Love, Lies and Louboutins (Heartbreak Book 2)
Page 6
In the past thirty minutes, I think I’ve discovered more about Nathaniel than I could have ever possibly imagined. Not only does he only wear black boxers because apparently there’s nothing more sexy and attractive than a hot brooding male in dark briefs as ‘they keep the goods a hidden mystery until you’re ready to display them’ — his words not mine, but he also likes to spend his weekends bingeing on re-runs of America’s next Top Model. Also, wait for it… he also auditioned for a part in STEPS and only went and got the gig too. However, life as a glorified popstar was not meant to be for good old Nathaniel as after one too many he took a tumble and fractured his hip, leaving him with no other option than to pull out of his lifelong dream. I won’t lie, I’m absolutely gutted. I bloody loved STEPS and I’m absolutely certain I would have loved them a whole lot more had Nathaniel been a part of it. Actually, I reckon I would have been one of those super fans that stalked them everywhere they went. I’m not afraid to say that yes, I am pretty obsessive when it comes to my interests. Just look at my drinking habit, which sadly I’m not allowed to indulge in right now.
“You know,” he says after some time, “I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason,” he smiles a big bright smile while he says this, and he’s no doubt reminiscing in his mind.
“So, what is it you do now?” I ask before I can stop myself.
Nathaniel laughs a big hearty laugh before he answers, and that makes me more nervous than I was when I first laid my eyes on him — and that’s a hell of a lot of nerves let me tell you. Then again, maybe I don’t really want to know the answer to my question after all. “I’m not all too sure if you’re ready for that just yet.” He teases.
“Oh, come on.” Now I know he’s trying to wind me up. He’s doing this to gauge what type of person I am, and to see what buttons he can press to get a reaction. “Look, I know I may look all innocent, but trust me no matter what it is, I’m pretty sure I can take it.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt that, darling,” he scoffs back at me and throws me a wink too. Oh my God. I can practically feel the heat flooding my cheeks. Bloody hell, me, and my big mouth. I’m never going to learn.
“I didn’t mean…” I begin but the words won’t form, and now I’m left to look like a blundering mess.
“Darling, I’m only playing with you. I just wanted to see what kind of person I was dealing with. I love to see what kind of reaction I can get out of people.”
“Oh, I see…” I bloody knew it. I knew I was on to him. You know, me and Nathaniel could be amazing friends. We’re like the same person just with different body parts. Well, at least I think so anyways.
“Lawrence is going to adore you, I just know it. I can’t wait for the two of you to meet.”
Ah, Lawrence. I’m guessing he’s the lucky chap who’s about to marry this little charmer. A small part of me doesn’t want to say that out loud in case I’ve read the signs all wrong and Lawrence turns out to be the Best Man or something. Bloody hell, I’d look like a right massive tit, then wouldn’t I? Instead I settle on discreet and say eagerly, “Tell me more,” while rummaging for my pen and notebook from the bottomless pit that is my bag.
I can’t wait to get a better feel for their personalities. This is going to be one hell of an event to plan and I cannot wait to enjoy every second of it.
“Hell no. Vinnie’s not going anywhere.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard exactly what I just said.” I slowly turn to face Matt with my perfectly practiced pout before continuing, “he stays and that is final.”
“But…” Matt says, but I cut him off straight away. This is not open for discussion. Why the hell can’t he get that into his head?
“Look, he’s been there for me during some of my most darkest nights and who knows when I might need to seek comfort with him again?”
“You won’t, you’ve got me.” He huffs dramatically and looks disapprovingly back at me. “But that’s not the point here. Look, Emily, there’s a hell of a lot of stuff I would do for you in a heartbeat…”
“You would?” I chime in, my attention now fully alerted to this promise of goodness. “Tell me more about this stuff,”
As much as I want him to, Matt doesn’t take my bait and continues on his mini meltdown of a rant, “But not this. This is fucking ridiculous.”
“No?” I ask a little too flatly, all traces of humour have now left the building and gone to only God knows where.
“No.” He snaps. “No fucking way am I sharing an underwear drawer with a fucking vibrator. A vibrator that you’ve named Vinnie. It’s just wrong. You act like it has feelings or some shit.”
“Oh, trust me, it has and gives all the feelings.” Matt doesn’t find my witty comment all that funny as he continues to stand in front of me and glare. To be fair, he looks pretty damn hot like this but I need to remind myself that I need to stand my ground here. He will not dictate how I live my life and he sure as hell won’t be telling me what I can and can’t have in my drawers. “Fine,” I reply, throwing my hands up in the air like a crazy buffoon, while scowling back at this creature who has the audacity to call himself my boyfriend. “You can keep your shit on the floor then, problem solved.”
Bloody hell. Who knew that telling him to ditch his man-bag and take a drawer would lead to so many problems. It’s a bloody vibrator, not a disease. I guess if he doesn’t feel all too comfortable sharing then he can revert back to using his beloved man-bag, or he could actually grow a set of balls and stick his belongings in another drawer. There are plenty to choose from.
I don’t see why my fiercely loyal vibrator should have to suffer in all of this. That’s been his home for years and now he’s going to think that there’s an intruder coming to take his place.
Well, I guess he is in some respects, but just because me and Matt do the jiggy-jiggy doesn’t mean we won’t have blazing rows which will most definitely land him in taking up residency on the couch for at least a week and then what am I supposed to do?
Sometimes a girl needs to keep her true friend. As much as I care about Matt, he’s male and somewhere down the line he’s going to royally fuck up — it’s inevitable, and then we won’t talk for a little while and it’s not like I can just walk up to him and say “hey dickhead, I really don’t like you right now, but do us a favour, please can you let me sit on your knob because I’ve got a feeling down there that needs some attention and quick.”
No, that’s never going to happen. So, it’s final. Vinnie stays.
“Why do you have to be so dramatic? You’ve got all the stuff you need right here,” he says while slowly running his hands down his mighty fine body before coming to a stop and gripping his crotch firmly.
“I know,” I smile back, “but, if you ever bring Vinnie into the equation again then I’m afraid you’ll have none of that stuff left.” I walk over to him, pulling my short frame up to him and I place a soft, delicate kiss on his chin. God, it sucks to be so short sometimes, especially when all he can do is laugh at me. He isn’t supposed to be laughing, he’s supposed to be apologising for being a prick.
“You know, I love it when you get all feisty, Parker,”
“I know you do, but I don’t like it when you turn into an absolute dickhead for no reason.”
Just as I’m about to leave the bedroom, he calls me back, “Hey… I meant to tell you earlier,” when I turn around, he stops suddenly and runs his hand along his stubble framed jaw, no doubt, not all that sure if he wants to proceed with what he’s started. He’s clearly stopped me for something important so I give him an eager nod to continue, secretly wishing he’d hurry up because I really need to pee and we all know how weak my bladder is these days. When he doesn’t say anything, I can’t help but think the worst. Oh my God, this is it. This is the moment when all my hopes and dreams of a happily ever after come crashing down around me as he tells me that it’s not working between us and he had no idea what he was letting himself in for. For
get the wee, I think I’m going to be sick. “I saw Graham earlier,” he says all too quickly, so fast that I almost missed it. “He was asking after you.”
“Oh…” is all I can manage to say, not one hundred percent sure how I feel about it. Hey, but on the plus side, at least I’m not getting dumped. Team Emily and Matt live to see another day.
As well as Matt’s boss, Graham was my old boss. A boss who always treated me well, right up until his psycho, vindictive daughter showed up and took it upon herself to destroy me and shatter my dreams. She clearly wasn’t all too happy that Daddy Dearest had an employee who was exceptional at her job. Hey, I’m totally allowed to blow my own trumpet here, because I was totally exceptional and everyone knew it, even that stupid bitch Cruella. It didn’t take long for her to stick her claws into Daddy’s little empire and she sure as hell turned my life into one big mess when she took over.
Something that I do find rather funny though, if I can find anything about this situation amusing, is that it’s taken him what, six months to even bring himself to ask about me? “Finally remembered me, has he?” I snap back childishly, but I don’t care. I have every right to be childish about it. He screwed me over, and now what, he expects me to just forget about it? I don’t bloody think so. Matt’s eyes grow wide, and I know I shouldn’t be bitchy with him and I really don’t want to be, but the sudden mention of Graham has gotten my back up — big time.
“What, no… Emily, Graham asks after you all the time. He always has.”
“Oh, I’m sure he does.” I say sarcastically. “If that’s the case, then tell me, why are you only telling me this now?” I want to kick myself so hard. Why am I feeling so upset about all of this? I thought it was all behind me and I was stronger than this? Obviously not. I’ve done really well too with trying to move on with my life and to finally achieve something that’s all mine. He’s got a bloody nerve he has, especially when he was the one who hung me out to dry.
“Because I knew that you would act like this,” Matt says after a moment, yet he’s still watching me closely, as if I could lose my shit at any second and go feral. Well, he wouldn’t be far wrong to be truthful.
“Act like what? I’m not acting like anything,” I say and the pair of us know that I’m lying through my back teeth.
“Okay, if that’s true then why are you snapping?”
“I’m…” I begin, but finding the perfect opportunity for his chance to speak, he dives right in.
“Every time I come around I want to tell you, but I’ve never found the perfect time, and I didn’t want to upset you, especially when you’ve had so much going on. Honestly, he doesn’t leave me alone. Every morning he walks over to my office with a drink and asks how you’re doing and how the business is progressing,” he stops talking the second he’s realised he’s said too much, way too much.
“Say what now?” I ask, silently praying that my ears are playing up and I just completely imagined that he said Graham has been asking how my business has been progressing. “How the hell does Graham know about my new business venture?”
“Well,” he begins, and he’s turned into a nervous wreck. Gone is his confident smirk, instead in its place is the face of a boy who knows he’s just royally fucked up — and with it I have my answer. I cannot believe that Matt would do this to me. He knew that when Graham asked me to come back after he finally realised everything that had happened was a major set up, I had no intention of ever stepping foot in that place again. He knew how passionate I was about it and I’m pretty sure that it goes without saying that it also meant Graham didn’t need to know anything about my personal life. Graham lost that privilege when he chose to believe all of those horrific lies that were made up about me.
“He’s really proud of you, you know, babe.” Matt says softly, and he’s so quiet that I almost don’t hear him. “I really think he’s genuinely sorry for everything that happened and what he did and I know for a fact he wants to make it right with you again.”
“That is not happening.” He wants to make it right? Oh well, I guess that’s absolutely fine and I should be more than happy to go along with it? “Matt, I’ve got enough going on right now to even think about any of that.” I step closer to him, hating this sudden distance that’s come between us and I place both of my hands on his arms. I’d hate to think I’m making Matt feel more uncomfortable than he is already. Never do I want to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. I want him to be happy and I want to be his happy place, at all times, not just in the bedroom. “Look, I know this must be super awkward for you, what with you being with me and still working there, but I just can’t do it Matt. I just can’t deal with all of that bullshit, I’m sorry. I chose to move on and that’s what I’m trying to do.”
“Emily, I know, I get it. I do,” Matt entwines his arms around me and holds me close, as if trying to pass his calmness onto me, and I think that it might be working, slowly. His minty scent always calms me and I can’t help but breathe him in as deeply as humanly possible, without him hearing me and thinking that I’m a right weirdo.
Me and Matt have always had a good friendship and working relationship. He’s always just got me, and I’d never want to be without him, but I never ever thought that Matt could make me so happy. I never knew that he would be my happy place, never mind my safe place, but there you are and now I never want it to be any other way.
All too soon, as I’m basking in the protection of his arms, his breathing changes and I know that he’s not finished what he started, and he’s preparing himself for something — something important.
No. This can’t be it. Panic begins to consume me and my breathing picks up again. No, no, no. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. This is too soon. I’m not ready for that kind of commitment just yet. I take in a couple of deep breaths and brace myself for him to drop down onto one knee and I won’t be able to do anything but crush his soul and I really don’t want to do that.
However, when I look up at him, he doesn’t drop down on bended knee. He actually doesn’t do much apart from look at me, his eyes full of worry. Something tells me he might be about to crush my soul. Holy mother of Jesus, how the hell did we get here?
“Matt, what’s wrong?” My words come out on a hurried whisper and I don’t think I even want to know the answer.
“Nothing,” he replies on a sigh and I don’t believe him. His whole body language is telling me a different story altogether, especially when he holds me a little tighter.
“Matthew…” I warn and I pull myself back from him so I can see him better. His ears go up when he’s lying, they always have, and it’s always been one of his downfalls. “Spill it.”
“Okay, okay. Fine, I’ve got something to tell you but I want you to promise me that you won’t lose your shit.”
I’ve totally got this. I chant to myself. “If Cruella has made a pass at you again, then I’ll do more than lose my fucking shit.” I say before I can stop myself.
Matt’s whole face relaxes as he pulls me back into his arms and I can feel him chuckling against me. Right now, though, I don’t find anything about this funny at all. “Parker, are you mad? Do you really think I’d let her anywhere near me after what she did to you?” I try to smile, but I just can’t bring myself to do it until I know what’s bothering him so much.
“Well, if it’s not that then you’re free to continue.”
“Remember you said you wouldn’t lose your shit. It’s about Graham, actually. I know you don’t want to hear it, but like I said he’s been coming by my desk daily and he really wants to meet up with you so he can discuss everything with you.” He pauses for a moment, before continuing, “I think it would really mean a lot to him if you gave your approval on it.”
“Approval on what?” Why would he want my approval for anything? I don’t work for him anymore, I work for myself. More importantly, why does he keep sniffing around my boyfriend?
“I think it’s best that it comes from him.”
Oh my God.
It’s happening. What was that and more importantly why was I the one who ended up storming out? It’s my bloody house, not his.
After years of working side by side and six months of being an official item, we’ve just had our first proper argument and I won’t lie. I really don’t like how I feel about it. Yes, we’ve had disagreements in the past over everyday things such as who’s in charge of the remote, who’s washing the pots, minor stuff like that, but never have I ever felt so angry that I needed to turn around and walk out of the door.
Shit, what if this is the start of things to come? Is this really what the future for me and Matt holds, or am I just being stupid and over thinking things?
I know everyone has arguments from time to time. God, they wouldn’t be human if they didn’t. I’d like to think that it’s fairly natural and it doesn’t have to mean that everything is doomed, right… right?
Maybe I might have overreacted a little, but then at the same time, if he knows me as much as he claims too then surely, he would have known exactly how I would have acted.
“That’s exactly what he said, you tit. He’s been putting off talking to you because he knew how you would react and he didn’t want to upset you. And what did you go and do? You fucking stormed off like the spoilt little Diva that you are.” Oh, and the devil’s back. I wondered when she’d rear her prissy little head again. Surely, she’s supposed to be on my side?