by Inia Jardine
'OK, so I won't tell you the details then I promise. I will keep it all to myself.'
'Well, maybe if you learn something from your Mayan Goddess friend be sure to include it in your welcoming routine when I get back' he says with a wicked grin. 'Now I am less worried about your safety and more worried about my private details being shared, mind you, I don't think I have anything to be ashamed of do I?'
'Never my love, never. You are my Love-god. Mine only mine. Be sure to remember that while you are away. Tell all your old girlfriends that I am an excellent shot. I should have kept Mrs slut’s finger to prove it.' I must admit that even though I trust Jonah completely I am still jealous. If someone disturbs our relationship they will have hell to pay, that I can guarantee.
As I drive back from dropping Jonah at the local airfield I suddenly get a cold chill down my spine. It is just a sudden Déjà vu, a feeling of being in a situation where something's not quite right, something's off. It is maybe a subconscious or sixth sense warning which I have come to realize that I should not ignore. I wonder whether the road to the airfield where the terrible crash happened or Jonah's departure to Jamaica triggered it. I should have brought Kiki along to keep me and Cynthe company.
Upon arriving home Kiki comes to greet us as normal but I still walk around the house with her to check that everything is in order. I will double check all the doors and windows tonight before Bella and I go to bed, just to make doubly sure that nobody can surprise us. I shake the ominous feeling off and go inside to prepare the guest room for Bella and little Olivia.
Our home is built in a square shape with an enclosed courtyard, all of the rooms leading - by way of glass sliding doors - into our central garden. We have created a lush garden with a natural rock surround pool painted in a dark blue and heated by a solar panel to enable us to use it all year round. Our solar panels can be moved mechanically to cover and enclose most of our courtyard during bad weather. This is now the only place that I feel truly safe. My grotto. But then, I can't really live my life only inside our home, I do have to venture out sometimes and as such become vulnerable.
I miss exploring our beautiful portion of land and just being free. Why do a few bad men - and women - always ruin that which is good and safe?'
Xanadu has lost its magic.
'Coming Bella! ' I call when the doorbell chimes. Can't wait for our girl time. Bella is my closest friend and we always have fun together. Even without wine.
'Hi Lilia, hi!' Bella and Howie say in unison with the same forced happy inflection in their voices.
'What's wrong you guys? Come in. Why do you sound so weird, so guilty? What have you two been up to? Where is Olivia?'
'Livvy is in the car, fast asleep. I'm so sorry Lilia but I won't be able to stay with you tonight. Or tomorrow night or the next for that matter. My sister needs me, she phoned in a state as she was in an accident and have nobody to babysit her boys. She has to stay overnight at the hospital for observation but even if she gets out tomorrow she will need some assistance. Her ex is unavailable and the boys are with a neighbour for a few hours till we can get there. I'm so sorry. I have to go. Do you want Howie to come and stay with you after he drops me off?'
Oh crap. That will be seriously weird and my first reaction is no. I will feel uncomfortable with just Bella's husband in the house with me and I would rather be alone with Cynthe and the animals.
'No silly, I will be fine. Howie, you stay over with Bella and I will phone you guys if I need you. I am sure we will be fine on our own for three nights until Jonah comes back.'
'We have to rush Lilia, sorry. Will phone you tomorrow, be good. Bye!'
After their abrupt departure I stand at the door with Cynthe in my arms and Kiki by my side and think. I will not be alone will I? I will be fine but I won't tell Jonah as he will worry. No wonder I had that premonition, I knew that something was up.
The phone rings just as I sit down to eat dinner. I have put Cynthe to bed for the night and am sitting in front of the fireplace with Kiki, Willow, Rainbow and Flower. We are going to have a really good pesto and garlic pizza that I have just made. With the complimentary glass of red wine of course.
'Jonah! It is so good to hear from you. Bella, Cynthe, Livvy and I are having so much fun we have decided to let you stay another few days.' It feels so horrible to lie to him but I have to.
'Yes, yes you say that now but wait till I tell you all my news.' He sounds excited.
'The cats can go inside the cabin in carriers but Kiki will unfortunately have to go in the cargo hold due to her size. Quarantine is only two weeks. My dad says that he has contacts at the Kingston Airport and he will try and get quarantine cancelled if we have certificates from the vet that they are not suffering from any diseases.
We can come as soon as we want because he has the guest cottage ready for us, enclosed garden and all. It is totally separate from the main house, safe for Cynthe and the animals and it is surrounded by bougainvillea and hibiscus. It's lovely, you would absolutely love it. You can hear and see the ocean from our room!'
'Sounds lovely Jonah. Except for Kiki in the cargo hold! How are things between you two?'
'It will be a long term project but we are working on it. The place is very safe in another way too, due to Henri's preoccupation with privacy. Tall fences electrified in places and guards at the gate who patrol regularly. Being a rich eccentric has its benefits.'
Trust Jonah to remember the details which are important to me. I have told him long ago that I sleep best when I can hear no people noise, just frogs chirping and waves crashing. I miss the sound of the ocean at night. I am not fussed by what a house looks like inside or what modern conveniences it has except for a hot shower and working loo! Other aspects carry more weight for me.
I will never forget the day I was looking at houses to rent when the woman showed me a house. It was squeezed in between others with no garden around, just bricks, no breathing space or privacy. She could not stop talking about how the kitchen was every woman's dream. I actually laughed at her and told her that the day I rent or buy a house because of its kitchen was the day I should be declared insane.
' I love you Jonah. Make all the arrangements you deem necessary - I trust you one hundred percent. I am ready to go when you say the word. Actually I can't wait! Do you think this will be the place of wind chimes tinkling and curtains billowing in the breeze that I have always dreamt of? Like Bali Hai?'
'Maybe my love, I believe it may be. It sits high above the ocean on a hilltop so it will catch the ocean breeze. So, have you and Bella shared any good secrets yet? You know the ones we spoke about?' Jonah's voice sounds like that of a curious boy trying to figure out what women have under their skirts.
'We have only just started our wine Jonah, give it time. Livvy and Cynthe say hi too! Love you miss you.' I try to say in as natural and happy a voice as possible. I will have to make up great seduction moves when he returns and give credit to Bella. Maybe I should read the Kama Sutra but it’s so boring.
'OK love, goodnight then and have fun. Miss you already. Give Cynthe a goodnight kiss from me. Talk to you tomorrow. Sleep with your hands under the blankets tonight you hear? I will be there with you in spirit.'
Jonah chuckles sexily as we hang up.
Phew, so that lie went down OK. I am getting good at this. Later I fall asleep in front of the fire with a smile on my face and dream of billowing curtains and tinkling wind chimes.
The fire has gone out during the night and I wake up shivering. I immediately beg morning cuddles from all my fur babies but I miss my big Jonah cuddle. Cynthe is crying and it is time for all those motherly things to start so I am not allowed to indulge in some pity fest because I am alone and miss him. I wrap her up warmly after letting Kiki out for her morning wee. Now it's back to bathing, clothing, warming up food, all those little person things that I have never had to do before.
But I have gotten used to it because I have had pets all my life and th
ey need everything babies do, except for clothing and education. Cynthe is such a good baby, and I have never regretted adopting her. I hope that she will be happy in Jamaica. I am getting so excited!
Kiki's short bark from the front door alerts me to possible visitors a few moments before the chime of the doorbell. Who would be visiting me so early in the morning? The strange faces staring at me as I peep through the spy hole don't ring any bells and look quite benign so I open the door.
'Mrs Hibbert?'
'Who would like to know?'
'I am François Belmore and this is my wife Claudia. May we come in?'
Belmore? Where have I heard that surname before? Oh yes of course, it was Jonah's daughter Solange's married name.
'It’s Lilia. Can I help you?' Stupid question but why are these people here? That accent sounds French.
'If we can have some tea with you please, we have something to discuss. May I hold the little girl for you? I so love children.'
'Claudia am I correct? Yes of course you can hold her, her name is Cynthe, but she wants her breakfast so I will be right back. After that, no problem with your tea order.'
A tad snippy of me but they are treating me like a servant. I wonder why they are here, and where they come from. Shit, if they are Armand's family, their relative died with Solange in that plane crash, I better go give condolences.
'François, Claudia, you caught me by surprise. Am I correct in assuming that you are related to Solange's husband Armand?' I nervously take Cynthe from the woman and begin to feed her.
'Yes, Indeed. Armand was our son.'
'I'm sorry for your loss.' Shit, what do they want? I hold Cynthe tighter.
'Mrs Hibbert, Lilia, we need to talk seriously. We are searching for our granddaughter Desiree. After we heard about the tragic plane crash we assumed that the baby was killed together with her parents. We have subsequently hired a private investigator and he told us that she is fine and that you have adopted her. Where is she?'
'You are looking at her. Cynthe here is, was Desiree.'
'But that child is black!' Claudia exclaims dramatically. François grabs her hand and shushes her gently.
Fuck, I hate racists.
'Jonah and I decided to rename Desiree to Cynthe, after Jonah's mother Hyacinth, when we adopted her. There were a lot of unanswered questions regarding Solange and Armand's presence here at the airfield on that fateful day. They became involved with quite unsavoury characters but I will spare you those details. Let the dead rest in peace.'
François looks at Claudia with an anxious glance.
'Anyway why are you so surprised at Cynthe's skin colour? Jonah is Jamaican so his daughter obviously had Jamaican blood?'
'But...but she was so light skinned, so beautiful...'
'Bloody hell woman, don't come into my house and throw around your French prejudices. Cynthe may be just under a year old but she can understand English very well. If you don't change your attitude this minute you are out on your pompous skinny white asses, you hear me?'
'I am sorry Mrs Hibbert, Lilia. My wife has been recovering from our son's death and is not herself. There, there little girl, may I hold you?'
I clutch Cynthe tighter. 'Tell me first, why are you here? What do you want with Cynthe?'
'May I ask you to call your husband to join us for a meeting?'
'Jonah is out of the country at the moment, he will be back on Monday. So you either speak to me or you go. A meeting about what?' Icy shivers are making their way down my spine now. Cynthe starts squirming and I realize that I am holding her too tightly.
'Well Mrs Hibbert, as you can see we have never seen Desiree, we were not able to go home to France last year as we had businesses and some real estate to sell in Manhattan. We owned several restaurants in the USA and lived there for the past ten years. We had a personal disagreement with our son Armand I am sorry to say, and we were not as close as we should have been. We met Solange only once quite a few years ago. So you can maybe understand our surprise?'
'At Armand’s baby being black?'
'Yes. It sounds harsh but it was really just shock. No, what is the word? Surprende, le etonnement...how do you say, the sudden astonishment of it?'
'Okay, but we are back to why are you here?'
'We would like to be part of her life.'
Now, who is shocked? Bloody hell Jonah why did you have to be away now? What do I do?
'Can I hold her please?'
If Claudia was not crying and looking quite contrite I would have refused but I reluctantly hand Cynthe to her. She in turn immediately touches Claudia's face and says 'aww'. She must be reacting to the tears.
'It’s okay baby, the lady is just a bit overwhelmed.'
'Little girl, dear little girl. You are my la petit fille.' Cynthe must be reacting to the softness of Claudia's voice as she smiles and hugs her. We are big on hugs in this family.
'What does that mean?' I don't like it when people say things I can't understand.
'It means granddaughter, grandchild. She is so precieux.'
That I get. Precious, yes she is precious to me and Jonah. His solitary link to his daughter he sadly only knew for such a short time.
'I think that you must give me time to talk to Jonah, I can't make decisions like these without him. Please could you come back on Monday?'
'May we invite you to dinner tonight? You and Cynthe?' François looks at me almost remorsefully.
No, I don't want to come home late in the dark with Jonah not here. I will have to get out of this. They must not know that I am afraid though.
'Why don't you come over for dinner here instead? It will be easier with Cynthe too. Would you be okay with vegetarian food? I have not cooked for a restaurateur before but my food is edible!'
'Pas de problème. No problem. I get tired of haute cuisine. We will bring the wine – a nice red?'
'Great. See you around seven?'
'We are looking forward to it. Goodbye Desiree. Oh sorry. Goodbye Cynthe.' Claudia looks at me guiltily.
Cynthe hugs both of them quite naturally. Maybe there is some truth in this blood is thicker than water thing after all. But they will have to play by our rules.
'Don't do that please, she will become confused. Her name is Cynthe.' I will try hard not to get pissed off at this woman. We wave to them at the door and continue our interrupted morning. I have to phone Jonah. I have to. I need him here.
'Hi Henri. How are you? It's Lilia. May I perhaps speak to Jonah please?' I look over to where Cynthe is playing with Kiki and the cats on the carpet. She is such a good kid. I have grown to love her fiercely over the past few months.
'Good day Lilia, what a wonderful surprise. I'm afraid Jonah is out on the estate with Patrick, my Manager who was Jonah’s manager before, but I will ask him to contact you. I am looking forward to getting to know you and my granddaughter better. I trust that you are both fine?'
'Yes thanks Henri, I can also not wait to get to Jamaica. Thanks so much for inviting us. I have had my fill of the UK now. With all of these things that have been happening, well, I need some peace.'
'You will get that here. And lots of sun!' Henri laughs. 'I will try and find Jonah, he will call you soon. Hasta luego, see you soon!'
~
'Hey Lilia. You missing me?' That voice can still make me go weak. It is so deep and sexy. With that twinkle of laughter always bubbling under.
'Hey Jonah. If you were here I would show you just how much I miss you. Please come home. We need you.'
'What's wrong my love? I was thinking to myself just now that the four of you must be having so much fun without me. That not true?'
'Jonah. I need you to come home okay? Please? Could you?'
'Lilia you are scaring me. What is wrong?'
'Just come okay? We are fine. Just come. I need to talk to you.'
'Lilia I am not used to you being needy so I will have to assume that something is not right. I will get there as soon as I can.
Okay?'
'Okay. I love you. Be safe.'
'Love you. You be safe too. See you as soon as I can. Will phone you from the airfield okay?'