss my entire face until our lips once again met. My entire body was nothing but molten lava yet he seemed perfectly content to kiss me and seemed in no hurry to move things along.

  My desire only increased at his tenderness as my heart beat happily in my chest. I twined my fingers in his hair, delighting in his soft tresses.

  He finally removed m
y undergarments but carried on with his slow, thorough explorations. I squirmed in anticipation, anxious for him.

  He eased back to look into my face and my heart stopped briefly as my lungs heaved. The look in his eyes wasn’t one I could identify but it restarted my heart and made it pump a little quicker. I reached up and pushed the bangs off his forehead. He kissed me again and at last, he entered me with such tenderness I had a sudden urge to cry.

  I expected fervent passion but wasn’t disappointed with his easy, unhurried motions. It was as if he wanted me to see some other side of him and I loved it. I loved everything about him and his gentle lovemaking only endeared him to me more.

  He did pick up the pace as we both neared our climax and when we were both gasping for breath, he dropped beside me and gathered me in his arms.

  I toyed with the sprinkling of hair on his chest as I recovered, my heart overflowing with so many emotions. I wanted to confess so many things to him – especially how much I loved him – but I didn’t want to ruin the moment.

  He kissed the top of my head. “Will you stay here tonight?”

  “Yes,” I said, still quite breathless.

  “What about Otis?” he asked.

  “I left him with my neighbor earlier,” I explained. “I wasn’t sure what I was going to do tonight.”

  He squeezed my shoulder and kissed my forehead. I pressed my ear to his chest, reveling in how his heartbeat seemed as erratic as mine. It gave me quite the thrill to know that I had that affect on him.

  “You went to see Owen tonight, didn’t you?” he asked in a quiet voice.

  “Yeah,” I admitted. “He’s such a puke.”

  “I know,” Collin said. “Did he try anything with you?”

  “No,” I snorted. “But I gave him something to think about besides Morgan.”

  He sighed heavily and his breath tousled my hair. I knew he was going to object and try to persuade me from going ahead with my plan. I didn’t want that – especially not after the extraordinary way he’d made love to me. I didn’t want anything to mess up the night.

  “Collin, please,” I begged. “I don’t want to talk about it tonight. I just want to lay here with you.”