Ghost of Christmas Past

by King, Rebecca

  She didn’t know whether to be angry or cry. She knew that John didn’t understand by the calm certainty on his face as he looked at her and didn’t quite know what to say next.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “You don’t understand how close you came to ruining my life completely,” she whispered. She lost the battle to stem the tears but ignored them while she said what she needed to say. She was aware of movement beside the bedroom door but didn’t turn around to look at him. Somehow she knew it was Rupert. He didn’t speak, but then neither did John.

  “The carriage accident was the best thing that happened to me,” she whispered sadly. Her chin quivered and her tears overflowed but she stared resolutely at the wall while the pain washed over her.

  “How can you say that, Thea? How? You could have been married with children by now.”

  “But at what cost? You would have secured the Weatherby estate and saved the family name from complete ruin by that grasping duo. Rochester would have forced his son to face up to his family duties but what about me?” She thumped her chest and stared hard at him. “I had parents who hated me. Parents who were prepared to sell me so they could continue to live their spendthrift lifestyle. I was endured, and they let me know it. I wasn’t a person and never was. I was a commodity to be brokered. You all had something to gain, but what about me? Even Rupert had something to gain from marriage. He would have his father off his back and be seen to be fulfilling his family duty; he would still have had his mistress in London and although marriage to her would have been out of the question, the marriage to me would have impacted little on his life.” She stood and moved toward the window. Bitterness was such a negative emotion but it swept through her now with such relentless speed that fury began to bubble through her.

  “If my problems weren’t already bad enough, I was to live in a house with the people responsible for my misery living at the bottom of the garden!” She sucked in a breath and knew she was shouting but couldn’t stem the tide of anger. “You made arrangements for them to stay on the Weatherby estate. He -,” she pointed one trembling finger at Rupert, who watched and remained silent, “- he would have headed straight back to London to bed his mistress as soon as the ink was dry on the wedding certificate and I would have been left in exactly the same situation as I was before the wedding, only humiliated by the gossips for being sold into marriage. Everyone in polite society was talking about us.”

  “Thea, I am sorry,” John whispered. He realised that he should have waited until he was a little stronger. He wanted to get out of bed and at least comfort her but he wasn’t strong enough. He threw a pleading glance at Rupert who was studying the floor beneath his feet, apparently lost in thought.

  “Neither Rupert nor myself would have allowed Frances or Isaiah to harm you in any way Thea. They would not have been in any position to threaten you. You would have been your husband’s responsibility not theirs.”

  “How can you say that? On the morning of the wedding, Frances threatened to destroy the marriage and I hadn’t even left the house!”

  “How so? What did she do?” It was the first time Rupert spoke and she glanced first at him and then at John while she steadied herself. The anger seemed to come from a well deep within and now that the lid had been knocked off she was completely incapable of controlling the relentless tide of fierce fury.

  The memory of that morning came flooding back with horrifying clarity and she stared defiantly at them while she recounted that fateful morning.

  ********

  “What are you waiting for?” Francis boomed from the doorway. Her mother was donned in a pink cloud of silk and lace that were the epitome of fashion, but made her look like an oversized ostrich. “You insolent young pup. The carriage, and your father, and the whole congregation are waiting for you. You are going to go through with this wedding, whether you like it or not, so move yourself. You cannot expect to scrounge off you father’s good nature forever.” Her voice rose and rose until the shutters shook, but Thea didn’t even bother to look at her. She continued to study herself in the mirror and wonder what Frances would say if she knew what her daughter had been up to last night.

  In that moment, Thea felt a wave of anger so deep, so intense, that she physically shook with the need to lash out in some way. She wasn’t a violent person; never had been and never would be, but the weeks of relentless harassment, in addition to the knowledge that Rupert’s heart would always belong to his mistress, Barbara, suddenly made her want to rail at the unfairness of it all.

  “I have said I will go through with it,” Thea snapped as she cast her mother a derisive look that made Frances stare back in shock. It was the first time that Thea had ever shown any backbone, and it was enough to stem the tide of scorn that Frances had intended to pour upon her daughter. “That’s fine. To save your ridiculous estates, and your grasping socializing, I will sacrifice my life.” She ignored her mother’s outraged gasp. “However, I shall bloody well do so in my own good time; with or without your approval.” She emphasised her statement with a dour look and turned her back on her mother in a quite deliberate snub that made the older woman swear, however Thea didn’t bother to wait for Frances to speak, and merely swept out of the room with her chin held high.

  “Thea! Come back here this instant. I demand an apology. How dare you speak to me like that?”

  Thea was half way down the hallway when her elbow was grabbed in her mother’s cruel fingers that squeezed too tight, but Thea, heartbroken and bruised, was not about to be bullied any more. She yanked arm away from her mother and looked her up and down with a look of hatred on her face. “I will speak to you any way I choose. I am no longer the child you can bully and push around. I have no interest in your opinion of my character or worth. I am only grateful that I am nothing like you.”

  Whatever else she was about to say was stopped by the sharp slap that stung her cheek. Rather than let the tears fall, she blinked them away with a proud smile of defiance. The spiteful look on her mother’s face reminded her of the numerous occasions when Frances had taunted her that she would never be pretty or appealing to anyone. That memory, and the knowledge that she had a church full of people waiting to watch her get married, were enough to give her the courage to turn wintry eyes on Frances.

  “Careful mother, you don’t want to have to explain to the groom why you have seen fit to bruise his bride before the wedding. After all, what would the congregation think if I appeared with your finger marks on my cheek?”

  She knew she had hit home when her mother’s mouth closed with a snap. She was about to turn away only to pause and glare back at the woman who had been so unnecessarily cruel throughout Thea’s four and twenty years of life. “That is the last time you will ever lay a finger on me. Do it again and I shall ensure that everyone knows how cold, grasping and cruel you really are. See if your face fits in the society you aspire to then. After all, I will have a husband on my side to ensure that you and yours are kept well away from anyone who is civilised and proper.”

  “Don’t you dare speak to me that way,” her mother snarled.

  All of the disgust and hatred Frances held for her daughter was there in her eyes. A small part Thea broke away and, whether it was because of the tenderness Rupert had shown her last night or not she couldn’t be sure but, for the first time ever she felt strong. Not helpless and vulnerable, but confident and determined. A gulf of difference a mile wide opened up between her and the source of her lifelong torment as they stood in the upper hallway of Bainbridge Hall, the Samuels family residence, and glared hatefully at each other. To Thea it felt as though she was finally leaving her old life behind and it had nothing to do with the forthcoming wedding.

  “I will speak to you in any way I choose,” she declared coldly and turned away with a sniff. Although Thea hadn’t heard her, Frances had followed her down the corridor and now stood directly behind her.

  “I wouldn’t get so cocky if I were you. Once I tell your hus
band about your selfishness, he will endeavour to put you in your place. After all, we know you far better than he does. He needs a few words of advice from your father on how to handle you. If your father doesn’t tell him how spoilt and wayward you are, then I will.”

  Thea knew her mother would take great delight in filling Rupert’s head with all sorts of nonsense and she wondered how she could ever be related to such a callous and conniving individual.

  “Oh, I think that you will be barking up the wrong tree there. Rupert won’t believe your lies for one second because he can see you exactly for what you are. I am sure that what I have to tell my husband about your own grasping ways is more than adequately confirmed by the sorry state of your finances. After all, you have bled the Weatherby family dry for years and given nothing back.” Thea glanced down at the grasping fingers of Frances’ right hand and knew that her mother was just itching to strike her again and would have, if Thea’s earlier words of caution didn’t still ring in her ears. “Of course, I shall ensure that my husband sees that your spending is kept within your limits,” Thea drawled, and watched a deep, crimson blush steel over her mother’s face. “After all, he holds the purse strings now, doesn’t he?”

  “You callous bitch. How I could ever have given you life, heaven only knows,” Frances spat. For once, the false aristocratic tones had a hint of Somerset accent to them that Francis had spent years trying to get rid of.

  “I don’t know either. I hate to think that I could be related to someone like you. I can only be glad of my marriage to darling Rupert. I can finally have the future I have been waiting for.”

  “You will have no future by the time I have done with you. See how your husband feels about you when I have told him a few home truths about you.”

  “My husband will close his ears to your malice, of that I have no doubt.”

  “Why on earth we are allowing you to marry into such a splendid family as the Samuels I have no idea.”

  “Money, of course,” Thea snapped. “Why else do you ever do anything?”

  “Your husband will listen to me.”

  “Oh I am afraid not, mother dear,” Thea sighed. She knew that they would stand in the upper hallway arguing for the next hour because neither of them was going to back down.

  She knew that if she didn’t stop her mother from spilling her malice into Rupert’s ears, her marriage would be doomed to failure even more than it already was. Luckily, Frances didn’t appear to have gotten wind of Rupert’s heart belonging to another or Thea would have been tormented with that little nugget of scorn too. “Last night, I had more than a few things to tell him about you and, after what happened between us, I am sure that my husband will support my wish never to see you again, especially if he wants to sleep in my bed again. After all, that is what lovers are for, to support each other. He does have the Samuels family name to take into consideration after all and, well, as his wife he will have to listen to me. He can hardly fill the nurseries by himself now can he?”

  She ignored her mother’s horrified gasp and turned on her heel. Silence settled in her wake as she made her way to the top of the stairs.

  ********

  John lifted his brows and turned to look at Rupert who appeared completely unrepentant.

  “I make no apology for what happened but, in my defence, I had imbibed far too much the night before the wedding.”

  “It isn’t important right now. I did what I did because I wanted a small measure of control in a world that had spiralled into confusion and fear. For the first time in my life I was completely selfish and don’t regret that I did for one moment.” She turned defiant eyes on her uncle that dared him to object to her wanton behaviour. However he remained silent and had such a look of sadness in his eyes that she felt the sharp sting of tears once more.

  “Even in the carriage on the way to the church I didn’t know if I was going to go through with it. I wanted to but then I didn’t. Do you know what though? I think that I would have preferred to be destitute than marry someone who didn’t want me just so that I could provide Frances and Isaiah with the life of luxury that their grasping ways demanded.”

  She couldn’t find the words to say anything else and swiped a hand down her cheeks as she stalked across the room toward the door. She got no further than the place where Rupert was standing. The hand that grabbed her was not cruel but held her firm enough to assure her that she wasn’t going anywhere until she had heard him out.

  “I can assure you here and now Thea that I did not want Barbara. I told you last night that I had finished with her the night of the Abernathy’s ball. As soon as I saw you I knew that it was you that I wanted. That is the truth. Once we were married I would have had no reason to come to London other than for social engagements, to which you would have come too. Ours was to have been a love match.”

  The harshness in his voice made her turn to stare at him with wide eyes. It was the first time he had ever made any reference to holding any affection for her. In the short time she had gotten to know him before the wedding he had never once declared any feelings for her. Now she wasn’t sure what to think.

  Emotion charged the atmosphere and held them all silent while they tried to come to terms with their own personal mistakes and misunderstandings.

  “We all got it wrong,” John whispered. “I genuinely thought that I was doing what was best but the only way we could get Isaiah to agree to the contract was to allow him to remain at the Dower house as part of the bargain. He simply refused to leave the estate.”

  “I have to confess here and now Thea, that I seriously did not like either of your parents, especially your mother. Her domineering mannerisms really antagonise me and the first thing I would have done, even back then, was ensure that the woman knew her place in our lives was very firmly at the bottom of the garden.”

  Her anger began to wane a little and left her feeling more than a little washed out. Ignoring John, who sat in the bed watching them, Rupert turned her toward him and gently wiped her tears away before tipping her face up. When she continued to look at his chest he bent down until he captured her gaze with his.

  “I had no idea, darling, I really didn’t, but I want you to know here and now that even back then, as selfish as I was, I took marriage vows seriously. They are not something that should be entered into lightly. As soon as I got to know you I realised that marriage was something I wanted. At no point did my father force me into anything I didn’t want.” She couldn’t speak and made no attempt to object when he drew her into his arms. They stood in silence for several moments while the wounds of the past slowly began to heal. “I would also never have allowed your mother to pour scorn into my ears. She is a horrid woman and nobody of any significance in our lives would have paid her spiteful comments any attention at all. Instead, I rather think that she would just have proven to everyone just how awful she really was – is.” He frowned at that and glanced at John.

  “Whatever did happen to Frances?” Thea asked several minutes later when Rupert had settled them both onto one of the window seats. She was a little surprised that he still held her hand and didn’t seem inclined to relinquish it but even that simple gesture helped her to steady her emotions.

  In all reality she didn’t want to know what had happened to Frances, and didn’t really care where she was or what she was doing, but had to put the matter to rest so she could move on and forget about the woman forever.

  “I assured her that she was a Weatherby in name only and had no right to assume that the house and estate would provide for her. She was most displeased about it, I can tell you, but I eventually forced her to move out of Weatherby. I have a duty to ensure she is provided for but there is nothing to say that she has to receive a generous settlement. I have ensured that she has what she needs: it may not be what she wants, but that is her problem.” His lips twisted and he gave Thea a wry look. “Although I don’t mind you living in the hunting lodge in Leicestershire, Weatherby is your bi
rth right and you should feel at liberty to live there whenever you choose to. When Isaiah died everything was handed to me.”

  “Including the debts.”

  “Including the debts,” he confirmed with a nod. “I didn’t mind really because it gave me the leverage to use against her to get her to move out.”

  Rupert wanted to applaud the man’s intuitiveness and determination to force the woman out. He was also relieved that Thea had such a stalwart guardian as John who, regardless of the outcome at the time, had endeavoured to do his very best for her.

  John glanced ruefully from Thea to Rupert and back again. “There are few people in society who bother with her now to be honest with you. I understand that those who do still correspond with her have been told that she is grief stricken and has retired to the coast for ‘sea air’ to recuperate.”

  Thea shook her head with a mixture of disgust and relief. “The problem is, uncle, however much I wish to live there, you and I both know that if I go to Weatherby she will appear for a ‘visit’ and will refuse to leave again.”

  “I will cut her off completely if she goes against me.” In contrast to his dark warning, John smiled gently at Thea in a mute appeal for forgiveness. He needed reassurance that she wasn’t angry with him and didn’t blame him for the horrible mess he had made of the past, and was relieved when she smiled back at him without hesitation.

  “Weatherby House is yours, Thea. It has been repaired and is ready to be lived in should you change your mind.” He held a hand up when she took a breath to speak. “I know what you are saying about Frances, but I want to assure you that should she turn up unannounced, uninvited and intend to stay, you have both Rupert and myself to ensure that the woman is moved on swiftly.”