by Melody Anne
If that was so, then why couldn’t she explain this sudden ache in her chest? He’d left, that was what she wanted, or what she’d told herself she wanted. But as she gazed at the empty doorway he’d just left, she felt like crying.
Frustration made her turn her head away and put a false smile on her face as she began speaking of anything she could that wasn’t related to Jackson. When the day dragged on and she still missed him, she knew she was in trouble. Big trouble.
He was a coward.
There was no doubt about it. There were probably scorch marks going out the doorway from Alyssa’s room. Jackson couldn’t think of any other time he’d ever run like that, but run he had. Alyssa was carrying another man’s child, and he’d been propositioning her. And yet he’d tried telling himself he was doing the right thing. She was pregnant, after all. She needed to be taken care of.
But he knew he’d get so much more out of the bargain he was proposing than she would. How long did he really want whatever this was between them to last? Until the end of her pregnancy? A year? Years? Forever?
Was he a monster to take sex in exchange for security? Did she even need the security he could provide? She had her parents, and even though they were nowhere near as wealthy as he was, they obviously loved her and seemed more than willing to take care of her.
So where did that leave him? Was he just trying to find excuses to be with her? Did he actually care about this woman, a woman he barely knew? Hell, he didn’t know what to think about himself or anything else, for that matter.
One thing was clear, though: he was thinking in terms of more than a couple of weeks, of a commitment far longer than he’d ever expected to make again. It was togetherness of the sort that involved rings and vows and “till death do us part.”
He’d sworn he would never enter into a real relationship again, let alone marry again. Commitments were a joke. The vows he and his former wife had made to each other ultimately ended up meaning nothing. Nothing! She’d walked away from him without so much as a backward glance. And then he hadn’t been there fast enough to save his three-month-old baby from the fire her mother had started.
Jackson hung his head as he paced endlessly across the floors of his house. Alyssa probably figured she’d never hear from him again. He really didn’t know anything right now. All he knew for sure was that his gut was churning and he was dazed and confused as hell.
His mind told him to run, to find some other woman, a woman who knew the score, or to find no one and hole up in his home and focus strictly on work. But his heart . . . The damn thing continued to send all sorts of ridiculous notions through his veins, and made him want to do the exact opposite of what his brain insisted was rational.
What was wrong with him? Why had he decided to sit in that exact place in the airport? Why had he decided to move her plane seat next to his? If he’d only waited in the first-class lounge or stood by the counter, as he normally did, none of this confusion would be oppressing him now.
No. To take away that night wasn’t what he wanted. It had been spectacular. When he’d thought he would never see her again, he hadn’t been filled with relief. He’d been . . . Jackson stopped pacing and gazed out his large living room window.
He’d been bereft.
Just admitting that to himself made him feel like a weaker man. He didn’t need a woman in his life to validate his own happiness. He had his work, and he had his family, whether he wanted them around or not.
He had himself.
Why all of a sudden was none of that enough? Because he couldn’t go a single day without thoughts of Alyssa. So what did that mean? His shoulders sagged. He knew the answer. It meant he was going back to see Alyssa.
What happened next, he’d soon find out.
ALYSSA HAD EXPECTED
him to walk out, so why was she feeling so sorry for herself and lying like a limp rag in her suddenly claustrophobic bed? Maybe because she’d begun to have hope, if just the smallest trace of it, that he really did like her. And maybe it was simply because she was a fool.
He didn’t want her. Yes, it was more than obvious that he wanted to spend a few more nights in bed with her, but that wasn’t nearly enough. Of course, with the hormones rushing through her body, she might be able to spontaneously combust and light some bedding on fire all on her own. Her body was sensitive in the extreme, and to feel a man’s touch would be divine. The mere thought of feeling Jackson sink deep inside her made her core pulse.
But she knew that wasn’t what she should do. She’d been smart to keep her distance. The guy was clueless beyond belief, and he must really have a low opinion of her to have assumed so easily that the child was another man’s.
Not that she’d told him anything different. But she hadn’t exactly lied; she just hadn’t told anyone who the baby’s father was. That eased her conscience, if only a little.
“I can’t seem to stay away from you.”
Alyssa turned to watch Jackson stroll into her room as if he didn’t have a care in the world. She was torn between relief, which she certainly didn’t want to feel, and frustration, which she should be feeling.
“What are you doing here? I thought I’d seen the last of you. You ran so fast you left a cloud of smoke behind you.”
“You thought wrong, Alyssa.” He sat down in one chair and propped his legs up on another, making himself disgustingly comfortable, looking as if he weren’t planning on ever leaving.
“I don’t want you here.”
“I disagree. I think you do want me here, but you’re too stubborn to admit it.”
“Well, then, I guess we’re at an impasse, Jackson.”
“You can always try to kick me out,” he told her.
“Don’t think that I’m weak just because I’m in this bed.”
“I would never make such a foolish mistake as to think you anything other than beautiful, strong, and capable.”
It was more than clear that this man was a smooth talker. Did he practice in front of his mirror? Probably. She had to remind herself that he was a powerful businessman, obviously good at coming up with lines in his life of constant schmoozing. He had probably used this same line so many times it flowed from his tantalizing lips without any help from his pea-sized brain.
“Jackson, this is a pointless game you’re playing. You obviously know that I’m pregnant. I’m not on the market,” she said, suddenly drained.
“I disagree. There’s no ring on your finger, and I don’t see a man anywhere nearby who’s holding your hand.”
“Maybe because I don’t need a man to hold my hand.”
“We all need somebody, Alyssa. Sometimes we’re just too damn headstrong to admit that. Are you really so disgusted with me that you don’t want to give us a chance? What we had that night isn’t something that comes around very often. We were good together then and we could be good together again. You’re different from any other woman I’ve met, and I think that if we gave it a go, we’d be exceptional.”
“So, you want to get involved, get married, have a dozen kids and an endless stretch of sleepless nights?”
A twinkle lit his eyes. “I’m game if you are.”
“Jackson! Can you be serious for once? I don’t have time to play games. In less than five months I’m going to have a screaming, messy, sleep-deprived life. I know what I’m in for. I’m actually looking forward to it. None of my plans include carousing around town with a known playboy who never calls back the next morning.”
“You didn’t leave your number, so you can have no idea if I would have called.”
“Would you have?”
He sat there as if really thinking about it. “I am almost positive I would have.”
“You think you would have? Is it unusual for you to call a woman after you’ve already bedded her?”
“Okay, so I haven’t done it in a long time. But that doesn’t mean a man can’t change.”
“Yes, that’s exactly what it means. The only reas
on you want to be with me is that I’m some sort of challenge. I unintentionally wounded your poor manhood when I slipped from the hotel room on the first day of the year. Yes, our night was great. Yes, I’ve thought about it,” she said, and a satisfied grin splayed across his face. “No, I don’t want to repeat it.”
That wiped the grin off. Good.
“I think you’re a liar. Whether you’re lying to me or to yourself or to both of us, you are indeed lying. I think you want to spend a lot more nights with me.”
“Even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. I have another person to think about now. I no longer get to meet a stranger on New Year’s Eve, have wild sex, and then disappear. Mothers don’t do that.”
“I know some pretty hot mothers who do indeed do that.”
“Well, they aren’t the ones I’ll be spending my time with at PTA meetings,” she snapped.
“You won’t even know who you’re spending time with at those meetings, darling. Everyone has secrets, and the older we get, the more savvy we are at fooling those around us.”
Jackass. “I’m not your darling, Jackson. You’re going to shoot my blood pressure right through the ceiling if you don’t quit harassing me.”
“Then quit arguing with me. I’ve decided I’m not going away. I like the idea of having a baby around.”
“You don’t get to make that choice.” Those words sent fear spiraling through her. That’s what she was afraid of. She was terrified he wanted to keep the baby around . . . and not her.
“I can make up my own mind, Alyssa.”
“Well, you can’t make my decisions for me. I’ve said it over and over again, and you just won’t listen. Save what little pride you have left and scurry on out of here before I lose what shred of patience I have left.”
“Do you like pizza?”
His change in topic threw her completely. Nothing she was saying had the smallest impact on him. He just sat there looking calm and in control. What would it take to drive this man away? And did she really want to drive him away, or did she just want to see whether he was strong enough to stay? He’d already run off once. What would stop him from leaving again?
“Everyone likes pizza,” she finally huffed.
“Good. I have one on the way.” He picked up her remote and turned the television on.
“We don’t have pizza in Sterling,” she pointed out.
“It’s coming from Billings.”
“What? Who does that, Jackson? Who has pizza delivered from that far away?”
“I wanted pizza, sounded good,” he said nonchalantly. She didn’t even want to think about how much it was costing him to get his pizza.
“I just had breakfast not too long ago.”
“I hear that pregnant women eat a lot.”
“That was rude!”
“How?” He stopped what he was doing to give her his full attention.
“Are you calling me fat?” she said.
“How do you translate my saying pregnant women eat a lot into your being fat?”
The puzzled expression on his face was almost endearing. Almost, not quite.
“Do the math. Eating a lot equals consuming a lot of calories, and that makes you fat.” Did she have to spell everything out?
“I just don’t get women.” He turned back to the TV, ignoring the question and her ranting.
She’d really better come up with a game plan, and soon, or he was going to get his way from simply wearing her down, and she couldn’t allow that to happen.
Alyssa said nothing more as he played with her television remote, flipping through the channels as if he didn’t have a single worry. When he found an action film and settled back in his chair as if it were his freaking room, she almost lost her temper again.
“What. Are. You. Doing. Now?” she finally asked after five entire minutes passed without a word between them.
“Making myself comfortable. I’ll talk to you more when you’re being reasonable,” he said before turning back to the big chase scene.
“That’s it,” she snapped. “And I’ll talk to you when you learn to behave like a civilized human being and not a spoiled jerk who was clearly never taught manners.” She picked up one of her pillows and tossed it straight at his head.
“Thanks, darling,” he said, and he tucked the pillow behind his neck and kicked back just a little bit more.
Fine. If he wanted to hang around her boring room and waste his time, it was a free country. But she wasn’t going to make it easy on him. Grabbing the remote from him, she flipped stations and found Pretty Woman, then leaned back and smiled.
Her triumph was a bit lessened when he didn’t say a word, just watched the romantic comedy without complaint. What would it take to ruffle his feathers? Because he sure as hell knew how to rile her up.
The pizza was delivered a few minutes later, sending Jackson down the stairs to answer the door and bringing him right back to her room with a big cardboard box. When the smell of grease and cheese hit her nostrils, she hated him a little more because she began salivating.
She refused to give in and take a slice, not even when he set it on the little table right beside her, leaving the aroma to drift to her. By the time he had his third piece in his hand, she couldn’t hold out any longer. Her resolve melted, just like the stupid cheese.
Oh, well, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, right? At least for now.
“Wow, back again? Really?”
“You have a doctor’s appointment,” Jackson replied easily.
“I realize I have an appointment. That still doesn’t explain why you are here.”
“When I was on my way out yesterday, your mother told me you had an appointment, so she was going to have to cancel her volunteer work over at the library, reading to the children. I know how much the children enjoy it, so I volunteered to take you,” he said, cheeky grin in place.
“And no one thought to ask me how I felt about this arrangement?” she snapped, now knowing for certain that her mother was up to no good.
“I have the day free and you have a ride, plus your mother gets to make the kiddos happy. Everyone wins.”
“Everyone but me,” she muttered as she scooted over on her bed and stood up.
He rushed up to her. “Do you need help?”
“No. I don’t need help. I’m going to the bathroom to shower and change. And then I’m going to take the ride to the doctor because I don’t want to bother my parents any further than I already have. But I’m not happy about it. Had I known my mother was volunteering, I would have asked one of the ladies to give me a ride,” she told him before walking away and firmly shutting the bathroom door behind her.
It took her longer than she would have liked to shower and dress, and she wasn’t pleased that it taxed her strength. Each day she was feeling better, and she really thought that it was more fear, because the doctor had told her she needed bed rest, than actual weakness. Still, she was doing all she could to be careful.
When she emerged from the bathroom, she found Jackson sitting on her bed, feet stretched out while he watched a movie on HBO. She tried to fight her irritation—and lost.
“You look like you’re quite comfortable,” she said as she moved forward and picked up her purse.
“This is a great bed. I can see why you like staying in it,” he teased as he swung his feet around and then stood.
“At least you had the decency to take off your shoes. And I don’t like staying in it,” she informed him as she made her way from the room. “From what I’ve read, my doctor is a prize idiot, and I’m going to get a second opinion. Maybe the new doctor will tell me to keep people like you out of my bedroom.”
“Ah, I have heard complaints about the temp guy. But, hey, everyone needs a vacation once in a while, but Doc Alf will be back soon.”
“Doc Alf?” She’d never heard of him.
“Well, everyone just calls him Doc, but his name is Alfred, so then some of the more rambunctious kids—not me,
of course,” he said with a grin that told her he must have been a front-runner in this new game. “Well, some of the kids came up with Doc Alf—you know, from that old alien television show?”
“Why are we even talking about this?” she asked.
“You were the one complaining about your doctor.”
“I guess the sooner Doc Alf gets back, the better,” she said, ending the discussion.
Reaching the top of the stairs, she looked down them, feeling a little intimidated. It was ridiculous, she thought. Nothing was going to happen to her from climbing down a staircase. Her doctor wouldn’t have her coming in this afternoon if he didn’t think it was safe.
Before she could take the first step, she felt Jackson’s arms wrap around her, and then she was being pulled into his embrace as he cradled her to his chest and then began descending the staircase, leaving her no choice but to grab ahold of him or risk falling forward.
“What in the world are you doing?”
“Making sure you don’t overexert yourself,” he said as he reached the bottom of the stairs and set her down, not even a little out of breath.
“I can walk just fine on my own, Jackson.” She was the one out of breath.
It wasn’t like she’d forgotten how it felt to be in his arms, but the memories had begun to fade. Now they were right back to being front and center with the feel of his solid arms around her.
If she didn’t manage to get her hormones under control sometime in the next century, she might be the one propositioning him next. And that wasn’t something she was willing to do.
“Ready?” he asked as he held open her parents’ front door.
She answered in a monosyllable and said nothing else as she stepped outside, and then paused as she felt the fresh air and sunshine on her face. It had been only a couple of days since she’d been outside, but that was long enough. She’d rather live in a tent than be holed up for too long indoors.
“We’ve lucked out. It’s a beautiful spring day,” Jackson said as he wrapped an arm around her to help her down the front steps.