I ended up feeling like a dirty secret. Like an entirely new person that only shared the same silhouette of who I used to be.
With the blue hat Liam insisted on pulled low on my head and the long strands of my hair sneakily tucked into my coat, I felt pretty disguised. Everyone out here was dressed alike, and without my blond hair to give me away, it was as if I were just another person on vacay at BearPaw.
I couldn’t help but think of my father and the time we spent here together. It had been the only real time I’d gotten to spend with him.
It seemed silly I missed him. I mean, yes, he was my father, but I could count on one hand the amount of times I’d seen him in my life.
Was it him I missed or just the idea of a father?
I had no illusions about what a great man he was or even a great father. In fact, I knew he wasn’t great at either. If his absence in my life wasn’t proof, the way his life came to a violent end was.
My eyes strayed to Liam. How confident he looked in front of the line of people he was instructing.
I could count on one hand the number of times I’d seen him in my life as well.
Oddly, it was less than my father. I missed Liam, too. Something deep inside me might even argue I missed him more than my dad. Eight years of missing someone I barely knew.
The heart doesn’t measure time, though, does it?
The heart has its own way of equating value. And it seemed my heart had a soft spot for men who didn’t stick around.
I glanced around, off to the right where the ski lift was running. People on skis and snowboards all stood in line. Laughter floated down from the cars overhead as they soared up the mountain.
As I stared, I was transported back in time. To eight years ago…
It was early. So freaking early. I didn’t even drag myself out of bed for school at this hour. Yet here I was, pulling on all the brand-new snow gear my father had bought me downstairs. I glanced at the door that adjoined our rooms, thankful we didn’t have to share just one. That would be totally embarrassing.
And it wouldn’t have made what I was doing possible. Once I had all the layers piled on—seriously, I could not imagine doing this every day; back in Cali, it sometimes felt like a chore to put on sandals instead of just flip-flops—I headed out.
The slopes opened early for all those people who liked to get in some runs (as they called them in the brochure) before they had to work or fill their day with one of the other million activities here at the resort.
I’d thought my father was insane when he showed up and announced we were going to some tiny town in Colorado for a vacation. Who vacations in the snow?
It really felt like the twilight zone when my mother agreed to let me go.
I’d been skeptical, nervous even, but now that I was here, I loved it. This place was gorgeous. I’d never seen so much snow and so many trees in all my life.
There was just one problem. This California girl did not know how to ski. At all.
That was why I found myself standing there with a pair of skis that felt like clown shoes attached to my boots as I stared up at the ski lift, a machine I was supposed to sit in while it dragged me over the terrain on a wire.
Yikes.
Clearly, I didn’t think this through. I might have to admit defeat.
As I stood there, at war with myself, someone skidded past, throwing up a wave of snow against my legs. I craned my neck, following the person on the snowboard as he curved around and stopped behind me.
When he lifted the goggles off his face, I was momentarily dumbstruck. He was freaking gorgeous. Clear, smooth skin that seemed sun-kissed even in this snow. Strong brow, defined jaw, and a straight nose.
His eyes were gray.
Not that in-between color either. You know the one where the color isn’t quite blue and not quite green.
True gray.
Like a cloudy sky. Or a floor of pebbles in a river.
“You’re supposed to get on it. Not stare at it,” gray eyes told me, a cocky smirk curving his mouth.
“I think I like my feet down here. On the ground.”
He smiled. “First time?”
I swallowed, glancing down at his lips. They were kissable. Sooo kissable.
I couldn’t speak, so instead, I nodded.
“You’re out here pretty early for a first timer. Most of us on the slopes at this hour are regulars.”
“You’re a regular?”
“Of course. I have mad skills.”
My stomach fluttered a little when he smiled like that. “I came out because I wanted to practice a little. I’m here with my father, and…” My voice faded. Why was I telling him this? He was a stranger.
“And?” He leaned in as if he were really interested.
“And I wanted to impress him. I didn’t want to look like a newb.” I glanced down at the snow. “It’s stupid.”
“Not stupid.”
Surprised, I glanced up. He grinned at me, and I found myself grinning back. “Stupid if you’re too terrified to even get on the lift.”
“Maybe you won’t be as scared if I ride with you.”
“What?”
He nodded and motioned for me to follow him. “C’mon. If you ride with me, I’ll be your first.” Even with the goggles and hat on his head, I could see him wagging his eyebrows.
“I think I’ll pass,” I said, glancing up at the car floating overhead.
“I’ll hold your hand.” He offered.
Glancing between him and the lift, I decided to go for it. Using the poles, I pushed off, sliding instantly down the small slope toward the lift entrance. Once I got going, I couldn’t stop.
“Watch out!” I yelled, but he didn’t move. Instead, he planted himself right in front of me and caught me around the waist.
“And you’re worried about the lift? I think you should be more worried about the skis strapped to your feet.”
Embarrassed, I pulled back, but my skis had slid up over his board, and I couldn’t just take a step back. I would have fallen if he hadn’t tightened his hold.
“I’m Liam,” he said, our noses mere inches apart.
“Bellamy.”
“You’re up!” the lift attendant called.
Liam managed to untangle us and direct me in front of the coming seat. Standing beside me, he took hold of my elbow. “Now,” he said right when the bench arrived.
We both sat, and the cart kept moving, sweeping us off the ground. Liam pulled a bar down in front of us as I clutched at the poles and stared over the side.
“Here,” he said, taking my poles. Once they were gone, he reached for my hand.
I knew gloves were a necessity out here in the frigid temps… but I wished there wasn’t a glove between us.
“Don’t look down. Look out.”
“What?” I glanced at him. For a long moment, I swear I got lost in his eyes.
“Look out,” he replied, taking my chin with his free hand and turning my face so I would see the sweeping view.
I gasped. Up here, everything looked so pristine. So fantasy-like. The snow was like a white blanket enveloping everything, even the deep-green trees. Fat snowflakes floated from the sky, brushing against my cheeks and creating a while haze over everything.
“It’s so beautiful,” I whispered.
“See what you would have missed if you’d stayed down there on the ground?”
“Thank you.”
“Next stop is ours.” He gestured to the approaching platform.
“Already?”
His chuckle was enough to melt the snowflakes still falling out of the sky. “Unless you want to ride all the way up to the black diamond course. And judging from what I saw on the ground, you should probably stick to the bunny hill.”
I smiled, sheepish. “You’re probably right.”
“When it comes up, you have to get up quick.”
My teeth sank into my lower lip, and I concentrated as we met the platform. Liam and
I stood quickly, but I still wasn’t quick enough. How could anyone be with these death traps on their feet?
I didn’t get flattened by the still-moving car, though. Instead, Liam hoisted me off to the side.
“Thanks,” I said when we were out of harm’s way.
“How about a free lesson?” He gestured to my skis and handed me the poles I’d actually forgotten about.
I glanced at the snowboard he was so confidently perched on. “You can ski, too?”
“Since I could walk.”
“Don’t you have something else you’d rather be doing?”
His teeth flashed. They were as white as the snow. “Keeping you from killing yourself or someone else on those things? I think that’s pretty important.”
I laughed.
“C’mon. Give me thirty minutes and you’ll be outskiing your dad.”
He spent thirty minutes teaching me how to ski.
He spent thirty minutes carving out a place in my heart that I had no idea would still be there eight years later.
The sound of flirtatious laughter brought me out of the blast from the past. Charlie nudged my hand and whined. I scratched him behind the ear as I glanced around toward the sound.
It didn’t take long to find it.
It was right in front of Liam.
The lesson must have just ended because people were going off to do their own thing. A few people hung back, adjusting their equipment. Liam had a clipboard in his hand and a black knit hat pulled down over his head. Snowflakes were sticking to it and lying on his broad shoulders.
The girl laughed again, and my back teeth came together.
She had blond hair. It fell it wet waves from under her hat. Her eyes were covered with a pair of mirrored sunglasses, and her ski outfit was hot pink and navy. I knew by the way she was leaning toward Liam she was flirting with him.
I heard the low timbre of his voice, but couldn’t make out the words. He didn’t lean toward her as she did him, but he wasn’t running away either.
It shouldn’t bother me.
It did.
I was here to hide. I hadn’t even wanted to see him. I had so much going on. The last thing I needed was to get involved with a guy who literally broke my heart at the age of sixteen.
Walk away, Bellamy. Just walk away.
My feet obeyed. I started walking.
But not away.
Toward the girl who was standing there looking like a life-size Barbie, trying to flirt with a man who most definitely was not hers.
Liam
Yesterday, this girl looked so much like Bellamy.
Yesterday, when I saw her in the snow with her damp blond hair, it was like a punch in my gut.
Today was different.
Today, as I stood here and watched her, she looked nothing at all like Bells. She was so much not Bellamy that I wondered what the fuck I’d been thinking yesterday.
I did get one thing right, though. I wasn’t into her yesterday, and I sure as fuck wasn’t now.
I was partly impressed she was still trying, though. After I got up and walked out at the Tavern last night, I thought for sure she’d gotten what I was throwing down. Here she was, though, back for another lesson. Back to flirting while her friend stood a short distance away.
She was either hella stupid or had a set of balls on her the size of melons. How unfortunate for her both of those things were not attractive.
“I’m so bummed you had to leave early last night,” she said, segueing into that from whatever she’d been talking about. “You look a lot more rested today. Maybe we can try again tonight?”
She reached out and laid her gloved hand on my chest.
I was so disinterested it might alarm me if I didn’t know why. Usually, I was ready for a good time, and being a famous pro athlete turned expert instructor got me a lot of snow bunnies. I didn’t want a snow bunny now.
Unless Bellamy decided to become one.
I smiled down at Heather (that was her name, right?) and moved to pull her hand away from my chest when Charlie barked and charged out of nowhere. He barked again and plowed between me and Heather, knocking her back onto her ass.
“Charlie!” I called as he jumped up, putting his two front paws on my chest. He was a big dog, close to two hundred pounds. If he wanted to be somewhere, he barreled right in. “Bad dog,” I told him, even though I wasn’t even mad. He licked my face.
I pushed him down, and he wagged his tail as if he were proud of himself.
Heather was sitting in the snow, her eyes wide.
“Sorry about that,” I said, giving her a smile. I reached down to help her up, something I knew she was reveling in. Even after I had her back on her feet, her hands clung to my arms.
“Is that your dog?”
I started to reply, but a voice cut in.
“I’m sorry,” Bellamy called as she approached. “I tried to stop him, but he was too excited to see you.”
Her voice was not apologetic at all.
I chuckled and slid a knowing glance in her direction. Not acknowledging my eyes, she lifted her chin and regarded Heather.
Seeing the two women together now, I wondered what the fuck I’d been thinking. Bellamy was so much more beautiful.
“I hope he didn’t hurt you. Charlie is just a big puppy.”
“Who are you?” she asked, brushing some of the snow off her.
“I’m the dog nanny.”
I made a choked sound, and Heather glanced at me sharply. “You have a dog nanny?”
I nodded. “Just look at him.” I pointed to Charlie, who was bouncing around some poor skier. “He clearly needs supervision.”
Bellamy giggled.
My stomach fluttered a little bit with the sound.
Heather’s eyes turned calculating, and mine narrowed. I had no idea what she was thinking, but I knew that look. I’d seen it a lot in the past few years. This girl was threatened by Bell—my dog nanny—and I knew she was going to let out her claws.
Careful, bitch. My charming, athletic façade will give way to an evil Jack Frost if you so much as look cross-eyed at her.
Without thinking, I moved, shifting closer to Bellamy, bringing my side right up against hers. It was a silent message.
One this girl didn’t seem to receive.
“Well, maybe the nanny can take the dog on an overnight so we can finish what we started last night.” She spoke to me but looked at Bellamy. Her eyes were cold, her air haughty.
I started to step forward, to completely block Bells from sight. This was a situation I could diffuse with one strike of my icy tongue.
Bellamy put out a hand on my chest, silently telling me to back off.
I made a sound, but she stepped forward. “And what exactly did you start with Liam last night?”
“Oh, do you need me to spell it out for you?” Heather stuck out her lower lip in a pout.
I snarled.
“I think maybe you do,” Bellamy said, stepping in front of me but backing up so her back came right up against my front. My hand folded around the material of her coat, pulling her a little more firmly against me. “Because I’m confused. He couldn’t possibly have started anything with you last night because he spent the night in my room.”
Guess Heather wasn’t the one with claws. And Bellamy was jealous.
So freaking jealous.
I could probably live off this for years. Years.
Heather’s eyes widened, then flashed angry. “Like he’d spend the night with you.”
I felt the slight tensing in her body. It wasn’t visible, but having her pressed against me made it impossible not to notice. The barb hurt her.
That pissed me off.
I moved swiftly around her, my body completely blocking her from view.
“Actually, I would. I’d spend every night with her if she’d let me. Let me make myself very clear here.” I spoke low, intensely. “I’m not interested, Heather. Not now. Not ever.”
&nb
sp; She gasped as if she couldn’t believe the words that just came out of my mouth. I stood back, folding my arms across my chest, and stared.
“Whatever,” she spat and turned to go.
Her friend was watching with a puzzled look on her face. When she reached her side, Heather spoke low, and the other girl stared back at me, shock on her features.
I waved.
Then I dismissed them completely. Pivoting, I stared at Bellamy. “You’re so jealous.”
“Am not,” she spat.
I laughed.
She made a sound. “I was trying to help you out. That girl was as dumb as a box of rocks. You could do better.”
I stepped close, putting a hand on the side of her waist. “Like you?”
Her swift intake of breath was her only reaction. Her eyes bounced between mine, vulnerability in the blue depths.
Alex chose that moment to ski up. And Charlie bounded over with a bark. These interruptions could go for a long walk off a short pier.
“Who’s this?” Alex mused, taking in the pair of us.
Bellamy turned toward him, her eyes widening. “Alex?”
A slow smiled spread over his face. “In the flesh!” Then he glanced at me, back at Bells, then to me again. “Damn, Bellamy got hotter.”
I growled and shoved him. “Shut it.”
He laughed. Then he came forward and scooped her up into a hug. “Long time no see, girl!”
Bellamy laughed.
I envied the easy way he just reached out and hugged her. The easy way he made her laugh.
It made me want to punch him.
“You look…” Bellamy mused after he put her down. “Grown up.”
“Milk does a body good,” he quipped and held up his biceps.
“You don’t drink milk.” I reminded him.
“She didn’t need to know that,” Alex whispered.
Bellamy giggled. “Still the same smartass, I see.”
“Some things never change.” Alex confirmed. “Like the heart eyes my boy’s giving you.”
Bellamy’s cheeks, already pink from the cold, turned a blazing shade of red.
I gave Alex a hard warning stare. He winked at me.
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