Ummath

by Sharmila Seyyid

  ‘Magal, come, sit down and eat. We’ll talk about this later.’

  Vappa’s insouciance in the face of this crisis exasperated Thawakkul, and something snapped in her. ‘Vappa don’t you care what happens to me? How can you take this so lightly?’

  The piece of roti fell from his nerveless fingers into the bowl of olive oil.

  He turned to Nisha. ‘Do you hear our daughter?’ he said sarcastically. ‘When we tried to reason with her in the beginning and repeatedly asked her to quit her wretched job, she refused to listen. Now, when the flood waters have wholly submerged us, she decides it’s time to build a dam.’

  Vappa’s words took her by surprise. Azeem had prophesied some danger befalling her family because of her social work activities. She didn’t expect the rift would begin within the family.

  Her confusion increased; she knew that decisions taken in a hurry and in a state of confusion always resulted in wrong outcomes. But, in fact, in her case they did often end well.

  Vappa, who had always been a pillar of strength through the various troubles their family had experienced, was someone upon whose shoulder she had always leaned. She regretted losing her temper with him and forcing him to raise his voice at her.

  ‘Anees Moulavi is neither a friend nor a relative. We live in uncertain times and we don’t know who we can trust. Just because he has the title of “moulavi” doesn’t mean that he’ll help us? Moulavis slander and contradict each other these days. When people only want to warm themselves in the blaze of another’s misfortune, our problem could worsen if we approached this man.’

  ‘Please, stop,’ pleaded Nisha. ‘You’re scolding her when she is confused.’

  ‘Do you stop?’ snapped Habeeb. ‘This is all because of your indulgence. When anonymous warning letters arrive, you lament and weep for a day. And then you tell yourself that there is no need to do anything about it and everything returns to normal the next day. You’re the reason for Thawakkul’s stubbornness with her social work.’

  Thawakkul watched her parents squabbling with a sinking heart.

  Yoga, who had joined them at the table, was a mute spectator. It bothered her that there had been continuous quarrels and disputes since her advent into this household. ‘Perhaps I was better off at home,’ she thought as she stood there.

  Thawakkul felt that the situation would worsen if she did not intervene. Nisha did not let go and continued arguing. ‘Why should we feel threatened by men who know nothing about our religion?’ asked Nisha

  ‘My point exactly. Why are you all worried like this? Why so listless? Laugh and make merry,’ jibed Habeeb. ‘We could brush off anonymous letters as the work of cowards. But this is direct intimidation, this is far more frightening. If there is a connection between the two threats, that means that these people think they are above the law. How can we not worry then?’

  ‘Umma, stop it!’ said Thawakkul, annoyed for the first time in her life with her Umma. ‘Vappa, for Allah’s sake please forgive me for causing so many arguments in this home. I am afraid that what I hope will happen and I am scared. For Allah’s sake stop this.’ The tears couldn’t be held back and she rose from the dinner table, went quickly into her room and slammed the door.

  ‘Magal!’Habeeb and Nisha called out together. ‘Che…’ Habeeb regretted his outburst.

  Dinner untouched, the girls and Yoga sat quietly at the table. Nisha, who felt a surge of pity for Yoga, who was looking bewildered, gestured to the food, indicating that they should help themselves.

  ‘Magal,’ said Nisha, ‘these are trying times for us, but it’s alright. Something will work out. Eat, ma.’

  ‘Please call Thawakkul Akka as well,’ whispered Yoga.

  ‘Leave her alone for now,’ said Nisha gently. ‘She needs her space for a bit.’

  Yoga realized only now that it was the great love and care that they had for each other that had caused all the problems here. There’s conflict whether there’s hate or love. These were really loving people, evident in the way they handled words even when they were cross. Despite the many arguments and counter-arguments, when Thawakkul Akka asked them to forgive her, they had immediately calmed down. Above everything else, Thawakkul’s mother was very affectionate and understood her daughter perfectly. Jana sat down beside Yoga and ladled out the fish curry into Yoga’s plate her and her own. ‘Yoga, don’t be shy; eat properly,’ she said, softly.

  ‘I wasn’t sure what to make today, so I made roti and fish curry in a hurry,’ Nisha said sighing.

  ‘It’s great, Amma, very tasty,’ said Yoga, feeling embarrassed at being in the limelight suddenly.

  ‘Thawakkul hasn’t eaten, has she?’ asked Habeeb worriedly.

  Thawakkul loved to eat the whole wheat flour roti, cut into triangles and spread with butter and sprinkled with pepper.

  ‘Mmmm,’ she’d say, ‘Just try it and see how great it tastes!’

  Vappa, Umma and her sisters would protest vociferously because they considered this an appalling combination. Whenever her work took her out of town, her parents would worry all the time wondering whether she managed to fit in mealtimes with her busy schedules. Her siblings looked up to her in awe and loved her dearly

  When Gulfer brought in a jug of water to Yoga’s room, she asked her if she was nervous about sleeping alone in a strange place. She told her not to hesitate and to call out if she needed anything.

  Yoga smiled and shook her head. Gulfer waited until Yoga lay down and then switched on a dim night light and left.

  Unanswered questions churning in their minds kept the household awake until the wee hours that night.

  2

  Theivanai’s house wore a festive look for the inauguration of her business enterprise. Her mother and her sister had gone ahead with grand arrangements without consulting Theivanai.

  ‘Theivanai, call Thawakkul and remind her to come, in case she forgets all about this and goes off somewhere else.’

  Theivanai was irritated by her mother’s lack of confidence in Thawakkul. ‘Amma, Thawakkul Akka is not someone who forgets important things like this.’

  Rasammal and Jyothi were busy making Sakkarapongal in their backyard for Thawakkul and her family.

  ‘We’ll use only a part of the pongal for the pujai,’ said Theivanai, carefully ladling a portion into a bowl.

  ‘You say the stupidest things, Theivanai! It would have been so much easier to make the pongal in the temple, but you insisted that we make it at home and now you say that we take just a little for the pujai, not all of it. Have you gone mad?’

  ‘Don’t shout for no reason, ma … Thawakkul Akka is Muslim. Perhaps she won’t eat pongal that has been offered to our gods which is why I say this. Let’s keep some pongal aside for them.’

  ‘That’s alright, but … won’t that be sacrilegious? Pongal, made for the gods, has to be offered to them. Let’s just tell Thawakkul Akka that we made some pongal separately for them, and that our offerings in the temple was an entirely different batch. They aren’t watching us, are they?’

  Theivanai glared at her mother furiously.

  ‘Amma, don’t say such idiotic things. You are asking me to lie to the person who worked so hard to set me up in my life. I don’t need any pongal or pujai. Throw it all out. When Akka arrives, I’ll ask her to cut the ribbon and inaugurate the shop. You’ve no idea, Amma, how much that Akka suffers because she helps people like me. As a Muslim, she is forbidden from leaving the house. There are whole gangs of people against her going out to work and she is facing so much persecution.’

  ‘Oh no, I really didn’t know that!’

  ‘When I was staying in their house, anonymous letters arrived, threatening them. They are all very good people and it is their goodness which is the main problem. For someone who struggles like that for our sake, the only way that we can repay them is to be true to them. Apportion the pongal and keep some for them, that is all,’ said Theivanai.

  ‘Fine, fine. If it’s a bl
asphemy against our deities, upon your head be it.’

  ‘It’ll be fine. Our gods will understand; you need to as well.’

  It was eleven in the morning and Thawakkul had not arrived. Theivanai wrung her hands and paced nervously. She wanted Thawakkul, and Thawakkul alone, to turn on the computer, print out the first page and cut the ribbon across the entrance of the shop. She wondered if perhaps her Amma had been right about this event slipping Thawakkul Akka’s mind, as she was so caught up with her work and personal life. She dialled Thawakkul’s number. The last time she had spoken to Thawakkul was when she was in Colombo.

  She had not spoken to her again after that because Thawakkul’s good advice had remained with her: ‘Don’t waste money on useless chit chat on the phone. Use it only when absolutely necessary.’

  After two or three unsuccessful attempts, Theivanai became anxious. She decided to try the landline. The phone rang endlessly for a long time at the other end. ‘They should pick it up, they should pick it up,’ she repeated to herself as she waited, when suddenly it was answered. When she recognized Sano’s voice, she was overjoyed. ‘Sano, where’s Thawakkul Akka? When are you all arriving here? We’ve made Sakkara Pongal and snacks you mentioned especially for you.’

  Sano, obviously in no mood to emulate Theivanai’s cheery tone, could barely respond and Theivanai couldn’t quite make out what she stuttered. However, what little she could gather of the import of Sano’s words made her very apprehensive. She ran into the house, her prosthesis just about able to take the strain of her speed.

  Jothi was blowing through a metal pipe on the fire from the dried stems of palm leaves and Rasammal was feeding the chickens with the desiccated coconut flesh from which the milk had been extracted. Both looked up at Theivanai in concern.

  ‘We’re not going to open the shop today,’ Theivanai announced.

  ‘Theivanai, what on earth is the matter with you? You keep changing your plans at the drop of a hat,’ Jothi said irritably.

  ‘She’s mad. She’s trying to drive us crazy too,’ grumbled her mother.

  But Theivanai ignored their jibes and continued agitatedly, ‘Thawakkul Akka is not well. I just spoke to them.’

  ‘I told you to call her early this morning—’

  ‘You thought she’d forget, which was why I said it wasn’t necessary. Akka, let’s take all the Pongal and snacks and go and see her.’

  ‘Yes, we must go and see Thawakkul. I’ll ask Atthaan to get us an auto-rickshaw. We’ll take Amma as well. But listen to me first… Thawakkul worked very hard to ensure that your life improves. We should never forget that. So, let us open the shop as planned, today. Tomorrow morning, we’ll go and see them.’

  ‘No,’ snapped Theivanai, ‘I have to go right now. Everything else comes only after I see Akka,’ she insisted.

  ‘We’ve invited all our neighbours. This isn’t right. As your Akka says, we’ll first inaugurate the shop and then we can go and see Thawakkul Akka.’

  Theivanai was revving up to give her mother and sister a piece of her mind, when the telephone rang.

  ‘Thawakkul Akka!’ she exclaimed. ‘I hear you’re not well, Akka. I was on the verge of coming over to see you.’

  ‘I’m okay, Theivanai. Nothing the matter with my physical health. I was only feeling low in spirit … but never mind.’

  Theivanai interrupted her, ‘Why, Akka? What’s the matter? I can guess what it is, Akka … in any case, my advice would be to ask you to ignore it and brush it aside.’

  ‘Thanks, Theivanai. However, it looks like we’ll not be able to come for the inauguration of the shop. Please don’t worry. Go ahead and complete the pujai and the ceremony, alright? Our prayers are with you. We have shown you a little path to help you start living your life as you wished to. Now it is up to you to expand it and convert the sand path into a highway…’

  After a minute pause, she continued, ‘If I asked you for some help, will you do it?’ asked Thawakkul.

  ‘Akka wasn’t someone who loses heart because of some minor worries,’ thought Theivanai. ‘This must be really serious. Dear God, whatever the problem is, it should disappear without a trace … no harm should ever befall her,’ she prayed within her heart.

  ‘Why do you hesitate Theivanai? Won’t you help me?’ Thawakkul repeated softly.

  ‘Why do you talk like this, Akka?’ Theivanai replied, her worry reflected in her voice. ‘You’ll never want for anything or ever be in a state where you have to ask me for help, Akka. I’m willing to lay down my life for you. I really want to see you, Akka. I’ll open the shop another day.’

  ‘No, no. Don’t even think of doing that. That is precisely what I wanted to ask of you. Open the shop and start your work, don’t wait for me. Do you understand that? On another day, whenever I can, I’ll visit your shop. Be happy Theivanai! From now on, everything in your life will only bring you happiness. You’re always in my prayers.’

  After Thawakkul had hung up, Theivanai stayed rooted to the spot. Tears welled up in her eyes. She had never had such friendship with anyone else, a friendship that encouraged her and made her feel supported.

  Jothi and Amma eyed her apprehensively.

  ‘Akka says I must inaugurate the shop,’ whispered Theivanai. Jothi and Amma happily resumed their work. Theivanai remained motionless. Her ambition was to have Thawakkul launch her business and this castle in the air had crumbled.

  Rasammal said hearteningly, ‘Theivanai, child, don’t worry. We’ll open the shop as Akka recommends and then we’ll go and see them. From today, you’re the proprietor of a business establishment. Come on, smile, no more long faces!’

  After a sleepless night, Thawakkul’s eyes were puffy with dark circles beneath them and she could sense the onset of a severe headache.

  She savoured the solitude in her room as, from the moment she awoke, her brain once again began pondering on how one person’s actions could impact on the entire household and under no circumstances would she be able to live with anything happening to members of her family because of her. This was the thought that had kept her awake for most of the night; her mind had instituted a court of inquiry and had finally arrived at a resolution.

  ‘My argument has always been that I’ve done nothing wrong,’ she thought, ‘but there is no one in my corner except my parents and siblings. How many people in this village, known and unknown, have I helped? How many of them have stood up and vouched for me? However, they will accept any help that is given with alacrity. Azeem spoke the truth when he said that people give a wide berth to folks with problems. And Umma and Vappa want to solve this problem without going to the police or anybody else for help; how is that possible?’

  Azeem’s words, ‘The men who were making enquiries about you are bad men, capable of anything, even murder,’ kept haunting her.

  When she eventually emerged from her room, Umma, her sisters and Yoga were on the patio chairs in the porch. Thawakkul was still in her pyjamas. Her face looked pale and drawn. She had simply put her thick hair in a hairband without bothering to comb and style it.

  Thawakkul felt a twinge of remorse as her eyes rested on Yoga. Getting her promised prosthesis would now be delayed by another week or so. Also, she didn’t deserve to get sucked into Thawakkul’s personal problems when Yoga herself had had so much misfortune in her own life.

  Nisha affectionately reached for Thawakkul and caressed her back.

  ‘I’ve got a head-ache, Umma. Where’s Vappa? Has he left for work already?’

  ‘He has gone to the market and will be back soon.’

  Thawakkul turned to Yoga apologetically, ‘I’m really sorry about all this, Yoga. I thought you’d be able to spend a few days in our house in peace, instead of which you’re going through all this unnecessary drama.’

  ‘But, Akka, I do understand. Everybody has their own problems. Going out of your way to help people like me, is the reason that you are being harassed like this.’

  Yoga longed to be
come a combatant again, this time to fight those who hindered women’s emancipation.

  For a few moments Yoga became a warrior again. In her fantasy, these misogynists were clapped in irons and lampooned.

  ‘There is no need for a trial,’ commanded Yoga to her army of Amazons, ‘Just shoot them all down!’

  Then Yoga rescinded her order, ‘No, wait, comrades, shooting them is too easy on them. I want them stripped naked, dismembered, maimed and mutilated. What gave these bastards the right to sit judgment on a woman’s chastity? Who are they? Not one of them is pure and they’re certainly not chaste themselves. They commit lewd acts with their eyes and their talk, in a million different ways. First, we will untie them and shoot their legs. Let them howl for a while. Whoever makes these monsters howl the loudest, will be given a very exotic, happiness-giving prize. The best torture method will also be rewarded. The faces should be beyond recognition by the time we’re through with them – their toes should replace their eyes. At the end, their brains must splatter as they die. Now, let the manhunt commence!’

  It was a pleasant daydream even though, having lived through a war, she knew that vengeance killing only made matters worse if anything.

  She was rudely brought back to earth by someone saying, ‘Assalam Aleikum.’

  ‘Come in, Raththa is at home,’ said Sano, welcoming the guests gracefully.

  Siyama and her mother’s faces were glowing with gratitude.

  ‘Hello Siyama,’ smiled Thawakkul.

  ‘Assalam Aleikum, Raththa,’said Siyama, her soft voice brimming with happiness.

  ‘Va Aleikum Salam. You seem to be very happy, Siyama.’

  ‘I’ve got some great news for you. We came that day when you had gone to Anuradhapura. As your Umma had suggested, I went to that computer institute for an interview and managed to get a job there. There’s a probation period of six months. They’re starting me on a salary of ten thousand rupees. They said that they would increase it after six months.’