Because I Love You

by Amy Brent

  Blythe and Harbor laughed so much on the way home from the zoo, and as soon as they got inside, Blythe asked if Harbor would tuck her in and read her a story. Harbor gave her a tickle and told her she’d be right up.

  As I walked upstairs, Blythe followed in my footsteps. “Daddy, is Harbor my new mommy?” I stopped on the landing and scooped her up.

  “No, she’s not your new mommy.” I wondered for a moment if Lucinda or Harbor had said something to her. “Why do you ask?”

  I carried her to her room and sat her in the rocking chair her mother had bought when she was pregnant with her. She shrugged her little shoulders and stared up at mine with those gray eyes. “Harbor lives with us like a mommy, and she loves me like a mommy does.” I let out a long breath and didn’t know how to respond. Legally, Harbor was her stepmother, but I hadn’t planned on that being a permanent thing.

  “Well, she’s not.” I reached for her shoe to slip it off, but she kicked her foot and squished her face tight.

  “I want Harbor to do it.” She met my eyes with a challenging glare as Harbor walked into the room. “I want Harbor to be my mommy!” She took off like a shot and ran to grab hold of Harbor’s legs. “Will you read my story when I’m in the bath?” She ran to get her book as I rose to stand upright.

  “I didn’t say a word, I swear.” I believed her.

  “You two have gotten closer, so I suppose it’s only natural.” I put my hands in my pockets and watched as Blythe looked through her bookshelves for her nightly pick.

  “We need to talk about this; about us. I’ve given you more time, but we have to figure out what we’re going to do.” It seemed that both of my girls were defiant that day.

  “Don’t keep her up too late.” I didn’t want to deal with things, and so I bailed. It might have been a coward move, but I couldn’t get into it now, or I’d say something I regretted. My own daughter had chosen her over me, and I couldn’t help but be a bit upset about it.

  I walked downstairs and went to my office. Then I milled around there for another hour until the doorbell rang. I let out another long breath and went to the door.

  My eyes widened when I opened the door to find Tana on the other side. Leave it to her not to call first. I hadn’t seen her in a long time, but she looked as ready as ever. She rushed me and kissed my cheek as she gave me a hug. “Hello, Evan. I’m sorry to barge in, but I was just down the road when I realized how long it’s been and I was hoping Blythe would be in bed now so we could play.” She stepped forward and leaned on me.

  “You can’t be here.” I tried to politely lead her away toward the door, but then she jerked away.

  “I want to talk about us. I’m good with the sexual relationship. I’ve had plenty of time to think—

  I spun around to see what she was looking at, at what had made Tana’s eyes go wild with fury and found Harbor clutching her chest.

  “Evan, who is this?” Tana cleared her throat and glared at Harbor.

  I figured there was no need sugar coating anything, and with Tana, it was best to be blunt. “She’s my wife, Harbor. Harbor, this is Blythe’s former nanny, Tana.”

  “And your former girlfriend until a month ago,” she added.

  “A month ago?” Harbor narrowed her eyes, and I shook my head and crossed the room toward her.

  “Not a month.” I glared back at Tana, the troublemaker. “I haven’t seen her since a week before we got married.”

  “That’s not true. I wouldn’t believe him. He plays the same games with everything. I guess I got a bit too old for his tastes.” She turned and stalked out leaving me alone to try and sort out the mess she left in her wake.

  “You broke the deal. You were with that woman.” Harbor searched my eyes and though I could tell she wasn’t entirely sure she was too pissed off and hurt to stick around to listen.

  “I didn’t.”

  “What does it matter? The deal is almost over, and you don’t want me. You’ll send me away and replace me. That was the plan. I can’t believe I fell in love with you.” She turned and walked away leaving me there fuming at Tana and angry that Harbor wouldn’t believe me.

  She stormed back upstairs, and I ran after her. I tried not to shout and wake up Blythe, but I needed Harbor to know I was serious. “I didn’t cheat with her. You have to trust me, Harbor.”

  “Take your trust and shove it. I’ve given you everything, and all you’re hung up on is that stupid bargain. This whole thing was a mistake.”

  The words stung more than she’d probably meant them to, but I wasn’t going to break down. “Maybe you’re right.”

  She went stone still as the tears ran down her face, and then she grabbed her bag and a few things and headed to the door.

  I wasn’t content to let her leave. “You’re not going anywhere, Harbor. Get your ass back here this minute.”

  “I’m done letting you control me. You might control my pleasure, but you don’t control my heart. You use your wife as an excuse to keep us from getting serious, but you're hurting your daughter more this way, by denying her someone she already loves. But you know what, I get it. You don’t love me. You never will.”

  She went to the door, and I grabbed her arm. “If you have to leave let me at least put you up in a hotel room.”

  “Not on your life. I’m done letting you take care of me. It’s killing me.” She turned and stalked toward the door and when she opened it, I saw a car already pulling into the drive, it’s headlights blinding me.

  “Who is that? Your boyfriend?” I wanted a reason to be mad at her, but it wasn’t working. I was watching her go, and there wasn’t a damned thing I could do about it.

  “It’s Lucinda. I called her from upstairs. She’s giving me a ride. Don’t take it out on her.” I wasn’t going to take it out on her even though I had to admit I wasn’t happy.

  “I’m not, but let me take you and check you in somewhere.” The thought of her leaving and me not being able to know where she’s at was really getting to me. “I need to know you’re safe.”

  “Whatever. This is no different than me leaving in June, so it’s a little late to start giving a shit now.”

  “I do give a shit. I fucking care, or I wouldn’t be involved with you at all.” I closed the distance between us slowly hoping she wouldn’t leave before I could get to her.

  “Don’t make this out to be more than it is. You had to be involved with me. But I’m the stupid one. You made me love you, and you couldn’t even claim me as your wife, no. Not until you needed to use it to get rid of your girlfriend. Never again.” She slammed the door so hard that the picture well off the wall beside it and crashed to the floor.

  I had a mind to call Lucinda to work, but I decided not to be a dick about it. I could be bitter, but the truth is I had messed it all up.

  She’d all but begged me to make it permanent but I’d been too scared. Now she had left, and I had to face what it would be like if I never saw her again. I wasn’t sure I could do that. My world without her was bleak, and then worst of all I was going to have to wake up Blythe and tell her that the woman she loves as a mother just walked out and left her; another mommy gone. I was so pissed at Harbor for leaving me with that, but at the same time, I just wanted her back.

  I wondered where she was going and if Lucinda had taken her to a hotel or back home to her house. There was a storm building outside, and I hoped she didn’t go too far. I thought for a moment, contemplating how to figure it out. I could wait a bit and drive by, but then I couldn’t go search every hotel in the area so easily.

  Suddenly I remembered something and snapped my fingers. I’d added a GPS to Harbor’s cell phone in case something happened while she and Blythe were out together. All I had to do was pull it up, and I’d be able to see exactly where she’d gone. I wasn’t going to let her get away so easily.

  I couldn’t believe Tana, and I couldn’t blame Harbor for believing her. Then I’d used our marriage against her too, just like Harbor
had said. I couldn’t admit it any other time, but when it served my purpose.

  I had to find her. I went to the living room and found my phone where I’d left it on the coffee table. I turned it on and found the app, and sure enough, there was Harbor. I’d wait until she got settled in where she was going, and then I’d get Lucinda to watch Blythe while I was gone.

  I had to have her back. I realized now what I’d been denying all this time. I was in love with Harbor Moore. And though I’d tried to deny it, and was certain I’d stick with the word of the contract and let her go, I needed her in my life. We both did. She’d been the best thing for both of us.

  I decided to go upstairs and get the contract off of my dresser. I wanted to bring the scrap of paper with me. I needed to destroy it in front of her.

  Chapter 18: Harbor

  By the time I found a decent hotel I was soaked from the rain and had splashed in so many puddles that I had ruined my favorite shoes. It didn’t matter, Evan had bought them, and I didn’t want a damned thing from him.

  I checked in and made my way upstairs hoping that Lucinda would keep her word and not tell him where she’d brought me. I needed time to think and to figure out what I was going to do and where I’d go next. It wasn’t like I could live in the hotel and I was sure that before long, he’d cut off my credit card he’d set up for me and I’d be left with what little money I had before, which wasn’t much.

  When I got to my room, I closed the door and leaned back against it. The headache I had building was a killer, and I needed to sleep. I’d had a long day with the family, his family, and Blythe had worn me out. I felt horrible for leaving the way I did, and I hoped that she wouldn’t be too upset. I knew better. She was going to be just as devastated as I was, if not more. This wasn’t my doing though. It was her father’s. It was inevitable anyway. I’d just ripped off the bandage a little sooner.

  I stripped off my clothes and shoes and tossed them in the corner of the bathroom, I only brought one change, and I let out a sigh when I realized I’d have to send for my things. Maybe Lucinda would help me out there as well. She’d been a good friend, and I really hoped that Evan wouldn’t take things out on her. He should thank her really, if he truly cares at least, Lucinda helped me out. I’d have left anyway, even if I had to walk and his home was miles from the hotel district.

  I headed for the shower still thinking of Blythe. She would wake up and look for me. It was her usual routine since I’d come along and then I’d help her pick out her clothes for the day and brush her hair. Then we’d go downstairs and watch cartoons until time for Lucinda to come and take over while I headed to work and her father did whatever he did while on call at the hospital.

  I thought of the other woman. She had claimed that they had been together in the time since our arrangement, but what stuck with me more than that was how she said that he’d played this game before. Was she another bargain? He’d introduced her as his former nanny, which means that she was the woman who’d lived there before Lucinda came months earlier. It was all still new and fresh, especially to Blythe. For someone who didn’t want to put his daughter through this kind of drama, who’s been so hesitant to let me in, he’d given in to my condition with a little push. I could look at that one of two ways, either he was really into me and didn’t know how to deal with it, or he didn’t really care about anything as long as he got his way.

  I fell in love with him because he’d taken such good care of me and the two of us had fun together even outside of the bedroom. I saw us a perfectly happy family when we’d all go out together, and things seemed so normal you’d never think there was a deadline ahead, a stopping point that would take it all away. But each time I’d mention what we would do, he’d get upset and remind me of my words, of my commitment, and how I had wanted to make the contract and sign it. He hadn’t hesitated to agree and go along with it and the only reason I had been so adamant about having one was so he wouldn’t leave me in the end after uprooting my life to save his.

  I stepped into the shower and hoped it would wash away the pain and stress of the day. I tried to focus on the task at hand and not think about it for a while, but I couldn’t stop seeing Blythe and Evan, him spinning her around and kissing her then reaching for me to pull me in close to them both. He’d done that the very day I’d met her and been so happy that we’d hit it off. How could not want that now? How could he throw it away to be with another woman?

  I’d let him have control over our sexual escapades, mostly because it had always been so intense and amazing, but I couldn’t help wonder if I hadn’t been enough.

  I was going to have to sleep if I wanted to rest my mind. As long as I was awake, I’d be worrying about everything and kicking myself for walking out on them. I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. After drying off and wrapping my hair in a towel, I wrapped another towel around me and headed for my bag which I’d left on the bed.

  I didn’t see him until I caught a glimpse of someone behind me in the mirror. I gasped and turned around so fast I stumbled and nearly fell over my own feet. He sat in the chair blank-faced with the contract on his knee.

  I crossed my arms and glared down at him. “Lucinda?”

  “No, she’s with Blythe, but I found you all on my own.” He held up his cell phone, and I could see the GPS image. He’d tracked me. Dammit. I should have known.

  “You don’t have to worry about the contract. I’m filing for the annulment this week, so you’re good to do whatever. Maybe you can find your girlfriend and work things out.” A large lump stuck in my throat as I imagined him with the other woman.

  “Tana used to be my nanny. I had a fling with her long before we ever met, and I ended it then. I’ve not been with her. She likes to cause trouble.” He folded the paper that was across his knee and then ripped it in half. “I’m not interested in your contract, either. I wanted to come talk about you coming home before Blythe wakes up and you’re gone.”

  “Graduation is a week away, and I’m going to be gone in June anyway. So, she’ll deal with it a tad earlier than you expected, at least you’ll get your way.” I lifted my chin defiantly, and he got to his feet and approached. I didn’t move. I wasn’t intimidated by him. If there was one thing I knew for certain, he’d never physically hurt me.

  “You’re coming home. Like I said, I’m done with your fucking contract and prepared to deal. I can’t promise you a perfect relationship. I’m not sure what I want, other than you in my life. So, get your shit and let’s go.” He gestured toward my bag.

  “No. I’m not going until you tell me what I can expect.” I crossed my arms and shifted on my feet, but he wasn’t having it. He stepped forward and grabbed my hand, pulling me off balance, so I fell into his arms.

  “I want you home. It’s not open for negotiations. I need a bit more time and considering everything I don’t think that’s unreasonable.” His tone was soft and by the time he’d finished talking his lips were a breath from mine. He closed the short distance and kissed me. “We’ll work it out, but I need time, and I’m not going to want you away from me.”

  “Then tell me you’re ready to commit!” The words snapped from my lips and his eyes widened, wild and feral.

  Suddenly I was off my feet kicking and screaming, but then I was over his knee on the bed with my towel hiked up to display my bare ass. His hand came down hard against it, sending a delightful pleasure straight to my core. “That’s for not listening.” Then his voice was right in my ear as he leaned down. “I know you’re still hot for it. Tell me.”

  I glanced away, but his hand came down hard once again. “Yes.”

  “That’s a good girl. You’re going to behave and come home where you want to be, and I said we’d work it out, but only in my time.” I nodded, trying to keep the pout from my full lips.

  I could feel his hard cock pressing into my side, and my core ached for him. It had only been about twelve hours since our last encounter, but it with our fight i
t felt like forever.

  He lifted me up and then laid across the bed with me as he lay me back kissing me full and deep. He kissed me with hunger as if he’d never get enough of my lips and I spread my legs and wrapped them around his waist. I locked my ankles grinding against him. My towel fell open exposing my nudity. He feasted on my breasts, planting kisses on them and teasing my nipples with his tongue. Then he stood up, and I came forward and undid his pants. I couldn’t wait to get to what was inside, and as familiar as I was, it never ceased to amaze me. I couldn’t get enough of the sight of him or the feel.

  I sprang his cock free, and instead of lying back to wait for it, I took it in my hand right then and there, kissing along his shaft and letting my tongue roll across his veiny flesh. As he stroked my hair, my tongue teased his tip, and then I closed my mouth around his head and took him to the back of my throat. I closed my eyes and moaned on his cock, the vibrations coaxing a bit of his nectar which hit my tongue. I swallowed it down, pulling his cock even farther down my throat as he started to pump his hips slowly.