“Yes! A visit with her would be perfect. I’ve missed her so much,” Connie enthused, and a sense of overwhelming love consumed her for this man, who’d thought of that for her. “But is it wise for your brother to tell them what happened? I thought your brother and Lady Lorelie couldn’t stand each other?”
“They clash like cymbals whenever they meet,” Alec agreed. “But Iain feels responsible for Lady MacKinnon’s death, so he believes it is only fitting that he himself is the one to inform them personally of what occurred.”
“He blames himself?”
“Aye, he does.”
“He shouldn’t.” Connie still got a chill when she pictured the woman’s eyes, which were filled with hate and revenge. “She truly was unhinged and would have killed us all if given the chance.”
“I know, and I think Iain knows that, too, though he’s still berating himself, that with his size, he should have easily been able to wrestle the gun from her hands instead of being shot himself.”
Connie gasped. “He was shot? Is he all right? What happened?”
“When he was struggling with the lady, she let off a shot, which struck his arm. Iain was able to twist the gun away, but she pulled the trigger again and ended up shooting herself clean through the heart,” Alec explained. “Iain still blames himself for her death.”
“She was stronger than she looked.” Connie had felt that herself when she’d wrestled with the woman. “And she was on a mission. A dangerous thing for someone who is emotionally unstable.”
A knock sounded at the door, and Alec yelled to come in as he glanced over his shoulder.
His heart slammed in his chest when he saw a policeman standing there.
…
“You two have been darn difficult to find,” the police officer said from the doorway.
Instantly, Alec’s body braced in defense. Standing, he stalked over to the doorway, his body blocking the police officer’s view of Connie. He kept walking straight toward the sergeant, who was forced to take a few hasty steps backward into the hallway.
Pulling the door closed behind him, Alec stood in front of it with his hands crossed over his chest. He slowly assessed the man. “You had better not be here to arrest the duchess. If you are, you’d best be expecting a fight.”
The officer held his hands up in a placating gesture. “No, I promise you I’m not here to do that. My name is Sergeant Jarrod Clemmings, and though I was originally tasked with apprehending the duchess, that is certainly no longer the case.”
“It isn’t?” Alec was still suspicious.
“No,” the man confirmed. “I’ve spoken to your brother and Lord Fergus, who have both given statements about everything that happened. I know the duchess is completely innocent of murdering anyone.”
The man’s words relieved Alec, as he hadn’t particularly fancied the thought of assaulting a police officer, but there was no way he was going to let anyone take Connie from him again. “Then what are you doing here still?”
“Goodness, you and your brother are alike, are you not?” The sergeant shook his head. “I’m still here as I wished to let you know that the arrest warrants issued for the duchess have been retracted, however I will still need to obtain a statement from her—when she is fully recovered, of course.”
Alec nodded. Finally, she could stop running; they both could. “That is acceptable. I shall send word when she is recovered.”
“I must say I always thought there was something fishy about the whole situation,” the sergeant said. “Though who would have imagined Lady MacKinnon had orchestrated this whole thing? Blimey unbelievable it was. Though the lengths some will go to when they’re overcome with grief are very long indeed.”
“That information is not to be made public until Clan MacKinnon are informed, sergeant,” Alec warned, taking a step toward the officer.
“No need to worry on that score.” The sergeant didn’t seem to be too intimidated by Alec. “I’ve already been threatened by your brother, whom I’ve given my word to that I shan’t release that information until the end of the week. Anyhow, I’d best be off now. Clearly, I’ve overstayed my welcome, and I don’t think I’d fancy bumping into your father, if he’s as welcoming as his two sons.” The man bowed his head. “I’ll appreciate you letting me know once the duchess is fully recovered.”
The man held out his hand, and Alec shook it before watching the sergeant stroll down the hall to the main staircase, passing his brother Iain in the process. Iain nodded to the officer before striding toward Alec.
“How is she?” Iain asked, stopping across the hall from where Alec was still standing in front of the bedchamber door.
“The fever broke this morning, thankfully,” Alec replied. “And she’s awake, so she is going to be fine. How’s your arm?”
Iain’s gaze flicked down to the bandage wrapped around his upper biceps and he shrugged. “’Tis only a flesh wound.”
“A flesh wound can still become infected.”
His brother held up his hands in surrender. “I’m following doctor’s orders and cleaning it daily with some saltwater, I swear.”
Alec smiled. “Good.”
“Am I right to let the MacKinnons know that they can visit with Amelie then?” Iain asked, though for some reason Alec could see anxiety in his brother’s eyes, and he couldn’t for the life of him remember seeing Iain ever uncertain before.
“Will you be all right telling them what occurred?”
Iain shrugged. “She’ll blame me for her mother’s death. And why wouldn’t she? Considering I was responsible for it. She’ll probably never forgive me.”
“Lady Lorelie?”
“Aye,” Iain confirmed.
“You weren’t responsible for her mother’s death, Iain.” Alec had never seen his brother like this, and he noticed Iain seemed concerned only about Lady Lorelie. “Lady MacKinnon tried to kill Connie, and she would have happily put a bullet in each of us if she’d gotten a chance. I know you didn’t mean for her to die, but she was the one with her finger on the trigger, trying to kill you. You need to remember that, brother. And even if Lady Lorelie might not understand it at first, I’m sure over time, she’ll come to accept the truth of it and realize that you really weren’t to blame.”
Iain nodded though didn’t look convinced. “Anyhow, thankfully your duchess is going to be all right and is through the worst of it.”
“Aye, I don’t think I’ve ever prayed so hard in my life.” He’d never been more relieved than when she’d opened her eyes this morning. For the past two days he’d barely left her side, and even then, only reluctantly to use the bathroom. “And a large part of that is thanks to you. If you hadn’t come looking for me at the lodge and accompanied me, I would have been wrestling the gun from that madwoman, instead of saving Connie. And I might have lost her, if I hadn’t been able to stem the flow of blood from her wound that quickly. And losing her… Well, that is something I don’t think I would have ever recovered from. I am sorry I chose her to save over you. Never have I been placed in a more difficult position.”
“You love her.” It was a statement rather than a question, and the truth of it no longer scared Alec, but filled him with happiness. “There was no choice to make. I’m sure if I ever allowed myself to love a woman, as you love Connie, I would do the same thing.”
“Aye, I do love her.” When he’d been holding his cravat to her wound, watching her blood soak into it, he’d understood then that she might leave him for good. He’d also realized that if she were gone, he’d be truly a broken man, for he’d never loved anyone like he loved Connie. What he had felt for Elise was nothing compared to the emotions Connie stirred in him. “Thank you, brother, for being there for me and helping me on that day. God knows how it would have turned out if I’d been on my own.”
“It was nothing.” Iain shrugged, but then
he breathed in a deep breath. “I would do anything for you, brother. And I know it’s too little, too late, but I am sorry for what I did all those years ago. There hasn’t been a day since that I haven’t regretted my actions, and I hope there will come a time you’ll forgive me.”
Alec himself gulped in a lungful of air before taking a step forward and grabbing his brother in a half bear hug, mindful of his brother’s injured arm. “I do forgive you. And I’m sorry, too, Iain. I should have given you a chance to explain. If anything, this whole experience with Connie being shot has really rammed home how important it is to love and to forgive. Life is too short for anything else.”
For so long Alec had held such animosity toward his brother for the part he’d played with Elise. But now his brother had helped save the woman Alec loved. And in looking back at it, he knew in his heart that what Iain had done had been out of love for him. Obviously very misguided, but his brother was stubborn and fierce, and that had been the only way he’d known how to show Alec Elise’s true nature.
And in the end, Alec couldn’t blame him, because without actually seeing Elise kissing Iain, he never would have believed such a thing possible. And had Iain not pretended to be interested in Elise, she may well have agreed to marry Alec, and then Alec would have been stuck with a wife who was faithless. Plus, then he would never have been in a position to fall in love with Connie.
That would have been the true tragedy.
Though he still didn’t know if she truly loved him, too. Certainly, she’d whispered she loved him before Fergus took her, but had that really been the case, or simply something she’d said, thinking they’d never see each other again? A part of him was scared to know the truth, because what if it was the latter? And what if she did want to be a widow, with all the freedom that entailed? Would she really choose to give up her newfound independence?
A sniffling sound echoed down the hallway, and Alec and Iain pulled apart and turned toward the noise. Farther down the corridor stood their father, who looked suspiciously like he had a tear or two sliding down his weathered cheeks.
“Bloody dusty in this hallway,” their father commented, quickly swiping away at the wetness on his face as he strolled over to them. “Irritating my eyes, is what it’s doing. I’ll have to get the staff on it right away.”
Alec and Iain exchanged a smile, and the camaraderie they’d shared so effortlessly years before seemed to be returning. It felt a long time overdue.
“I’m glad to see you two have finally started to put your differences aside. About bloody time.” His father glanced to the door behind Alec. “How’s she doing?”
“The fever broke this morning,” Alec replied.
“Thank goodness for that.” His father clapped him on the back. “She’s a fighter, that one.”
She certainly was. “Aye.” Alec nodded.
“One worth keeping, I’d suggest,” his brother added.
“Aye,” his father agreed. “Even though she’s English.”
Their father had never forgiven their mother for the heartache she’d caused him, all those years ago, and often blamed her heritage on her unfaithfulness. And though Alec didn’t think her heritage had had anything to do with it, his mother, after all, had proved to be so consumed by her own wants and desires that Alec doubted it would have made a difference in which country she’d been born.
But his father and brother were both right. Connie was a fighter, and she was most definitely worth keeping.
The only question was, would she want him? She was now finally free from the shackles of marriage, and he certainly couldn’t offer her the grandeur she’d been used to as a duchess. But he was going to try his hardest to convince her that he’d do his best to make her happy.
Chapter Fifty
Returning to the bedchamber, Alec could see the anxiety in Connie’s eyes. “It’s fine,” he quickly reassured her. “The police know the truth of what happened and aren’t here to arrest you; they just needed to inform you that you’re required to provide a statement after you’ve recovered.”
Connie let out a long sigh. “Oh, that is a relief! I thought he was here to cart me off to prison.”
Alec strode over to where she was lying in the bed and sat down on the side of the mattress next to her. He picked up her hand and caressed her knuckles. “I would never let that happen. They would have to go through me first.”
She smiled gloriously up at him, and Alec’s heart did a little flip. He knew he was in serious trouble. This woman had captured his heart, and she didn’t even know it. The thought of telling her suddenly terrified him. What if she rejected him? And really, she should reject him. She was a duchess, for goodness’ sake, while he was only the second son of an earl, who worked for a living.
“What’s wrong, Alec?” The smile that had lit up her face was now clouding over in concern. “Is there something you’re not telling me?” She squeezed his fingers with her own. “Whatever it is, I know that together we can work it out.”
He suddenly had never felt so nervous in his life. The only other two women he’d ever uttered the words “I love you” to had been his mother and then Elise. And they’d both ended up abandoning him. Could he risk his heart again? For a moment, he didn’t think he could.
But then he glanced down into Connie’s eyes, the sapphire color drawing him in and making him so content to simply stare into their depths that he knew he had to risk telling her. Heartache would be better than her never knowing how he truly felt.
He cleared his throat. “Constance Eugenia… I… I um, well, damn it, I love you.”
Not the exact words of love he’d been meaning to say, but he’d said it, and found himself holding his bloody breath like a teenager.
“You do?” she asked, her voice somewhat tentative.
He couldn’t stand it, he stood and began to pace across the room. “I know I can’t give you a title, or a castle with hundreds of servants. Hell, I can’t even give you the proper life you deserve.” Alec paused and took in a very deep breath before walking back to her and taking her hand in his own again. “But I can give you my heart, for whatever it’s worth.”
“There’s no need to feel sorry for me, Alec,” Connie said. “I’m going to be fine; you don’t need to pretend to love me out of some sense of guilt.”
“It’s nothing of the sort!” How could he make her understand the depths of his feelings? “When you were shot, and I thought I’d lost you, it felt like my whole world had ended. Then when I discovered you still had a pulse, and that I might be able to save you, it seemed like I was getting a second chance. I could finally acknowledge my feelings and how very much you mean to me.”
Alec stood and wandered over to the window. “But then of course, I was tested again, when not a second later Iain was shot, and I had to choose in that instant, if it came down to it, who I was going to save.” He turned back to face her. “I didn’t even hesitate when I chose you. Of course, I felt guilty as hell, but it wasn’t even really a choice; I would always save you above anyone, even myself. That’s how much I love you, Connie, and even if you don’t love me or don’t want to be with me, I will always save you first.”
“You would?” There was a sense of astonishment in her words.
“Of course I would.” He walked back over to her. “I would choose you a thousand times over.” He sat again down beside her and took her hand tentatively in his own. “I know you’ve been through so much, and I know you have no intention of marrying again. But I’m just hoping that maybe you might change your mind? I can promise to protect you, and to love you with all that I am, for the rest of my life. And I will never, ever raise a hand against you, and I promise you, you will have an equal say in what goes on in our household. I shall give up my practice in Cheapside and we can move to Mayfair, where I’ll start acting like the second son of an earl. If you’ll have me, that is… Will
you marry me, Connie?”
Alec felt every fiber of his being brace as he watched her expression, hardly daring to breathe in wait of her response.
There was a sadness, tempered with the steely-eyed determination that appeared in the depths of her gaze. His heart sank.
“I can’t,” she uttered with gentleness.
Alec slowly nodded, his whole body sagging of its own accord. “Of course. I understand.” And he did, really. After all, she was born and bred to live the life of a grand lady. He’d been foolish to think that what they’d shared would be enough to overcome the differences in their lives. Foolish to think she would want to marry someone like him. “I knew I was clutching at straws to even ask you. I will leave you in peace.”
He went to release her hand, but she gripped his palm even tighter. “Don’t you dare leave me, Alec McGuiness.”
A sense of confusion was warring with a glimmer of hope starting to bloom in his chest. “I don’t understand… You just said you can’t…”
“Of course I can’t. Do you really think I care about all that nonsense anymore? Do you think I care about a title, or how many servants I have?” There was a note of incredulity in Connie’s voice. “After all I’ve been through and experienced from chasing such things when I was younger? Trying to live up to Mother’s expectations? All for what? Nothing at the end of the day. And after all we’ve been through together? I love you, Alec. And you don’t need to sacrifice all that you’ve worked so hard to achieve for me. You save people’s lives. You saved my life. And if you think I’m going to let you give that up for me, and for some ludicrous notion of what I need, you’re mad. I won’t let you do it.”
“But how else do I give you the life you deserve?” He could see no other way to ensure she led a life somewhat similar to what she was used to.
The Sinful Scot (Saints & Scoundrels) Page 34