The Lost Sister (Sister Series, #8)

by Leanne Davis

  “Can you close the place? And pick up Wyatt from school? Take him home? Don’t tell him.” Ryder was speaking to Tara without an ounce of feeling or acknowledgment in his tone. He seemed as if he didn’t even realize she was Tara.

  Tara started taking her apron off and used it to wipe her eyes, nodding. “Of course, to all of it. I’ll just act normal around Wyatt. I promise, Ryder. I’ll just act normal.”

  He nodded before turning back to Chloe. Taking her shoulders, he eased her down onto a chair and didn’t glance at Tara again. Tara eyed Chet, who was watching them with his own heartbroken expression.

  Tara went out into the dining room. “I’m sorry folks, but there’s been an emergency, and I’m afraid we have to close the café early.” For once, Tara found strength in her voice and managed to speak over everyone. She gave each diner a to-go box and issued several handwritten IOU’s. A haphazard and unusual solution, but all she could come up with on the spot. “I’m sorry, it’s… I’m afraid it’s really bad. Here’s your meal, it’s on the house, and a coupon for another free meal on us to compensate for all the inconvenience.”

  Finally, after ten minutes, the café cleared out and Tara put the Closed sign over the door. She dutifully turned off all the lights and the neon Open sign before leaning against the front door, her stomach aching with pain.

  “Tara?”

  She jumped at hearing Ryder’s deep voice and whipped around, hoping he needed her now. She could comfort him. But he simply said, “Here. Take the keys. I’ll drive Chloe’s car home.”

  Tara caught the keys. Right. Duh. She had no wheels to pick up Wyatt and drive him home. She nodded. “Ryder? I’m…”

  He shook his head rather dismissively and ran both his hands through his hair. “Just, please take care of Wyatt. That’s the best thing you can do for me right now.”

  She nodded and her heart started pumping harder. She wanted to dive into his arms and hold him, as well as kiss and hug him, but he turned from her and went back into the kitchen. Tara left to get his son from school.

  The truck was unfamiliar to Tara and it felt like driving a damn tank. Her hands sweated with anxiety. She had little driving experience. She doubted Ryder knew that, much less that she had no license. This was not the time to mention it either. She safely arrived at Wyatt’s school. She had to wait another half hour before they got out. Sitting in the parking lot, she waved at Wyatt and his teacher and Wyatt swiftly recognized her. He approached his dad’s truck and burst into a huge smile when he realized Tara was driving.

  “Tara. I didn’t know you were going to get me today.”

  “Hi, Wyatt. How was school?”

  “So bad. Torrance. Do you know what she did?”

  “No, what did she do?” Tara asked while she backed out of the parking spot and started driving towards Ryder’s house.

  “She totally lied. She said that she knows the President of the United States. I know that’s not true because my dad told me she’s never been out of Silver Springs before.” Tara listened to him, nodding and smiling even though her heart wasn’t into it, much less her mind. Oh, Wyatt. The poor child. His mother was dead. Murdered. How did one deal with such an awful reality? How could Ryder tell Wyatt what happened? Her brain started tripping up at the words he should use to convey the gruesome circumstances. Tara could not comprehend how she would go about telling this sweet, smiling, joyful child such tragic news. Her throat constricted and fresh tears filled up her eyelids, eager to escape. She breathed in harder, trying to keep everything in check. Her task today, right now, was to simply take care of Wyatt. Make him believe that all was normal. And that was it. That was all Ryder asked her to do. He deserved so much more after what he discovered today. She would do that for him in a heartbeat. She could provide all the smiles and friendly interaction to Wyatt, whose mother was found dead today. Tara knew she was strong and reliable enough to do that for Ryder and she eagerly hoped to prove it.

  Once they were home, Wyatt ran inside the house and threw his backpack down before rifling through the cabinets for his afternoon snack. When he popped out with a candy bar and a package of string cheese, Tara didn’t say anything, but indulged him. He asked to go outside and they spent a good hour playing together, walking through the woods with Wyatt darting everywhere. Using a stick, Wyatt pretended it was a sword and he dueled with all the bushes as they went along. Stopping at a high swing made of rope, Tara pushed Wyatt as he squealed in delight. Once inside the house again, they played their favorite board games, always the ones that Wyatt chose. Eventually, Tara cooked some rice, chicken, and sauce with some mixed vegetables on the side. Her stomach was roiling in knots and she couldn’t eat.

  Finally, at nearly seven o’clock, headlights swept over the front of the house. Ryder. He was home at last. Tara’s nerves climbed up her throat. She couldn’t focus on what Wyatt was saying. Her ears were ringing when Ryder’s footsteps hit the porch and the door burst open.

  His eyes were red-rimmed and he looked harried. His usually unruly hair had become a tangled mess after his hands kept combing through it. He stared at her, his mouth tight-lipped with no visible reaction. Wyatt jumped up and ran towards Ryder, hugging his legs as if it were the first time Ryder ever left him. Leaning over, Ryder picked him up and hugged Wyatt’s small body to his chest. Tears filled Tara’s eyes and blurred her vision. The magnitude of their loss, and seeing Ryder desperately gripping Wyatt despite his regret, left her breathless in the face of such a tragic situation. She felt grief. It wasn’t hers, but her empathy towards Ryder and that of his son.

  Ryder’s hand, so big and dear to Tara, smoothed over his son’s small back. The contrast of his bigness and Wyatt’s smallness, along with Ryder’s white skin beside Wyatt’s dark skin, his maturity and Wyatt’s youth, and Ryder’s heavy grief intermingled with Wyatt’s happy, childish squeaking and giggles, nearly made Tara’s knees collapse while observing it.

  It wasn’t fair.

  Not that Wyatt lost his mother and Ryder his wife. But because all this time, he kept blaming Ebony for leaving them.

  Tara could read the guilt that was etched into Ryder’s face. She didn’t know what it meant for him and her. And right this moment, she wondered where her place was now in his life.

  She slowly stood up off the stool she was sitting on to play checkers with Wyatt. Wyatt was back on his feet with his hand in Ryder’s, who was tugging him forward. He hadn’t picked up on his father’s hesitation or sadness.

  Ryder came closer. She licked her lips and met his gaze. “Is… is everything…” Damn it. She had no idea what to say. Is everything okay? Obviously, not. But what else should she say? “I mean, did you get…” She nearly let out a frustrated groan. Usually about now, Ryder would speak for her, grinning and putting his hand behind her neck to pull her forward in a hug, or kissing her head, easily amused at her tongue-tied efforts. She often got flustered with him. So often, she felt unsure and Ryder was first to make her feel more comfortable, less timid, while encouraging her to say whatever she was worried about saying. He gave her the courage to voice her feelings and things that were hard for her to express.

  Now? He just stared at her. Blankly. She licked her lips and drew in a deep breath. “I should go.”

  He nodded, his gaze completely vacant. He didn’t tell her to stay. Always before, he had asked her not to leave. After thanking her repetitively for her help with Wyatt, Ryder usually tucked her against him, asking about her day as well as Wyatt’s. Tara didn’t realize until now how much he facilitated the conversation, making it easy between the three of them. Without it, and without him, she felt like excess baggage and totally uncomfortable.

  “But… I… I can’t actually drive. I don’t have a driver’s license.”

  His eyebrows rose in astonishment. “How did I not know that?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, you must’ve realized I never drove anywhere.”

  His gaze pierced hers and his frown seemed exagge
rated. He was in no mood to deal with anything so trivial. She licked her lips when his sharp retort surprised her. She rubbed her hands against her thighs. She could only imagine if he realized how much he didn’t know… Shaking her head, she tried to banish the guilt. Not now. It wasn’t the proper time. Not after he just found out the mother of his child had been murdered. The wife he once loved was dead.

  He might still have loved her now that his anger towards her was unfounded. No, she didn’t abandon him and Wyatt. Would he realize that and still love her? What… what did that mean for their relationship?

  She hated how selfish that sounded. But it was all she could think of as she stared up at him. His tired eyes. His distance. Worst of all, his unfocused gaze.

  Wyatt bounced between them. “Guess what?”

  Ryder didn’t answer him in his usual way. His eyes landed on her again. “Just… please just stay. I don’t feel like going out again.”

  She nodded, and her shoulders slumped. It wasn’t out of his need for her. She thought perhaps he might need her, or want her, or lean on her shoulder to fall apart. But no, he was too tired to face driving her home.

  “Daaa…ddy…!” Wyatt’s voice squeaked high as he dragged out his dad’s name. Ryder glanced down.

  “Sorry, what?”

  “I got a loose tooth.”

  He patted his head. “That’s good, Wyatt. Good job.”

  Tara found it odd to hear Ryder speaking without an ounce of caring or interest to Wyatt.

  “Are you hungry?” Tara asked as he passed her. He opened the kitchen cabinet above his head and took out a glass.

  “No.” He pulled out a bottle of booze. Tara wasn’t sure what kind it was. He filled it halfway up before lifting it to his lips and drinking liberally.

  He carried the glass and bottle with him, walking past her and into the living room. She followed behind him, frowning at his wide, stiff back.

  “I should tell him,” Ryder said to the room in general and not really addressing her in particular. His soft statement made her breath hitch and all of her selfish, pitiable thoughts fled. Wyatt was rapt up with his small cars and lost in his own world. Ryder shook his head, staring down at him.

  “Maybe… maybe you should tell me too. I mean, about what happened.”

  Ryder froze, his gaze still riveted on Wyatt. His shoulders stayed stiff. He rose in a slow movement. Tara sat down on the ottoman across from him and hugged her knees. “You haven’t said a word to me. What’s going on, Ryder? I only know because I eavesdropped on you and Chloe. Talk to me. Please.”

  Tossing back the rest of the drink, Ryder set the glass down. He poured another one and swirled the liquid mechanically, swishing it up and down the sides of his glass. “I found my wife today. Dead. Murdered, actually. And yet I divorced her and bad-mouthed her for years. What do you want from me?” His gaze landed on her. Deadpan. “Not really in the mood to find a way to make you come tonight.”

  Tara’s mouth dropped open. He had never once spoke to her with such sarcasm. Or rudeness. She instantly recalled her entire childhood and listening to her father and her younger brother talking like that to her. Rude. Crass. She was always the butt of their jokes or vulgar statements.

  She knew he was hurting. And why he was lashing out. She realized he probably felt guilty having her there as a girlfriend while thinking he had betrayed his wife.

  She got up and started to pass him. His hand snaked out and grabbed her wrist. She paused, staring forward, deliberately not looking at him. Neither of them moved or spoke for a long moment.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Her heart shattered at his solemn tone. He let her go and kept his gaze focused down. “Stay… please.”

  She slowly backed up and dropped down again. That seemed like all he was capable of right now. He wanted her to stay there but he didn’t want her close to him. It was an odd and unprecedented dynamic for them.

  “Wyatt. Come here,” he finally said after a long sigh. He rubbed a hand through his hair, shaking his head but determined to proceed. Wyatt jumped up and ran over. “Sit down, son.” Ryder’s voice cracked as he said the word son.

  Wyatt finally picked up on the not-so-subtle undertones. His brown eyes grew more concerned and his eyebrows furrowed. “Yes, Daddy?”

  “Son… remember when I told you, your mommy had to leave… here, because she just had some other stuff to do? She loved you but she couldn’t be here any longer?”

  “Yup,” Wyatt said, his voice so quiet and innocent in its tone.

  “Well… see, Wyatt, the thing is… I found her today.”

  Wyatt’s head perked up and he clapped his hands together as if he were about to pray. “Really?”

  Tara’s heart nearly cracked in two. Tears streamed down her face and she had to turn her eyes away from them. She squeezed her fists to concentrate on her strength.

  “Yes. She’s… I’m afraid she’s dead, Wyatt. Do you know what that means?”

  Tara saw Wyatt’s head nod and his eyes grew very big. He glanced up at his dad, and his confusion was obvious. Ryder’s eyes were rimmed with tears.

  “It means,” Wyatt mumbled, “that she’s in heaven now. Right? She’s with God. And Nana Pearson.”

  Tara had no idea who Nana Pearson was, but Ryder was obviously choked up. He grabbed Wyatt and pulled him against his chest. “Yes, son. She’s in heaven now with God and Nana.”

  Tara had no idea if Ryder were religious. She had never heard him say and they had never discussed it. He sure as heck hadn’t gone to church in the time she’d known him. He clutched Wyatt closer to him, kissing the top of his head, resting his cheek against Wyatt’s bald little head. Wyatt stayed pressed against his chest and Tara’s tears nearly choked her. Using her shirt to blot them, she wrapped her arms around her legs, curling into a ball as she watched Ryder and Wyatt. It was so wrong. Sad. Heartbreaking. Wyatt didn’t know Ebony. He had no recollection whatsoever, yet he knew he was supposed to be sad. He glanced her way and she smiled a tremulous smile to reassure him. He smiled back, barely lifting the corners of his mouth. Confusion still filled his gaze and he gripped his father for stability and reassurance.

  Finally, Ryder cleared his throat and slid to his feet, pulling Wyatt up. “Want me to read to you?”

  Wyatt nodded, his hand clinging to Ryder’s. They trooped up the stairs together, but quietly. The house was subdued, and much more silent, as if it too were in mourning.

  Tara slid to her feet. She had no idea where she fit in this family anymore. She swallowed the thick lump in her throat and grabbed a blanket before curling up on the couch. It didn’t feel right somehow to enter their bedroom. Ryder and Ebony’s bedroom. She preferred to stay right there on the couch. Out of the way. As a guest.

  Ryder didn’t come out to get her either.

  ****

  She woke up to a loud knocking and the doorbell ringing. Eyes that seemed pasted to her lower lids practically ripped open as she sat up, feeling confused in the light-filled room. She pushed the blanket back as the front door started to open. Ryder’s couch. She was in his living room. Ebony was dead. And she didn’t know what to do now.

  Who…?

  She nearly groaned out loud.

  Chloe and her parents suddenly walked in. Tara was on her feet by then. She finger-combed her ratty hair as best she could. Chloe stopped dead, staring at her with neither anger nor acknowledgement. Her eyes were swollen and red. She blinked several times as if she were remembering who she was. “Tara?” Her tone was filled with loathing. “Mom, Dad, this is Tara.”

  She didn’t have to add she was Ryder’s girlfriend. Ebony’s replacement. She had implied that in her disdainful tone. Mom and Dad were two people whom Tara had already met before, as Chloe well knew. Puzzled by the odd introduction, Tara bit her tongue and kept quiet. Grief. They were all consumed by confusion and grief.

  Mom and Dad were Adaline and Kylar Carrington. Usually, they seemed a handsome, still vigorous couple
in their mid-sixties. But today? They looked like they had aged ten years overnight. Tara’s heart fell to her feet. Oh, God. This was so bad. And she should not have been there.

  She stepped forward. “I’m so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Carrington.” She kept her tone soft and non-confrontational.

  “Where’re Wyatt and Ryder?”

  “Still sleeping,” Tara replied to Chloe’s aggressive tone.

  “Right here.” Ryder’s voice came from the stairs. He was out of uniform now and wearing a t-shirt and navy blue sweats as he came towards them. He embraced Adaline. “Wyatt’s still sleeping. I can go wake him up.”

  Adaline shook her head. Her hand trembled as she touched his shoulder. “Let the boy sleep. Did you…?”

  Ryder nodded. “I told him.” A small smile brightened his face a tad. “He asked if she was in heaven with God and Nana Pearson. First thing he said.”

  Adaline smiled softly, but it seemed to make her face glow and a piece of her soul shone through. Aha. This was where the religion came from. God resided in the Carrington family. With Ebony. Not so much Ryder. “He’s such a blessing. I’m so glad we have him. To…”

  Ryder squeezed her shoulder. “Yes, we do. Ebony lives on in him.”

  They all nodded.

  “He has her joy. Her excitement. Her enthusiasm. Her verve and energy.” Kylar added.

  Ryder’s gaze was distant as he nodded and agreed. “He does. He’s…”

  Tara stepped back, fidgeting now. She did not want to be there and felt she didn’t belong. They were grieving over someone she didn’t know. Someone whose place she was filling. Her presence there only further emphasized Ebony’s absence. Her heart clenched in pain as she stared at Ryder. He was grieving for his wife. What place could she fill now in his life? As a girlfriend?