Lost in Paradise: A Sinners on Tour Honeymoon

by Olivia Cunning

  “That’s not very romantic,” he said.

  “You can’t touch me properly when I’m wearing this thing.”

  “Too bad,” he said. “Keeping you safe is more important than touching your boobs on deck.” Though just a few hours earlier he’d thought boob touching was more important.

  “Are you sure about that?”

  She turned to claim his lips and kissed him passionately. When she pulled away and settled into his side again, touching her boobs did seem pretty fucking important.

  “Look—another shooting star,” she said, pointing at the sky. “Make a wish.”

  “I wish life vests weren’t so bulky,” he grumbled.

  She laughed and squeezed his hand. “Glad you agree with me. You’re going to make a great husband, Sedica.”

  He silently vowed to do his best.

  After a moment of watching for more wishing stars, she said, “Tell me something about your father.”

  His heart twisted, but once he started talking, the words tumbled freely. He told her stories of their sailing days—none of which were as exciting or eventful as his harrowing adventure with her today. He also described the delicious meat the man had cooked at every family BBQ—the sole reason Sed knew how to grill—his subtle sense of humor, the way he let those he loved know he cared even though he seldom spoke his feelings.

  At first, Sed felt sad sharing about a life that had now ended, but the more he talked, the more he remembered and the happier he became that Jessica had pushed him to share. Sed would never see his dad again, or sail with him or chow down on the best burgers ever grilled over charcoal, but he would always remember; the man had left his mark on him. Dad would live on through him, and Sed would pass some parts of the man on to his grandchildren. That was inevitable. And comforting. His dad was gone, but his influence wasn’t. It would be as if his dad’s life stretched toward eternity. If he hadn’t gone sailing with Jessica and gotten into this bind, Sed doubted he’d have realized that he could still feel close to Dad even though he was gone. His grief already felt more tolerable. Not because he was starting to forget Dad, but because he was allowing himself to remember.

  It was splendid cuddling beneath the stars, trusting that the woman beside him would support him throughout the rest of his life, hoping that she could learn to lean on his support as well. Jessica wasn’t only his treasured lover but also his best friend, his partner.

  He eventually realized she’d stopped responding to his tales and encouraging him to share more. She hadn’t had the same family life that he’d taken for granted, and she craved normalcy whether she knew it or not, but not even stories about disastrous holidays had drawn a murmur from her for several minutes. Was she brooding over her past? He shifted so he could see her lovely face and found her features relaxed in sleep. He smiled, glad she could rest. He ended the day wishing for lasting love on every falling star that streaked across the night sky.

  Chapter Eleven

  The loud cry of a seagull pulled Jessica from a strange dream. She’d been picking up grains of rice that had been tossed to offer best wishes to the newlyweds, yet she hadn’t been gathering the rice to save birds from bellyaches but because she and Sed might need that rice to survive. Talk about a nightmare. She groaned and sat up, blinking at the rising sun, and then looked down at her sleeping husband. She would have loved to watch his face as the sunrise brightened his handsome features, but her compressed bladder wouldn’t allow for that plan.

  As soon as she shifted away from his side, Sed’s arms shot out and snaked around her as if she were in danger of falling. She didn’t think he was even awake.

  “Sed,” she whispered, her throat parched. She licked her lips and tried again. “Sed, I need to pee.”

  He groaned as he returned to consciousness, his grip on her slowly loosening. “Did you sleep okay?” he asked.

  “Surprisingly, I did,” she said, kissing his stubble-roughened jaw because it was the only part of him she could reach. “Must have been the pillow. How about you? Any nightmares?”

  He scowled and then shook his head. “Not a one. Happy four-day anniversary.”

  Her heart panged at his sweetness. He was like this only for her. The rest of the world thought he was all badass metal vocalist who did as much screaming and growling for a living as he did singing, but Jessica was allowed to see so much more of him, and she didn’t mean his naked body, though that was a definite perk.

  “Happy four-day anniversary. Let’s hope this day is a little less exciting than the last one.”

  “I hope it’s just as exciting, but far less terrifying.”

  “I’d be fine with that too. Can I pee now?”

  “I would appreciate it if you held it until my leg is out of the way.”

  “I didn’t mean right this second.” She slapped his belly playfully. “I was planning to use the el weirdo toilet. Let me up.”

  He chuckled and released her. She couldn’t resist kissing his lips before getting her feet under her. She was a bit unsteady beneath the sway of the sailboat as she made her way below deck, but that same gentle rocking had gifted her with a deeply satisfying sleep all night. Maybe that was why Sed had slept through the night without dreaming terrible things. Or maybe this trip had helped Sed find a new way to hold on to his father’s memory. She hoped that was the case.

  It was still dimly lit in the cabin, so she turned on the LED lantern to guide her way. After using the crazy toilet and limiting the amount of water she used to wash her hands, she headed for the hidden compartment where the MREs were stored. She still wasn’t convinced they’d make it back to land today and had no idea how much water the boat had in reserve. The jugs of water stashed between the boxes of survival meals were reassuring. And they did have all that bottled water they’d brought in the cooler. The ice that had melted in the cooler wasn’t potable, but they could use it to wash. They’d be able to survive several weeks at least. That knowledge allowed her to breathe a little easier.

  She grabbed some trail mix packets and high-energy bars for their breakfast and returned above deck to find Sed examining the instrument panel. The handheld radio beside him was still picking up nothing but static. He thanked her for bringing him something to eat, but set it aside to tap on the compass.

  “Compass still wonky?” she asked.

  “It’s really weird,” he said. “I didn’t know lightning could fuck up a compass.”

  “I think lightning can mess up just about anything.” Their entire boat had been put out of commission by a single strike. “Do you think maybe it just blew a bunch of fuses?” she asked, picking the raisins out of her trail mix and placing them in the inedible pile. She wasn’t that hungry.

  “That’s possible. Now if only I knew where the electrical box is located and if we have any spare fuses.”

  Jessica hunted through various compartments in the cockpit until she found a thick owner’s manual. While she leafed through it, Sed began searching for the fuse panel by opening little doors under the dash.

  “Found it,” he said before she’d even found the right page in the manual. He tugged a fuse free and examined the little bit of metal and plastic. “Completely fried,” he said, smiling at her. “Good thinking, genius wife.”

  Her thinking was a lot clearer this morning. Now that the storm had passed, and her every thought wasn’t consumed with concerns for their survival, she could approach their predicament much more logically.

  Sed methodically removed each fuse from the panel. “Fried,” he said as he checked them and set them in a growing pile. “Fried. Fried. Every last one of them.”

  “Do you think that’s all that’s wrong with the electrical system?” If that was the case, they could be up and running in no time. Assuming they had spare fuses on board.

  “It’s possible,” he said, starting a new search through the compartments. “Knowing my dad, he has spare fuses stashed away.”

  “Your dad did think of everything, d
idn’t he?”

  “He was always putting everyone else first.”

  “Just like you.”

  Sed’s eyebrows drew together. “Like me?”

  “Yep. Exactly like you.”

  Perhaps it was the life vest, but his chest suddenly looked more puffed out than usual. And there was no missing the pride in his smile.

  “That’s more credit than I deserve,” he said.

  “Are you trying to goad me into an argument? Take the compliment. It happens to be true.”

  Still smiling, Sed opened another cabinet. “I better find those fuses.”

  Jessica helped him look for them. They found two spare fuses at the bottom of a toolbox. Problem was, they needed over a dozen to replace those that had been destroyed.

  “Maybe we can get something working,” he said. “One or two vital components.”

  “What’s most important?”

  Jessica settled down with the manual again and found a diagram showing what each fuse in the box was connected to. Sed just started plugging a new fuse into the slots one at a time to see if anything fired up.

  “What should we try first?” she asked. “The radio?” She slid a finger down the list of electrical components, looking for the radio.

  “Antenna was destroyed, so even if we got it going, I’m not sure how far the signal would carry.”

  “Navigation? Engine battery?” She found that on a separate diagram. “That fuse is down below by the engine.”

  “There’s a second fuse panel?”

  “Three of them, actually. There’s one in the kitchen too.”

  “Maybe those fuses are fine, and we can nab some for up here. Where’s the panel?”

  She grinned at him. “Wouldn’t you rather open every cabinet in the galley hunting for it the hard way?”

  “Not when I have a handy manual reader at my disposal.”

  But he wasn’t patient enough for her to locate the information. He was already on his way below deck when she called after him. “There’s a small panel near the ceiling to the left of the stove.”

  “Got it!” he yelled back.

  Jessica crossed her fingers and sent a silent prayer to Poseidon, not knowing which god would be in charge of electrical fuses. Perhaps Zeus would be more amenable to cutting them a break. He had zapped them with lightning yesterday, after all. He owed them one.

  A few minutes later Sed came back up the steps with a handful of fuses. He checked them all carefully in the early morning sunlight.

  “They’re all fried too. Every single one of them.”

  “So we have two fuses for the entire boat.” That did not bode well for a quick recovery, but it was better than zero fuses.

  “I’m going to try navigation and the sail winches,” he said. “If we can figure out where we are and get the sails up, we don’t need power. We’ll use the wind to get us back to shore.”

  “What can I do to help?”

  “Kiss me for luck.”

  She stood and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him so deeply and thoroughly that a winning lottery ticket was likely to fall out of the sky and land in his hand.

  “Mmm,” he murmured. “Maybe I should have requested that you fuck me for luck.”

  She pecked him on the lips. “We’ll go that route if the kiss doesn’t do the trick. Wouldn’t want to use up all my luck right out of the gate.”

  “Point me toward the correct fuse slot,” he said, handing her the manual.

  “You only love me for my instruction-reading abilities.”

  “A definite perk in this situation.”

  While he waited for her to carefully read the diagram and cross-reference written instructions, he munched on the trail mix she’d brought him. He even ate her unwanted raisins. Such a selfless husband.

  “We make a great team,” she said. “When we aren’t arguing.”

  “I’d say I hope we never argue again, but it would be a lie.” He pelted her with a candy-coated chocolate. “Make-up sex is a personal vice of mine.”

  She had the same personality flaw. “I’m sure we’ll find something stupid to argue about.”

  “Like how many ridiculous pillows you want to put on our bed.”

  “Decorative pillows are not ridiculous.”

  “Yeah, they are. Complete waste of space, time, and money.”

  She could feel her temper starting to flare. “Well, I like them!”

  “Then you can have as many as you want. At least until I need to start an argument. Then I’ll chuck them out the nearest window.”

  “You wouldn’t dare.”

  “I wouldn’t?” He grinned and pointed at the owner’s manual. “Got it figured out yet?”

  “I think so.”

  They positioned themselves side by side in front of the fuse panel, and she pointed out the slots he wanted while he inserted the fuses. The navigation panel flickered to life, and they exchanged a high five.

  “It’s working,” he said. “I guess the battery fuses are okay, then. I forgot to check them.” They watched the screen load for several minutes before deciding to raise the sails while they waited.

  As soon as the fuse was inserted, the winches worked, and Sed used them to raise the sails. But he had no control over moving the booms to catch the wind from the proper direction. Jessica ran her finger down the list and told him to move the winch fuse to a different slot, which gave him access to different controls. He steered them east—the direction they’d seen the sun rise not long before. The navigation screen still hadn’t loaded.

  “Maybe the GPS data got erased by the power surge. Can it reload it from a satellite?” Jessica asked.

  “I have no idea. We’ll have to wait and see. I just hope it doesn’t drain the battery in the meantime.”

  Jessica didn’t find any information on their predicament in the manual. “So we just keep sailing east until the handheld picks up someone’s signal?”

  “Hard to tell for sure if we’re still heading due east. We can easily get off course.”

  The sun had risen far above the horizon now, but they seemed to still be heading east or possibly northeast. But he was right; it was hard to tell.

  “We’ll run into land eventually,” she said.

  “Well, hopefully we don’t literally run into land. I’ve had enough disasters for one honeymoon.”

  “How do you slow this thing down?”

  “Lower the sails.”

  “Well, if the navigation system is useless, you might as well put that second fuse back in the electric winch control.”

  “Sounds like a plan. Why don’t you try hailing with the portable radio again? We should be getting closer to shore. Maybe someone will hear us this time.”

  She made her way back to the handheld, which was resting on the seat where they’d slept the night before. The channel display was blank, so she switched it on. Only to find it was already on.

  “Uh, Sed.” She shook the little radio in his direction. “The batteries are dead.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Sed had to laugh. Of course the handheld radio’s batteries were dead. Why wouldn’t they be? They had two fuses, no navigation, no compass, no far-range radio, and now no short-range radio. And if he didn’t manage their remaining engine battery power properly when using the winches and autopilot, they’d soon be without the small gains they’d made that morning. But he wasn’t going to bring up that concern with Jess. He’d tried the engine again earlier, but even with the fuse in the proper slot, it wouldn’t kick over. No engine meant no alternator which meant the battery he was using wouldn’t recharge. So they needed to get to shore as quickly as possible. He just hoped he was going in the right direction. He wouldn’t even let himself worry about the possibility of missing Trey’s wedding that was to take place in a couple days. Trey meant the world to him, but getting his wife and unborn child safely on land was his only focus.

  “I’m going to try my cellphone again,” Jess said.
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br />   Sed smiled at her determination. She made it possible for him not to despair. They’d get through this and any other challenge life handed them because they were a team and he couldn’t fathom a better partner than the one he’d married.

  A moment later she returned to his side and handed him an open bottle of water. How had she known he was thirsty?

  “Still no signal,” she said. “Just keep sailing.”

  She moved to the seating area near the back of the boat and watched the water as they glided along its choppy surface. Sed focused his gaze farther out, searching for a hint of land or other boats, but so far, the water was endless. How far had they drifted during that storm?

  “Is that a dolphin?” Jessica pointed at a dark shape near the side of the boat.

  Sed squinted at the waves. “Too big to be a dolphin.”

  “A whale? How cool!”

  She leaned over the rail to get a closer look. The sea creature crested—its fin breaching the surface of the water—and she scrambled backward, toppling over into the seating area. “Sh- shark!” She sat upright, her hair in disarray and her eyes wide.

  “Big motherfucker.” And even cooler than a whale.

  “You didn’t tell me there were sharks out here!” She crawled back into the cockpit and squeezed into the captain’s chair with him. Like he could possibly protect her from an enormous shark.

  “He’s not bothering anything. Just checking out the boat and looking for breakfast.”

  “That’s exactly what I’m worried about,” she said.

  “We’re safe as long as he doesn’t—”

  The boat shuddered as the shark plowed into its side.

  “It’s trying to knock us overboard and eat us.”

  Sed highly doubted the creature had enough brain cells to devise that complex a plan. “He’s probably looking for a painkiller after knocking himself silly on the hull.”

  The dark shape had vanished beneath the surface of the water and was no longer visible. Sed kept an eye out for it, though. He wasn’t afraid that they’d fall overboard and get eaten. He was worried that the dumb fish would damage the rudder and he wouldn’t be able to steer the boat at all.