She backed out of her parking space, then drove out of the lot, accelerating onto the highway with Wes about a hundred feet behind her.
His presence helped her breathe a bit more easily as she got on the highway.
She’d head toward home and go from there.
Her head was fuzzy from emotions and the headache but she knew they had to fix this.
Together.
She and Michael would fix it together.
“For better or worse,” she mumbled to herself. “Nobody said it would be easy. For better or worse.”
Chapter Twelve
Tabitha
Exhaustion clung to Tabitha when she opened the door to their house. It was late. Really late. As in, the sun was trying to peek over the horizon. She felt as if she’d been up for days.
She’d driven around for another hour before coming home. Uncertainty turned her stomach.
Thank goodness for it still being the weekend, because she sorely needed it. Having to go to work with the weight of the world on her shoulders would have made the situation unbearably worse.
If that could be possible.
She closed the door to the garage, feeling panic in her own house as she stepped inside. She felt uncomfortable. Unsafe. Not physically. Michael would never hurt her. But the emotional stuff? Yeah.
Leaving the house had made her feel safe for a second or two, but she didn’t want to throw everything away, no matter how hurt she was. She’d needed a little space so she’d just gotten back in the car and left. No destination in mind. Her car had just kind of steered itself to Michael’s office. She’d just wanted to clear her head. Find some answers.
But nothing had changed.
Nothing was answered.
Nothing remained but the hurt and fatigue. She’d told Michael she was safe on the text.
Safe was relative, as she stood on a very narrow fence. Alone.
Her friends were there for her but that was…different.
The man she belonged to, collar or not, hadn’t been there, which had shattered any feeling of real safety.
She took a deep breath and second-guessed her decision not to stay at the hotel. She could still go back. Check out at noon then figure stuff out. But she didn’t want to do that. Didn’t want to be away from home.
Away from Michael?
She didn’t want that, either. Not really.
But the clinging disappointment weighed her down, making her head foggy and her emotions raw.
The light beneath the microwave was on but nothing else. Beside the stove sat a vase of flowers. She stared at it, erecting another wall to keep herself safe until she could process her emotions again.
The thought of Michael being up waiting for her had run through her head for the past couple of hours. She knew they were going to have to talk, but the idea of having to rehash everything when she was already so tired made her eyes fill with tears.
She squeezed her eyelids closed and exhaled again, trying desperately for some kind of serenity.
Attempting to be quiet, she set her purse down on the counter along with the bag from Robin and hung her keys on the little hook by the coffee machine. Indecision swamped her. She wanted a shower and food and a hug and—
Light flooded the kitchen and mixed emotions erupted inside her.
Sadness and thankfulness and a more than a little bit of panic.
She turned around.
Michael stood in nothing but boxers on the other side of the kitchen that led into the living room. His hand was still on the light switch as he stared at her. His eyes were bleary, his hair mussed as if he’d been tossing and turning.
“Thank God you’re home,” he whispered.
Relief morphed into regret as he lowered his arm.
His muscles bunched as if he was going to step toward her, but then he relaxed.
Silently leaving the decision of the next step up to her spoke volumes. He knew things were bad. He knew.
As she’d driven home, she’d worried about how she would feel when she saw him.
Weary?
Sad?
Or something worse.
Nothing at all?
That was her most awful fear.
“Baby, I’m so sorry. I know it’s not enough. I know it’s not good enough for what I did, but…” He rubbed a hand over his hair and shook his head. “I’m just so sorry.”
Emotion expanded between them at his simple apology. Remorse filled the room and Tabitha closed her eyes.
When she saw him, she wanted to be able to just say it was okay and move on. The need to brush it all away and bury it held so much pull she considered it for about two seconds. Wanting their connection forged again overpowered everything else.
Tears filled her eyes, slipping over her lower lashes.
“Oh, baby.” Michael exhaled the words as if his heart were ripping in two. He pressed forward, eating up the distance between them.
She opened her arms to him a second before he got to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist to lift her against his chest was exactly what she’d wanted. Exactly what she’d needed tonight when she’d driven around trying to find some kind of understanding. Forgiveness?
Sorrow swamped her, sucking her under, into a place she didn’t want to acknowledge. A dark space she’d been skirting for a lot longer than she’d been willing to admit.
Alone.
That was where she’d been for days. Weeks. Months.
Racking sobs broke free as Michael swayed with her back and forth.
“I’m so sad,” she mumbled past her tears as she buried her face in his neck and held on tighter. The tears came faster and she couldn’t stop them. She tried so hard to clamp off the hurt but the unbidden pain tore out of her.
As if a floodgate had been released, the tears took over, drowning everything else in their path.
“I’ve got you, my love. I’ve got you.” He scooped her up behind the knees and cradled her inside his embrace.
They moved, but she didn’t know in which direction. Her eyelids were squeezed so firmly she didn’t know if he’d turned off the light.
Then he took the stairs toward their master suite. He didn’t stop until he was in the bathroom, but he didn’t set her down.
Sitting with her in his lap on the side of the big tub, he reached over a bit and turned on the water. She held on tightly, unwilling to let go until he turned the water off. Her sobs quieted but the tears wouldn’t stop.
He stood in silence and gently set her on her feet as she relaxed her hold around his neck.
Quietly, he undressed her, then grabbed a clip she had hooked on the side of their towel rack. He twisted her hair up and secured it, then lifted her into the bath. Quickly he stripped off his boxers and stepped into the tub behind her.
He sank into the water and pulled her back against his chest. Bathing together had been something they used to do all the time. Just one more thing that had gone by the wayside when life got in the way.
Turning to the side, she rested against him and took a deep breath.
“Good girl. And another.” He inhaled slowly, encouraging her to do the same.
She tried.
Good girl. She didn’t feel like a good girl.
More tears tumbled free and mixed with the warm water.
“I hate feeling weak,” she whispered, and her bottom lip trembled.
“You are not weak, Tabby. Not at all.” Michael shook his head against her hair and lifted her chin to look down at her. “You’re stronger than I am.”
She opened her mouth to tell him how wrong he was and he kissed the words from her lips.
“It’s true and you can’t argue the point.”
“But you—”
He kissed her again. “You’ve gone how long trying to handle this alone? Months?” He pulled her close to his chest again. “I’ve almost lost my shit a million times over these last few months and that was with your complete support. I barely made it through.
You wreck me with how you’ve loved me. No, Tabby. You are not weak, do you hear me? You’re so much stronger than I am it’s not funny.”
Brushing tears from her cheek, she closed her eyes. “I don’t feel strong right now.”
“You don’t have to be. I’m here. I’ve got you. We’ll get through this.”
“Promise?” It was out before she thought about what she was saying. New tears welled over her lids and she shut her eyelids tight to keep from bawling again. She almost didn’t want him to answer.
“On my life, I promise. God, I’m sorry.”
They stayed in the tub, clinging to each other as Michael splashed water along her back and exposed shoulder to keep her warm.
Soon her eyelids grew heavy and she nodded off.
Michael woke her with kisses to the top of her head. “I don’t want you getting cold. Let me get you out and dried off. I’ll put you to bed. I’ll—take the couch if you don’t want me there.”
She shook her head and tried to speak. It took her two tries to clear her throat so she could tell him, “Don’t leave me. Being alone in our bed is the last thing I want.”
He closed his eyes, nodded as if in prayer, and held her close for a few more seconds.
Tabitha stood as Michael steadied her and they stepped out.
Wrapping her up in a towel first, he dried her off then got one for himself. He pulled the plug to drain the tub and she brushed her teeth.
She got into bed and Michael pulled the curtains in their bedroom to block out some of the morning glow.
She stared at the sliver of light shining between the fabric and for some reason she couldn’t look away. Something unexpected filled her chest with the dawning of a new day.
Hope.
Michael climbed into bed behind her, moving in close to spoon her body as she stared at the bright reminder that today was brand new and it would be what they made it.
As he tried to pull her close, she twisted around to face him.
Meeting his gaze was difficult, but each journey started with a single step.
She sank her teeth into her bottom lip as she tried to decide what to say. Trying to sleep with no real words between them wouldn’t do. Anxious sleep was worse than no sleep at all.
“What, baby?” He used his fingertips and traced her cheeks, her nose, her lips. “Talk to me. Yell at me. Whatever you need.”
“I want to talk tomorrow morning. Well, later this morning, when we wake up. I want to tell you what’s bothering me and I want you to talk to me. I know not talking tonight goes against all the fibers in your being, but I just can’t do it tonight. I honestly have nothing left for that conversation. That okay?”
A small smile lifted the corners of his lips. “I thought about pushing it. Thought maybe if I explained why I’ve been absent so much it might make it better. But it’s not my call. Not by a long shot. If you need to sleep first so we can fix this then that’s what we’re going to do.”
Tabitha just stared at her husband. She cupped his cheek and kissed him. Scooting up in bed to get at a better angle, she then kissed him again. And again. “You have the softest lips I’ve ever kissed,” she whispered against his mouth as she kissed him again, sliding her hand to the back of his neck to hold him closer. “And I love your scruff. Have I ever told you that before?”
His hands on her naked flesh sent tingling sensations everywhere he touched. Her hip, her waist, her back. “I think you may have mentioned something like that before. But you’re wrong on one thing. Yours are much softer.” Tugging her shoulders, he pulled her close so he could kiss her.
He touched his mouth to hers, kissing and loving her.
She opened to him and slid her tongue between his lips.
Michael’s cock jerked against her abdomen and a tiny moan passed between them. Tabitha liked not knowing who made the noise. He reached behind her knee, pulling her leg between his.
“I want to do a different kind of talking.”
“What kind?” he asked then kissed her again.
“I want to make love to you,” she whispered.
He paused and tilted her head back a tiny bit to look into her eyes. “Are you sure, baby?”
Staring at him, she saw the man she married. The same man she’d trusted with her heart years ago, and she wanted to show how much she needed him. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my whole life.”
He stared back at her, love in his eyes. “Nothing would make me happier than making love to you.”
She smiled and moved to straddle his hips. “You can have your turn in a minute.” She settled above him, then reached between them and grasped his stiff cock. “Right now?” Rubbing the head of his cock along her slit made her wet and needy. “Right now, I’m going to make love to you. I need it.”
“Fuucckkkk,” he groaned as she lowered herself down onto him.
Their connection slipped into place.
She’d missed it after being with other men. She knew that. Had already admitted it was something she desperately needed. But she hadn’t acknowledged half of her need for him.
Perfection had nothing on how right Michael felt inside her.
Her sex sheathed his hard length and he grabbed her hips, holding her in place. “Wait a second. Just give me a second or I’m gonna come so fast it’ll be over before it begins.”
A quiet pride filled her chest. “Really? Could I really make you come that fast?”
He gripped her hips harder for a second then he finally relaxed. “I’ve told you countless times before, you are the hottest woman I’ve ever been with. By far. If you wanted to make me come it would take less than a minute.”
“Maybe that’s exactly what I want. What I need?” The words came out in the form of a question because she really didn’t know.
She wanted to make love to him for hours, but she also wanted to know how much he needed her. How much he wanted to be in bed with her, naked, silent, but saying so much.
He palmed her breast, caressing her nipple before he pinched it softly. “Fuck, baby. You can have whatever you need. Whenever you decide you want it, trust me, it’s yours.”
She lifted herself up, pushing on his chest to get more friction and slid back down. She squeezed the muscles in her ass to ride him. To make love to him.
Using only her hips, she made tight circles until the muscles in Michael’s jaw went rigid.
Slowly, she pulled off again and paused.
“You’re killing me. Fuck. Hottest wife imaginable. Best girl. Sexiest submissive. Killing me.”
Tabitha bit her bottom lip and tilted her head to the side to stare down at the man she loved with all her heart.
With his hands on her hips, he helped her find the rhythm she wanted. Needed.
Up and down from her knees, she took him inside her.
His shaft throbbed as she ground her pussy onto him.
Sensation tingled in her pelvis as she worked her hips. She wanted to come on him. With him inside her. But she couldn’t get enough friction just fucking him.
As if she’d asked him, Michael slipped his thumb between them. “You’re so fucking wet.” He jerked inside her and lifted his hips on each stroke.
“How. Did. You. Know?” Tabitha asked him as her orgasm barreled toward her. Almost there. Her heart fluttered in her chest, looking down at the man she’d given herself to so long ago.
“That you needed something else to come, Tabby?”
Her breath caught in her chest at the use of her nickname. Nothing affected her like the man beneath her. Nobody else even came close. She nodded, speeding up. The pleasure racing toward her couldn’t be stopped. It could only be wallowed in.
“Because I know you.” He swirled his thumb as if he were licking her clit. “I know your body, your reactions, your needs. I know my wife. My possession. And pleasuring you is the most important thing in my world.”
Heat suffused her limbs and she dug her nails into his chest, making him hiss.
He lifted the hood of her clit with one hand and rubbed the sensitive nub beneath with the other.
Pleasure detonated from where he touched her and she rode his thumb and cock. “Michael,” she breathed as she came.
“Fuck, baby. Come on my cock. Come on me. I’m about to explode inside you, but not until you wring every ounce of pleasure from me first. Holy shit.”
He never stopped moving his thumb. Never ceased fucking up into her, even when her rhythm stumbled.
“Oh, God,” she breathed as another wave of ecstasy raced to the top of her head, making her entire body tingle.
Her lungs filled with oxygen just because it was an automatic response. The entire world zeroed in on her lover. Her husband. Her everything.
Shaking as she twitched and jerked in pleasure, she locked gazes with him.
His breath sawed in and out of his lungs and his chest had gone hard beneath her fingers.
“I love you,” she whispered.
He stretched his neck, grinding his teeth together, and grabbed her hips again. He held her so tightly she’d wear his marks the next day if she was lucky.
“Love you,” he told her. “So much. More than anything.” He closed his eyes then stared at her again. “Thank you.”
“For what?” Sensation raced up her spine and his cock throbbed inside her again.
“Loving me. Making love to me. Coming home. All of that and so much more.”
Tabitha pulled his hands from her hips and laced her fingers with his. She bit her lip and swiveled her hips again. Another shiver trembled down to her toes.
A small smile lifted her lips and he shook his head.
“What’s that look for? Should I be worried?”
“Maybe.” Using his hands to steady herself, she tucked her feet up onto his thighs and spread her legs, sitting back on her heels each time she relaxed.
“Oh, fuck,” they said together.
He slid deeper into her sex and she ground her pussy and ass against his balls on the downstroke.
“I want it,” she murmured down at him, and squeezed his hands.
The vein in his neck throbbed just as his mouth fell open and his cock jerked inside her.
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