Outcast (Moonlight Wolves Book 4)

by Jasmine B. Waters

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Karen darting toward me. ‘Shit,’ I thought. I didn’t want to answer any more of her stupid wedding planning questions, although I had a feeling literally everyone at the party would be asking me the same stuff. ‘Is it going to be like this until we get married?’ I wondered as I poured some rum punch in a cup and walked outside. ‘Is everyone just going to ask me about dresses, and venues, and catering, and bridesmaids?’

  I knew I should be happy. According to one of the books Steven had brought home the other night, this was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. But whenever I thought about walking down a silent aisle in front of hundreds of people, my throat closed up, and I felt scared and shaky. I hated being the center of attention. The thought of everyone watching me, inspecting my every detail, made me incredibly nervous.

  I pushed my way through the crowd and went outside to sit on the porch. Our driveway was overflowing with cars, some of them spilling onto the front yard. I bit my lip and took a long sip of rum punch, enjoying the liquor’s burn as it slid down my throat. Inside, I could hear Steven laughing and cracking loud jokes with his friends about a ball and chain.

  If anything, that just made me feel worse.

  It was cold and dreary, more like fall weather than spring. The sky was full of inky clouds, racing back and forth, and it wasn’t long before a cold rain started to splash down. I curled up on the porch swing, sipping my rum and listening to the sounds of everyone, but me, enjoying my engagement party.

  A station wagon pulled up and parked, the headlights sweeping across the front of the house. The glare was so bright that I couldn’t see who was driving until they parked and climbed out. I gasped. A tall, lanky guy with black hair flopping in his eyes was loping toward the house in an oddly graceful gait.

  David.

  I stood up and set my cup of punch down. When David got to the porch and saw me, he threw me a cockeyed grin.

  “And just what is the bride-to-be doing out here alone? Banished?”

  I shook my head. “It’s crowded in there,” I said slowly. “I needed some air.”

  David nodded. He stepped closer, and my heart thudded in my chest as he pulled me into a tight embrace. Under his baggy, black clothing, his body was thin, almost bony. But his grip was surprisingly strong, and I sagged against him.

  When we pulled away, I felt strangely naked and vulnerable.

  David showed no sign of being affected, though. He ambled over to the porch swing and sat down, brushing droplets of water from his lightweight, black trench coat.

  “Want some punch?”

  “I can go in and get it,” David said.

  “No,” I said quickly. “I’ll be right back.” I couldn’t explain it, but something inside of me wasn’t ready to go back in for good. There was something infinitely more appealing about sitting quietly with David and listening to the rain.

  Thankfully, no one noticed me as I slunk into the kitchen and poured rum punch into two red cups, filling them up nearly to the brim. I walked outside carefully, holding both cups in front of me and trying not to spill.

  “Thanks,” David said when I handed one of the cups over. “I guess congratulations are in order.”

  I groaned. “I really, really don’t wanna talk about the wedding right now.”

  David narrowed his eyes. His face had changed since we were kids; he’d finally grown into his long facial features. His chin was free of scruff, but his eyes seemed darker than ever.

  “Why? Did something happen?”

  “No,” I said quickly, “nothing like that.” I sighed. “It’s just…oh, I don’t know. Ever since I got this thing,” I held up my hand, showing David my engagement diamond, “all everyone wants to talk about is wedding planning. And it’s, like, if I don’t wanna talk about it, then I’m the weird one.”

  David nodded. “I get that,” he said.

  I swallowed a big mouthful of rum punch. The liquor was starting to work its magic on me, and I felt a little more confident than I had before, when Karen had cornered me in the kitchen.

  “So,” I said, “are you seeing anyone?”

  David shook his head. “No,” he said stiffly. “I haven’t, since–”

  “Oh,” I said softly. “Sorry. I didn’t know.”

  David shrugged. “It’s not a big deal,” he said. “I mean, it is. But I guess not really anymore.”

  I sank against the ancient wood of the swing, making the chains that fastened it to the ceiling creak.

  “I think about her all the time,” I said. “It’s, like, no matter what I do, she’s always there.”

  David nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Sometimes I feel like that, too.”

  “I wonder what she’d be doing now,” I said sulkily.

  David shrugged. “That’s the part I try not to think about,” he said. His voice was dark and laced with obvious pain. “I hate thinking that she could be here, but she’s not.”

  Just as I was about to ask him what exactly he meant, the front door swung open, and Steven strode out. When he saw me, he grinned, but the smile faded instantly when he caught a glimpse of David.

  “What’s he doing here?” Steven said, more to David than to me.

  “I came to show my support,” David said. He grinned sarcastically at Steven. “Isn’t that allowed? This is an engagement, after all.”

  Steven narrowed his eyes and scowled.

  “Steven, it’s fine,” I said quickly, getting to my feet. “Really. I invited him.”

  “You did what?” Steven glared at me. “Are you kidding me, Elizabeth?”

  I shook my head. “Of course not,” I said. My heart skipped a beat in alarm, and I felt blood rising to the surface of my skin.

  “Why would you do something like that?”

  “Because he is my friend,” I shot back.

  “Whatever,” Steven said. He sighed loudly and whistled. “I’m going inside. This is fuckin’ bullshit. Elizabeth, come on.” He pushed the door open and jerked his head toward the inside of the house.

  I shook my head. “I’m gonna stay out here for a while,” I said. “It’s too hot in there for me.”

  Steven rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he said. Before I could reply, he walked inside and slammed the door.

  “Sorry about that,” I said to David. “I didn’t know he’d be that pissed.”

  Oddly, David didn’t look the least bit bothered by my fiancé’s rudeness.

  “I think he’s probably just…” I trailed off. “I don’t know. He’s still upset about Monica, too.” I felt like I was groping for words. “I wouldn’t take it personally.”

  David gave me an odd smile. “I didn’t,” he said. He took a long swallow of punch.

  I frowned. To be honest, I wasn’t exactly sure what had made me want to invite David. It had been years since we’d talked. But a couple of nights ago, I hadn’t been able to sleep. I’d taken my laptop down to the kitchen and wound up poking around Facebook. David had shown up in a list of people that I ‘might know,’ and I hadn’t been able to resist sending him a message. He’d replied almost instantly, and we ended up chatting until the wee hours of the morning. Toward the end of the conversation, I’d invited him to the engagement party.

  Of course, I hadn’t exactly thought that he was going to show up.

  “So,” David said. He smirked. “What’s going on, Elizabeth? You look pretty miserable.”

  I sighed. “I’m not,” I said. “I…I don’t really know, to be honest. I feel like a lot of stuff is changing, and I’m sort of stuck here, watching it happen.”

  “You sound depressed.”

  I shook my head. “It’s not that, really,” I said. I bit my lip. “I don’t know. Maybe it is. Maybe I am.”

  “If you ever want to talk, I’m here,” David said.

  I stared at him. “That’s an odd thing to say.”

  “Why? We’re friends,” David said.

  “I guess we are,” I said
slowly. “I just … I don’t know. I guess I don’t really know what to think right now.”

  David nodded. “You’re going through a lot,” he said. “You’ll figure it out.”

  I slumped against the porch swing. “I hope so,” I said.

  The rain started falling faster and heavier. We sat in silence, rocking slowly on the creaky, old swing. I finished my punch, but I didn’t feel like going back inside; the raucous cries were now louder than ever, and I didn’t feel like facing Steven, or Karen, or any of the other people who were, supposedly, my friends.

  Part of me wondered if David was right. I didn’t exactly feel like I was going through anything. And yet, when Steven asked me to marry him, I’d felt a little kernel of doubt in my heart. Over the past few weeks, I’d been practically praying for it to vanish, for real happiness to sink in, for real excitement. But instead, I just felt like I was walking slowly toward a fire that I was powerless to stop.

  I stared at David’s elfin profile. In the seven, or so, years since everything had happened, I’d barely thought about him. But now that he was here, next to me, he seemed infinitely more interesting than anything else going on around me.

  “I’m gonna go,” David said abruptly. “Thanks for having me, Elizabeth.”

  I frowned. “You sure?”

  David laughed humorlessly. “Yeah,” he said. “I hate parties. Besides,” he added, glancing toward the front door, “might be a good idea to leave before anything else happens.”

  He leaned in for another hug, but made sure to keep most of his body away from mine. I stood stiffly as he kissed me on the cheek.

  “Bye, Elizabeth,” David said. “Don’t worry. You’ll be a beautiful bride.” He gave me an ambiguous smile; I couldn’t tell if he was sincere or mocking.

  “Bye,” I whispered. David bobbed his head, then loped toward his car and drove off in a haze of rain.

  ---

  I stayed outside for another hour, or so, until the rain finally started to clear and people began filtering out through the front door. Everyone seemed genuinely surprised to see me outside, like they hadn’t even noticed my absence in the house. I forced a smile and greeted them all as they left and walked to the cars. When it was finally quiet inside, I grabbed the empty plastic cups and walked into the kitchen.

  Steven and Karen were laughing, doing the dishes together, and flicking suds and water at each other. When Karen saw me, she burst out laughing.

  “Elizabeth, where the heck have you been?”

  Steven’s smile faded as soon as he saw me. “Hey, Karen, thanks for your help,” he said smoothly. “But, I think Elizabeth and I can take it from here.”

  Karen lingered in the doorway, watching me with wide eyes. Finally, when she realized we weren’t going to say anything until after she’d gone, she rolled her eyes and walked upstairs in a huff.

  “What the hell was that?!” Steven demanded. “How the fuck could you just leave your own party?”

  “I didn’t leave,” I said truthfully. “I was outside. It was too loud in here.”

  Steven groaned. “Elizabeth, come on!” He narrowed his eyes. “Do you realize how stupid I looked, entertaining everyone by myself? That was our fucking engagement party, and you weren’t even present!”

  “I wasn’t the one who wanted a party,” I shot back. “It was Karen’s idea, and you went along with it.”

  “What kind of girl doesn’t want an engagement party?” Steven glared. “Oh, yeah, I forgot. My manic-depressive fiancée. That’s who.”

  “That’s not fair,” I shot back. “You know I’ve never been as social as you! You know big things make me uncomfortable.”

  “But this is about us,” Steven said. “Elizabeth, you have to compromise with me. We aren’t just eloping, you know.”

  “I wish we could,” I muttered under my breath.

  “What?” Now, Steven looked truly angry. “What did you just say?”

  I shrugged. Suddenly, the will to fight melted, and I shook my head.

  “I just wish we didn’t have to have a big wedding,” I said. “I mean, it’s about us, right? We should be able to decide.”

  Steven sighed. “Elizabeth, you know we can’t do that. My family would freak out.”

  “So? They’re not the ones getting married.”

  Steven groaned and raked a hand through his hair. “Elizabeth that is so not the point. Weddings are about two families joining each other, not just us!”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Well, I don’t want a big wedding,” I said. “It makes me uncomfortable. You know how much I hate being the center of attention.”

  “You’re gonna need to suck it up for a day,” Steven said. He shrugged. “That’s the way weddings are done in my family. You knew that, Elizabeth.”

  I felt my anger come rushing back in hot waves. “No,” I said. I crossed my arms over my chest and shook my head. “I’m not doing that.”

  “Grow up,” Steven muttered. He turned away from me and grabbed a dish from the sink, roughly soaping it and washing it under the stream of water.

  I snorted in disbelief. “You don’t respect me,” I said.

  Steven dropped the dish in the sink and turned around, putting his hands on his hips. “What did you just say?”

  “I said, you don’t respect me.” I felt my anger growing and growing inside of me like a beast – a beast that I couldn’t control. My heart was pounding against my ribs, and even though I knew I would regret it, I couldn’t help spitting out: “And you never have!”

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Steven asked warily. “What are you talking about? Of course, I respect you, Elizabeth. Damn it, I asked you to be my wife!”

  I took a shaky deep breath. “Nothing. Forget I said anything.”

  Steven crossed the floor in two giant steps and grabbed my arms with his wet, soapy hands. I tried to push him away, but he was stronger, and soon he shook me and pulled me close.

  “No, you can’t play games like this,” Steven growled. “You need to tell me what the fuck you meant. Now, Elizabeth!”

  “Stop yelling,” I said. “Just forget it, okay?”

  “No!” Steven roared. “Damn it, Elizabeth. Tell me!”

  I sighed. “I…I know there was something going on between you and your sister,” I finally said. “Back when we were kids, when you and I first started dating.”

  Steven’s face turned bloodless and white. He released my arms, and I sagged for a moment before wrapping my arms tightly around my body and holding myself.

  “Steven?” I tried nervously. “Are you okay?”

  Steven’s mouth formed a thin, angry line. He pushed past me and stalked up the stairs. When I heard the bedroom door slam, I winced.

  Part of me wanted to run to him and talk to him, make this better. But another part of me – a bigger part of me – felt like that wouldn’t be a good idea. I poured the last of the rum punch into a cup and sat down at the table, sipping slowly. I wondered what I was doing. I wondered if I should have said ‘no’ when Steven asked me to marry him. As much as I wanted to believe that Steven respected me, I’d just gotten almost concrete proof of the opposite. But maybe that was normal – maybe that was how most marriages worked.

  I swallowed and shifted in my chair, feeling uncomfortable. I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to do next, but I knew that if I didn’t decide something soon, it would be too late.

  Chapter One

  Elizabeth – Seven Years Ago

  I pushed open the door to my room and gasped. My feet were rooted firmly to the spot, and a shiver inched down my spine.

  Monica was sitting lotus-style on my bed. When she saw me, she smiled.

  “Hey,” Monica said. “God, you took forever to get home! I feel like I’ve been waiting for hours!” Her cheeks were flushed pink.

  “I was just outside,” I said slowly. “How did you get here? I’ve been in the driveway the whole time.”

  “Elizabeth,
come on,” Monica said. “We both know you’re not exactly the most observant person in the world.”

  I stared at her. “But … I just … I just went outside a few minutes ago. I didn’t see you come in,” I added. “What’s up?”

  Monica grinned. “You’ve been anxious over Steven and Andrea,” she said softly. She raised an eyebrow. “But I know how you can win Steven – for good.”

  My jaw dropped. “What?”

  “I know all about what’s going on,” Monica continued. “And I know how you can come out on top.” Her grin turned sinister in the low afternoon light.

  I felt myself begin to tremble and shake with fear.

  “Come here, Elizabeth,” Monica said. She beckoned me with a slender finger. “Don’t you want to know?”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Why? What happened? Are you okay?” I walked closer to my friend, unable to keep the fear from welling up inside of my chest. “Did something happen between the end of school and now?”

  Monica laughed. Her eyes glittered. “Elizabeth, what are you talking about?” She tossed her blonde hair disdainfully over one shoulder. “I wasn’t in school today. Are you feeling all right?”

  My heart sank, and I sat down on the corner of the bed, feeling afraid of my best friend for what felt like the first time in my life. Monica looked so calm and peaceful. She also looked healthy, with pink cheeks and a mysterious look in her brown eyes. The combination of her petite stature and the way she was sitting made her look ancient and wise.

  “I saw you in homeroom,” I said warily. “You got angry with me when I asked where you’d been.”

  Monica laughed. “God, Elizabeth, stop lying,” she said. “I get it. You’re trying to make me feel guilty. Look, I feel bad that I haven’t been here for you. That’s why I wanna help with Steven.” Her eyes flashed, and she grinned. “I have the perfect idea.”

  I licked my lips. My heart was thudding, and my palms were covered in a cold, unpleasant sweat. “Okay,” I said slowly. “What’s up?”

  Monica shrugged. “You just have to prove that Andrea is insane,” she said calmly. “That’s all. Then Steven will be yours.”

  A wave of nausea washed over me, and I gripped the bedpost, clutching it tightly until my knuckles turned white. “I don’t get it,” I said flatly. “What are you even talking about?”