Chapter 20
Exactly as the bard sang
"Exactly as the Bard sang!" said Taff.
"He came,
He saw,
He conquered,
And then he popped away !"
However, while Jake and his party had popped away from one place they were still traveling through a wormhole and a very peculiar eternity.
The cab rattled and sJugg, vibrating with strange lights and sounds.
Suddenly, Jake's pack burst open and Princess Cleopatra rolled out feet first onto the cab floor. This event was followed by a juddering screech and the light and sound show stopped. They had arrived at Central Power, directly outside the royal palace.
Jake followed the Princess out.
She did not speak but immediately made for a door leading into her private apartment. A squad of robot troopers rushed out from the Guardhouse and arrested robot FIDO. He was body cuffed, hand cuffed, foot cuffed and then carried into the Guardhouse
Alaric seemed bemused.
Eventually, he got his bearings and strode off towards his home near the palace.
The driver climbed out of his cab and now stood with an entirely false smile on his face. "Well, good sire!" he said. "I trust you enjoyed your trip and will reward your heroic driver! A driver who piloted you safely and speedily through that dreadful maze, that fearful jungle, that eerie strangeness that lies between Universes!"
"I have no money!" said Jake.
"You rotten tightfisted punk!" cried the driver.
He looked at the cab meter which had now stopped. "You owe me 3.5 trillIon!"
"But the fare was already paid!" cried Jake indignantly.
"The basic fare was already paid, yes! But you kept waffling on! The meter was running white hot! Three and a half trillion! And we will collect! We have our methods, punk!"
The taxi driver smirked before climbing back into his cab.
The cab vanished with a bright flash and an ear splitting roar.
Regent Ted and P.A Roger 001 came hurrying from the Palace.
"Robot FIDO is to be dismantled," said Regent Ted dramatically. "He is not a conventional robot! He is some kind of golden colour when he should be silver! He is believed to be a rebel with some kind of faulty software! And Colonel Viljoen has offered a reward of $10 billion dollars for information leading to your capture!"
He paused : “Have you got the data cards?”
Wearily, Jake handed over the two cards..
He was then allowed a night of blessed rest and another excellent breakfast before being summoned to the Reintegration Machine.
Regent Ted was waiting at the machine.
"Apparently there was some problem with the transfer computer," he said, "But the Princess returned from a holiday last night and she has fixed the machine. It is now working correctly. “
Before Jake could reply, the master computer suddenly spoke. It was the same the same cultured voice which Jake had last heard in Kardiff , an event which now seemed to have happened a few centuries ago.
"FIDO is part of Prince Jake," said the machine. "He must be brought here before reprocessing can begin. The full inventory includes human Jake, Regent Ted, FIDO, and the special Stuff It cards."
A period of urgent messages followed.
Eventually, FIDO was wheeled in by a platoon of robo troops.
The golden robot was secured with pinions on his arms and legs. His waist was fastened to a portable ultra laser which was set on auto in case of any attempt to escape. Since he was unable to move he was brought in on an anti grav trolley.
Alaric then came rushing into the room. He still seemed bemused.
"Prince Jake!" he cried. "Good luck on the transfer! The Princess has been found! Apparently she has been away on holiday, meditating!"
The Reintegration Process then began First, the machine asked for the Stuff It cards. The cards were fed into the machine and inspected. The master computer commented on the process. "These cards provide a record of the Princes genetic sequence -- and two cards have been very roughly treated! It appears they have been inspected by X Ray, and even immersed in acid! Fortunately the actual data sequence remains intact otherwise reintegration would be impossible! Next item should now enter!"
Jake walked in and stopped inside a blue chamber about half way down a long tube. Regent Ted followed. There was a puff of red smoke and a robot butler walked out of the tube. The persona of "Regent Ted" had vanished. A globe in the centre of the machine began to glow.
The glowing light became intense.
Finally, FIDO walked into the machine.
The globe began to pulsate rapidly,
A bolt of lightening suddenly flashed downwards FIDO's head. The robot jerked. An Elvish aura began to shine brightly around his body. Quite suddenly the metallic body vanished and the actual Elf Prince Jake appeared! Looking bemused he walked out from the machine. He was followed by Jake, who now had human ears!
Alaric stood transfixed at this unexpected event.
"Gesontimo Alaric!" said Prince Jake. "That was damned strange! I thought I was a robot and now I find that I am actually an elf! "
"And I thought he was you!" said Alaric, pointing at Jake.
“And I knew I was not the Prince,” said Jake. “I thought Windsor seemed strange..My actual second name is Boyle.”
"Correct, Jake Boyle! I am, of course, Prince Jake Windsor I arranged for you to visit Cerne on a school trip. You were transported to Central Power via the Large Hadron Collider which intersects with the Multiverse Railway. You were hired to be my human lookalike on my special train spotting trip!" said the Prince. "Cleopatra was worried that I might cop the lot and beat her! You were there as my cover! Your task was to divert any cops or military so I could get back to a Gateway. You would be safe as you are human. And you would be rewarded when your large internet blogging debt was paid. A simple, fool proof plan!”
Alaric: “Sire, what happened to the simple, fool proof plan?”
Prince Jake: “I planned to leave quietly.But Cleopatra found out! She was incredibly angry when she discovered we were about to leave for Earth! She was livid! Raving mad! She turned blue with rage and then insisted on coming! The fact that we only had two first class Multiverse Express tickets made no difference. She forced her way in! The translation machine could not handle the load and conked out! The result was a full scale translation error! And after all that we only got one namer!”"
He walked over and put his arm around Jake's shoulder.
Jake X (1) Multiverse Fugitive Page 18