The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — Complete

by T. Smollett

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  THE STEP-DAME'S SUSPICIONS BEING AWAKENED, SHE LAYS A SNARE FOR OURADVENTURER, FROM WHICH HE IS DELIVERED BY THE INTERPOSITION OF HIS GOODGENIUS.

  Though the husband swallowed the bait without further inquiry, thepenetration of the wife was not so easily deceived. That same dialoguein Wilhelmina's apartment, far from allaying, rather inflamed hersuspicion; because, in the like emergency, she herself had once profitedby the same, or nearly the same contrivance. Without communicating herdoubts to the father, she resolved to double her attention to thedaughter's future conduct, and keep such a strict eye over the behaviourof our gallant, that he should find it very difficult, if not impossible,to elude her observation. For this purpose she took into her pay an oldmaiden, of the right sour disposition, who lived in a house opposite toher own, and directed her to follow the young lady in all her outgoings,whenever she should receive from the window a certain signal, which themother-in-law agreed to make for the occasion. It was not long beforethis scheme succeeded to her wish. The door of communication betwixtWilhelmina's apartment and the staircase being nailed up by thejeweller's express order, our adventurer was altogether deprived of thoseopportunities he had hitherto enjoyed, and was not at all mortified tofind himself so restricted in a correspondence which began to be tiresomeand disagreeable. But the case was far otherwise with his Dulcinea,whose passion, the more it was thwarted, raged with greater violence,like a fire, that, from the attempts that are made to extinguish it,gathers greater force, and flames with double fury.

  Upon the second day of her misfortune, she had written a very tenderbillet, lamenting her unhappiness in being deprived of those meetingswhich constituted the chief joy of her life, and entreating him tocontrive some means of renewing the delicious commerce in an unsuspectedplace. This intimation she proposed to convey privately into the hand ofher lover, during his next visit to the family; but both were so narrowlyeyed by the mother, that she found the execution of her designimpracticable; and next forenoon, on pretence of going to church,repaired to the house of a companion, who, being also her confidant,undertook to deliver the billet with her own hand.

  The she-dragon employed by her mother, in obedience to the sign which wasdisplayed from the window immediately put on her veil, and followedWilhelmina at a distance, until she saw her fairly housed. She would noteven then return from her excursion, but hovered about in sight of thedoor, with a view of making further observations. In less than fiveminutes after the young lady disappeared, the scout perceived her comingout, accompanied by her comrade, from whom she instantly parted, and benther way towards the church in good earnest, while the other steered hercourse in another direction. The duenna, after a moment's suspense andconsideration, divined the true cause of this short visit, and resolvedto watch the motions of the confidant, whom she traced to the academy inwhich our hero lodged, and from which she saw her return, after thesupposed message was delivered.

  Fraught with this intelligence, the rancorous understrapper hied her hometo the jeweller's wife, and made a faithful recital of what she had seen,communicating at the same time her own conjectures on that subject. Heremployer was equally astonished and incensed at this information. Shewas seized with all that frenzy which takes possession of a slightedwoman, when she finds herself supplanted by a detested rival; and, in thefirst transports of her indignation, devoted them as sacrifices to hervengeance. Nor was her surprise so much the effect of his dissimulation,as of his want of taste and discernment. She inveighed against him, notas the most treacherous lover, but as the most abject wretch, in courtingthe smiles of such an awkward dowdy, while he enjoyed the favours of awoman who had numbered princes in the train of her admirers. For thebrilliancy of her attractions, such as they at present shone, sheappealed to the decision of her minister, who consulted her ownsatisfaction and interest, by flattering the other's vanity andresentment; and so unaccountable did the depravity of our hero's judgmentappear to this conceited dame, that she began to believe there was somemistake in the person, and to hope that Wilhelmina's gallant was not inreality her professed admirer, Mr. Fathom, but rather one of hisfellow-lodgers, whose passion he favoured with his mediation andassistance.

  On this notion, which nothing but mere vanity could have inspired, inopposition to so many more weighty presumptions, she took the resolutionof bringing the affair to a fuller explanation, before she would concertany measures to the prejudice of our adventurer, and forthwith despatchedher spy back to his lodgings, to solicit, on the part of Wilhelmina, animmediate answer to the letter he had received. This was an expeditionwith which the old maiden would have willingly dispensed, because it wasfounded upon an uncertainty, which might be attended with troublesomeconsequences; but, rather than be the means of retarding a negotiation soproductive of that sort of mischief which is particularly agreeable toall of her tribe, she undertook to manage and effect the discovery, infull confidence of her own talents and experience.

  With such a fund of self-sufficiency and instigation, she repaired to theacademy on the instant, and inquiring for Mr. Fathom, was introduced tohis apartment, where she found him in the very act of writing a billet tothe jeweller's daughter. The artful agent having asked, with themysterious air of an expert go-between, if he had not lately received amessage from a certain young lady, and, being answered in theaffirmative, gave him to understand, that she herself was a personfavoured with the friendship and confidence of Wilhelmina, whom she hadknown from her cradle, and often dandled on her knee; then, in thegenuine style of a prattling dry nurse, she launched out in encomiums onhis Dulcinea's beauty and sweetness of temper, recounting many simpleoccurrences of her infancy and childhood; and, finally, desiring a morecircumstantial answer to that which she had sent to him by her friendCatherina. In the course of her loquacity she had also, according to herinstructions, hinted at the misfortune of the door; and, on the whole,performed her cue with such dexterity and discretion that our politicianwas actually overreached, and, having finished his epistle, committed itto her care, with many verbal expressions of eternal love and fidelity tohis charming Wilhelmina.

  The messenger, doubly rejoiced at her achievement, which not onlyrecommended her ministry, but also gratified her malice, returned to herprincipal with great exultation, and, delivering the letter, the readerwill easily conceive the transports of that lady when she read thecontents of it in these words:--

  "ANGELIC WILHELMINA!--To forget those ecstatic scenes we have enjoyedtogether, or even live without the continuation of that mutual bliss,were to quit all title to perception, and resign every hope of futurehappiness. No! my charmer, while my head retains the least spark ofinvention, and my heart glows with the resolution of a man, ourcorrespondence shall not be cut off by the machinations of an enviousstepmother, who never had attractions to inspire a generous passion; and,now that age and wrinkles have destroyed what little share of beauty sheonce possessed, endeavours, like the fiend in paradise, to blast thosejoys in others, from which she is herself eternally excluded. Doubt not,dear sovereign of my soul! that I will study, with all the eagerness ofdesiring love, how to frustrate her malicious intention, and renew thosetransporting moments, the remembrance of which now warms the breast ofyour ever constant FATHOM."

  Had our hero murdered her father, or left her a disconsolate widow, byeffecting the death of her dear husband, there might have been apossibility of her exerting the Christian virtues of resignation andforgiveness; but such a personal outrage as that contained in thisepistle precluded all hope of pardon, and rendered penitence of nosignification. His atrocious crime being now fully ascertained, thisvirago gave a loose to her resentment, which became so loud andtempestuous, that her informer shuddered at the storm she had raised, andbegan to repent of having communicated the intelligence which seemed tohave such a violent effect upon hex brain.

  She endeavoured, however, to allay the agitation, by flattering her fancywith the prospect of reveng
e, and gradually soothed her into a state ofdeliberate ire; during which she determined to take ample vengeance onthe delinquent. In the zenith of her rage, she would have had immediaterecourse to poison or steel, had she not been diverted from her mortalpurpose by her counsellor, who represented the danger of engaging in suchviolent measures, and proposed a more secure scheme, in the execution ofwhich she would see the perfidious wretch sufficiently punished, withoutany hazard to her own person or reputation. She advised her to informthe jeweller of Fathom's efforts to seduce her conjugal fidelity, andimpart to him a plan, by which he would have it in his power to detectour adventurer in the very act of practising upon her virtue.

  The lady relished her proposal, and actually resolved to make anassignation with Ferdinand, as usual, and give notice of the appointmentto her husband, that he might personally discover the treachery of hispretended friend, and inflict upon him such chastisement as the German'sbrutal disposition should suggest, when inflamed by that species ofprovocation. Had this project been brought to bear, Ferdinand, in alllikelihood, would have been disqualified from engaging in any futureintrigue; but fate ordained that the design should be defeated, in orderto reserve him for more important occasions.

  Before the circumstances of the plan could be adjusted, it was his goodfortune to meet his Dulcinea in the street, and, in the midst of theirmutual condolence on the interruption they had suffered in theircorrespondence, he assured her, that he would never give his inventionrespite, until he should have verified the protestations contained in theletter he had delivered to her discreet agent. This allusion to a billetshe had never received, did not fail to alarm her fears, and introduce avery mortifying explanation, in which he so accurately described theperson of the messenger, that she forthwith comprehended the plot, andcommunicated to our hero her sentiments on that subject.

  Though he expressed infinite anxiety and chagrin at this misfortune,which could not fail to raise new obstacles to their love, his heart wasa stranger to the uneasiness he affected; and rather pleased with theoccasion, which would furnish him with pretences to withdraw himselfgradually from an intercourse by this time become equally cloying andunprofitable. Being well acquainted with the mother's temperament, heguessed the present situation of her thoughts, and concluding she wouldmake the jeweller a party in her revenge, he resolved from that moment todiscontinue his visits, and cautiously guard against any future interviewwith the lady whom he had rendered so implacable.

  It was well for our adventurer that his good fortune so seasonablyinterposed; for that same day, in the afternoon, he was favoured with abillet from the jeweller's wife, couched in the same tender style she hadformerly used, and importing an earnest desire of seeing him next day atthe wonted rendezvous. Although his penetration was sufficient toperceive the drift of this message, or at least to discern the risk heshould run in complying with her request, yet he was willing to be morefully certified of the truth of his suspicion, and wrote an answer to thebillet, in which he assured her, that he would repair to the place ofappointment with all the punctuality of an impatient lover.Nevertheless, instead of performing this promise, he, in the morning,took post in a public-house opposite to the place of assignation, inorder to reconnoitre the ground, and about noon had the pleasure ofseeing the German, wrapped in a cloak, enter the door of his wife'sshe-friend, though the appointment was fixed at five in the evening.Fathom blessed his good angel for having conducted him clear of thisconspiracy, and kept his station with great tranquillity till the hour ofmeeting, when he beheld his enraged Thalestris take the same route, andenjoyed her disappointment with ineffable satisfaction.

  Thus favoured with a pretext, he took his leave of her, in a letter,giving her to understand, that he was no stranger to the barbarous snareshe had laid for him; and upbraiding her with having made such anungrateful return for all his tenderness and attachment. She was notbackward in conveying a reply to this expostulation, which seemed to havebeen dictated in all the distraction of a proud woman who sees hervengeance baffled, as well as her love disdained. Her letter was nothingbut a succession of reproaches, menaces, and incoherent execrations. Shetaxed him with knavery, insensibility, and dissimulation; imprecated athousand curses upon his head, and threatened not only to persecute hislife with all the arts that hell and malice could inspire, but also towound him in the person of her daughter-in-law, who should be enclosedfor life in a convent, where she should have leisure to repent of thoseloose and disorderly practices which he had taught her to commit, and ofwhich she could not pretend innocence, as they had it in their power toconfront her with the evidence of her lover's own confession. Yet allthis denunciation was qualified with an alternative, by which he wasgiven to understand, that the gates of mercy were still open, and thatpenitence was capable of washing out the deepest stain of guilt.

  Ferdinand read the whole remonstrance with great composure andmoderation, and was content to incur the hazard of her hate, rather thanput her to the trouble of making such an effort of generosity, as wouldinduce her to forgive the heinous offence he had committed; nor did hisapprehension for Wilhelmina in the least influence his behaviour on thisoccasion. So zealous was he for her spiritual concerns, that he wouldhave been glad to hear she had actually taken the veil; but he knew sucha step was not at all agreeable to her disposition, and that no violencewould be offered to her inclinations on that score, unless her stepmothershould communicate to the father that letter of Fathom's which she hadintercepted, and by which the German would be convinced of his daughter'sbacksliding; but this measure, he rightly supposed, the wife would notventure to take, lest the husband, instead of taking her advice touchingthe young lady, should seek to compromise the affair, by offering her inmarriage to her debaucher, a proffer which, if accepted, would overwhelmthe mother with vexation and despair. He therefore chose to trust to theeffects of lenient time, which he hoped would gradually weaken theresentment of this Penthesilea, and dissolve his connexion with the otherparts of the family, from which he longed to be totally detached.

  How well soever he might have succeeded in his attempts to shake off theyoke of the mother, who by her situation in life was restrained fromprosecuting those measures her resentment had planned against hisfortitude and indifference, he would have found greater difficulty thanhe had foreseen, in disengaging himself from the daughter, whoseaffections he had won under the most solemn professions of honour andfidelity, and who, now she was debarred of his company and conversation,and in danger of losing him for ever, had actually taken the resolutionof disclosing the amour to her father, that he might interpose in behalfof her peace and reputation, and secure her happiness by the sanction ofthe church.