by Anita Notaro
‘Please stay, you’re part of this,’ Katie said.
‘We wouldn’t be here without you, in fact,’ Emily added. ‘If you hadn’t left that business card we might never have met.’ She looked adoringly at her sister. ‘I can’t believe you’ve found me.’
‘And I can’t believe you seem as excited as I am.’ Katie grinned. ‘I expected you to feel – I dunno – jealous or bitter or angry. Or even all three. You have every right to be, you know that?’
‘Maybe, but I don’t feel that way at all. I was extremely lucky, you see. When Kitten gave me up for adoption, a very good family found me. I’ve been well loved and very well cared for.’
‘Have you always known that you were adopted?’ Katie wondered.
‘No, that’s the funny thing. Shortly after I met Lulu, which is a very long and complicated story in itself’ – Emily smiled at me – ‘I found out from my mum; she let it slip in the middle of a heated discussion. And I immediately decided I wanted to meet my birth mother. Mum was reluctant initially, I think she was worried on my behalf, but she relented and gave me all the information she had. I did some research then, but it was really Lulu who helped me, in fact I wouldn’t have gone at all if she hadn’t come with me. I wanted to see Kitten face to face, you see, not write or email or anything. And by pure chance she was at the same address, so it was easy.’
‘Yes, the old house is her latest project.’ I sensed it was one too many, as far as Katie was concerned. ‘So you just turned up? How did she react?’ Katie’s eyes were like saucers.
‘Not very well, I’m afraid,’ Emily told her new sister. ‘She was very cool, annoyed even, would you say, Lulu? She didn’t give us much of her time. She sent us packing, basically.’
Katie said nothing, but her face told me she wasn’t surprised.
‘I was very upset, to be honest. Of all the scenarios I’d played out in my head, her refusing to talk to me was not one of them. Even after we came home, I spent weeks waiting for a call that never came. I kept thinking that once she’d had time to think about it she’d want to see me. I even sent a small card of my own to her at the address where we’d met. I don’t think I ever told you that, Lulu?’
I shook my head.
‘I did it just in case she wanted to see me, but she never wrote or called. I’m an only child, you see, and I desperately wanted to know if I had any brothers or sisters. I’d more or less given up, though, because I knew I couldn’t force the issue. Lulu and I talked a lot about it in the aftermath of that disastrous meeting.’ Her eyes looked sad as she remembered. ‘She helped me through it. But now’ – her face broke into a big grin – ‘you’ve found me, which has made all my dreams come true.’
‘Mine too,’ Katie said, and there was an endless supply of tears, it seemed, but they were happy ones.
‘I’ve so much to say to you,’ Emily said.
‘Me too. But Emily, I feel I have to tell you right at the start, I might be all you get.’ Katie looked sad for a moment. I marvelled at the huge mix of emotions these two young women were dealing with, with dignity and mutual respect. ‘I’d love to tell you Mum will come round eventually, but the truth is I feel she might never.’
She went on to explain all she’d told me, and I wondered what it would do to Emily but, to my surprise, when Katie had finished she said simply, ‘Thank you for telling me that.’ She paused for a moment or two. ‘It’s important for me to know that I haven’t done anything wrong by trying to find her. And I have to accept that she probably won’t want to see me again. But having you is . . . well, I can’t explain it, it’s incredible. I’ve wanted a sister all my life.’ Emily wiped her eyes. ‘I hope we can become friends as well as sisters. Having you is as important as anything I might have found with Kitten.’
‘You’ve no idea how much it means to hear you say that. It’s all I’ve ever wanted too.’ Katie hugged her for the hundredth time. ‘A sister who would be my soul mate.’
‘Aren’t we lucky?’ Emily smiled at me. ‘To have found each other at last.’
‘You are, I think you’ll each be very important for the other one,’ I told them both.
‘And some day – and I’m not even sure when – I’ll tell her we found each other,’ Katie said. ‘Right now I’m too angry and hurt. And I’m so disappointed that, for all she’s taught me about the importance of family, she failed miserably where you’re concerned. But I love her, so I’ll find a way through this. And eventually I want her to know that I have a sister now and, what’s more, she’s my friend.’ As she spoke, I felt sorry for a mother who’d never really know how lucky she was to have given birth to two such beautiful girls. And who might go through life without ever really knowing either of them.
I sent them off to the kitchen for coffee then, to give them some time alone, and as they hugged me and left, I said a prayer of thanks that they’d found each other at last. Seeing them so happy made me ache for the best friend I’d lost. I desperately wanted to get Maddy’s unique take on what I’d just been part of – she’d probably have frogmarched me on to a plane to tell Kitten what an idiot she was. Thinking of the situation as I sat at my desk made me think of my own sister so, on impulse, I picked up the phone.
‘Lou?’ She sounded surprised. ‘Is everything OK?’
‘Yes, I just wanted to say hi.’ I’d no idea where to start really; we hadn’t had a real relationship in years.
‘This is one of those weird coincidences.’ She laughed nervously. ‘I was actually just thinking about asking you for some advice, but I wasn’t sure . . .’ Her voice tailed off, and I knew she felt as awkward as I did.
‘Shoot, what’s up?’ I decided to go for it.
‘It’s a man, wouldn’t you know?’ She laughed. ‘Listen, would you be up for a glass of wine some evening . . . and if not, no problem . . . it’s just—’
‘Sure, I’d like that actually. Let me have a look at my schedule and call you later, if that’s OK?’
‘Brilliant.’ She sounded happy. ‘I could do with your advice.’
Just hearing her say that gave me a nice feeling, and I hung up and decided to go for broke.
‘Mum, it’s me,’ I said to her answering machine. I had decided I was not calling her Martha any more. I’d no idea what time it was in San Diego. ‘Lou . . .’ I added, in case she didn’t know. ‘I was thinking of you and just wanted to say hello so, eh, hello.’ I felt ridiculous. ‘Talk soon and, by the way, I miss you,’ I added, and hung up feeling stupid.
I was glad to have Clodagh coming around that evening. I needed to share my happiness – and sadness – with someone who understood, and I knew she’d be a good sounding board too. On days like today, though, I wished I had someone special to go home to.
* * *
As it turned out, Clodagh got delayed and so did I, so we decided to stay in town and call to see Connie instead. We’d been alternating our visits to her, and both of us had noticed she’d been a bit low that week, so we decided a double helping of Maddy’s friends might cheer her up.
Clodagh agreed to collect fish and chips for all three of us, a major indulgence for her.
‘You must have had a bad day.’ I laughed when she agreed to my suggestion without even a little moan about the fat content.
‘You said it. I’ve been trying to schmooze a client and I’ve spent a huge amount of time on the account, and today I heard they’ve decided to go with one of the bigger companies.’
‘Ah, Clodagh, I’m sorry.’ I knew she was working all hours trying to bring in new clients. ‘You must be very disappointed.’
‘I am, but hell, no one died.’ It had become one of our shared ways of putting things into perspective these days. ‘Now, will I ring Connie and check that she hasn’t already eaten?’
‘Done, she hasn’t. She was just about to make herself scrambled egg. I said we’d be there in half an hour.’
I pulled up on the bike just ahead of Clodagh, and we trooped in with Pet
e wagging his tail, having already had a sniff of the food. Connie was in good form, which cheered us both up, and I regaled them with stories of my clients.
‘You’re perfect for that job,’ Connie told me. ‘You can sort out every aspect of their lives, practically. You’re a marvel.’
‘Thanks, but I’d really rather just deal with their pet problems.’ I laughed. ‘I think I was probably too encouraging when I met them all first, given that I was just starting off. Now if any of my new clients even mention their personal problems I hand out the number of a counsellor so fast they get whiplash. I’ve learned, believe me. Still, it’s nice having you two to talk to, especially you, Connie. You have the same outlook on life as Maddy.’
‘By the way, you just reminded me, Ronan O’Meara rang today to see how I was. He was asking about you.’
‘Gosh, he’s one person I’ve been meaning to ring.’ I quickly stuck a reminder on my phone. ‘How was he?’
‘OK, I think. He wondered if I’d seen much of you, and I told him you’d both been very good to me.’ She paused. ‘What was the story with him and Maddy? He just doesn’t seem her type somehow. He’s very deep.’
‘Well, I think they were just starting off, really,’ Clodagh told her. ‘And then things took off for her, which meant they didn’t really have a chance to get to know each other properly. That’s about all I know. Lou, you probably know more than I do, because you knew him first.’
‘No, that’s about the height of it. He’s had a tough time these past few years, so I think it suited him to take things slowly, to be honest. I don’t think even Maddy knew where they were headed, if anywhere.’
‘It’s just that I can’t get a handle on him, that’s all,’ Connie said. ‘It’s probably just me after all that’s happened. Anyway, tell me about Mike, he’s someone I’d like to know more about too. Any developments there?’
I filled her in on the Saturday invite. ‘So you see, I tried, but he didn’t take the bait.’ I shrugged.
‘I didn’t help either,’ Clodagh groaned. ‘Thanks to my stupidity, it’s a threesome.’
‘You know the first episode of Maddy’s show goes out on Saturday night?’ Connie asked.
‘No,’ we said together.
‘So soon?’ I was amazed. ‘Couldn’t they have delayed it? Is Maddy in it?’ But I knew she was.
‘They offered.’ Connie sighed. ‘The head producer or whatever they call him came around to see me. Very nice man. He wanted to see how I felt about it being shown. He assured me they wouldn’t do anything to upset me, but I told him to go ahead as planned. It’s what Maddy would have wanted. She would have insisted on it, in fact. And they have practically the whole of the first series recorded, he said. So I guessed it would throw out the entire schedule if it was delayed.’
My stomach was in a knot just thinking about watching it.
‘Mike mustn’t have known,’ I said to Clodagh.
‘Oh he did,’ Connie told us. ‘He phoned when the producer was here, actually. When I told him, he asked if I was sure I was up to it, then he offered to record it for me so that I could watch it later, but I told him I’d get the family around and we’d all see it together, that’s what she would have wanted.’
‘Maybe that’s why Mike invited us both over to his place – what do you think?’ I asked Clodagh.
‘Yeah, I’d say it is,’ she agreed.
We finished up shortly afterwards, having promised to be in touch with Connie before the weekend. Neither Clodagh nor I had much appetite for fish and chips really, although we were glad to see Connie tuck in with gusto. Saturday was another milestone looming for all of us.
Next morning, Emily rang, delighted she finally had the sister she’d always wanted. I urged caution because, as Katie had warned, I wouldn’t be betting she’d ever have her birth mother in her life. It was such a wasted opportunity and, in my book, that made Kitten the loser by a mile.
So far, the only outright winner I’d encountered seemed to be Denis Cassidy. I was just thinking about checking in with him when my phone rang.
‘Lulu, you’d better come quick. Bartholomew’s gone mad.’
‘That’s amazing, I was just about to ring you.’ I laughed. ‘What’s up?’
‘Can you come down? It’s like he’s on drugs or something, I’m telling you, he’s tearing around the garden, chasing his tail, wrestling with sticks. He’s practically turning cartwheels. And Joan and Catherine are coming for the day on Sunday, so I’m up to ninety. The last thing I need is him ruining it.’
Ah, so that was the problem. ‘Well, Dinny, I seem to recall that the reason you consulted me in the first place was because he was depressed, no?’ I tried to keep the smile out of my voice. ‘Remember the “male menopause in dogs” discussion we had?’
‘True, you’re not wrong, I have to give you that one.’ I could almost hear him scratching his head. ‘But sure now I’m thinking that was all in my head. I’d too much time to think, so I had. But now, well, there aren’t enough hours in the day. I’ve had new lino put down on the kitchen floor, I’ve bought a new fridge and a modern cooker – one of those hobs, would you believe? With a separate oven, grill, the lot. And I’m on my way into town now to buy new cushions and covers for the chairs. Throws, Mrs O’Sullivan at mass said they were called. But Lulu, I need your help. With the kitchen as well as the dog. All I want is for him to calm down. Could you give him an injection or something?’
‘Denis, I’m not a vet, of course I can’t give him a shot. Although, mind you, I think it’s you who needs to chill. Maybe a shot of something yourself. A drop of whiskey, perhaps?’
‘You’re a gas woman so you are.’ He laughed with me. ‘Look, will you help me one last time and pay me a visit before the weekend? I don’t care how much you charge me. In fact, whatever it is, I’ll double it. How’s that?’
‘OK, I’ll come.’ I flicked through the pages of my diary. ‘And I’ll only charge you the normal rate, otherwise I’ll have no luck.’ I laughed. ‘How does Friday at eleven sound?’
‘Fine, fine. Oh, by the way, could you pick up a load of flowers on the way? And a couple of vases to hold them? And if you could call into Marks and Spencer or one of those upmarket places and buy anything fancy they have to eat. Nibbles, I think they call them. I asked in the local shop could they order me some prawns in . . .’ He seemed to be reading from a list. ‘Prawns in filo pastry, whatever that is. And spring rolls.’ He guffawed. ‘As opposed to summer ones. Oh, and mini quiches, ham and cheese, that class of thing. But sure they’re still laughing at me. Mary Grimes said that the fanciest thing they had in stock was a tin of steak and kidney pie. She’d never even heard of a spring roll.’
‘Dinny, where on earth did you hear about them, never mind a country shopkeeper?’ I wanted to know.
‘On the telly, where else? That woman with the sexy voice who does the ads for Marks and Spencer. Sure you’d buy anything from her. I’ve been jotting down the names for weeks. Will you do it? You’d be getting me out of a very big hole, I can tell you. I can’t sleep worrying about what I’ll give them to eat.’
‘Why don’t you just bring them out for lunch?’ I enquired.
‘Sure of course I’m bringing them out for lunch. Haven’t I booked that very posh hotel in Newtownmountkennedy. No, this is for a snack after mass, I have to have a selection of stuff they’d be used to, fancy bits like they have in London.’
I gave up. ‘OK, but my fee has just trebled,’ I laughingly told him.
‘Anything, Lulu, anything, just help me out here.’
‘Would you like me to iron you a shirt while I’m there?’ I joked.
‘Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve a brand-new outfit so I have. And sure the cleaners are coming on Saturday morning, they’ll do that class of stuff. Goodbye now, Lulu, the gardener has just pulled up outside and Bart is giving him hell. I’ll see you on Friday.’
Well, at least I’ve one success story on my hands, I
thought, my mouth still open when I heard a click and realized he’d hung up. Once again, Denis Cassidy had rendered me speechless.
43
DURING THE COURSE OF THE WEEK I SET ABOUT CHECKING UP ON the rest of my original clients. It was something I’d tried to do even before the accident, but since Maddy’s death I’d been overwhelmed with paperwork and new clients and I’d neglected them. Thankfully, most of them had forced their way back in and dumped stuff on me, which had helped me as well as them, but I hadn’t spoken to Ronan O’Meara very much since the funeral, although we had been talking to each other’s voicemail several times. I decided to try him once more. I’d left a message when I got home the previous night but hadn’t heard back.
‘Lulu, I was just about to call you.’ He answered immediately. ‘I was in the North – in Derry – yesterday on business. I only got back late last night.’
‘I don’t suppose you came home via Donegal?’ I asked, referring to where his son lived. It would have been a detour, but not a major one, if my geography was right.
‘No,’ he said quietly, and I knew he was still hesitating. ‘Actually, I was hoping to talk to you about that. Would you have any time free today or tomorrow?’
‘I don’t. I’m sorry.’ I knew without looking at my diary that even squeezing in a trip to see Denis Cassidy had been pushing it. My accountant was due in on top of everything else and, as I’d already postponed it twice, cancelling wasn’t an option. ‘How about next week?’
‘I was hoping to meet you before then.’ He paused. ‘I wanted to see if you knew about Maddy’s show on Saturday?’
‘I do – I only found out from Connie last night. She said you’d been in touch. It’s nice of you to keep in contact, it means a lot,’ I told him.
‘Well, I know that watching the show will be hard for you, so I was wondering if perhaps you’d like to come and watch it with me and Myrtle?’
‘Would you believe, Mike has invited me and Clodagh to his house for dinner.’ I wondered if I should invite him too, but it wasn’t up to me really.