Because I Love You

by Amy Brent

  “That’s generous of you considering my tone yesterday. I’m sorry I suggested you’d told my daughter. I should know you’re more mature than that.”

  “You might want to save the generous remark for after you get my bill.” We shared a laugh and I gestured for him to have a seat on the sofa.

  He lowered himself and then pulled the pillow out from behind him. “I wish you had come to the gathering. There were several men your age there and I think you would have had a good time. The offer still stands and I’m hosting again this week.”

  “I appreciate that, but what makes you so sure that I should be interested in men my age. I can assure you that I younger men aren’t my preference.” Been there, done that. No I preferred my men much older; closer to his age than my own.

  His brows lifted and he stretched an arm across the back of the couch. “I’m sorry, though I feel it’s an honest mistake.”

  I shrugged and flashed a warm smile. “You’re absolutely right and it is quite a fair mistake, but I think it’s time to steer the conversation in its intended direction seeing that it’s your session.”

  “Ah, back to the diagnosis.” He shook his head and chuckled.

  “If you want to call it that, it could be fitting. I do think you have something that has been recognized as a disease.”

  “I can assure you I have no diseases.” His brows furrowed and he shifted in his seat.

  “That’s good to know, but I’m not talking about those types of diseases.” He dropped his hand from the back of the couch and brought it around front as if to hold himself together and I wondered if I’d made him angry as I continued. “Have you ever considered that you’re a sex addict?”

  The laughter belted from his depths and punched my ears. “That’s ridiculous. The fact that I enjoy sex doesn’t mean that I’m addicted. I’ve set boundaries and I follow them.”

  “Having boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t have an issue with sex, in fact it can mean that you’re bargaining as a way to justify having so much of it.”

  “I don’t have to have to justify wanting to fuck. I enjoy it, I’m good at it, and—

  I held my hand up. “There’s no need to defend your actions to me. I’m not judging you.”

  He leaned forward, red-faced with anger. “I’m not defending myself. I’m telling you how it is.” I stared at him blank-faced until he looked away. A soft curse fell from his lips as he took a few deep breaths.

  “I’m not here to judge, but I do think it’s important for you to admit that’s what’s going on with you.” I kept my voice monotone.

  “I’m not like some alcoholic or druggie. I can stop having sex, it isn’t the same.”

  “How do you know? What’s the longest you’ve gone without sex?”

  “I went two years when my wife was dying and shortly after her death.” He raked his hand through his hair and then glared out the window.

  “I don’t think you were an addict then. I think this is more recent. So tell me, recently how long have you gone without sex?”

  “I didn’t hook up after my party last week.” He threw both hands up like his statement had just proven his case and I was surprised to say the least.

  My brow furrowed with confusion. “You didn’t?” I thought that was the whole point of him hosting his group.

  “No. I didn’t. Care to know why?” His eyes were like daggers now, and I thought a moment before responding.

  “Yes. Why didn’t you?” I felt the lump hit my throat as I waited for his response.

  “Because I wanted you to show up and you didn’t. And then at the party you were all I could think about.”

  “Do you think that your preoccupation with me is because you consider me taboo?”

  “I don’t think you’re taboo. Society does. My daughter would. My peers would.”

  “I don’t believe that you care too much about what they all think. If you did you wouldn’t be participating in the parties and random hookups.”

  He shrugged. “That’s discreet.”

  I leaned in closer. “Anyone could out you at any time. But it is the most convenient outlet for your addiction, which is why you won’t give it up and why I don’t think too much about your limits and boundaries.”

  “So what do you make of me not fucking anyone else because I wanted you? I’ve not been exclusive since my wife’s death.”

  “Did you go without or did you simply find other ways of getting your release?”

  His jaw set tight and then he looked away before meeting my eyes like it was the most ridiculous question ever. “You’re asking me if I masturbated.” I nodded and he seemed offended. “So what if I did?”

  “It would prove that you didn’t go without a release. You found a way to get what you craved, what you’re truly addicted to and that’s the release.”

  He placed his hand to his chest and I noticed the bulk of his muscle beneath his button-down. “I’m not some chronic masturbator who can’t control his urges.”

  “I’m not saying you are. Not at all. I’m only pointing out that you seek release foremost.”

  “So what if it’s an addiction, there are worse things to be addicted to in life. I’m not some tweaking meth head.” His lip curled in disgust.

  “So you’re admitting that you have a problem?”

  “Why not, I’ve admitted much worse.” He gave me a grin.

  I crossed my legs and smoothed down my skirt. “Does it embarrass you to admit you wanted me?”

  He leaned in close, his eyes shining like white hot flames. “No, and there is no past tense there, Katherine. I want you. If only you knew what went through my mind as I worked my cock thinking about you.” A pulsing ache burned deep in my core and I wanted him too.

  “Do you think that you shock me, Mr. Roberts?”

  He chuckled. “I don’t think it bothers you one tiny bit other than making you burn with desires I want to quench.”

  “You’re sure of yourself.” I tried to calm my panting, but my chest rose and fell to betray me.

  “You want to know what I thought of while I stroked my hard cock, I thought of you watching me for that ten minutes while I buried myself deep inside the woman on my veranda. I thought about what you did after that.” My face burned with blush and he smiled in satisfaction that he’d gotten to me. “Does that make you uncomfortable, Katherine?”

  “Not at all.” I lifted my chin defiantly and clenched my core tight. It ached with need, crying out for the attention I needed from him. I wondered what was left of his shredded boundaries.

  He stood and crossed the room only to stop at the door where he turned and stared me dead in the eyes. “Liar.” The words fell from his lips, not like an accusation, but like a challenge.

  Chapter 13: Grant

  Sylvie had decided not to miss another gathering and I was doing my best to deter her when my doorbell sounded, announcing another visitor. After doing a headcount, I knew it could only be one person and when I opened the door and found Katherine standing with her back to me, as if contemplating second thoughts, I drank her in. She looked amazing in the wine colored dress and heels and when she spun around, her face flushed, and her hair blowing in the gentle breeze her eyes sparkled as she smiled.

  “Hope you were serious about that invite.”

  The blood flowed to my cock and I took her hand and led her to the small table in the foyer where I had placed a few NDAs for last minute guests. She signed without issue and left her cell phone in the depository and then I led her into the house where the others sat making conversation and sipping wine. She seemed relieved that everyone had their clothes on and I caught the sound of her relaxing breath. “Not what you expected?” I grinned.

  “Thankfully, no.” She squeezed my hand and I brought her to the couch with me where Sylvie had made herself at home for the previous hour.

  “Yet, you came.” I sat beside her with Sylvie to my right and she wasted no time introducing herself to Katherin
e.

  “You’re a new face. I’m Sylvie, good to meet you.” There was more venom in her voice than honey and I imagined she’d have enough sense to be good considering she was already standing on shaky ground.

  “I’m Katherine.” She gave her warmest smile and then glanced around the room as the others welcomed her. The men especially took interest and the women all but Sylvie kept a mature attitude.

  Gregory, who was one of the oldest members and an old friend of mine, came over to greet her taking her by the hand and planting his lips across her soft knuckles. She blushed, and I knew it didn’t escape her that she was being sized up.

  “I see you’ve been hoarding the good wine for yourself?” Greg lifted his glass but I knew damned well he meant Katherine.

  “She’s simply an observer.” I said quietly. Greg’s gaze drank her in from head to toe and back again and then he stepped away and went to sit across the room.

  Katherine stiffened beside me and then leaned in close until her breath was tickling my ear. “I know that woman, the one across the room in the blue.” My eyes searched out who she spoke of and I was surprised to see Willa sitting near Greg in a tight blue dress.

  My curiosity was piqued especially since it was obvious that Willa hadn’t spoken to Katherine and now seemed to be trying to duck out of her line of sight. We weren’t a private group who wore masks, but other than our nondisclosure agreements, we really didn’t try to hide our identities. One person’s reputation was as valuable as the others as we were an elite group of people.

  Katherine’s cheeks reddened. “I’m sorry, it’s probably bad form to admit that.”

  “Not at all. I find it particularly interesting. How do you know her?”

  “She’s the dean’s daughter at mine and Halle’s college. I’ve known her for years. She used to come to the school and try to get us to join her sorority.” She kept her voice low, but I could tell that Sylvie was on alert.

  My blood turned cold. She was the snitch, it had to be. I’d turned Willa down because of her age, but she’d lied about knowing Halle. Something she’d been asked specifically, and now Halle would know that Katherine had attended my party too. Perhaps I could use that to my advantage, but only because my daughter would trust Katie over Willa any day of the week. I wondered how much the girl had blabbed. Her behavior was more toxic to our group than even Sylvie’s and this time there would be no reprieve. She was one of Greg’s invites, and I’d make sure before the next meeting, she was properly dealt with.

  Greg tapped his glass moments later grabbing my attention. “It’s time we do a draw, so all of those who want to be in, now is the time.” He shook a large bowl that had been sitting in the middle of the room and Sylvie looked at me. I knew she was waiting to see what I was going to do and about that time Greg came to stand in front of me.

  “I know the lady is only an observer this week, but do you want in the draw?” He cocked his brow and waited for my response.

  “No, I’ll be sitting out to attend my guest.” I kept my eye on Willa as I spoke and her eyes widened and she shot a daggered look in my direction. It was a strange response for someone with no issues.

  Sylvie swelled up beside me and tossed her coin into the dish. “I’m in this week.” She cut me a hard glare as if to wound me. She’d mistaken my kindness for caring. Another problem that needed solved.

  Greg smiled as Sylvie joined and then made his way around the room until it was time to draw and then they paired off.

  Sylvie ended up with Greg and flashed me a cold stare as she headed out with him. The other couples took their leave and I watched as Willa, our youngest participant, left with Xavier, our oldest. At sixty, he was almost as fit as I was and he was old enough to be her grandfather.

  Two other pairs were chatting in the center of the room, trying to bargain a foursome, which was perfectly within our rules, as long as everyone agreed. The other group was our only threesome, since I’d sat out to be with Katherine, and they were giving us all an early preview of what was to come.

  It wasn’t uncommon for a group to start things before they left and we never minded since we found it enticing. We were all exhibitionists in our own right, some more than others. Lana gripped Beau’s rigid cock through his pants and kissed Melissa who was purring like a kitten. I glanced over to see Katherine watching without emotion, as if she were a child looking into a fishbowl.

  I smiled and leaned in closer to see things from her perspective and she giggled. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to gawk, it’s just fascinating that they are so free with it all.”

  “It’s okay to watch. In case you haven’t noticed, they want you to see everything. And I’m sure if you wanted, they’d let you watch the entire act.”

  She released a long breath. “I’ll pass, thanks.” She tugged at the front of her blouse and then shifted in her seat, turning to face me as she hooked her arm with mine. “This wasn’t half as naughty as I thought it would be.”

  “Think of it as the social gathering where everyone has the same intentions of how the night will end. You won’t get that in any random bar, and besides, the drinks are free.”

  “I guess I didn’t see it that way.” She turned to watch the trio who were now pawing their way into each other’s clothes. Beau had his hand working Melissa and I wondered how many fingers he’d put to use. “I’d guess it’s a much safer environment.”

  “Much safer. And you’d not likely get this kind of floor show.” I smiled seeing her eyes widen even further as Lana took down Beau’s zipper. “We can step outside if you like. Go to a different room? I have a feeling things are about to be more to your original expectations in another few seconds.”

  “Sounds like you might be right.” She stood and took my hand and as we stepped outside she walked over to the table where I’d been with Sylvie.

  “Are you going to answer my burning question?” I stepped up behind her and rested my hands on her arms.

  “I recognized her, you know. That Sylvie lady that introduced herself. She’s the one you had splayed out on this table.

  “She is. Does it bother you?”

  “No, not at all. And to answer your question I did think about it after.”

  “And what did you do, Katherine, while you thought about it?”

  “I found my release.” She stared deep into my eyes. “How about your limits, Mr. Roberts?” I closed the space and captured her lips as her arms went around my neck.

  To hell with limits. I kissed down her throat and cupped her breast as I hitched her up against the table.

  She glanced down to it and then met my eyes. “Will you walk me home?”

  “Give me a moment to say goodbye to my guests?” She nodded and I led her inside to find that our trio was leaving and the foursome had come to an agreement.

  Chapter 14: Katie

  I was surprised that we hadn’t found his friends in the middle of a sex pile when we went back in to say our farewells. As luck would have it they were all on their way out and it was only minutes later that Grant took my hand to walk me home.

  I unlocked the door as he waited on the bottom step and then I turned and motioned in him. He gave me a quizzical look. “I wasn’t sure you’d want me to come inside. I thought maybe you had second thoughts like you did at that zip line.”

  I realized he’d misread my request to be walked home. In truth, I couldn’t get the thought of him out of my mind. The way he’d been so in control of his lover and her pleasure was more than I’d ever had with the vanilla sex I’d grown used to with my old boyfriend. I wanted a partner who was about pleasing me as much as themselves, and I’d always imagined an older man, one with experience, could get the job done.

  I took a deep breath and stepped closer. “Guess I should have been more direct. I’m ready to jump. I’ve always felt terrible that I backed out on you that day.” I stepped inside and led him past my office to the living room with the ugly rug.

  “You’re more
than making up for it now.” He pulled me to a halt and kissed me, his hands capturing my face and his body pressing closer.

  I caught my breath and pulled away. “Are you sure you want this?”

  “I’m certain that I want you. Are you?” He pressed his knee between my legs and I ground against him, feeling the thickness of his erection. I raised my hand and gripped it through his pants, as he sucked a breath through his teeth and bent forward to kiss my neck. “Tell me, Katherine.”

  “Yes, I’m sure. I’ve wanted you since I saw you on the veranda. I want you to take me like that.” Gooseflesh prickled down my neck as he breathed near my ear and walked me backward to my leather couch where we sat facing each other.