Dancing with Eternity

by John Patrick Lowrie

  Archie thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I suppose we can assume anything we want. There’s only one way to find out.”

  [This certainly isn’t the first time that ethics have accommodated the exigencies of scientific research?]

  Alice’s voice was barely more than a whisper, “Mom, please. I don’t want to. I don’t want to do this anymore. Please.”

  “Alice, you need to be strong now. We’ll get through this, but you need to be strong.”

  Archie looked grim, but said, “There’s a full moon tonight. We could ... we could operate after evening prayers. That’s when they’re calmest, most ... most sedentary.”

  Steel looked around the table. Yuri and Tamika looked like they were up for anything that needed to be done. Marcus was assessing, Alice was sad and Archie was ... Archie wasn’t saying anything. At that point I didn’t know what I was.

  “Good,” Steel said. “We’ll leave two hours before sundown. That should give us enough time to get to the colony before dark.”

  Throughout the day Archie studied every bit of information that we had about the slugs. She had Yuri modify some of our imaging equipment so we could scan the slugs’ interior anatomy in the field. We certainly couldn’t bring one back to the lab. Then she put together her best guess of what a kit for doing brain surgery on a Brainardite might be. She worked with a dark determination, carrying the inevitability of her crime with her. Steel spent the day with Marcus and Tamika generating possible timetables and schedules, flow charts based on this or that guess of what we might find, how we might be able to exploit it. Alice and I were involved in one way or another. Archie tried to keep her busy—I think to give her a sense of control if nothing else. Of course, none of us had control. Steel was in control.

  When it was time to suit up Archie stopped as she was entering her hatch. She stood there for a moment, with one leg in her suit and one in the lab, then extracted herself. Steel said, “What’s wrong?”

  Arch stood for a moment, thinking. “Umm, it’s nothing.” She thought, shook her head. “It’s nothing to do with ... with the mission. Could you ... could you give me a moment alone with Mo?”

  Steel looked at me, then back at Arch. I didn’t have a clue what this was about. I think it showed on my face.

  Arch said, “It won’t take long. Just a couple of minutes.”

  Steel examined us again, but said, “All right. We’ll be waiting outside.” She turned to the rest of the crew and said, “Let’s go.”

  When we were alone Arch still seemed reluctant to speak. “What is it?” I asked.

  She looked at the floor, looked around the lab. I didn’t know what she was looking for. Then, “I just wanted to tell you about ... about your mother. About what you called her.”

  Oh. “Um, okay. Did you find out something?”

  “Yes,” she still wasn’t looking at me. She drew a little arc on the floor with her toe. “That’s what you called her. You called her your mother.”

  “What? No, no, Archie, I would remember. It was—”

  “That’s what you called her. Or some variation: Mama, Mom, Mommy. Something like that.”

  “Well, okay. I don’t know why you’d think that. It sure doesn’t mean anything to me. I can’t believe that I would—”

  “Mo, listen to me for a minute.”

  “Okay.”

  She formed her thoughts before she spoke. “There have been times in our history when one group of people decided that some other group of people needed to change the way they behaved. Sometimes it meant changing some specific behavior, sometimes ... everything. If they didn’t have the time or, or the energy or just the patience to convince them to change the way they thought, sometimes they would decide to simply coerce them into changing the way they spoke. This was usually done to ‘help’ the target group. Colonial powers back on Earth would proscribe colonized people from ... from speaking in their native language to help them, help them ... assimilate into the culture of the colonizers, for example. The idea was if they were forced to change the way they spoke, the way they thought would change as a natural result.”

  “That sounds awful.”

  “Yes. It never worked. If you coerce a person to change their language, it just kills their spirit and makes them hate you for it.”

  “Okay. What does this have to do with—”

  “Usually the tools for coercion were statutory or military. Not always. Some groups didn’t have access to those kinds of tools. The feminists, for example, found that ... that castigation ... vilification and, and ostracism were equally potent means of coercion.”

  “Arch, why are you being so pedantic? What’s going on?”

  She stared into the past. “I wasn’t alive during the war. I was hatched just after the treaty was signed. I experienced it as history.”

  “Oh.” She didn’t need to tell me that. She didn’t need to reveal how old she was.

  “After Draco bombed Boleyn we knew ... I mean, they knew ... they knew that the war was lost. Or, at least, that it couldn’t be won. You have to understand that by that time a significant number of us hadn’t had parents. We were nurtured by groups of professionals. We didn’t know what it was like to be attached emotionally to just one woman or just one man. I didn’t even meet a man until I was almost two decades old.”

  I still didn’t know where she was going with this, but I kept listening.

  “When, when the Yin realized that they weren’t going to achieve their goal of creating a purely female society, there was a … a faction that had come up with a plan to at least achieve something for all the suffering they’d been through. It was very controversial and I’m sure it never would have been implemented if things hadn’t gotten so awful.”

  She looked like she was in really bad shape. I took her hand. She still didn’t look at me: “They knew they couldn’t eliminate the word ‘mother’ from the language. It was used in too many different ways. But in many ways the concept of being a mother was what had started the war in the first place.”

  “I suppose so.”

  The weight of her story prevented her from speaking for a moment. I could tell that she wished she had some other story to tell. “The Psych Ops division had discovered a weakness in the net. They found a way to send a global command that could sever all personal, emotional attachment to any particular word.” She smiled ruefully, “If they’d used the word ‘Draco,’ they might have won the war. Can you imagine? Eliminating all emotional attachment to the name of the nation you belonged to? But they weren’t thinking that way.”

  And then I knew the story: “They used the word ‘mother.’ ”

  She nodded, then added, “And all its variants.” Her eyes found mine. “I’m sorry, Mo. I really am.”

  It seemed like she was afraid that this information would make me angry. But in a profound way it was very healing. It gave me a connection that I hadn’t had, to the word and to my mother. Almost without thinking I said, “I think you’re one of the bravest, strongest human beings I’ve ever met. Thank you, Archie. Thank you.”

  This made her smile, shyly. She looked down as she said, “Well, I just wanted you to know. You know, in case ...”

  “In case what?”

  She shook her head, “Nothing. I— I just wanted you to know.” She gathered herself. “They’re waiting for us. We’d better go.”

  Chapter 37

  Can you define the moment a person leaves the path? Is it recognizable? What is the difference between wanting to heal a human being and wanting to maintain a prized possession? Had Steel ever been able to recognize other souls or had she always moved through the universe alone? When I first met her I had wanted to possess her, but that had passed as she had transformed from a sensual image into a complex psycho-spiritual force, a locus of energy creating and destroying as she moved through time and space. What did she want to possess? Everything? Everyone?

  With all of my questions unanswered I moved up the sl
ug trail trying to stay alert. The afternoon thunderstorms that had become an almost daily occurrence had moved off to the east, glowing fiery in the setting sun. The world was wet. It gleamed as though freshly polished.

  [Slugs to your right,] Marcus’ voice was even and calm, governing all our fears as he pointed out two creatures converging on the trail from behind flowing stone. [Let’s just give them some space.] We halted while they entered the trail ahead of us and lumbered homeward. Traffic was getting heavy.

  I wondered if everyone else was having as many doubts as I was. I loved Alice and I wanted to save her so badly that I ached. I had grown so close to everyone here, everyone except Steel. I wanted all of us to be safe, to be okay. I moved forward, hoping, fearing, determined, uncertain. Thoughts came unbidden to me. Why had Steel brought Drake down to the surface of Vesper? She had endangered the entire population of that moon, maybe the entire population of humanity, so that her employee—her friend, perhaps—wouldn’t feel the discomfort of weightlessness while he was being destroyed by the plague. Why had she gone to Eden physically prepared to conceive children? Just to get back at Daimler? Or to understand why he did what he did? Or just simple curiosity? How could she make all the decisions that she had made? How could she take John Cheatham’s children away from him? How was she able to do that? How could anyone do that?

  As we rounded a curve in the trail the colony came into view from behind an iron dyke that looked like it was eternally unfurling, waving, flowing in a stationary statement of motion. Chocolate globes of the colony glistened in the evening light. A pearl moon rose behind fanciful towers of bubbles; silver light competed with fire.

  Steel: [We need to get into the central plaza. That’s where they’ll gather for evening prayers.]

  Archie: [Yes.]

  As we got closer to the main gate we were all getting more laconic. I wished there was more chatter. I needed to keep my mind quiet. How impoverished she must be in the midst of all her wealth. Had she ever loved Daimler? Or had that been taken away from her by the nature of her genesis? How did she define love? I had seen her eyes when she learned of her husband’s death. What did it mean? How could you feel that way about someone and still do what she had done?

  We entered the colony.

  Yuri: [This stuff is really dense. Well, it’s plutonium. What would you expect? But grav-echo barely penetrates it. It looks like if we keep to the main drag we’ll get to the plaza. Umm, take the left fork up there and then keep to the right ...]

  Alice looked so worried. She had such a desire to connect to everyone. And Archie had worked so hard to connect to me. Why did Steel and Daimler prefer to remain alone when the world was filled with such a wealth of humanity? We keep secrets. I had kept secrets. I had wandered off the path for a secret attraction, a flirtation, a dalliance that had cost me ... I couldn’t quantify what it had cost me. Yuri had his secret, a secret so horrifying to him that he could only share it when he was absent, and yet I couldn’t imagine him taking children from someone he had loved, or, more importantly, from someone the children had loved.

  Should we be following orders given by a person capable of such acts? We had to in order to function at all. Perhaps Marcus had been opposed to bringing Drake down to the surface of Vesper. What could he do? State his objections and then follow orders, or mutiny and destroy the whole enterprise? As long as there was a chance of saving Alice the second option was unthinkable.

  Marcus: [Slugs coming up behind.] We moved to the sides of the passage to let three enormous creatures flow by. The walls reflected the swirling, strobing colors on their sides. Flashes and fireworks and bold swaths of electric hues. Risk-free communication: there were no eyes to see what they were expressing except ours, and we would never be able to tell them what we thought about it.

  We followed this last group through passageways that opened into the central piazza, a feature in all Brainardite colonies. Stars were appearing in the fading sky and the colossal moon rose crystalline, touching each dark globe with quicksilver, each crab-shaped carapace, each human environmental suit. The slugs in the open space were excited, or so they seemed by the light shows on their sides. Shapes and patterns flickered and flashed across their skin in brilliant rainbows and hallucinogenic mazes. Patterns just beyond understanding, teasing our minds with repetition and variation, developing, recapitulating, echoing, reposting. The activity continued to increase until every slug was a symphony of color and pattern, vibrating and undulating in similar tempo and style.

  I don’t know what started the droning. They were all aligned east to west, maybe facing the setting sun, maybe the rising moon, we couldn’t tell. But the flanks of every slug started to pulse simultaneously and the world was filled with sound. I could feel it in my chest, through my feet, down my arms—the chanting of a thousand monks in the ancient Himalayas bathing us in music, in fundamental oscillation that resonated with the soul of the universe.

  Archie: [Yuri? Could you set up the scanner beside the nearest one? On the right there?]

  Yuri: [You got it.] The slugs were so close to each other there was just barely room to work. Stepping sideways he moved the scanner into position. The droning rose and fell, soothed and excited, lowering our pulse but raising our adrenaline.

  Arch: [I’m guessing their central nervous systems will be protected under their shells, probably in the central portion of their bodies.]

  Yuri: [Sounds good. How about here?] He had finished the assembly.

  Arch: [That looks good. Let’s try sub-sonics first. We may have to go to grav-echo. I don’t want to use x-rays.]

  Yuri: [Okay.] He turned on the machine. Archie gazed into the viewer. She scanned back and forth. The deep droning accompanied her, swelling and fading in complex, non-repeating patterns that always surprised, but always made sense.

  Arch: [There it is. That has to be it. You see?] Steel moved to look into the viewer. Then Alice.

  Alice: [I suppose so.]

  Steel: [Yes. That has to be it.]

  Arch: [I’ll set up the probe here.] She assembled a framework that held a long needle-like instrument and aimed it at the chosen spot on the slug’s skin, skin that flashed and swirled with color and shape. When she was finished: [Now we wait.]

  “Wait for what?” I asked.

  [Wait for them to finish their ... their evening prayers.]

  “What happens then?”

  Marcus: [They get very still for about an hour before they head off to their various sleeping quarters.]

  Arch: [If they sleep.]

  Marcus: [Yes.]

  For an endless time, or a time that was not too long, the droning continued. And then it stopped, leaving an acoustic vacuum where there had been richness and mystery. The slugs quieted, the patterns on their skin fading and disappearing. They became almost inert. The night was silent, just the gentlest breeze disturbing the air. Arch approached the controls of the probe. She gazed into the scanner, lowering the probe to the very surface of the slug’s skin. When she got there she stopped. For a moment nothing happened, then she said, [I can’t do this. I don’t think we should do this.]

  Alice added, [I don’t want to. I think you’re right, Archie. Let’s ... let’s just—]

  Steel moved forward. [I’ll take over.] Her voice was without emotion. [Marcus, deploy everyone. I want to be ready for any reaction they might exhibit.]

  [Yes, Captain.] Marcus moved the six of us to positions where we could cover Steel with our lasers, our ray guns. We were just inside the plaza, our backs to the passage that led to the outside of the colony. Marcus and Tamika flanked us with the laser canons. [We’re ready, Captain.]

  Steel started the probe again. It sank into the slug’s flesh almost unnoticeably. From where we were we couldn’t tell how deep the probe was getting but, as they say, it must have hit a nerve. As fast as a frog’s tongue the slug whipped out two pseudopods, striking Steel on her shoulder and thigh. Where they struck they adhered. We knew that Steel’s
suit was being eroded as we watched.

  [Hold your fire.] Marcus’ voice was steady as always as he leveled his hand laser at the slug. We saw only the faintest beam as he hit the creature where the two pseudopods emerged from its body. The limbs retracted immediately and Archie and Yuri rushed in to pick Steel up off the ground where she had fallen. [There are no alarms, Captain. Your suit integrity is good.]

  As they lifted her we could see a spreading pool of light communicate from slug to slug. They were waking up, their sides swirling and flashing. Pseudopods from three or four different slugs shot out and hit our friends. Steel was knocked on her back again. Yuri went to one knee. Arch fought to keep her balance.

  Marcus said, [Captain, Archie, Yuri, stay as still as you can!] They tried to. [We have to avoid hitting the suits! Aim no closer than a meter away from them. Fire.]

  Tamika and Marcus began surgically hitting the slugs with the laser canons as Alice and I used our ray guns as judiciously as we could. Soon all the slugs closest to our friends had retreated, wounded, but the colony was awake and responding.

  Steel yelled: [Let’s get out of here! Let’s go!] The three of them joined us in the passage as the colony started to move toward us. The slugs moved faster than we had ever seen them. We turned and accelerated our suits until we were running down the twisting artery, our footfalls like artillery. Every twenty meters or so Marcus and Tamika would turn back and scan the tube for our pursuers. They weren’t catching up but we weren’t gaining any ground, either.

  We flew out of the front gate and onto the trail. Marcus’ voice actually sounded urgent: [They may be able to move faster out in the open.]

  Steel responded: [We need someplace ... There!] She pointed to the waving iron dyke beside the trail. The top surface of the swirling sculpture started at the ground and rose, ramp-like, until it reached a height of ten to twenty meters, but it was far too narrow for slugs to climb up. We started up the twisting path in rich moonlight, our steps changing from thunder on rock to music on iron.