Undeniably Hellbound (Spells That Bind Book 4)

by Cassandra Lawson

  He kissed me and grinned. “I told you that you’d fall in love with me.”

  “Arrogant ass,” I accused.

  We began a new chapter in our relationship in the place we’d met. I’d never expected to find love, but I had in the arms of the devil.

  Severed Ties

  A Spells That Bind Bonus Story

  Cast out of her werewolf pack at the age of sixteen, Hadley had to learn to survive on her own. Ten years later, she’s grown into a strong woman who no longer feels there is a huge void in her life from the loss of her pack. That is until she runs into the one member of her pack she’s always missed. Jake had always been sweet and funny, the boy she’d considered her best friend growing up. Jake is no longer a boy, and he’s willing to give up everything to be with her.

  Severed Ties Chapter 1

  I often came to the park when I was down, mostly because it reminded me of simpler times—times when I hadn’t pretended to be happy. It wasn’t until around my twelfth birthday that I started to realize something was wrong with me. It seemed the bright colors in my life suddenly dulled.

  “What are you doing out here, Hadley?” my best friend, Jake, asked as he sat beside me.

  I pasted my brightest smile on my face, having learned long ago to pretend nothing was wrong. “Nothing much. I just figured I could use some fresh air.”

  “Are you looking forward to the full moon?” Jake asked, but he didn’t give me time to answer. “Can you believe we finally get to go on our first run with the pack? I feel like a man.”

  I laughed at Jake’s energy. He was one of the few members of my werewolf pack who could make me happy. Skinny and awkward, he was still very much a boy. I envied Jake, who put little effort into making others like him and seemed genuinely happy. His life wasn’t a lie.

  “It should be fun,” I admitted with a bright smile.

  “What’s wrong, Hadley?” Jake seemed to know when my smiles were lies. Some days, like this one when I didn’t believe I could take anymore, I wanted desperately to tell Jake what was going on in the hopes he could help me.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” I assured him with a laugh. “I’m just tired after this last week of school. Not everyone can be as smart as you.”

  Jake gave me a shy smile, the one he used on other girls, and I genuinely laughed for the first time in days. “That won’t work on me, Jake. I’m not like those girls who fall all over themselves to be with you.”

  He let out a sigh. “Don’t I know it,” he muttered.

  “Don’t pretend your feelings are hurt. I’m your best friend, and I know you like the pretty, popular girls at school,” I reminded him.

  Jake opened his mouth to say something before closing it and considering his words carefully. “Is it the fact that we’re so close to the full moon?” he asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Is that why you’re sad?” he asked.

  “I’m not sad,” I insisted. “Why are you being such a pest?”

  Standing from his swing, Jake moved behind mine and wrapped his arms around me. For just a moment, everything seemed okay. That was the power Jake had with his positive thinking. “Come run with me, Hadley. It’ll make you feel better.”

  I hesitated, desperately wanting him to be right. I wanted to go back to the happy times when I’d run free with Jake. Those were the days when I hadn’t needed to work at being happy. Those were the days before I’d discovered I was defective and begun hiding it from the pack.

  Forcing a smile, I stood, pulling out of his arms. “Sure, I’ll run with you.”

  One last run with the only boy I regretted leaving behind. My first genuine smile in longer than I could remember came as I realized I’d soon be free.

  Severed Ties Chapter 2

  Ten Years Later

  His eyes had been on me since he’d walked into the meeting room. I suppose it would be more accurate to say that, while everyone’s eyes were on me, his were the only ones I felt. I’d never expected to see Jake again, not after that misty November day when I’d no longer been able to pretend everything was okay. Fighting back the memories, I focused on what was important, my presentation to the Sonoma pack. I needed to answer the barrage of questions they were firing at me.

  “While we all sympathize with those too weak to survive in the pack, I’m not sure why we need to change our policies,” an older werewolf stated, receiving nods from several others.

  “Werewolves need the closeness of their pack,” I began, having answered similar questions enough to have my practiced answer ready. “The current solution is to send pack members dealing with any type of mental illness away. They are cast out and told they can never be useful members of the pack. This only creates more problems. Suicide rates among werewolves are at such an alarming rate. The witches have demanded something be done about it.”

  “Witches,” another werewolf scoffed. “What do they know?”

  “They’re the ones who make sure the humans involved don’t remember they have proof of the existence of werewolves,” Jake interjected from the back of the room, his voice filled with a quiet authority he hadn’t possessed the last time I’d seen him. Back then, he’d been a sweet-natured boy on the cusp of manhood. Everyone had liked Jake’s easygoing attitude. Now, Jake practically oozed alpha male.

  Clearing my throat and struggling to get my mind focused on the meeting, I looked away from Jake. “That’s correct. The witches are tired of cleaning up our messes.”

  “We pay them,” another wolf argued.

  “The loss of life is also a serious issue,” I replied.

  “Listen, little girl,” a male not much older than me began with a condescending sneer. “I can appreciate you pitying the defective wolves, but we’re being kind. Many believe we should destroy all defective werewolves since they’re too weak to survive.”

  “Ten years ago, I overdosed in an attempt to end my own life,” I stated. Even from across the room, I could hear Jake’s sharp intake of breath. “I’d been depressed for several years. Each day, I woke up feeling broken and ashamed. The ingrained idea among werewolves that I was a defect made me pretend nothing was wrong in front of others until I couldn’t take anymore.”

  When I looked up, I expected to see pity in Jake’s pale eyes, but I saw anger instead, which was comforting in many ways. When I admitted this to groups, I often saw disgust or pity. I continued my talk about the dangers of ignoring problems and labeling wolves as weak. By the end of my speech, I was exhausted. I suspected the pack wasn’t going to change, but I’d made a difference in others and that was what I needed to keep in mind.

  Looking toward the back of the room, I found Jake gone, much like I’d expected. It had been too many years since I’d seen my best friend, and he was a member of a pack that considered me a defect.

  Walking toward my car, I was surprised to find Jake leaning against the hood, arms crossed in front of his broad chest, waiting for me. Jake looked nothing like the boy I’d been friends with. He’d been skinny with a goofy grin and extremely short hair.

  Now, his body had filled out, and he definitely looked like a man. His dark brown hair fell to just past his shoulders. His neatly trimmed beard covered his angular jaw. Broad shoulders encased in a tight black t-shirt tapered down to a narrow waist.

  “Hadley,” was all he said. Just one word—just my name.

  “Jake,” I replied, giving him one of my more practiced smiles. It was an old habit I still fell into at times. I’d spent too many years pretending things didn’t bother me.

  “You seem surprised to see me,” he remarked, flashing a brief smile.

  “I am,” I admitted. “I had no idea this was your pack. Are you an enforcer?” It seemed like a safe guess, considering the muscles rippling under his tight black t-shirt and the fact that he’d stood at the back of the room throughout the meeting.

  Jake laughed at my question. “No, I’m not an enforcer, and this isn’t my pack. I’m still with
our pack.”

  “It’s not my pack anymore,” I reminded him, meeting his smoky gray eyes.

  “I know,” he replied, stalking toward me, suddenly looking angry again. “You left without a word.”

  “In my defense, I was unconscious at the time,” I said, trying for a light tone. “After that, I was banished from the pack.”

  “You had my phone number,” he accused.

  There was this part of me that was thrilled with Jake’s anger and accusations. Only my parents, the old pack leader, and Gryphon, the enforcer who’d found me near death, knew what had happened that night. I’d imagined telling Jake on a number of occasions, but I’d always envisioned him reacting with pity. For more than a year, I’d pitied myself.

  “What part of banished aren’t you getting, Jake?” I asked. “I wasn’t a member of the pack. You have to see why I couldn’t call you.”

  Jake shook his head. “I don’t see that. You were my best friend. You were the girl I dreamed of having my first time with. When you left, it was like my heart had been ripped out.”

  Without saying another word, Jake climbed into his car and drove off. For the first time in many years, I missed a piece of my old life. I missed Jake, but I was a realist. Even if Jake wasn’t mad at me, he couldn’t be part of my life. His pack would never allow it.

  Severed Ties Chapter 3

  When my phone buzzed, I grabbed my pill bottle. Werewolves metabolized medications so quickly, I had to take my antidepressants six times a day for them to remain effective. It was worth it to feel normal. Looking around my apartment, I was lonely for the first time in years. Seeing Jake reminded me of all I’d lost with my pack. While I’d survived and learned to live without my pack, it had been difficult at first. With any luck, I could prevent others from suffering like I had.

  Grabbing my phone to turn off the alarm, I noticed I had a text message, which must have come through when my alarm sounded.

  Jake: It’s Jake. Lunch tomorrow?

  His request was so unexpected, I simply stared at my phone, not sure what to do. I had no idea how he’d gotten my number. When the doorbell rang, I was grateful for the reprieve from deciding how to respond to Jake’s invitation. Standing at my door was Evangalina Talbot, Evie to everyone who knew her. Evie was one of the witches who worked with me to raise acceptance and awareness of mental illness among werewolves. Not only was she one of the few psychiatrists in the paranormal community where mental health issues were still largely unaccepted, she was also a doctor who helped hide the existence of werewolves when they ended up in human hospitals. She’d been there the day I’d been treated, and we’d developed a friendship over the years. That was why Evie was no longer my psychiatrist. While there were no rules against her treating me, we’d decided it would be awkward.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” I told Evie, thankful I’d invited her over.

  Evie came into the house, looking concerned. “Are you okay?”

  Evie’s familiar, a black cat named Jezebel, eyed me before shaking her head and making herself comfortable on my sofa.

  “You are not the doctor here, Jezi,” Evie called out to her familiar.

  “She should be,” I argued. “Jezebel is never wrong.”

  “Except when it comes to men,” Evie reminded me.

  I laughed, which eased some of my tension. Evie’s familiar loved all men, and Evie had learned early in life not to take her familiar’s advice on men.

  “Do you think you created a monster by naming her Jezebel?” I asked.

  “I don’t see any other explanation,” Evie agreed. “So, what’s bothering you? As much as I hate to admit it, my familiar is usually right about these things. Do you need your medication adjusted?”

  “I’m definitely not depressed,” I assured her. “Just confused.”

  “About what?” she pushed.

  “I met with the Sonoma pack,” I began.

  Evie groaned, probably already guessing how they’d reacted. They were one of the packs we’d expected to be resistant to any change, so I’d been prepared. “Were they more awful than we expected?”

  “Actually, they were much nicer than I’d expected them to be when they told me rejects such as me should be banished from packs. I’ll admit I was a little off the entire presentation, but that was probably because Jake was there.”

  “Jake?” I saw the moment Evie recognized the name because her eyes widened. “Jake from your old pack?”

  I nodded. “My childhood best friend was there the entire presentation.”

  “Was he a dick about everything?” she asked.

  “No, but he was angry with me for keeping it from him,” I admitted. “He didn’t understand why I never called him.”

  “How did that make you feel?” she asked, laughing when I glared at her. “Sorry, but this is what I do. You’re a clinical psychologist, so you understand how it is.”

  “It hurt, and I’m confused by my reaction to him,” I explained. “Jake is not the skinny boy I left behind.”

  “So, he’s totally hot,” she deduced.

  “Oh. My. God,” I began. “He is beyond drool worthy.”

  “Too bad he didn’t want to rekindle your friendship or do a sexy striptease for you,” Evie said, shaking her hips back and forth in the worst impression of a lap dance I’d ever seen.

  Trying to get my laughter under control, I grabbed the only throw pillow Jezebel hadn’t sprawled out on and tossed it at her. “Please stop. We both know you cannot dance.”

  “I can!” she argued, “just not very well. I wonder if your sexy wolf can dance.”

  “You are just as bad as your familiar,” I accused.

  Jezebel glared at me, and I was sure she didn’t appreciate the comparison. “Sorry, Jezi,” I told her, but my apology didn’t save my throw pillow from her snagging it with her claws.

  Evie cringed. “Sorry. I promise to replace it.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I assured her, waving off her offer. “I only put these out when you’re coming over.”

  Evie laughed, but Jezebel did not look amused at having been thwarted.

  “Jake messaged me right before you got here, asking me to have lunch with him,” I told my friend.

  “What did you say?” she asked.

  “I haven’t answered him,” I admitted. “What am I supposed to say?”

  “Yes, of course,” Evie told me. “What harm can there be in meeting him?”

  “He’s still a member of my old pack,” I explained, and Evie’s face fell.

  As far as the pack was concerned, I no longer existed. It was why I’d never go to my old pack to speak about mental health awareness. I was dead to them, and Jake should not be contacting me.

  “I can’t meet him,” I told Evie with a sad sigh.

  “The hell you can’t,” Evie snapped angrily. “It’s a stupid policy, and you do not need to respect it.”

  “You want me to get Jake in trouble with the pack?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “I think you should give Jake the chance you didn’t give him all those years ago. Let him decide how he’s going to handle your banishment.”

  Looking at my friend, I realized she was right. With a decisive nod, I grabbed my phone and typed out a reply before I could change my mind.

  Hadley: I’m free in the afternoon. Where would you like to meet?

  “I just agreed to meet him,” I breathed out.

  Evie hugged me. “Don’t worry, Hadley. This will be great.”

  I wasn’t sure I agreed, but Evie was right about letting Jake decide if he wanted to risk angering the pack. It wasn’t my job to protect him.

  Severed Ties Chapter 4

  I was definitely on edge about having lunch with Jake, which was crazy considering I’d never been nervous around him before. Growing up, we’d done everything together. Back then, I’d been hiding the parts of myself that made me defective in the eyes of the werewolves. Now, I went to packs and told t
hem about my struggles with depression, and Jake had seen my talk. It’s not that I was ashamed, not anymore at least. That might be the problem with seeing Jake. He was a reminder of a time when I’d been ashamed.

  After parking, I made my way to the restaurant and found Jake already standing in front, messing with his phone. Even though we were in a busy area, I knew he sensed me coming. Werewolves have an annoyingly good sense of smell. I say annoying because I live in a human apartment complex, and I am often overwhelmed with the many smells around me. I tended to stay out on weekends when more humans were home.

  Jake slipped his phone into his pocket and looked at me with a shy smile that reminded me more of the boy he’d once been than the man he seemed to have grown into.

  “Hi,” he greeted me before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around me for a much too brief hug. “I wasn’t sure you’d come today.”

  “I was tempted to tell you no,” I admitted and almost laughed at Jake’s frown. “That surprises you?”

  “Women don’t generally turn me down,” he admitted before laughing at himself. “That sounded much more arrogant than I intended.”

  “Big man now,” I teased. “The women fall at your feet. I guess they all forgot what a dork you really are.”

  He laughed again and reached out to snag my hand before I realized what he was doing. “Used to be? Just last week, I had to take a group of young werewolves out for a run, and I made one of them wear a pack with my phone in it.”

  “And that makes you a dork how?” I asked as Jake led me into the restaurant. “It makes sense to have your phone in case there’s an emergency.”

  “I needed it because we were heading to an area where I thought I might catch a Jigglypuff,” he explained, motioning for me to take a seat in the booth.

  I slid in, expecting Jake to take a seat across from me. Instead, he slid into the booth beside me.

  “A Jigglypuff?” I asked, certain I’d misheard him.