Breaking Defenses
Page 10
Her spine stiffens. “Why do you do that? One minute you’re relaxed, and jovial, and the next you’re closed off and angry. If you don’t want me here then why did you ask me?”
“That’s the problem! I do want you here.”
She sighs, her shoulders drop. “I’m not following.”
I bury my head in my hands and groan, “I like you.”
“Okay, I like you too. It’s nice to have a friend—”
“Fuck, don’t say that.” I rub my eyes and feel the beginning of a headache form. “I don’t want to be your friend.”
When she doesn’t immediately respond I risk a glance at her. For a woman as smart as Rowan, she’s not catching on. I’m going to have to spell it out.
“I want more than friendship from you.”
Her already pale face gets paler. Her mouth gapes.
“Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
“I…” She blinks and shakes her head. “I already told you I’m not the kind of woman who can just have sex without a relationship—”
“Yeah. I want that. What you said, that’s what I want.”
She plants her hand behind her, as if she needs to steady herself to keep from falling over. “You want a relationship.”
“Yes.” I nod for emphasis, just in case she’s still not following. “With you. I want to try.”
“Try…”
“Try, yes. I’d like to try to be in a relationship with you.”
She swallows hard and I long to press my lips to her throat and feel it against my mouth.
“So can we?”
“Hold on.” She blinks rapidly, her gaze swings from the television then back to me. “Are you saying you want a relationship so that you can have sex with me?”
I should probably be offended by her question, but she has a good point. Most men would tell a woman whatever they think she wants to hear if it means getting laid. “Rowan, you know me. I don’t need to lie to get a woman to sleep with me. Matter of fact…” I scoot closer to her so that our thighs are touching. I put my arm on the back of the couch, caging her without touching. “I’m willing to bet that I could get you to have no-strings sex with me eventually.”
“That is not true,” she says with uncomfortable laughter.
“In the last couple days I’ve held you, kissed your hand, your head. Eventually I’d be kissing your cheek. How long until you’d be letting me kiss those delicious looking lips of yours?”
Another swallow.
“And once we kiss? The level of chemistry swirling between us? There’s no way we wouldn’t end up naked and tangled together.”
Her breathing is coming faster, the pulse in her neck flutters.
“I won’t lie. I want to get inside you.”
Her breath hitches.
“But more than that, I want to try this whole girlfriend boyfriend thing out and I really want to try it with you.”
Her lips tilt slowly until she’s grinning wide. “You want to be my boyfriend?”
“More than anything.” Fuck me, but it’s the honest to God truth.
Her grin falls and she rubs her teeth along her lip. “What does that look like exactly?”
“Your guess is as good as mine. But I know I want to be loyal to only you, so no other women.”
She snorts. “That’s a given.”
“Same goes for you. Be nice for you to tell Marcus and Levi you’re no longer available. If I catch either of them staring at your ass again I’ll bust their noses open.”
“You would not.”
With my hand on the back of the couch, I’m inches away from her neck. I reach around and cup her nape, giving her a possessive squeeze. “If we do this, you’re mine.”
Her eyes flicker with defiance and fuck me, I feel that in my dick. “And you’d be mine.”
“One hundred percent, yes.”
She lifts a brow. “So I could bust open the noses of all the women who check you out.”
I dig this feisty side of her. “Yep, but I’d hate to see you hurt those lovely hands of yours so I’ll make it clear I’m happily taken.”
I’m not quite sure if she’s agreed yet, but when her eyes drop to my lips I see the question in her gaze.
“Do you want me to kiss you now?”
Her eyes flare. “Yes.”
“Finally.” I tug her forward until our lips hover just inches away. “You have no idea how long I’ve been dying to kiss you.” I brush my lips against hers, a barely there tease. “But first, tell me your mine, baby.”
She nods.
“No, I need to hear you say it.”
“I’m yours, Carey.”
“Good girl.” I move in for the kiss, my mouth so eager to get on hers I’m practically dizzy.
She pulls her head away. “And what about you?”
“You know I’m yours, Ro,” I growl. “I have been for days. Now fucking kiss me already.”
I don’t expect her to make the move and I gasp into her mouth as her lips come down on mine. The first lick of her tongue breaks what little restraint I managed to hold onto. I dive both hands into her hair, tilt her head, and plunder her mouth like the desperate man I am. She tastes sweet with a hint of beer and I know I’ll always associate the flavor with her. Her hands fist in my shirt, nails scraping along my chest drawing a moan from my throat.
Just when I think she can’t blow my mind more than she has, she crawls to me and straddles my lap. My hips thrust forward and her back arches pressing the hottest part of her against the hardest part of me.
I break the kiss and fist her hair harder. “Ro, baby, you’re so fucking sexy.”
She closes her eyes and rolls her hips, finding her own pleasure while I sit there struck dumb by her boldness. Most women I’ve been with haven’t gone after their pleasure like this and I’m reduced to a worthless, panting, amateur while my woman works to get herself off against me.
I hook the hem of her sweater and pull it up over her head, grateful when she raises her arms and helps me rip the thing from her body. Her bra is nothing special, a beige cotton number that tells me Rowan’s more concerned with comfort and conventionality over sex appeal. I’d bet my balls she doesn’t own lacy date bras or any playful bedroom attire. She doesn’t just let anyone see her like this—topless and wanton. And damn if that shit doesn’t make me harder.
I run my hands from her hair down her soft shoulders, arms, to her waist, and up until I’m cupping her heavy breasts in my hands. She drops forward, her lips on mine and kisses me hard, sucking, nipping, and ravaging my mouth. When she pulls away and arches her back, putting her tits in my face, I don’t make her ask twice. I tug her bra cups down, her plump nipples spring free, the prettiest dusty rose color, my mouth waters. How many times did I fantasize about these breasts, imagining what they’d look like and what they’d taste like? I run my thumbs along the pebbled tips, circling them over and over until they tighten even more.
Her small hands grip my shoulders, squeeze, and attempt to pull me closer. “Please, I need your mouth.”
“Where, baby?” I pinch her nipples and rub out the sting. “Here?”
Her chin falls forward, her hair creating auburn curtains around us as she comes after my mouth again. She pulls my lower lip, biting down hard.
“Fuck.” I groan and my dick turns to steal at the pain-pleasure of her bite. “Demanding little thing.”
As I lick her nipple into my mouth my eyelids drop closed. So soft. I suck and her hips grind down hard, her sigh of pleasure drowning out the sound of the television until all I hear is her breaths, moans, and whimpers.
I move to her neglected breast, cupping the weight and bringing her delicate flesh to my mouth. My heart pounds and my hands shake as if I’ve never touched a woman before.
“Merry Christmas to me,” Spider drawls.
I wrap Rowan in my arms, hiding her topless form against my chest and behind my biceps. “What the fuck!” I glare at my roommate whil
e simultaneously berating myself for not considering the asshole walking in us.
“This is so embarrassing,” Ro mumbles against my neck, the heat of her face burns against my skin.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I whisper. “Wrap your legs around me.” When she does, I snag her sweater and stand. She clings to me. “Close your eyes.”
“Okay.” She nuzzles her face deeper into my neck and damn if that shit doesn’t make me feel a hundred feet tall.
“Hey, you guys don’t need to leave on my account.” Spider scratches his bare, tattoo-covered torso. “I was hoping for a little entertainment.”
“Fuck off,” I say as I pass him, taking Rowan up the stairs.
“Oh come on, Slade! It’s Christmas! Don’t be such a stingy asshole!”
I cringe as his words follow us to the second floor because I know Rowan heard him and she doesn’t need a reminder of my sexual history right now.
“I’m so sorry,” I mumble into her hair.
Once in my bedroom, I kick the door closed and flip the lock, then cross the dark room to my bed where I lay a trembling Rowan down on the comforter. I am painfully hard and my pulse races to pick up where we left off, but I refuse to touch her again until I’m sure she’s okay.
Please, baby. Please be okay.
Chapter Twelve
Rowan
Oh. My. God.
The most humiliating experience of my life happened when I was fourteen years old. A kid dropped his chocolate pudding on the cafeteria floor and before the janitor got there to clean it up I unknowingly stepped on the mess, fell, and landed on my butt. My entire ass was covered in chocolate pudding. The school nurse called my mom asking her to bring me a clean pair of pants but she refused. The only spare pants the nurse had went home with a kid two days ago after she started her period at school. She had yet to bring them back. So I spent the entire second half of the day being called Rowan Poopy Pants.
I thought nothing could be more embarrassing than that.
I was wrong.
I cover my face with my hands and groan. “Do you think he saw my boobs?”
The bed dips next to me and Carey pries my fingers from my eyes. “No. I don’t think he saw anything,” His expression is etched with worry. “I feel like shit. I’m so sorry.” He brings my hand between both of his. “He only saw your back and even still I want to gouge his fucking eyes out and give him a lobotomy so he’ll forget what he saw.”
“That’s a little extreme.” I try to cover my breasts with my other arm.
His eyes track my attempt and he reaches over me, pulls his comforter, and brings it over me. “Not extreme enough if you ask me,” he mumbles. “Your body is for my eyes only.”
I had no idea how good it would feel to belong to someone else in this way. My dad left when I was a baby, my mom treated me like more of a burden than a child, but as Carey tucks his thick comforter around my bare shoulders with such tenderness my heart melts a little.
“If my body is for your eyes only then why are you cocooning me into your bed covers?”
His hands still and his shadowed form slumps a little. “I feel awful.”
“Don’t. I get it. I’m sure you and your roommates have walked in on each other plenty of times.”
“That’s the problem. This, between us, it’s different. I haven’t had a chance to tell the guys so they don’t get it yet, but as soon as I can I’ll make it clear, they do not get that.” He’s practically growling now, his body tense.
I push up, peeling myself out of the covers, and throw my hands around his neck. “You’re shaking.”
His arms come around me. “I’m not used to feeling this way.”
When he first told me how he felt, I thought it could be a line. I assumed Carey got women into this bed because of his good looks and hard body, but after the little speech on his couch, I realized he’s also incredibly good with words. But they weren’t just words, were they?
As I hold the gigantic man in my arms, his body relaxing to my touch, I’m reminded of what he said earlier.
He doesn’t have to throw lines to get a woman in bed with him.
Rather than put me in his bed and strip me naked, he covered me lovingly with a blanket.
I turn my head and press my lips to the muscled column of his throat. He releases a breath, and his arms tighten around me. I kiss him again moving up his neck to his jaw, the corner of his mouth, and finally his lips.
He kisses me back, not with the same urgency as he did downstairs, but with a delicate touch I wouldn’t think a man his size is capable of.
“We don’t have to do this.” His words ghost against my mouth.
“I want to.” I kiss him deeper. “I want you.”
“Are you sure?” He kisses down my neck.
I tilt my chin up as he peppers his lips lower to my clavicle. “Yes.”
With a flick of his fingers, my bra snaps away from my back. He lays me back, slipping the bra down my arms and dropping it to the floor. He climbs next to me, his long body stretching along mine, warm, hard, and safe.
His face illuminated by the streetlight outside his window, I watch him gaze upon me with a kind of appreciation that makes my eyes burn. “Are you really mine?”
I don’t know if that’s a question for me, or if he meant that just for himself, but I answer anyway. “Yes.”
We kiss for a long time, longer than I would expect a man like Carey to tolerate, but I remind myself that things are different with us. I’m not a one-night conquest to him, and the way he kisses me only reinforces that.
When his hand skates down between my breasts to the elastic band of my leggings, he pulls his mouth from mine and brushes his along my skin.
I answer the question in his eyes with a whimpered, “Please.”
Rather than kiss me, he keeps his eyes on mine as he dips his hand beneath my panties and cups me between my legs. He drops his forehead to mine with a long, drawn out moan. “You’re so hot, baby. So wet.” His fingers don’t penetrate, he doesn’t move, just continues his possessive hold unmoving.
I pull at his shirt, slip my hands underneath, and rake my nails up his ribs. He hisses, but still doesn’t move.
“Why won’t you touch me?” I cry out in frustration.
“Trying not to come,” he says in a guttural voice. “Gimme a sec.”
I grin, because how is it possible that someone as experienced as Carey Slade could be reduced to teeth-grinding by little ole me? Impatient as ever, I move against his hand, tilting my hips and withdrawing against his hand.
“Ro.”
The warning growl only has me working myself harder against him.
A string of curses falls from his lips and I gasp as he spears two fingers inside me. “Happy now?” he says and punctuates it with a punishing bite on my nipple.
“Yes,” I pant. I’m so close.
His thumb joins the party and when he sinks his tongue between my teeth, I ignite.
I rip my lips away, gasping as lights flash behind my eyes.
“Kiss me.” He demands my lips back and swallows my moans. His hand still works between my legs, pulling every second of pleasure from my body until I’m tender and squirming.
My entire body goes weak and my knees fall open as I try to reorient myself in my body. He’s up, kneeling between my legs; he pulls off my leggings and panties, and when I blink lazy eyes up at him he’s shirtless.
I knew his body was impressive, but seeing him now, his rippled abs, massive pecs and shoulders, all tapered down to narrow hips and the open button of his jeans I swallow hard. Standing tall and testing the seams of his denim is an impressive erection.
“Stop staring at it or I’ll blow.”
I lick my lips and reach for his fly only to have him bat my hands away.
“I’m serious, babe. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, maybe it’s having you in my bed, or maybe it’s just because it’s you, but I’m not gonna last.”
�
�I just want to touch you.” I pout. I want to do more than touch him, I want to taste him.
He drops back to sit on his heels, his torso pumping with heavy breath. “Fine, but I can’t be responsible for what happens.”
I scamper to my knees, naked and oddly secure. Either that orgasm is still swirling through my system making me uncharacteristically confident, or it’s the way he looks at me. As if I am the most beautiful woman in the world, the one woman he’d give up all others for. I conclude it’s a combination of both.
I reach for his jeans, working the zipper down over his hard-on. He groans, his head falling back, and I take advantage. I press my bare chest to his and lick his throat. “Mmmm, you taste so good.” Pulling his erection free from his boxer briefs, I fist it hard. “I want to taste more of you.”
I stroke him once and he sucks air through his teeth. With a parting kiss to his full lips, I push my ass back and fold forward. I lick him from base to tip then take as much of him as I can into my mouth.
He curses, and runs his big hand over my hair, down the center of my back to the base of my spine. I close my eyes and moan around him, feeling so small and fragile next to him and yet safer than I’ve ever felt. He puts a gentle pressure on my lower back and I oblige, arching, and putting my ass in the air.
“Fucking gorgeous, baby. You’re so damn sexy.” He squeezes my ass cheek until it burns while I rock back and forth with my mouth. The sounds that emit from this masculine tower of muscle rain down around me as I suck him deeper into my throat. “Perfect,” he moans. “You take me so deep, baby. You see, you were made for me.” He pulls my hair away, holding it in a fist at the back of my head as he watches, moving his hips, he works himself in my mouth. “I don’t want to finish in your mouth. I want to be inside you.”
I’m so turned on, I want that too.
I back off and he jumps off the bed, kicking off his jeans and boxer briefs. He dips into his desk drawer and rips open the condom with his teeth, rolling it on as he walks back to the bed.
“You keep condoms in your desk?”
“Yeah, you got a problem with that?” There’s amusement in his voice as he crawls onto the bed over me, forcing me to my back as he settles between my legs.