BOMAW 7-9

by Mercedes Keyes

  "Thank you."

  By the time Shawn was ready to take Angela to school, Shanna showed back up at the house. Before departing, it pissed him off again to hear that Jake was supposed to be going by storage to get a load of her boxes, and bring them back to her new home. Because he was nowhere in sight, Shawn agreed to go and rent a trailer, which he would load up and bring all of her stuff from storage at once, instead of back and forth. Shaking his head, Shawn couldn't believe it, years and years later, here they were both adults, and he was still doing work that Jake was supposed to be doing. Some things seem to never change. Until he returned with her boxes, she and Sylvia started making plans for a garage sale, getting rid of the old and extra from both houses to make room for redecorating and moving.

  Shawn gave Angela a kiss right before she jumped out of the SUV and ran into the school. He sat there for a moment, now that he was away from the house. He hated that Jake left him with this extra time on his hands, because it left his mind open to wonder.

  To wonder back to Benjamin. To wonder once again, who really was his father? He sat a bit longer, watching parents come and go, dropping off their children. Kids, children, sons or daughters. They meant the world to him. If he had his life to do all over again, there were so many things he would do differently. Only problem with that thought is it might jeopardize his ever meeting Sylvia. If he could go back, and have her there waiting for him, to start a family with, he would have now been a father of many. Not just a father of Angela and the baby on the way, or stepfather to Mundo and Crystal. They would be his. Yet, they would be different, not the same people they were now.

  Try as he might, he could not ignore that he just might have another child, a son. Benjamin. He sat with such complex regrets that were contradicting. He regretted leaving home all those years ago. However, had he not, there would not have been his time with Jesse, King Louie, Mama JoJo, meeting Diedre, having his daughter, Angela. Yet, having done so, made him lose out on a young man that was, quite possibly, his son. Had he stayed back then, found out Christine was pregnant and with his son, he couldn't help but wonder would he have tried to work things out with her? Running his hand over his face, he didn't know what to think or feel.

  He leaned forward, reached in his back pocket and removed his wallet. Opening it, he searched for the piece of paper tucked under his drivers license. Immediately, Sylvia's face came to mind when he pulled it free. He put his head back, dropping his hand to his lap, still holding his open wallet; looking out the window, thinking. He'd denied, denied, and denied some more. Yet, that was before Jake had thrown in his face, what he had. He shook Sylvia from his mind, picked up his cell phone, opened the folded sheet of paper and dialed Christine and Quincy's number.

  It rang once and was answered right away; that took him by surprise, he had hoped no one would be home.

  "Hellooo, Jacob's residence?"

  Shawn's stomach gripped him tightly, he felt his throat squeeze and lock on him.

  "Hello? Hellooo?" Christine repeated, she could hear someone breathing over the phone, they finally exhaled.

  "Hi - Christine? This is uh, Shawn... McPherson."

  It was her turn to get quiet. Shawn swallowed, and felt that that was a sign. Why would suddenly hearing from him, make her go suddenly silent, if he was someone insignificant in her life?

  "Christine? You still there?"

  She couldn't speak, he could hear her struggling on the line, now.

  "Well, say something?" He coaxed.

  "What do you want?" She asked, slightly panicked... just enough to make him even more suspicious.

  "Why does it surprise you, to hear from me? I would think you would have heard by now, from your boys, that I was back in Wisconsin. How'ya' doing?"

  "I'm fine...just fine. Married."

  "So am I, happily, I must say."

  "Second time I hear, good for you. Why are you calling me?"

  "Can I come there? Are you alone?"

  "Alone? Why would you want to come here?!"

  "I wanna talk to you about something."

  "About what?"

  "I don't wish to discuss it over the phone, I'm on my way." He figured she must be alone, or she would have quickly answered "no"; since she hadn't, he would take his chances.

  "Wait, Shawn-..."

  He hung up and pulled out of his parking space, heading for their address.

  Christine stood in nervous agony. The last person on earth she wanted to face again, ever - was Shawn. She hoped and prayed that he wasn't coming to see her about anything having to do with Benjamin. If she had somewhere to go, she would take off. Unfortunately, she was stranded at home with no way to leave because her car was in the shop, again, for the fourth time that year. Her boys were gone, Quincy was gone. She had planned to spend the day setting up her garden. Her seedlings were up at the perfect height and now, she need only get her rows set up. They had a lovely lot of land, on 2 acres, with a nice home that had been built around a mobile home. Now, only thing left showing of the mobile home was part of the face, which they would be doing over soon, extending the front of the house and adding a large porch with framed netting. No sense in over-worrying about why Shawn was coming to see her, he said he was on his way. If he was anywhere near the way he use to be when they were younger and dating, she could depend on that. It had taken many years to get over what might have been for them. There were times when she regretted hurting him as she had, and times, when she accepted that they would have probably never made it together anyway, not for the longhaul.

  Shawn was hard to be with.

  Christine walked outside, into their workshed and pulled out her tiller, deciding not to think about it. Years had passed, there was nothing he could do to her now, to hurt her; whatever existed between them was over and done with. They were both deep into their own lives, and according to him, he was happy. Which prompted the thought, which she spoke out loud, "So, why the hell can't you just leave me in peace! Dammit!" Her mind was shooting scattered pictures of them together. He had been really good-looking back then. All the girls would compare him to John Travolta's character, Barbarino - fighting over who they thought was cuter. Especially when Saturday Night Fever came out, Shawn became the closest thing to those hot times, and she was the one that had him. Only problem with him, he had been nothing like Barbarino - nothing at all funny about Shawn.

  By the time Christine had completed tilling up the squared off area for her garden, a dark- blue, Lincoln Navigator was pulling into her yard.

  She'd just come from in the house, bringing out her seedlings and setting them on her garden table, as Shawn drove up her drive and parked.

  Christine felt her heart slamming in her chest. Yes, he would be driving something like that. Something that shouted, MAN!

  He turned off the engine, staring through his windshield at Christine. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped from his vehicle. He noticed right away, that Christine had changed a great deal from when they were in school. She was no longer lithe and slender, but hefty and healthy looking. The things is, she was one of those women who looked much better heavier, than slender. The weight suited her. Her hair was no longer straight and long, cascading over her shoulders, as was in the days of her youth. It was now cut short, permed, and styled very nicely.

  Shawn smiled as he approached, needing a moment to gather his thoughts; he let his eyes move from her, over their property. They had a nice little spot secluded within the woods. Surrounded by trees, off of a backroad in New Lisbon, a small town in Wisconsin, not far from Camp Daniels. In fact, it was the very next town over, a fifteen minute drive on the little road called 12 & 16, which ran parallel in certain places to the interstate highway, 90-94. 12 & 16 could take you from Wisconsin Dells to La Crosse, offering the best in countryside scenery, rolling hills and valleys, with farming silos dotting the landscape, plus - less traffic.

  Christine could not believe her eyes. He was a much better looking man
, than he had been as a boy in his teens. He'd filled out, as many men do in their late 30's to 50's. So had Shawn; he was much broader, no longer slender, even if he was tone and fit back then. In school, he had the body of a young athlete, now - it was all man. How well she remembered him. He'd aged well, and worked out - no doubt. Nice, naturally thick arms, not overdone or misshapen, like many bodybuilders on steroids. His arms, shoulders, chest and solid waist was as it should look, not extreme. He still had a nice ass. Always had, gained from doing sprints when he ran track, and being head athlete in other sporting events. He had been the all-around athlete, and their coach loved him. No longer was his hair to his shoulders, as it had been back then; now, it was cut low. Very masculine, still black, with dapples of gray here and there, especially at the temples, side burns, and starting in his beard. She noted as well, while he looked fantastic, his age was in his eyes; those were bracketed by slight lines, crow's-feet - that only added to his looks, taking nothing away.

  "Nice place, you all have done well." He complimented as he approached.

  "Thanks - we try. I can't complain, except for the bad mosquito seasons. I don't like it much, then."

  "Oh yeah! I forgot about that! Mosquitoes! I don't think they're too bad, where I'm living."

  "Camp Daniels, right?" She offered that piece of knowledge.

  "Yeah, bought some property there, and my wife, owns the property opposite of it."

  "Wow... how nice."

  "Yes, it is. We're working on a bed and breakfast there. We have a ways to go yet, but it's started. At the same time, I'm building her a new home on my property, to accommodate all the family."

  Christine couldn't help but wonder if he was rubbing that in her face, even if it were a subtle rub to say, 'look what you blew'. Ignoring her thoughts, she commented, "The boys told me about your recent remarrying, you have a daughter as well, correct? From your previous marriage? In California?" It took everything in her not to smirk in his face at the fact that obviously, his first wife couldn't live with him, either. She wondered how long this marriage would last him.

  Shawn chuckled, "One thing about small towns and family, all will know, what they seek to know. Yes, I have a daughter, she's here with me now, her mother granted me full custody."

  She wondered why that was? Especially, considering his temper, "That's good." Christine nodded, they both felt themselves swallowed up by an awkward silence. Shawn stared down at her, thinking back and remembering. He knew he needed to be careful here, fishing for something else to say, he opened with what he hoped was natural, "So, what about you, just the two boys?"

  "Yeah... I uh, took care of myself after Kevin. Fortunately for me, Quincy could never have any children, due to health reasons, and he gladly took on the role of father to my boys. He always wanted children, and so - we turned out to be quite the match. For all intents and purposes, things are just as they should have been."

  "Not all things." Shawn started.

  "What - what'a'ya mean?" She gulped, asking.

  "What happened with you and Jake?"

  "Ohhh, you know Jake, besides - that's water under the bridge. Why you bringing that up? Is that why you came here, after all this time, to finally ask me, why?"

  "No, not really, but since you've brought it up, why not. So, why, Christine? Why, Jake?"

  "Shawn look, I don't wanna talk about that. It's in our past, can't we just leave it there? You're happily married, I'm happily married - let's not go back."

  "Why, Jake? Why my brother? What was it about him, that made it worth it to you, to do what you did?" He reiterated, ignoring her need to avoid the subject.

  "You know what Shawn, you'll never change, will you? You wanna know why Jake, fine, I'll tell you, why! He was funny! He made me laugh! He was silly, carefree, and made me feel light-hearted and joyful. The opposite of you! Shawn, you were too much! You were too mean! Too ready to set upon anyone who said or did the wrong thing to you. Or to me, or your brother's and sisters! You were OLD, Shawn! You were a bitter, mean, cantankerous old man, in a young man's body! With you, I was always walking on eggshells! Always afraid that today, or whatever day it was that we were together, I was going to have to stand aside, screaming and crying while you pummeled the hell out of someone! You scared me, Shawn!-..."

  "Not so much, that it kept you from sleeping with my brother!" He blazed resentfully.

  "Shawn - Jake - was a breath of fresh air, beside you! I was young! I was foolish! I should have told you how I felt, but I was too young to know how to deal with someone like you! So - yes, I looked forward to my happy time with Jake. I admit it. I'm sorry that I hurt you-..."

  "Psssh! You didn't hurt me! Him being my brother, did! I was more embarrassed than anything, if I must be so honest."

  "AH, yes! Of course! And I knew that, as well! Heaven forbid, that anyone should play the infamous Shawn McPherson, for a fool! How dare I!"

  "Fine, whatever - you've made your point. So, he made you laugh, and how long did that last? Hm? How long were you laughing, with him?"

  Christine stood staring up at him and turned away from him, setting up her seedlings to plant. With her back to him, she asked. "What do you want here, Shawn? I have plenty to do."

  "Is Benjamin my son?"

  The question was as good as a punch to the stomach, sucking the air right out of her. She stood, working her guts back into place. This was the reason she'd been on the edge for weeks now. Weeks, after hearing that Shawn was back home, and this time... to stay. "Leave it alone Shawn, Jake is their father."

  "Benjamin - I wanna know, is - Benjamin - my son?!"

  "No!"

  "Turn around and look at me, and say that."

  She snapped around, "NO! You hear me? No, he is not your son! He is my son. He is Jake's. Jake's name is on his birth certificate! Jake supported him! Quincy raised him!"

  "Let me rephrase the question. Am I Benjamin's biological father? The sperm donor?"

  Christine's throat locked. Her eyes filled with tears, "No. You're not."

  "You're lying! I can see it in your eyes, that you're lying!"

  "Shawn! Leave - it alone! You left, remember! You took off! Jake was here!"

  "I see, knocked up as you were, one of us was just as good as the other, to point the finger at! You accuse me of not wanting to look the fool! Looks like to me, you're guilty of the same thing! Rather than tell the truth, your choice was to save face, and claim him Jake's!"

  "For all I know, he could be Jake's!" She snapped. "Remember! I had you both!"

  Shawn snarled in disgust at her. "Yes, how well I do remember."

  "Shawn! Please stop and think about this! Benjamin has believed all of his life, that Jake is his father-..."

  "So, he is mine!"

  "I didn't say that! Did I? I said Benjamin has believed Jake his father, because I've always claimed that he was. I will maintain that claim until the day I die. He's not your son. You walked away, remember? Or rather, you ran. Don't disrupt my son's life over this!"

  "If he's my son, I have a right to know! If I'm his father, he should know that, as well!"

  "Shawn, you cannot expect to come back here 22 years later, and try making claims to someone you have no right to! Don't - disrupt - his life!"

  "You mean, don't disrupt your life! You mean, save you the humiliation you lied to avoid! I don't know what the big deal is, anyway! Everyone knows you let us both screw you! Now, you wanna-..."

  "Get the hell off of my property! YOU HEAR ME!? GET AWAY FROM ME AND LEAVE ME ALONE! HE'S JAKE'S SON!!! JAKE'S!! ACCEPT IT, SHAWN! ACCEPT IT!!!" She screamed, almost on the verge of hysteria.

  Shawn clamped his jaw shut, backed away from her, turned, got in his vehicle and kicked up dust out of there. No better off than he was before he came. More than anything, he felt it in his gut. Benjamin Caesar McPherson, came from him. Frustration, anger, and pain worked him from within. As much as he hated the thought, he may have to face a life of never telling him the truth
. Telling him that he, was in fact, his father... not Jake! The thought made Shawn pound his steering wheel in heated anger. He pulled off to the side, and lowered his head to the wheel to calm himself. Never seeing the vehicle that passed him, on the way to where he just left.

  Benjamin and Kevin both recognized the Lincoln as being Shawn's. They looked at each other and then continued on to their drive.

  "You think that was our Uncle? Shawn?" Kevin asked

  "I think so."

  "What would he be doing here?" Kevin asked next.

  Benjamin glanced at his younger brother and then back at the road ahead. He would turn around to go back and check on him, but couldn't because the country road was too narrow to turn around. Benjamin sighed finally and shrugged.

  "We gonna go back, maybe he was broke down?"

  "Yeah, we'll have to turn down our drive, first." Benjamin commented, making it to their driveway and then backing out of it, heading back the other direction. By the time they made it back to the spot where the Lincoln was sitting, it was gone.

  "Well, he wasn't broke down. Which means only one thing." Kevin commented.

  "Yeah, he must have gone to see mom."

  "Think word's gotten to him, about you?"

  "Maybe, I don't know." Benjamin returned.

  "What are you gonna do, if he does know? If that's why he was here?" Kevin went on questioning.

  "I don't know Kevin, just drop it, okay. He and I talked at the barbecue for hours, he didn't seem to think anything, then. I would imagine if he were my father-... hell, I don't know what to think!"

  "Why don't you just say, the hell with it, and ask mom! Ask her, once and for all... who is my father? Just ask!"

  "She always says, Jake. She's always told everyone, Jake. Why would she all of a sudden change it, and say Shawn!?"

  "So, you're just going to go on for the rest of your life, not knowing for sure!?"

  "I do know who my father is, Jacob Patrick McPherson."

  "You think... it's, Jake." Kevin shook his head, looking out of his window, as they talked on the side of the road. "I mean, all of these people, know who your father is, but you! It would drive me nuts! It used to piss me off when we were kids, being made fun of. I was, Jake's baby, you were Jake's maybe! God, the fights we use to have about it." Kevin shook his head and turned to stare at his brother's profile. "You do look just like him."