Chapter 21
Compulsion!
"But, you Jake, you have been a fantastic lookalike!" he said. "It’s a shame that you were unable to spell! That was caused by the faulty translation. The machine was still trying to please the Chief Programmer. It gave CLEO every possible chance to put you in what she thinks is your proper place, To be blunt, in her mind your proper place is under her heel! The translation machine tried to carry out the translation program which was mainly centered on Cleopatra being in control of everything! This is what she said when we were about to leave. “I must be in total control and I must be invulnerable!”
The only way the machine could carry that out was to provide a prison and make her the computer warder! She was in total control and invulnerable. I thought I was robot FIDO and I had to obey CLEO! That was probably a reflection of what the Princess normally wants! She wants me and everybody else to obey her! She hates the idea that I will actually be in charge of Central Power some day. And after that disaster of an interdimensional train spotting trip, unfortunately, I will remain the royal elf who failed to cop the lot! "
"And I am the human who failed to cop the lot!” said Jake. “
He thought for a moment and then cheered up.
"However, I suggest a new plan! I have a massive reward from the Gemini’s. I intend to buy a single seat transporter and a time machine and go back to earth in 1962 to cop the lot! Then I might do all regions back to Rocket, then the rest of the railways across the whole planet! I will cop a vast treasure which can never be duplicated. The boy who copped the whole lot for all time!”
"That is not very likely!" said the voice of Princess Cleopatra. She walked regally into the room and continued: "I would remind you, Jake, that you are wanted as a fugitive on earth! There is a huge reward on you! The fact that you now have peculiar shrunken ears will not save you! The UFO military people will believe you have had cosmetic surgery! Many crooks like you have such alterations for the purpose of disguise!”
“Oh,” said Jake. “Now I have become a genuine wanted criminal! A schoolboy who is a wanted criminal as a result of you forcing yourself into our party!”
The Princess did not appear to hear him.
She said: “You have, of course wasted the enormous reward paid by Pernod for the return of their dragon. My own personal rule is waste not, want not!"
"What do you mean, waste?" said Jake. “The reward was gigantic! I must have plenty of money. Enough to get the equipment and do the job, cop the lot!”
Princess Cleopatra continued coolly: "That is incorrect. First, the funds were actually sent to Prince Jake! You are not Prince Jake and therefore even if any funds remained they would not be your property! In any case, there are no funds left! You kept a Multiverse Yellow Cab waiting while the meter was running! Incredible! What astonishing stupidity! Treasury have already paid that bill, taking much of the remaining reward from Pernod! Finally, you…” she pointed at Jake again: “You had an unpaid Internet account for $60,000! That’s the primary reason why you agreed to help my idiot brother! You only caught the train spotting bug yourself once you were in jail. As for my stupid brother, he agreed to pay off your bill in exchange for you acting as his bodyguard! All this on a train spotting trip to your home universe! Your huge Internet account bill was incurred because you were constantly playing an infantile internet computer game in which you took the part of the Wizard of the Solar System, Jake Windsor! How perfect! You chose the name of the actual Elvish Prince in order to squander money playing a stupid game! And my moron brother offered to settle your bill in exchange for some kind of useless service in which you would act as his look alike bodyguard! That bill has also been paid. Balance now zero!”“
She turned to the Prince. "Both of you two bumkins are now well and truly stuffed! The train spotting record is still there for the taking! One day, someone, somehow, someone will cop the lot But it definitely will not beyou or this bum!"
“This has all occurred because of your incredibly violent temper!” said the Prince calmly. “You forced yourself into the traveling party! In an attempt to protect you from danger I had only booked tickets for Jake and myself! I intended to make sure that Universe Zero was safe before exposing you to the trip.”
Princess Cleopatra. “Exposing me! How ridiculous! How would any one on earth have recognized me? I would have simply posed as a normal train spotter.”
“Well, posing as a normal human train spotter would not have been all that simple,” said Jake, “You do have rather noticeable ears. They are not at all common on Earth! “
Princess Cleopatra. “Rubbish! I would have worn a scarf fastened with a diamond tiara! Possibly set with emaralds or rubies!”
Prince Jake broke in: “You caused all these problems through your own violent temper! In any case, the whole mess was engineered your half witted friend the translation computer. It could not handle the computing parameters that you demanded. It went bonky and mixed us all up, with you in the controlling role of “computer warder.” What a shame! Bossy, temperamental and now the Earth Chess Champion! Typical! On top of everything else and your litany of errors you were absolutely raving angry at poor Jake! Simply because I had dubbed him a Knight! You believe all such appointments must be approved by yourself, Miss Superstar!”
There was a tight silence.
Princess Cleopatra: “Miss Supestar? Miss Superstar? Is that how you think of ME? I am always kind and thoughtful! I do not carry an ounce of pretension! I even put up with this disgraceful human being who you have made a Knight without real authority. You had no approval, nothing from father or mother and most importantly nothing from me! He is not a proper Knight! And how dare you address me as Miss Superstar! What a disgraceful thing to say about your own wonderful,caring,brilliant sister! “
She burst into tears and stalked out, leaving an uneasy silence.
Jake X (1) Multiverse Fugitive Page 19