Leah's Story Finding Jake

by E. S Hoy

  Prologue

  1994

  Mummy said everything would be fine now thanks to the man. She had been gone a long time now it was getting cold in the car and I was not wearing my warm coat. Mummy had packed all our things; she was excited when we got in the car to come to meet him. The man was a friend of my mum’s he came to the flat sometimes, mummy always looked pretty when he came. I never saw the man;

  “Go and watch the telly in your room Leah I will come and get you when he has gone” he didn’t stay very long but he was quite noisy, he shouted her name a lot I think he must be a bit deaf. When mummy had a baby in her tummy the man stopped coming, mummy was sad then we didn’t have much food sometimes Suzie would leave us a bag of food if she had been working.

  Suzie helped mummy when Jake was born. Suzie lived downstairs, she was in charge of the flats we lived in and got work for my mummy. I loved the baby I wanted to call him Jake because of the Tweenies, Jake was very cute tiny and wrinkly, I helped mummy bath him and do his nappies. It was hard to keep warm in the flat because it was snowing outside so we all slept together in our clothes.

  We were running out of nappies and food, it was not winter anymore Jake was nearly sitting up. One day things got very bad mummy rang the man, she screamed and shouted at him, then we packed all our things in bags, mummy was crying but happy, we were going to live somewhere new with a garden and a new school for me, the man was going to help us.

  I was very bored now I had been doing as I was told

  “Stay in the car Leah I will just be one minute” she was gone a long time; it was longer than a minute. A man opened the car door he looked at me and smiled but didn’t say hello, then he took Jake and left. He had dropped his hat he needed that hat I put it in my pocket for later. I waited for mummy and Jake to come back but they didn’t, so I did something naughty I got out of the car when I wasn’t supposed to.

  It was dark I whispered in case the man came back, I could see mummy lying on the floor, I shouted her but she didn’t speak. When I got there I slipped in some wet stuff and landed on top of her she was cold maybe that’s why she didn’t get up. Mummy’s eyes were open but she didn’t speak to me. If I lay on top of her I could warm her up like at home so I wrapped my arms round her tummy holding her tight and then I fell asleep.

  When I woke up I was in a big bed with soft pillows, a lady was staring at me, “Is my mummy warm now? I tried to keep her warm, she was so cold” the old lady started to cry, she told me that my mummy was in heaven now so she would always be warm but she wouldn’t be with me anymore. The lady said she would look after me now, she was my Gran and she seemed nice but I hadn’t met her before maybe she had Jake

  “Have you got Jake? “I asked her and she smiled at me

  “Who is Jake sweetie?” she didn’t have him then

  “My mummy’s baby” she looked at a policeman who was at the door he shook his head, they talked about me like I wasn’t there

  “She is probably in shock, it must be a favourite doll or imaginary friend or something, the poor kid” I tried to say no it was my brother but they ignored me, no signs of any baby in the car or our flat there was no baby. I knew that there was a baby why didn’t they? Where was my Jake?

  I liked living with Gran, she was nice to me but I made everyone cross when I talked about the baby they had lots of doctors visit me to help me stop talking about him, so I just thought about him now instead, every night I looked at the sky

  “Night night Jake hope you are in a nice soft bed like me”

  Chapter 1

  Present Day

  Moving day tomorrow Lucinda had sorted a new flat for us in town near to our new jobs. We had both graduated with flying colours now Lucinda would join the world of Law like her brother and father before her. Me well I was going to start work for a large newspaper working in the crime division as a court reporter, a very good position for a post grad student.

  Lucinda Richmond was my best friend we had met at boarding school when we were both twelve, she was from a wealthy family but her mother had died of cancer when she was ten. Her dad had to send her and Adam her older brother away to school because he was never at home.

  She was not like me, she was popular fun and sporty. Me I was quiet studious arty and from a mother who was a murdered prostitute a history I had managed to hide thanks to my Grandmother who changed my surname to hers Fellows. My grandmother paid for all my schooling until she passed away a year ago. Luckily there was a large pot of money from the sale of her house that had me covered until I could earn my own money one day.

  I had been bullied at school, being an orphan raised by an older lady with no fashion knowledge meant I bore the brunt of the brunt of the elite girls tormenting. The bullying was fine I got used to it teachers did nothing I think they probably looked down on me too if it wasn’t for the fact my bills were always paid on time I would have been out on my ear.

  Lucinda found me one day sitting alone in the toilets reading what others had put about me on the wall, she helped me scrub it off and has never left my side since. I loved Lucinda she knew how much it hurt to lose a mum, she knew almost everything that had happened to me but we didn’t talk about it, (she didn’t know about Jake though) sometimes I thought maybe I had dreamt up Jake to fill a hole in my sad little life but deep down I knew he was somewhere.

  I spent Christmas’s at the Richmond’s home, as my Gran always went on a cruise with her friend over the winter months. Lucy’s father Ray was very kind to me always made me feel welcome and her housekeeper made the best stew I have ever tasted. Adam her brother was always there too, aloof and snotty he never registered my existence. Adam was five years older than his sister and attended an all-boys boarding school. Sometimes I hated him he was all the things I hated about people with money, stuck up and condescending. I haven’t been to the Richmond’s since before University; we had got our flat and been independent ladies for the last four years. We had great parties and worked very hard as both of us were ambitious; the work we had put in had paid off as our results had shown both achieving a first class honours degree.

  Our new flat was going to be a lot bigger, I had only had a quick look Lucy had sorted it all and we were all packed up ready to go first thing in the morning.

  “Glass of wine Leah?” I roused myself from my single bed and wandered into the sparse looking kitchenette.

  “Do we have any glasses?” I asked, she handed me a plastic cup that had been in the flat when we got it,

  “Mm Pinot in plastic very classy” we giggled raised a toast then sipped our wine whilst sitting on crates, Lucy was staring at me in a way that made me self-conscious

  “What are you looking at?” I snapped, she smiled sadly

  “Leah you are so pretty when are you going to let the world know? You cover yourself in baggy clothes to hide your amazing dancer’s body, you scrape back your hair every day, I have never seen you in a dress or with a scrap of make up on. I am determined when we are settled to give you a makeover in time for our flat warming party” I sighed, she was always on about how pretty I was, I just didn’t see it at all.

  There was only room for one glamour girl in our flat, and that was Lucy with her shiny brown shoulder length hair, perfect figure and lovely blue eyes. The other students of both sexes were drawn to our Lucy, she was so warm and friendly, and an amazing taste in clothes made sure she always got noticed. I was no antisocial virgin though don’t get me wrong, in the dark at a few of our wilder parties I had got down and dirty a few times. No one had ever asked me to be a girlfriend though or treated me as anything but a drunken fumble it did make me feel insecure. I had accepted there was no prince charming going to make an appearance so I didn�
�t lose any sleep over it. Lucy was right about one thing, the dancing had given me a toned body. I had studied ballet and contemporary dance throughout boarding school, my dance teacher always gave me the lead in shows, I had also earned extra money through Uni versity as a backing dancer at the Palace theatre, dancing made me feel beautiful and free, the one place I allowed myself to let go.

  A few glasses of wine later we both turned in for the night, I was excited to move the only thing I wasn’t looking forward to, was that Adam, had offered to help us move, he was in town at the moment. As a successful barrister he was mostly based in London at his father’s law firm. He was working on a high profile case that was going to be heard in Manchester.

  I suppose it was good of him to offer to give us a hand, but he was a miserable git, granted it was four years since I had seen him but he never spoke to me or acknowledged I was in the room at Christmas times, so unless he had been for a lobotomy I can’t imagine he would speak to me tomorrow either.

  Lucy always apologised for her brothers rudeness, she made out it was because he was still troubled over his mums death. He was five years older than Lucy the suddenness of her death had affected him more, it was Adam that was with her when she finally passed away.

  Adam didn’t know my story Lucy was the only person who did; she had wanted to tell Adam so he would be nicer to me but I made her promise not to. I did not want him to be polite just because he felt sorry for me plus I was tough skinned his attitude hadn’t bothered me, it was what I expected from men so he hadn’t upset anyone but Lucy with his behaviour.

  I had trouble sleeping, memories were stirring again in my dreams, it always happened with any big change in my life, school home or otherwise but Jake was always there his little fist waving to me as he was lifted from the car. I lay awake wondering where he was, not for the first time I thought about trying to find him but as no one believed he existed where would I start, sleep took me eventually but not nearly enough to recharge my batteries or improve my drained appearance.

  Lucy woke me up at nine she looked fresh faced and stunning as usual in her jeans and t shirt, whereas I felt like a tramp in my baggy top teamed with sweat pants. Must try harder would be my marks for attire today, who cares it’s only the two of us and moody bro and his opinion of me wasn’t going to register on my radar.

  I loaded up my old Golf; the boot wasn’t too bad with the seats folded flat. It was only a fifteen minute drive so I forced as much as I could in. Adam would meet us at the flat to help unload we may be able to do it in two trips all being well; Lucy’s car was a Nissan pick-up a graduation gift from “daddy” so she had bags of room.

  “Hey Leah what about this box of things from your Grans old house I just found it in the broom closet, should I put it in with mine?” I had forgotten about that box, it had sat there for the last year; I had never even looked inside it

  “Yes yours is fine then it can go in my room I will go through and sort out what I want to keep, its time I opened it up” Lucy grinned at me then shut her boot, we gave a thumbs up to each other then set off together for our new home, Salford Keys here we come.

  Chapter 2

  The car park was empty as most of the residents were probably at work; the only exception was a sleek black Mercedes which I presumed belonged to Adam. As we both parked up, I watched as Adam got out of the car, tall well built with the same dark thick hair as his sister, just as gorgeous too, it was a shame his personality let him down. He was dressed in slim fitting jeans and a Hugo Boss T shirt I spotted the edge of a tattoo showing mm I love tat’s on a man, dark shades hid his eyes. My first thought was, not really appropriate attire for humping boxes. I dragged myself out of my car feeling all of a sudden dowdy in my scruffs; I tried not to look at him when he spoke

  “Hey Sis got enough stuff there? I would have brought Rob if I had known” Rob was his best friend who was in the force; they went through boarding school together. Lucinda had a massive crush on Rob when she was young but they hadn’t met up for over five years now, I could see she still blushed at the mention of his name though. Adam removed his shades and turned to me his eyes were more grey than I remembered, he held his hand out

  “Hello again Leah I hear congratulations are in order, you did very well to land a job with the Herald” I was stunned he was being so polite, just about to shake his hand when Lucy interrupted

  “Christ Ad so formal she’s almost as good as family give her a hug for God’s sake” Adam looked very uncomfortable so I quickly grabbed a box to use as a barrier faked a laugh and walked away noticing Lucy was for once speechless

  “Okay gang I guess we are unloading then” they grabbed a box each then followed me into the modern building. Our flat was on the ground floor so instead of a balcony we had a little outside space complete with plants and seating area, we were planning to buy a barbecue before the flat warming so we could eat al fresco. We were quite excited.

  I inserted the key pushing the door with my foot the flat was just as I hoped, spotless and fully furnished, we had seen the show flat but this was far bigger with more windows and an open airy feel. The kitchen was huge compared with our old place it was separate and had its own dining space. The units were white with granite work tops and a Belfast sink, the floor had been done with slate tiles, and under floor heating throughout the flat meant no unsightly radiators.

  All the walls were painted cream, if I was honest I prefer a colour but Lucy was definite about no wallpaper, she said I should hang some of my paintings instead. I painted abstract art, some would say it was quite dark perhaps even depressing but against a plain wall it would liven it up a bit. I was not sure I wanted people seeing my pictures as they were part of my soul; they were another form of self-expression a bit too personal perhaps to display. I guess no one would analyse them too hard so I would try hanging a couple as an experiment.

  The flat was designed for sharing; our bedrooms were at opposite ends of the living space with a bathroom area plus dressing area attached to each. Both rooms were identical in size so we couldn’t argue. Mine was painted blue, the only splash colour in the flat but it was a colour that helped me relax. All my bedrooms had been painted the same shade perhaps it made me feel at home and secure. Adam was unloading his sister’s car as there was a lot more to bring in, three trips and mine was empty.

  “Lucy I am ready to go back for another I won’t be long” I heard a muffled reply from her bedroom so turned to leave; unfortunately I walked straight into Adam carrying a large cardboard box. The box struck me in the chin as Adam was six feet and myself only five two! He swore loudly as the bottom collapsed spilling everything across the wooden floor, to my horror I realised it was my Grans stuff that was rolling all over the place.

  I fell to the floor scrabbling around to pick everything up Adam was still cursing, my chin was stinging but I didn’t care, Lucy joined us

  “Oh God Leah all your things Adam don’t just stand there help us” he hadn’t moved an inch I looked up angrily then bit my lip, he was staring down at me still holding what was left of the box with me on my knees before him, our eyes met then he blinked hard finally moving to help.

  Old photo’s cuddly toys, school reports, some jewellery of Grans so much of my past laid out before me it almost made me homesick. As we packed everything away again I noticed Adam was leafing through an old scrapbook, I didn’t want him looking down his nose at my humble beginnings so I stood up intending to snatch it off him when I spotted newspaper print hanging out the bottom, my heart thumped in my chest as I saw the expression of horror on his face.

  My eyes closed as I tried to hold myself together but bile was rising in my throat. My Gran had put together a scrapbook for me to look at when I was old enough. The book had photos of my mum when she was a baby, recording her childhood growing up. I often wondered why my mum became a prostitute her life had been so good. Selina Fellows was a bright young girl with a promising future. The wrong crowd had turned her int
o a tearaway my grandfather was a vicar and she brought shame on the family so was thrown out at the young age of 17. My gran had been heartbroken but they never saw her again, once my granddad passed away she had tried to find her but unfortunately she had changed her name to Lovell and hidden away. The newspaper clippings were the reports from the night of her murder graphic and damning not something I shared with anyone.

  Lucy immediately sensed my anguish. I looked at Adam who was staring at me with fresh eyes sorrow and something else, understanding. This was not what I wanted to see, years of wanting him to be civil then one glance at my life he was suddenly a kindred spirit.

  “Adam that’s personal give it here” Lucy grabbed the book off him as she flapped it shut something small woollen and blue fell to the floor. I stared at the little piece of history as it landed on the floor not able to move the truth lay there in front of me but I was frozen.

  “Leah what is it what’s wrong?” Adam had stepped closer to me almost touching, the movement woke me up, I stepped away kneeling down to the floor and carefully picked up the tiny baby’s knitted hat. I held it to my cheek still soft unworn I smelt it to see if his scent was still noticeable, tears were falling un checked as I clung to my little brothers woolly hat .

  “Leah please talk to us, what is it why are you so upset honey I have never seen you cry ever” Lucy had knelt beside me placing her arm around me,

  “He shouldn’t have dropped his hat he may get cold” Adam had got down on the floor too he came up to my face then took my empty hand in his, he spoke very clearly to me

  “Leah let’s sit on the sofa and have a cup of tea, you feel cold can you stand up for me” I looked into his grey eyes mine still full of tears, I let him help me up then followed him to the sofa where he sat me down.

  “Lucinda put the kettle on now, plenty of sugar” she nodded obediently and left us alone. Adam was sitting on the footstool in front of me he took out his hanky and gently wiped my face but he didn’t speak until Lucy came in with a mug of tea. I had put the little hat in my pocket just like that night in the car, this time I wouldn’t lose it I had proof now that Jake was real, and he was stolen just as I thought.