by Inia Jardine
I have figured out that blood is not thicker than water, these two have none of my blood in them but they are my world. Well, that is not entirely true. Jonah did get a bit of my blood through the transfusion.
Like my pets - I love them so much. I wish they could have been here too. It is not about blood ties, it is about what is in your heart, who you truly love, and who truly loves you. Ohana is more than genetics. Ohana is family. Love-bonded family.
‘Thanks Laurelle, we will be there at noon then. Greatly appreciated. Goodbye.’
‘We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz’ Jonah sings as he crawls back under the covers and starts to play hide and seek with Cynthe. She just loves him and gurgles happily as he comes closer stealthily. I just laugh as he is still naked and dangling the goods under the duvet. There is this warm and fuzzy feeling in my tummy and I feel tears starting to run down my cheeks involuntarily.
‘And now Chameleon? Am I such a pitiful sight?’
‘Such a lovely sight, you and Cynthe. Just keep the family jewels covered up and don’t scare her! The contrast of your size and her tiny being, so close together in affection and love. I love you both and I must never ever forget to tell you that about a million times a day.’
‘We love you too Lily-white. The big ogre and the little dwarf both.’ He kisses me and Cynthe squiggles wildly to get out from between us.
‘Let’s get this show on the road. We have an appointment with Mr Cubaman at noon, and he has apparently invited us to a light plantation lunch.’
‘Can’t wait to see Gorgoleta Estate again. Maybe we should take our bathing costumes in case he invites us for a dip in your lovely old rock pool.’
We have breakfast at La Jam‘ca Café and after visiting some of Jonah’s old colleagues who got in touch after his recent ordeal, we leave for Gorgoleta. As we near the Estate in our rental car, all sorts of feelings pass through me like slowly expanding ripples in a pond.
Happy and sad memories, the feeling of loss as I remember our first time here. Jonah with two perfect strong legs showing me around the gardens, our lovemaking, our silly fight, all that which came after to turn him into a cripple. No, that is not the correct word. He is imperfectly perfect.
Cynthe coming into our lives and then apprehension when I think of the imminent meeting with the new owner of Jonah’s old inheritance. I hope our visit here is not the wrong thing to do.
I feel secure in my relationship with this big man now, and we can face anything together. I feel joy and wonder as I look at him and Cynthe here with me after what feels like a lifetime since coming to Jamaica on a short holiday just over two short years ago.
Who would have thought lonely old me could be so happy and have such a full life?
We drive up to the gate and notice the security cameras zoom closer to the car. The guards salute and the gates open automatically. We continue slowly towards the house, all along the driveway through the extensive gardens. It is looking splendid and we slow down further to take it all in. The trees look magnificent and the view is still breathtakingly beautiful.
The man waiting for us on the patio is tall and dark haired, dressed in a white linen suit with open necked floral shirt which makes him look like a plantation owner of old. I suppose he is just that. As we park the car, he walks towards us and stretches his hand out in greeting. 'Prof and Mrs Hibbert, Laurelle told me a lot about you. May I call you Jonah? It is a great pleasure to meet the previous owner of Gorgoleta.’
‘Mr Coelho? We appreciate you meeting up with us. Of course, I am Jonah, and this lovely lady here is Lilia and this is our baby Cynthe. We are glad to see that the place is in such good hands. It is looking great.’
‘I love kids; may I hold her?’ he looks at her with such tenderness that I hand her to him without hesitation.
‘Come, please follow me. The name is Henri, let us go and have a drink on the patio. What would you like to drink? Would G & T’s be in order as I understand that you are British, Lilia? I mix a mean drink if I say so myself.’
‘Yes thanks, Henri, that would be refreshing. I didn’t think you would make it yourself though, thought you would just pull a rope to summon a slave. No offence, but you look like the quintessential plantation owner of old.’
‘None taken. I may own a coffee plantation but I am a naturalist, a conservationist and a humanist. No servants or slaves for me! I have rehabilitated the sugar fields, turned them into habitats for the birds and butterflies, kept the coffee plantation and brought back many kinds of indigenous fauna and flora. Even some breadfruit. I do have gardeners though who keep this place flourishing and housekeepers who tidy up when it gets too messy, but otherwise I rely on myself.'
‘I like that Henri; you share our sentiments.’
As we sip our gin and tonics and look out over the bay, Henri starts quizzing Jonah.
‘Jonah, tell me interesting tales about the place and its history. For how many generations have your family owned the Estate?'
‘It would be for about two hundred years plus, that would make it roughly five generations I suppose. But I don’t really want to talk about it if you don’t mind. It is a sensitive subject.’
‘I would like you to talk about it Jonah, as our history is not something to be ashamed of. I have made peace with my past and I would like you to make peace too.'
'Not to offend Henri but what does my past have to do with yours?'
' I have to come clean about something. I never wanted you to know but when you came here enquiring about me, I changed my mind. I heard about your misfortunes and decided that life is too short and unpredictable. I don't want to hide any more, and I wanted so much to have a family again.
I am a lonely old man, who has not been happy since I knew your mom Jonah, I was in love with Hyacinth and you must be my son. That will make Cynthe here my granddaughter.’
For the third time in as many months a bomb shell has been dropped on us. Poor Jonah, his emotions have been on a roller coaster ride for months now and it does not look like it will stop soon.
‘What!’ Jonah exclaims as he jumps up and grabs Henri by the shirt front. ‘Hand me back my daughter NOW! You bastard! Where the fuck have you been for fifty-three fucking years? Where the fuck were you when my mother died? What makes you think that I believe you or want to know anything about you? You bought this place and invited us here under false pretences. Henri Coelho my ass. If you are my father, your name is Arluin, not Henri.
Come Lilia, we are leaving.’
‘Jonah my love, please calm down. Let us just leave quietly’ and I rush to meet up with Jonah who storms to the car with a crying Cynthe in his arms. She is not used to such aggression. Guess I can’t blame him or her for being upset.
I turn to Henri apologetically and say ‘Goodbye Henri, thanks for the drinks. I think Jonah is in shock.’
‘Jonah! Can’t you let bygones be bygones?' Henri calls after Jonah who is by now in the car. 'I have paid for my sins my whole life. I have changed. Let me have a chance to prove it to you. My first name is Arluin, I just don’t use it any more. I’m sorry son, I am so sorry.’
Jonah ignores his pleas and with squealing tyres we depart Gorgoleta Estate. We drive or shall I say race back to the hotel. Jonah is furious and almost knocks over several pedestrians. His emotions are in turmoil.
‘Jonah, please slow down, you are scaring me.’
As we screech to a halt at the hotel, he crumples in his seat. The big man seems to shrink before my eyes like a deflating balloon.
'Jonah, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for what life has thrown at you, and continues to throw at you. Just know that you'll never have to walk alone. I will always be with you. Always. Just lean on me.'
'Let's go home Lilia. I need to get away from here and never come back. Enough is enough.
Parents can surely fuck up their children right into their old age.'
22
Xanadu - Arumvale UK
'Bloody
hell Jonah! Did you have to creep up on me like that?' I squeal like a girl and give him a smack on the arm. We have only been back home for a week and I am already tensed up. Everything here just reminds me what happened with the whole abduction saga. I am scared and see danger behind every bush.
'Look what you have done now, red wine makes such a mess and on the lovely white pillows!'
To my utter dismay I start crying. The events of the past few months are still very fresh in my mind and my nerves are on edge. I have always been a strong person but now I am a wreck. I see danger behind every bush.
'Sorry my love' Jonah murmurs and pulls me towards him. 'I will clean it up, just let me hold you. Are you never going to relax again?' He gently but firmly takes the empty glass from me and starts kissing me with so much love that I melt into him. He is my world, my rock.
I have just taken a breather on the cushy bamboo settee under the pergola Jonah built in our garden, with my glass of red wine after I bathed and put Cynthe down for her nap. This is where Jonah managed to startle me. I should have known that it was OK, Kiki showed no signs of agitation where she was lying here with me as Jonah approached from behind.
It has just all been too much and even though we have tried to make it work, some things are just too broken to fix. We may have to leave our oasis, our home named Xanadu.
'Lilia, I came to tell you that I have been out at the waterfall, just thinking. You know that I love this place we have built together, I will miss the beauty and so will you but we can start again somewhere. I want to suggest something which will be hard for me personally, but for all of us it may be better in the long run. I have done some introspection and know that I am wrong to hate my dad for what he did to my mom. He is a lonely old man now and if you agree, we can go and stay with him on the estate for a short or extended period of time.
He has made that offer to me in writing. He emailed me this morning, got my contact details from Laurelle. He apparently would love to have you, me and Cynthe there to make amends as he calls it. I will have to work hard on our relationship, we will both have to, but I do believe now that I overreacted.'
'Jonah...'
'Wait, don't interrupt darling. Now I know that the animals are very important to you, to us, and I will find out what it will take to relocate them to Jamaica. I love you Lilia, with all my heart and I want you to be happy. You left South Africa because you were not safe in your own home and that has now unfortunately become truth again. Who knows when Carl and Vatjer will be released. What do you think - shall I contact my father?'
I look at my dearest husband with astonishment. 'You will do that Jonah? The same man who drove away from the estate and vowed never to set foot there again? You will do that for me?'
'As you know Lilia, I will do anything for you, and you have proven that you will do anything for me. We do this for us, for our comfort and safety and for our future as a family with Cynthe. I will fly out to see my dad face to face and talk this through with him before we go. We can get a pretty penny for our land and we don't have to mooch off him for long. Not that he is financially lacking in any way, shape or form, but I will feel better if we can contribute. If needs be I can go back to work at the Institute.'
'Wow Jonah, this is sudden. Let's just keep it as an extended holiday for now and keep our options open. I can leave the cats and Kiki with Bella and Howie for a while if I must but I would prefer to take them with us. They will have the baby soon to worry about. The animals are part of our family. I would miss them too much.
I am so proud of you for being willing to patch things up with your dad, he is after all your flesh and blood. I am actually getting excited! I love Jamaica. I want to go and wriggle my toes in the sand, teach Cynthe about the ocean and watch the sunrises over the ocean & sunsets over the mountains. Let’s go soon!'
Jonah squeezes me extra tightly and I get the distinct impression that he would like to take this momentous decision somewhere for celebration.
'Come Kiki, let’s go inside so I can show this man why we love him!'
As we enter our front door Jonah turns around and locks it, whips me around and pins me with my back against the door. He puts his hands on either side of my face and nuzzles my neck. 'I don't want to wait. Lilia I want you, always have and always will' and with that he kisses me until the world starts spinning.
His kisses are like the Cher song '...it's in his kiss, that's where it is...' He licks and nibbles and teases and mesmerises my lips until I am putty in his hands. Whilst the kiss deepens in fervour, he pulls down my pants and glides into me. I love to feel him kissing me while inside me at the same time. I feel so close to him that I know we are One Love. I will follow him to hell and back.
There is no need for a bed when Jonah is around. Standing up against the door is also okay because he makes you forget where you are. You forget all rules and pretences and you just love. Go with the flow.
We climb the mountain together and crash into heaven on the other side.
' I love you Big J' I manage to utter. ' I love you more than life itself.'
We sink onto the floor and cuddle in our post coital glow. ' I hope your dad will take into account that we may need privacy from time to time'.
Jonah laughs. 'He will be subtly reminded I assure you. We will give him Cynthe to look after while we have urgent business to attend to. Where is she by the way?'
'Napping in her cot, Sexy, you can be glad that she can't get out of it on her own yet. We are going to have to start behaving ourselves when she can. She can be ruined for life if she walks in on one of our sessions. I don't want her to grow up thinking sex is evil like I did. I was afraid of even looking at a naked man much less touch one.'
I softly touch that part of him so special to me. ' But I'm not anymore.'
'Thank goodness for that.'
'Have I ever told you the Wendy joke?'
'Hope you are not going to make fun of my prowess as a fifty something young man are you?'
'No, you idiot. Listen.
This Jamaican guy, we call him Sam, went to America. He had to use the restroom where there are lots of urinals in a long line. As guys apparently do he started chatting to other guys around him and one noticed that he had a name tattooed on his appendage. They spoke about tattoos of wives and girlfriends’ names and he asked Sam, so is your current girlfriend called Wendy then? What is going to happen when you break up with her - can you get a tattoo removed from your dick? All the guys went ‘OUCH’ in sympathy but Sam just laughed. He said no Mon, it says Wendy now because I am soft but when I am erect it says Welcome to Jamaica havE a Nice DaY!'
' So that's why you came to Jamaica you little bugger! To look for Wendy! I think you are going to have to apologize to someone for that joke at some stage. Be careful who you tell it to because there are men who may feel inferior. Like Carl Tomlinson! Not me though...not me.' Jonah waits for confirmation whilst tickling me.
'You know your strengths my man. What do you say. Let’s get tattoos Jonah, to celebrate our life together. Promise I will not make you get a Wendy on yours! It sure is perfect the way it was made. I had a boyfriend once who had a rod through his, it continuously grossed me out but he was so proud of it. Said his dick bled for days after he got it. Crazy.
I have always wanted a little frog or dragonfly or dolphin on my breast. Or a chameleon.
You can get one on your nice muscled arm or somewhere. Anything you like, a marlin or a whale or...' with that Cynthe starts crying and we morph from lovers to parents again for a while. But we have made progress, we are getting on with our future.
23
Jonah comes home the next afternoon with a plane ticket and news. 'Lilia, I have booked my ticket, I'm leaving to speak to my dad on Friday and coming back on Monday. Would you be able to get Bella to stay here with you while I am away or is she too involved with the baby?'
'I am sure she won't mind having a day or three of husband-less time with me' I grin. 'We may j
ust get up to no good while you are away. Have a good old fashioned Rave or something before she goes back to work. Something involving red wine and lots of girl talk about our sex lives. Oh shoot, she can't drink! She is breastfeeding.'
'Now I won't ever be able to look at Howie again without wondering what they get up to in bed. Shite, he is my friend I can't think of him naked.'