by Morgan Fox
How could I have been so stupid? How did I let my heart get caught up again?
She slammed her hands down on the bar, realizing she’d been scrubbing the same spot for the last ten minutes. The sting of tears welled at the back of her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. She wouldn’t cry over him, wouldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt. He hadn’t cared about her enough to be truthful, hadn’t thought about the way she would feel once it all came out.
Luke had tried to tell her what a great guy he was, but that only infuriated her more. If he was such a great guy, why did he use her? Couldn’t he have just had sex with her in the storeroom and left it at that? Did he have to pursue her like he honestly wanted more than just sex?
She knew it all along, knew he was too perfect, and sooner or later his flaws would be revealed. No matter how hard she tried to protect herself, she was always destined to get hurt. She was lost. Even with the pain of knowing he’d lied to her, she was still in love with him, still craved him with a desperation that left her breathless and crazed.
Each time the door opened to the bar, she looked to see if it was him, silently hoping that he’d get the balls to come and see her. But he never did. He’d just called her a number of times and texted her enough that her phone locked up. That should’ve said something to her, but fear had kept her from answering or replying.
She’d only known him for a short time. A few weeks wasn’t enough time to fall in love with someone. It wasn’t. And missing him the way she did, wanting him to rush through those doors like some freaking knight in shining armor, was a ridiculous sentiment.
“I see you’ve cleaned the bar,” Sam said, coming behind her to take the rag from her hand. “At least, that spot’s never been cleaner.”
Brynn swallowed the emotions overwhelming her. “Sorry, I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
Sam nodded. “I heard,” she said, taking her hand in hers. “I also know that you really liked this guy and that you might’ve even—”
“It doesn’t matter,” Brynn quickly said. “He was a phony and he used me. That’s unforgiveable.”
“Can you really blame him for keeping his identity secret?” Sam asked sympathetically. “What if telling you put his life at risk? What if it put yours at risk? Would you have wanted to know everything then?”
Brynn hated when Sam was the voice of reason. She was always doing that to everyone around her. She shrugged. “I hate that he didn’t trust me.”
“Maybe he does trust you, but he still didn’t want to see you hurt.”
She scowled. “I got hurt, Sam, and I don’t want to be hurt. I’ve been hurt before. You know that. I’ve been made a fool of and I don’t want that to be my lot in life.” She sniffled. “I fell in love with him and he wasn’t even who I thought he was. Who does that? Who falls in love with someone they don’t really know?”
Sam’s eyes glistened and for the first time, Brynn saw vulnerability come from the woman she’d always considered tough as nails and confident. The look on her face had her wondering how well she even knew Sam.
“I was foolish enough to fall in love with a man I hardly knew, and soon after our affair began, he joined the military. I’d never been so hurt. He hadn’t bothered to tell me that he’d enlisted. He kept that tidbit to himself.”
“How did you find out?”
“The day he left, his brother called to let me know what he had done. You see, his brother’s my best friend.”
She furrowed her brow. “Are you talking about Jason’s brother, Daniel?”
She nodded.
Her heart sank. “Oh, Sam.”
“I know how it feels to be deceived, to feel like you were made a fool of. I also know what it’s like to forgive someone, even when I really don’t want to.” She grasped Brynn’s hand. “Daniel did what he needed to do for his own reasons and I was selfish, hating him for something I didn’t fully understand.”
“Great. Now I feel guilty.”
Sam smiled. “I know that feeling, too, but I’m not telling you this so you feel guilty. I’m telling you this so that you don’t make the same mistake I did. I gave up on Daniel. Don’t give up on him, especially if you love him.”
* * * *
Reid sat on the steps of Brynn’s apartment and waited. He knew she worked and hoped she didn’t have other plans or it would be a long night. He had no intentions of leaving until she heard him out. He needed to clear the air between them and the only way he was going to do that was with a surprise attack.
Glancing at his watch, he figured it would only be a few more minutes and she’d be home, but then her door opened and he came face to face with Brynn.
“Wow, you must really want to talk with me,” she said, her tone overrun with sarcasm. “You’ve been out here for a good hour and half. What, working up the courage to knock?”
“Something like that,” he said, standing.
She scanned him with a heated glare. “What do you want?”
“I want to talk to you.”
“I’m not sure I want to listen to anything you have to say.”
“I figured that,” he said, stepping closer. “May I come in?”
Her posture went ramrod straight. “I’m sorry. I don’t let strangers inside my apartment.”
He placed his hand on her door as she prepared to close it. “I’m no stranger,” he reminded her, his voice dipping low. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Brynn. I never wanted that to happen.”
The silence that filled the space between them was deafening. But after a long hesitation, she opened the door to let him in.
“Thanks,” he said softly.
As he finally took a look at her, from head to toe, he noticed that she wore a T-shirt and jeans. He’d never seen her look like that before. His tongue swelled in his mouth and he couldn’t seem to look anywhere but at her.
“Wow,” he muttered. “You look beautiful.” Then he realized he’d spoken his thoughts aloud. “I wasn’t sure you’d speak to me ever again.”
She grimaced, her eyes filled with emotions that were a mixture of regret, sadness, and something else. He didn’t know exactly, but he hoped it was longing. Damn, he wanted her to miss him, to want him back like he wanted her.
“What’s on your mind, Reid?” she said, using his real name.
“I’d like to start over.” He approached her, stretching out his hand as if meeting her for the first time. “I’m Reid Wilson,” he said with a smile. “Against my better judgment, I had been admiring you from the moment I walked into Iron Horse, but as hard as I tried to look the other way, I couldn’t. I’ve wanted you from the beginning. I never thought I’d find a woman who could affect me the way you have, and I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you who I was.”
She glanced at his hand and up to his eyes and back again. “Don’t try to charm me Reid. Just talk.” She pulled her hand away and moved to sit at her kitchen table.
He followed, the weight of the world crushing down on him. “What can I do to prove how sorry I am?” he asked.
Her mouth was tight and her eyes narrowed. She looked pissed and he wished it didn’t make him think about how gorgeous she looked. “I want to punch you in the face, you know that?”
He fought the smile that tickled the muscles in his cheeks. She never was one to hold back her emotions. “I don’t blame you,” he said, then wondered if she would actually do it. Not that he’d stop her. “But hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted. For so long, I wished you’d just flirt with me and that would be it, but somehow it went further than that and then I couldn’t stop myself from wanting more, needing more. Being with you has always felt right. I hope you believe me.”
She folded her arms over her chest. “I know you were just doing your job … but it still hurts. I don’t want a relationship where I can’t trust the person I’m involved with.”
She twisted her hands together nervously and he watched her past rise up and haunt her once more. He reached over and
placed his hand over hers, steading them. “Tell me what happened to you. Why you struggle to let me in.”
She hiked one shoulder, not pulling her hands away. “I was treated like trash by a man I thought loved me. I trusted him not to hurt me and he did. He found pleasure in humiliating me in front of his friends.” Her eyes lifted to meet his. “I let him hurt me. I let me him convince me that I wasn’t attractive, that I wasn’t worthy of anything but trash. After a while, I believed everything he said.”
His heart raced, his jaw locking with the fury that settled in his muscles. He wanted to beat the shit out of her ex for making her believe the nonsense he’d spewed to her. “God, Brynn, he was so wrong and such a dick.”
With an emotion-filled sigh, she shook her head. “What was wrong was that I allowed him to control me that way. Thankfully, I was able to move on and I vowed to never let it happen again.”
Licking his lips, he told her, “He never should’ve done that to you to begin with. He was an asshole and he didn’t deserve you.”
She furrowed her brow. “But you think you do? A man who has lied to me?”
Bile choked him. “I’m nothing like him. I’d never hurt you.”
“But you have.”
“Not because I’m an asshole,” he argued. “Because I had a job to do and I didn’t want you involved.”
“But I’ve been involved since you walked through those doors,” she reminded him. “Since we had sex in the storeroom. Since I’ve never been able to tell you no. And damn it, I wanted to. Every damn time.”
“Why didn’t you?” he countered.
She groaned, sitting back in her chair. “Because you wouldn’t let me.”
He laughed harshly. “So you basically gave me your free will? No wonder you’re so inclined to compare me to that asshole.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it, as if realizing what she’d just said and done.
“I’m not him, Brynn.” He clasped one of her hands in his. “I’m nothing like him. My mother raised a gentleman. My father raised a man. I adore you. I always want you with me. I can’t get you out of my head. I go to bed thinking about you. I get up thinking about you.”
He closed his eyes briefly as the emotions of his needs surfaced, clouding his mind and ravaging his heart. “Brynn, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on and even after that night in the storeroom, when it was only supposed to be a onetime deal, I never would’ve been able to walk away from you. The feelings I had for you, I never had with anyone else. You’re my heart, Brynn, the reason my chest aches so damn much. The reason I can’t sleep, can’t eat. I’m lost without you.”
She gasped as he moved from his chair and knelt beside her. “Everything I’ve told you while we were together was true. The things about my family. How amazing I think you are. Everything.”
Her brow rose high on her forehead. “Do you even like motorcycles?”
“I love them,” he confessed. “It’s the reason I was chosen to go undercover in the first place. And I actually have three others in my garage at home.”
Her mouth quirked. “You don’t live in that apartment then?”
He shook his head. “No. I have a house and I’m afraid that I’m still a messy, unkempt person.” He glanced around the room. It was immaculate. Everything in her apartment had a place and the scent that filled the room was sweet and delicious, just like her. “Unlike you.”
Her mouth stayed pressed together, but her eyes twinkled with the warmth of his praise. “Your apartment really wasn’t that bad. You just needed a bigger trash can or a different diet. Pizza every night, really?” She rolled her eyes. “And you should invest in a hamper for all those dirty clothes.”
He smiled. “I can do that.”
“Good. That should help.”
With the mood less tense, he took a chance to beg with class. “Go out with me again, Brynn. Let’s start over. Let me prove to you that I’m a man worthy of you.”
Her face was expressionless as she gazed down at him and he wasn’t sure what to think. The pounding of his heart was so intense he thought his ribs might crack.
“Talk to me, Brynn,” he whispered. “Please.”
Her eyes were the most beautiful shade of hazel he’d ever seen as the slow smile curled her lips. “How about a bowling rematch?”
Chapter Fourteen
There was no way Brynn was going to be able to stay mad at Reid after hearing his heartfelt emotions. Sam had already offered her encouraging words, and truthfully, she’d already wanted to forgive him. It had been her wounded ego and pride that had made it a little difficult. But there was something sexy about a man who put his life on the line for a good cause. Reid had done that. And other than getting used to calling him something new, he was really the same person with whom she’d fallen in love.
And now it was time to start enjoying their time together again. Since their first date had been bowling, it only made sense for their new first date to be the same. And just to make things interesting, there was once again a wager on the table. But this time, she had every intention of letting him win. If this victory was anything like the last, it would only lead to pleasures she couldn’t wait to bask in.
Not to mention, bowling with Reid gave her a prime opportunity to scope out his delectable ass. He was so firm she could easily bounce a quarter off his body. Wiping the drool from her chin, she grinned.
“Are you ogling me again?” he asked, his voice filled with humor.
“Yep,” she admitted. “You really are built nicely.”
He faced her. “Is this your strategy for winning? Distract me with sexual looks that only make me what to bend you over that table and have my way with you?”
She arched a brow. “Is it working?”
He looked up at the scoreboard and frowned. “Wait, are you letting me win?” Reid asked, his gaze scrutinizing.
Stifling her laugh, she told him, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
His jaw relaxed, his eyes bright. “Holy shit, you are. You’re letting me win because you want me to … oh, I see.” The lights of awareness flickered in his gaze. “You’re a naughty little girl, Brynn Sloan.”
She removed all traces of emotions from her face, except surprise. “What?”
“Just because you’re sitting there in that low-cut, breast-hugging T-shirt and painted-on jeans doesn’t mean I don’t see right through you.” He scoffed, looking offended. “You’re using me, as if I’m some kind of man candy just waiting to be devoured.”
She laughed. Hard. They were so playful with one another, it was hard to believe that they’d spent any time apart. She missed him terribly and couldn’t wait to get him alone.
She stood up. Her casual outfit was a new addition to her wardrobe, one she hoped he liked. Reid had helped her to feel more confident and she was taking steps to wear things that helped her to feel sexy, but gave her a little more coverage. It might’ve also had something to do with that fact that she didn’t want men looking at her the way he did. She only wanted his eyes on her body and no one else’s. “You never said if you liked my new look.”
He put the bowling ball down and closed the distance between them, cupping her face, weaving his fingers through her hair. “I love it. The sex kitten, girl-next-door look really works for you.” She poked him in the ribs and they laughed. “You’re beautiful in everything you wear. But … if I’m being honest, I do tend to enjoy you naked most of all.”
She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck to kiss him. “I’m so glad you said that. I really would like to finish up this game so we can get back to my place.”
“Forfeit then,” he told her, nipping at her neck.
“Okay, you win. I give up.” She eased back to meet his wild eyes. “Please show me no mercy.”
He grinned. “As you wish, but we’re not going to your place,” he said, making her curious. “I’m taking you to my home. There are three motorcycles
in my garage I’ve been fantasizing about showing you.”
Naughty and wicked things filled her mind. “Fantasizing about what, exactly?”
He pulled her close, rubbing his hard length against her. A fiery heat welled in her belly and moisture pooled between her legs. With his breath in her ear, he explained, “The first bike I want you spread wide on. I want to feast my eyes on you, all slick and hot and ready for my mouth and tongue. The second bike I want you mounted on me and riding my cock. The third—”
“Let me guess, my mouth … your cock.” She licked her lips, feeling the muscles in his arms flex as he held her.
“Damn, I need another bike.”
She laughed. “I’ll bring mine. There are some fantasies I’ve got of my own.”
A deep-throated groan escaped him. “Tell me it has you wearing that tight black corset, thigh-high boots, and those red and black lacy panties I stole.” He kissed her, biting into her lower lips. “There are so many things I want to do to you right now, it’s not even funny.”
She purred like a kitten, her nipples beading against his chest as her blood heated with the needs tearing through her. She sucked in a breath and whispered, “Do any of those fantasies have your cock fucking my ass? Mine does.”
He leaned back, his eyes wide. “Damn it, woman, how the hell am I supposed to walk out of here sporting this?” He looked down and so did she. The outline of his very impressive cock was practically tearing through his jeans and she giggled playfully.
“I wish I could say that I’m sorry, but I’m not.”
“Yeah, I know you’re not. You’re torturing me and I think you like it.” He kissed her. “Now give me a second to get my dick under control so we can get out of here.”
“Okay,” she said, turning to get her shoes, but before she could, he pulled her back into his arms. “Whatever happened to needing time?”
He cupped her face, his eyes consumed with emotions. “I need to tell you something, Brynn. Something that’s been on my mind for a long time.”